Single Parent, is it a status you have to be sorry for?

Riza - posted on 08/25/2010 ( 140 moms have responded )

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Excerpt from a chat message:



Friend: So, do you have any children?



Riz: Yes, my daughter, aged 1.



Friend: Nice! how long have you been married?



Riz: I am not married, I am single.



Friend: Oh! Where is the father?



Riz: He has his own world, he did not consider my daughter a part of it.



Friend: I am sorry Riz, It must have been hard, I am sad for you..



Riz: You do not have to be sorry nor sad, I am not..





Most of the people I talk to feels sorry when they realized that you are raising your child or children alone. I got to say it is not a walk in the park but it is not hell either.



Being a single parent, whether by choice or circumstance is something I am not ashamed of. It is something I am not sorry for nor sad about. It is my life I am living and I say I am surviving it.



While the suitable family consist of a Dad, a Mom and a baby, my family is only Me and Zoe. She have a daddy and a mommy in me, all rolled into one.



I will make her feel that none is missing, that all the love I could give could also be equal to, if not over the love two people can give.



This will not be easy and I have a long long way to go. But I will be stronger than what I am now cause my daughter deserves better, and it does not always mean that missing a male figure in the house does not make it less of a home.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Chrisdee - posted on 07/14/2013

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Being a single parent is not a status you should be sorry for, but I have found some level of discrimination and generalization surrounds it. I live in the US. I became a single parent as a result of a divorce. My ex left me and our children for another woman after 12 years of marriage. Now as a 30 something single mom of two, I have found many reactions, some erroneously assume that I chose to be a single parent and thus "deserve" the challenges that single parenting brings, others "feel sorry" for me, while some just isolate - as they perceive I don't quite fit into the group with married couples or singles either, as I have children. I have also found a bit of a double standard as well. Single men with children appear to be a female magnet, as some women appear to find a single dad a rarity and an instant positive. No, I am not ashamed at all of being a single mom. Becoming a single parent has taught me a great deal about myself, true character and resiliency. Yes, there are challenges and no others do not always understand, but I can say that I have met MANY extraordinary women who like myself are single parents who have managed to create wonderful homes and families without a male partner.

Vacreta - posted on 01/12/2013

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I agree I am a proud single mom to a 11 year old son and i love the fact that I am a single mom who has worked and graduated from college.I love it it. He has a dad who is a dad when he wants to be and thats fine but now I hate the fact he feels obligated now that he pays child support and has visitation. But he can keep his money and go away because i am holding down this single mom thing. It makes me feel good that I do this by myself and right now i have raised a perfect little gentleman hoping and praying he stays like that now that we are in the tween stages,lol

Deborah - posted on 05/16/2012

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I have been single mum for 11 years and no it has'nt always been easy, sometimes i felt like giving up but i did'nt, we don't, we get knocked back over and over but we keep getting up and pushing forward. Why? not because were single and feel we have to do more then others to make our childrens lives better then everyone else's, not because we feel we have to prove to everyone that we can cope. the only reason we pick ourselves up, brush ourselves down and hold our heads up is because were parents and we carry on for our children. when i was with there dad i had it all, the house, the cars, the holidays financialyl i was secure but the relationship was abusive and we only had these this if he allowed us to have them, if i toed the line. So one day i woke up,i left with my children, cos i did'nt want them to grow up in that environment. I don't have all the things or the security i had but i have alot more, i don't have anyone using these things to blackmail me with (if i don't have them i can't lose them or be beholding to someone for them) but more importantly then that i have two very well behaved children who are confident, happy and striving in there lives, who's teachers who are'nt even aware of what they've been through are shocked that they are well balanced and happy and don't have any issues or problems as a result of it and why because i took them out of a life were they would end up being scare of everything and gave them a life were they cud be free and happy. I see so many people staying in unhappy relationships for fear of losing what they have, alot of mums say they cud'nt do what i did. U cope and u manage, its not about being single its about being a parent and what you would sacrafice for your child, the only differnce is being single you have to do it all on your own and that is what makes us stronger and why we should all be proud and not let these small minded people who think we are a burden on society and that our children are the ones with problems. we are not a burden, our children are not problems and we are strong and proud

