Single moms working 2 jobs

Stephanie - posted on 01/13/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I'm a single mother of 2 girls-ages 13 & 9. Their father & I split up 3 years ago, but have been divorced only a year. I'm raising my daughters on my own. I receive no child support or financial help from him at all. At this current time, he hasn't held a job in almost a year. He's an alcoholic, which is the reason I divorced him & he lost his job, along w/the girls health insurance. I work a full time job & part time job. Are there any other mothers like me on here? If so, what advice can you give? My house is a mess b/c I work 6 days a week. I feel guilty for not being able to spend as much time w/my girls as I'd like. But then again, I can't quit the 2nd job right now. It helps make ends meet. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

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Rebecca - posted on 11/14/2012

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I'm so happy to hear things worked out for you. My girls are almost the same ages your were. I'm working two part time Jobs to just make basic bills. You have given me a little hope things will get better. I'm just tired.

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Ashley - posted on 05/13/2014

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Hi,
I'm a single mother of a 6 yr old daughter and I currently work two jobs and I look at it as I'm going what I need to to provide for my child,I like the independence and security also. My apartment is also a mess and I hate not being able to spend the time with her that she and I would like to spend but I know in my heart its what's best for me n her as far as keeping a roof over her head and food on the table..and I want her to look up to me,so you have to look at it in that mannor hunn, your children will thank you one day for doing what you have to do or had to do to provide for them and that's one of the best gifts you can give your children is financial stability and a life even if you can't spend much time with them! God does everything for a reason and he will always love and protect you and you and your children will always be taken care of and you don't have to worry about a man not working BC you do it all and that's why god made mothers girl! Just hang in there it will be ok! Always Remember you children will thank you one day!

Stephanie - posted on 11/14/2012

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Rebecca,



Hang in there. I know it's not easy but things will get better in time. I remember there were nights when I worked my part time job & wouldn't get home until after 1 or 2 in the morning & then had to be up at 6 to get my girls up for school or I would work 12 -14 days in a row between both jobs.Get rest when you can & also a little you time never hurts, even if it's just soaking in a hot bath after your girls are in bed. You need to take care of you so you don't get run down.If you ever need to talk, please message me. :)

Stephanie - posted on 11/13/2012

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Since I posted this 3 years ago, I quit my 2nd job in April of 2009. In July of that same year, I got remarried. My girls are now 13 & 16. Their dad is a recovering alcoholic & helps me more financially w/them.

I am in a much better place now than when I first posted this. My life is totally different & I'm very happy.

Laura - posted on 11/13/2012

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I'm also a single mom of one. I've been taking care of my child since she was 2 on my own, she is now 9 years old. I've worked two jobs all the time and have been attending school as well. My best advise to you would be to find someone you trust that is willing to help you take care of your children while you are working. Thankfully my mother has always been a stay home wife so when I became a single parent she was ready to play the part of babysitter. The problem now is that she is so attached to me daughter that she doesn't want to let us move far from her. It's hard working two jobs if you don't have the support from family and those around you. Believe I know exactly how it feels. My daughter asked me when she was 5, why I never had time for her that I was always at work or in school. This year I decided that I would be working one job, and I have. To find out that I was only making a couple hundred dollars more then I make now by working two jobs. Normally spent on food or gas going back in forth that I feel that the choice of working one job has gave me more pleasure and time to spend with my daughter.

MonteReye - posted on 01/21/2009

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I totally know how you feel i am 21 a mom of a two year old and i work from 8-5 then 5-11 everyday!  I just bought my first house,  I don't get any help from the dad or money. It is hard but when they get old enough to understand they willl apprciate us that much more because they will understand we did it for them.  And it is not the quantity of time it is the quality of the time we spend with them.  Keep your chin up something good is bound to come around to those of us who deserve it

Demetria - posted on 01/21/2009

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Stay strong sister! Women see the invisible, hear the inaudible, and achieve every goal we make. We are strong! You are doing the best you can for the best part of you (your children). your drive and determination will see you through.

Stephanie - posted on 01/21/2009

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Thanks to all of you for offering me the kind words & encouragement. It's great to know that I'm not the only mother that is going through something like this.

Shanee - posted on 01/21/2009

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Stephanie I am just like you. I work a full time, I go to school full time and I also work a part time job. The phrase that helps me when I am feeling bad is "YOU ARE NOT THE 1ST AND YOU WONT BE THE LAST" You will not be struggling forever. Help them understand you working is a very small sacrafice for them to have a better life. I LOVE YOU MY SISTER. BE BLESSED. Keep your head up and Remeber he has already worked it out, you still just trying to figure it out.

