single mum on my own with 2 kids an one on the way.....iam sooo depressed anyone help???

Bex - posted on 03/22/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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iam a single mum of 2 a 11 an 3 yr old an one on the way ive just recently been single an he left wen i found out i was pregnant..i dont go out really only to do the day to day things.. i feel alone an dunno wot to do to pick myself up an stop beoin depressed does anyone have any ideas...plz help...bex

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Zandi - posted on 03/24/2010

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Thats what happened to me- he disappeared the day i told him i was pregnant. We'd been together 6 years, known each other 10. the best thing i can offer as advice to you is just learn to live on- if you're working keep going to work, feel whatever you need to feel, cry when you need to and dont rush yourself to get over it. it will be fine trust me. not sure what your spiritual base is like, but i found a lot of comfort through prayer and openness about the reality of things. People who really cared showed up and blessings will come your way.

Take it one day at a time and as hard as it may be to understand way things are the way they are, try not to dwell on it. focus on the current day each time and you will soon realize there is a sun out there to shine on you again.

Good luck. I have been there and am still learning each day. it gets better believe me. surround yourself with positive people and i will say try not to communicate your hurt or pain to him- i say so becaus ei learnt in my experience, they get annoyed and will become even more cruel.. just do you and your other kids.

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Georgia - posted on 03/27/2010

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How are u today Bex? I am thinking of you & wish I could be a Mum again soon.. I loved being pregnant w/ Beau. I know that if you get involved w/ the right church God willl bring you blessings like you couldn't even imagine... Please try to search one out or go w/ a buddy??

Georgia - posted on 03/25/2010

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I understand being alone. I often feel alone too however, do you believe in God? Do you go to a church? I have alot of women from church that have saved me from the edge... I would be honored to be a friend, I have a 10 yr old & love children. It makes life so much easier when you have another set of hands & eyes to watch them...I like to go to the mall & have my son go thru the water & I sit back, get some sun & enjoy a conversation w/ a buddy. My name is Georgia & I don't have alot of family support but, I am always looking for more support myself. Do you live here in AZ?

Marion - posted on 03/25/2010

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ur girls r a good age which is good news they will be very helpful.time out is v.i.p for u mom find a good friend that shows interest and in that u need to go out join a single moms club any thing that has a club or group the support is out there.start by telling ur self i need to do some thing like letter u wrote this ur mind is playing games which is v understanding i wish i was ur neighbour i cracked when i had number 6 i felt so alone but i also planned other options give the baby up,foster the baby out ect in my heart i knew what i was going to do and im on my with all of them with the support of all the neighbours:)cheer up u have so much to see ahead i hope its a boy;0)plan ur options and and what ever will be is ment to b

Tina - posted on 03/25/2010

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i totaly agree with nicola the best thing to do is to keep urself busy, i no it easy said then done sometimes esp when you have kids that need to be kept in a routine, treat urself to some pamper tme on a night time a nice bath some face masks that sud help lift you up a bit, try mother and toddlers grous during te day with ur little one then you can at least get some adult conversation lol and maybe make some great friends. hope you get something sorted soon.x.

Jennifer - posted on 03/23/2010

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try going to church. that seems to help me my children get to go to bible study i get a little quiet time and time to reflect on me. something else put on make up and tell yourself you are beautiful every day. think of 5 good things about yourself and write them down, put them in a box individually pull one out everyday read to yourself into the mirror. Every week add 5 more. you have many good qualities think of them.

Karli - posted on 03/23/2010

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join mom and baby groups, go out with friends for coffee, cry once in a while (it helps). friends and family help alot! also, just reaching out on here helps too!

Bridgette - posted on 03/23/2010

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It can be depressing on your own with children. Put your time into your kids and enjoy them. Those faces and smiles should make you want to do day to day things because they are happy. Find someone that you can go to and talk with about whats going on with you. It gets better as long as you do your part.

Ena - posted on 03/23/2010

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You will be fine. Just keep praying on it. Your hormones will change and things will get better. My mom was a single mom and had five of us. She was able to raised us all on her own. Focus on your babies and meet new ppl,friends,get involve in the communities. If you can afford to move back where your family lives to have them closer might help. Good luck to you.

Monica - posted on 03/23/2010

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FIRST OFF FORGET ABOUT HIM,HE GONE CONCENTRATE ON YOU AND THOES BABIES RIGHT NOW.MAKE A GAME PLAN AND STICK TO IT AND LEAN ON WHATEVER SUPPORT SYSTEMS YOU HAVE. AND IF HE GAVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU HE WOULD'NT OF WALKED OUT YOU WERE PROBALY TO GOOD FOR HIM ANYWAYS.SO KEEP YA HEAD UP GIRL IF YOUR DEPRESSED THEN YOUR KIDS ARE TOO BECAUSE THEY KNOW MOMMY IS SAD ABOUT SOMETHING.

Kayla - posted on 03/23/2010

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Im also a single mom of 2.. My son is 24 months and my daughter is 6 months. It's rough. Add me if you ever need to talk.

Trisha - posted on 03/23/2010

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Life will be better without the unreliable man, that is for sure! There's some positive news right there! Maybe you can arrange for a babysitter or something and take a day off, for you, even if it is just to go and be alone for a while. Even though the man was unreliable and left, your children still love you, and you have a world full of support! (Thank God for the internet!)

Sarah - posted on 03/22/2010

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Been there. I was 2 months pregnant with our second child and he decided he'd rather be with the 18 year old that he was cheating on me with. I had to move from the 3 bdrm house in a beautiful neighborhood to the projects with no AC during a heatwave in Florida.

My advice is to surround yourself with your friends and family. If you have a job, throw yourself into the work. If you have a church, become more involved and maybe talk to your pastor. If you have insurance, see if it covers a therapist. It was the hardest time of my life, but I made it through and you will too.

Good Luck!

Bex - posted on 03/22/2010

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thanx for ya comments i try to get out but not easy wen my daughter has epilepsy so sometimes shes always tired an my son well tipical 3 yr old to much energy......i dont really have my family an my friends...well dont have many...my kids are my world an make me happy in ways i can never be but its still hard plus i had a misscarriage last yr so this pregnancy has it worries...an iam doin it alone in some sense iam hope everyday my life shall get better for me an my kids cos there happiness means more to me then life its self xxx

Maricela - posted on 03/22/2010

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well we all know with pregnancy comes depression, and im sorry to tell you but it wont get better any time soon...if i was close to you i would give a big hugg and help you feel better...friends are great when u feel like shit..in the end you will find that everything is so worth it..gosh im only 23 and getting divorced, but im so thankfull for my 2 lil girls 3yrs and 7 mnths old..they mean the world to me and everyday i go silly with them and thats when i realize wow i couldnt be any happier...really just try to get out with friends, i met some that thnx to them im up on my 2 feet n moving on with life..just cuz ur preggo doesnt mean u cant have a good time..as long as u r accomplished as a mother, whatever else u want to do with ur life is up to you...so please smile BIG and be happy for ur kids...if u r not happy they wont b either...xoxoxo

Nicole - posted on 03/22/2010

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Sorry you have to deal with this! But getting out may help! Absorb yourself in your children, go outside and enjoy the sunshine (if you're in a place with sunshine). Do you have any support? Any people to vent to?? My mom was always there to listen to me cry and vent. If you have someone like that, use them! And if not, reach out and try making new friends or meeting other single moms in your area. It's tough and you're hormones are probably crazy right now. I'm sure with time, things will get better. :-)

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