Autumn - posted on 09/06/2010

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I am a single parent of my one year old son Nicholas. It can be very challenging at times, especially being 19 and going to college. However, I know that by me doing all this it will make me stronger for my son in the long run. I also juggle a part time job. I am doing all this because I love my son and want the best for him. So I might be labeled as the single parent, but that doesnt matter because I know that I am a great parent to my son and I am the one parent who gave him a chance

Amanda - posted on 09/02/2010

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Alexis - I am sorry to hear about your circumstances. I DO, on the other hand, commend you for stepping up and not only HAVING your baby, but also for keeping your baby. I don't know a lot of people who could/would have kept a baby that was conceived by rape. I understand why you would feel differently than those of us who are glad to be single moms. I am proud to be a single mom because my ex-husband was (IS) a royal jerk and didn't feel the need to actually be here for his family. He was more concerned about making his mommy happy than making his wife and daughter happy. My life, as well as my daughter's life, is better now because we do it on our own. The other reason I'm proud to be a single mom is because he always said I "couldn't make it without him" and it makes me as proud as I can be to prove him wrong on that.

It's ok for you to want the love and to want a daddy for your daughter. And I'm sure that one day you will find the perfect man to complete your family. Keep you head up girl, life DOES get better! :) I won't tell you that I don't want the love of a man because I would be lying, I just don't NEED it. I definitely think about how nice it would be to have a man in my life, but I also know that I don't have to have one to survive. I have proven to myself and everyone around me that I can do this on my own. I hope things get better for you Alexis. My daughter and I will pray for you and your daughter. God bless you!

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Nephile - posted on 09/16/2013

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Am a single mum of a 7year old handsome young man,so charming,,he lights up my world and never have I felt sorry for having him even though its quiet challenging.

Ashley - posted on 01/13/2013

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I made the choice. My child's father and I are oil and water.... there was no way we'd make it. I'm not sorry b/c of that.... I'm a parent, like everyone else. I believe I was given this journey because I'm strong enough to face it. It's all about attitude.

Sarah - posted on 01/10/2013

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being a single mum of 5 has given me an experience which i couldnt get if i was married i think. it feels nice to play both Roles and i should say its a gift which God has not given to just everyone. so i take it with a glad heart coz i know am special...my daughter is a sweet gal and i would never trade her for anything not even a husband.she is the greatest blessings that God has ever given me and i treasure her every moment of my life.Kudos to all single mums...lets love our sweet children God has given us.

Deborah - posted on 05/16/2012

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Hi Mel, No one should have to of put up with the stigma and attitude that you had to put up with from being a single mum, i'm not going to go on about how awful it was for you, it would be awful for anyone to go through that and for it to be extended to your son aswell just goes to prove that some people are very small minded. You should be extremely proud of yourself and the strength you found within yourself to carry on when dealing with all these situations.that strength came from your son, as much as you were in that situation you carried on for him And i'm pleased that you have met someone who excepts you for who you are and that you are now happy again.

Mel - posted on 05/16/2012

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No, being a single parent is not a status you have to be sorry for. Certainly every person you come across will say the same thing. Of course they will, because they don't want to be caught out not being politically correct. However, try living in Adelaide, Australia. I had my son in 2009 and have been stigmatised and excluded in all aspects of my life. I was told that I was not welcome in the mothers group I had joined because some of the women didn't feel comfortable having a single mother in the group, I lost friends, I have had other friends only invite me to events with other single people and sole parents where as I was not invited to gatherings with couples, even my own sister and brother in law have stopped inviting me to parties and gatherings. I have even experienced this in the workplace where my very catholic boss who was quite happy with me until he found out I had a child and wasn't married. His whole demeanor and attitude changed and I was passed up for the promotion only a few moths previously he had urged me towards and told me he wanted to see me in that very position. Yes, I did struggle with my situation and the way my sons father treated me. But I also moved past this, I didn't suffer from depression and actively sought help for my emotional well being for the sake of my son and providing him with a fantastic life experience. But the general attitude out there in Adelaide society is disgraceful. I feel like I've been rocketed back to the 1950's. On top of these experiences I have found that I had been pigeon holed by men and only got interest from men who consider me an easy lay because I am a single mum. When I tried to get away from one particular man after realising what his intentions were, he came to my house and raped me in front of my son. His belief being that I was there for him to have sex with and that was it. I have since found an amazing partner, not from Adelaide, and we are now married. I can say that I feel so relieved and so happy not to be a single parent. My son has suffered through exclusionary practices and I have suffered through stigmatisation, discrimination, and the view that it was ok to abuse me. It's disgusting yet it's real and it happens. I'm not a one off case, I know single mothers that wear wedding rings and have elaborate stories made up to tell people about where there husbands are, I even know a single mother who tells people her 'husband' has died. This is unfortunately how it is being a single mother where I live and I am just so happy I am not there anymore! I know that others have really positive experiences, from what I read, but many don't and I will never have a child out of wedlock again.