Julie - posted on 01/21/2009

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Hi there,

I am a single mum of a 13 yr old boy and 7 yr old boy. I work in the Financial Planning industry and also have my own work from home business. I have just now been able to cut back my financial planning full time job to 3 days per week because I have grown my own work from home business. This enables me to be at home to be with the kids, help with homework, drop them at school etc. And not feel guilty.... They are very happy that I have made this change. I make $2000 to $3000 profit per month with my work from home business. So have a look at my website if you are interested as I know it has helped me strike that single parent balance...www.abalancedlife.biz

Courtney - posted on 01/15/2009

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I know it seems hard....I'm a single mom too and I have two full time jobs. I spend the day time hours working one job and get off long enough to see my lil' man for a while and then I'm off to job #2. I do this 6 days a week. It sucks but I have no help from the government, no help from the "father" ----all we have is each other. And you know what? I know in the end, my son is gonna look back and be proud of me for working so hard for him. I doubt he's gonna be critiquing how clean (*ahem* messy LOL) the house was.



YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB MOM! Keep up the good work, IT WILL GET BETTER!



Hugs,

Courtney

Elizabeth - posted on 01/14/2009

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Girl I have been working 2 jobs for years I understand your dilema so well I too divorced because my husband and drinking this is the 1st time in 17 yrs I have no had a 2nd job going on 2 yrs of not having 2 jobs but fixing to go back to it. Yes you will have a disatress house it is extremely hard to keep up with that you will be missing out with those babies as well but in the long run you are doing the correct thing. Just keep on pluging away it will get better may be not soon but it will!! GOD BLESS

Stephanie - posted on 01/14/2009

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Thanks! It's always nice to have words of encouragement from someone who's going through the same thing I am. I do have days where I go from one job straight to the other so I completely understand that.

Elise - posted on 01/13/2009

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I'm a single mother of a 16 month old boy, and currently hold many part-time jobs. I completed my B.S. at OSU but cannot seem to find that first, great career; and so I work 6 days a week, sometimes two jobs per day. I try to cherish every moment I have with my son and tell myself that it's not a permanent situation. Be proud of what you are doing! You are supporting your family through hard work and determination. Keep up the good work and things will fall into place.

Abbey - posted on 01/13/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:



And that makes the time at home more precious, doesn't it? I always enjoy the time I'm at home. There are some nights I say to heck w/it & we eat TV dinners or frozen pizzas and watch cartoons or movies.






And please let me know how the schedule works out. I'm going to implement a chore chart. My girls are big enough to help me out more than they do.






Thanks for replying.






check out flylady.net.  It's a great resource to help around the house with getting everything done and you'll get daily e-mail chores for the kids to do.  I've been using it for a while now and it has made a big difference. 

Stephanie - posted on 01/13/2009

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And that makes the time at home more precious, doesn't it? I always enjoy the time I'm at home. There are some nights I say to heck w/it & we eat TV dinners or frozen pizzas and watch cartoons or movies.



And please let me know how the schedule works out. I'm going to implement a chore chart. My girls are big enough to help me out more than they do.



Thanks for replying.

Cassie - posted on 01/13/2009

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I meant say I work full time and go to school full time, btw.  It feels like I am never home.

Cassie - posted on 01/13/2009

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Stephanie

I feel your pain. I've got three kids and very little help from my ex. I'm not currently working two jobs, but I go to school full time. There could be a part time job in my future if I could find one. I know that my mother did it for years, and she went to college. But looking back, I can't remember her not being there. She made the time we did spend together overshadow her absences. Just make sure you don't forget to have fun. Rent some movies and eat popcorn for dinner. Give each other mani/pedi's on your day off.

But don't let the households responsibility fall on your shoulders alone. One thing that I do to help out with being the only parent is having the kids help around the house. My kids are 10, 9 & 7. My oldest can do laundry, cook mac & cheese, do the dishes, clean the toilets, etc. My younger two have chores they can do as well. I'm hoping to teach them life skills such as picking up after themselves instead of waiting for someone to do it for them. Oh, another thing that I use is a schedule. We're still working out the kinks with that, but it seems to be helping.

Diane - posted on 01/13/2009

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Sorry I don't have any advice I am also a single mom who works. I guess the only thing I would try and do is maybe see about getting a raise or promotion with your main job and then you might not have to do the second job. I do relate I work a lot of nights so I feel that my 11 yr old doesn't get the attention or mothering she deserves which makes me feel so guilty.



My name is Diane Walker I live in Charlotte NC so anytime you want to chat just send me a message.!!



Sorry I couldn't be more help! but know that there are other people also struggling to be good moms. Take Care and good luck.

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