Tammy - posted on 05/13/2012

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Dont feel sorry for me! I love my son. Would it be easier to have help? Of course it would. Do I regret the decision I made to be a single mom? NOT FOR ONE SECOND. I might not be the greatest mom, but I would lay my life on the line for my son. He is my world.He amazes me and brings so much laughter and love to my life. So dont feel sorry for us single parents. Feel sorry for the kids. They are the ones that get the bad part of this deal.

Chrissy - posted on 05/12/2012

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I'm not a single mom but sometimes I almost wish I were!!! ; ) I think both statuses have their advantages and disadvantages.
I love to see strong confident women speak their mind whether single, married, or partnered up!!!!
I know many single mothers doing a beautiful job and many are getting help from family and friends. As a matter of fact, I know single moms who have way more support than some married women I know. Single Motherhood is just a title...just goes to show you cannot judge a person based on labels.
Keep up the good work moms!!!

Alysha - posted on 05/11/2012

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I am a single mom of a beautiful 2 year old and it's not easy, but I don't regret it. The only tears and the only person I'm sorry for is my daughter's father. He's the one that's missing out on her life. I chose to be a single mom because I knew that it was going to be a challenge, yet rewarding and I knew that i could do it. However, other people don't think that I can do it. Which makes me really sad. I live with my folks, and all of their friends have said that I'm doing a great job as a mom, but yet, I still feel as though my folks don't fully trust that I can raise my child on my own without their help. Which I don't even ask for their help, unless I really need it. Which is rare.

Raine - posted on 05/11/2012

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I am not sorry for being a single mom. I feel guilty sometimes, but I know that I shouldn't. There is nothing to be guilty about. If anything, I am (and should be) proud that I was able to leave his father. Both of our lives are better and I am not sorry about that.

Mogire - posted on 05/11/2012

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its nothing to be embarrassed bout, should be happy God has given u the strength and wisdom of two.
There are married people who do not have a much joy and peace of mind as you could be having.
Do ur best and you will realize you make it to great heights
Kids are happy with happy parent(s). if it was not by choice take time and you will realize the man who left was not worthy atl all

[deleted account]

Can relate to you Sharon. My ex, would change days/times of visits (too much petrol money, work etc) and then expect me to change other plans that I'd made to allow him to visit. Certainly once or twice, I turned round and said no, made other plans, as you said you were coming on the Saturday and we're doing something else on Sunday. No can't change my plans now. He didn't like it.

We would go out for a day out (weather permitting), and I would end up paying for him as well as myself and the girls. (He would rarely contribute financially). As my eldest put it - when he came for visits, he was more interested in drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, that was her impression of her Dad.

Have to say, he hasn't seen my girls in years, and only managed a few months of writing letters when he wanted to have contact again. I gave him a list of rules that he had to follow - with the threat that if he didn't follow them, then I would stop contact. As it wasn't happening as fast as he would have liked, he stopped writing to them and sending them presents. I noticed that he favoured my eldest over her sisters - she had her own set of things, while the younger two had to share some things!!!

Susan - posted on 05/04/2012

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I know what you mean. When people say that it makes me feel sorry for my son. I feel guilty that I brought him into this situation...

Sharon - posted on 04/05/2012

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How do you feel about my situaion? My daughter is 2.5 years old and her father comes to visit her when he feels like it which may be once or twice every 4 months. He will only see her if I am there and will not keep her on weekends because that means he will actually have to take care of her. If he & I get into a fight, he takes it out on my little girl by not calling or coming to see her. I used to feel bad and did everything in my power to have her see him, but I after awhile I felt like I was forcing the situation. A few months ago he left her while she was sleeping and up to this day she says "mommy I slept too much so daddy went home" It breaks my heart and I figure sometimes it would just be better if he wasn't in her life at all. I used to feel that it was selfish of me to feel this way and questioned whether or not I wanted him out of her life because of how I feel about it, but now I find that I would be saving her from years of heartache and disappointment.

Opinions?

Sarahkaye - posted on 04/03/2012

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You have it down perfect. Keep doing what you're doing, because you are inspirational.

Caroline - posted on 04/03/2012

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By the way being a single parent is not something that one should be sorry about. In anycase there are those that chose to be single by choice ie have you baby and thats it and there are those that circumstances force them to end up that way e.g Divorce, death and many other reasons sometimes one can have a very stubborn hubby who is so frustrating and hence make a decision. I am a single mother been this way for 12 years now and i have raised my daughters on my own never feel sorry for myself on the contrary i am proud of myself and what i have done. so all you single parents hold your head high you are as good.

[deleted account]

Over the years I've had a few 'I'm sorry' when I've said I'm a single parent. Said that there's nothing to be sorry about and that I'm happily divorced and we're better off without my ex in our lives. Once some of them who've given the 'I'm sorry' line, have got to know me and my daughters, have realised that just because my girls don't have their Dad in their lives, doesn't mean that they're missing out.



My girls have good male role models in their lives and that's what matters.

Stephanie - posted on 04/01/2012

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I try not to feel bad about it. But sometimes I feel like all of society is after me to drag me down. That no matter what I do it is never good enough in other's eyes. I just want to be enough. I will never be perfect, but beautiful 3 year old daughter is so smart, confident and a natural born leader. I have been working more so I don't see her as much as I like to. I miss her, but at least I am off assistance now and becoming more self-sufficient. I love her more than anything in this world.

Patricia - posted on 03/31/2012

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i was raised by a single mom and let me tell you we didnt have alot of money my mom cleaned houses for a living, but she took care of all her sisters and brothers kids plus most of my cousins kids... even my freinds my sisters and brothers freinds.. we always had a houseful of kids and noone got treated any different.. it was hard for her but she never gave up.. i respect my mom for that she is a very strong woman and no matter what the problem was she seemed to make things right.. i am myself a single parent and im doing a great ass job at it.. plus i got 2 of my sisters kids due to drugs she couldnt control... its not easy i can say that but at the end of everyday these kids are worth every stress button i got... you dont need a man to make it a home.. we all know are kids deserve better but it doesnt mean we need a man in the house...i have a bf he has 3 kids we dont live together but we are 1 big happy family when we are all together.. its what you make of it.. im pretty sure your daughter is happy with just mom..we are just more independent and gotta work a lil harder it doesnt make us any different then a family with daddy there. im pretty sure alot of woman wish they can stand up and take on responsibilities as we do.. some are to weak and scared even to be without a man.. dont ever feel bad about being a single parent, shit where i live we are the most respected....!

Felicia - posted on 03/28/2012

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I do not like the term single parent, I am a parent. How I came to be a parent is really noone's business, and is only shared by those I wish to share it with. Not because I'm embarrased, but why does it matter? Plus, it's not a unique story-it's the old boy meets girl story....I have a 5 year old son, who has time to trip on old craziness. Anyway, I had a house, three degrees and was mid 30's when I had my child. Yes, it is hard at times; I have had financial adjustments and realizations, but by far, not just true hardship. I take trips, can give my son whatever he needs. However, we are all in the struggle, and we all have different kinds of struggle. Being a PARENT is a lot of hard work. Someone stated earlier that there are stressors as a married parent and stressors as an unmarried parent, and there are pros and cons to each All we can do is deal with the hand we are dealt, and roll with the punches. I agree, at times having a partner, extra income would be great, but at other times, I don't have to worry with anyone else, don't have to consult anyone, that is also great. As I get older, I believe that we get what get when we need it. We have to keep it moving.



I believe that instilling values about responsiblity, love, respect, etc. will help the child regardless if they have the male role model or not. I also believe you provide the models, situations, etc that you want your child to see-it may be an uncle, or some other male. But, just because a child does not have their father in their life does not mean they will have bad relationships or not be there for their future children. Also, I do not beleive that it is the Mom's duty to force a relationship with a father/parent. The absent or noncustodial parent should take responsibility. If the parent is not pressing a relationship, which one should not, there is more than likely a reason why-first of all the parent should not, but she /he knoes the other parent is not a good model for the child. Every child responds to the fact about their absent father differently, we have to know our child. Some kids care, others don't, but they all should understand they are loved and precious regardless and we should do everything in our being to ensure they do not feel they are without. To people, children or whomever says they feel sorry for 'single' parents, I agree, say what you want, ignore, or simply state how grand life is that we have been blessed and chosen to parent this special 'gift.'

Sarah - posted on 03/23/2012

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well im a single mum, and doing the best i can, i always say the people that matter dont mind and the people that mind dont matter, anybody who judges me or gives a stupid opinion then i dont have them in my life. its hard enough doing it alone, never mind being judged by idiots who should learnt o keep their big trap shut

Michelle - posted on 03/14/2012

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I do believe all children need and learn from both female and male positive role models. My son does not have a father but I engourge him to talk to the men in our bible study group and have him spend time with my dad and uncles in the summer. There is that Guy thing all boys need. Just as all girls need to learn how a man should respect her and treat her and that again comes from a healthy relations ship with a male. My niece is 13 see's her dad maybe twice a year my sister does not engourage her to have a relationshiip with him and she doesn't have a positive male role model in her life only time will tell how it will effect her life as an adult. I don't want my child to learn that doing it by ourself is the way it is done. I don't want him thinking he is not needed in his childrens life and none of us want our girls to have to struggle to provide for their children as we had.

Ghada - posted on 03/07/2012

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Being a single mother is a pride not a sin or a state to be pittyed for or feel ashamed about. Actually single mothers are strong enough to raise healthy kids. However, this is our perspective as single mothers. What about the kids' do they need to have the male "Dad" image in their lives, specially girls??

Michelle - posted on 03/06/2012

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You are very wize and strong. Your right being a single parent is not easy. I choose to be a single parent, I wanted a child it may not have been for the best reasons but he's 9 now and when he asked about a Dad I tell him when the time is right we will find one together, but to all honesty I don't want to share him or my time with anyone else. He's mine but I also know that he needs a positive male role model so that he will learn to be a positive male role model for his children.

Audie - posted on 03/06/2012

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So what if your a single mom? in fact single mom are stronger,u can have a man if you like to?I mean God has a purpose for each one of us,you cannot compare between you and her,single mom or married mom..what's the fuss,,being single mom you can have all your time for yourself,,,take care of the kids yes its hard but deal with it with enjoyment,enjoying them while they're young and they cuddle up always to you, then you also have the freedom to do what you want in your life,,You are in control,you don't need to consider these or that...Really it's just equal,the importance is how you raise your kids with values & character,they will long for a father but you have to explain to them carefully why when they mature to know these things.Eventually they will grow up and they will have their own life too!

Kerry - posted on 09/18/2010

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im a single mum of 2 gorgeous little girls my oldest who is 7 to my ex husband who actually just turned out to be a "sperm donor" and my youngest who is 3 was concieved quite early on in the relationship i found out i was pregnant 4 days after us splitting up, by the time i told him he had gone back to his ex to give things another try as he also had 2 children with her! there was no contact between us for the first year as i later found out that the mother of his other 2 children had threatened to stop him seeing them if he was to have contact with us! he got intouch and apologised for not being there for our daughter and we started contact, we did give things another go but it werent meant to be but we are still good friends and he visits regularly and also takes her overnight and is there like a shot for both of my girls when needed! so im a single mum with two different situations there is the donor who does not see my 7 yr old but his parents see her on a weekly basis on the understanding he is not there! he made and broke too many promises to my little girl and is now onto his 3rd wife at 30! and then there is the hands on daddy who although we are not together is there at the drop of a hat and who also takes my older daughter out with my younger one aswell as his other two little girls! i really am proud to be a single mum and feel my heart burst with pride when people actually stop me to pass comment on my girls manners because thats down to my parenting! most of my friends who have the father there full time actually envy me, because in my house its my rules my routine and if something is not done it upto me to do it without all the stupid arguments about whose "turn it is"! id love a man in my life for me, for the hugs and........well you know where im going!! LOL, but as for parenting alone i actually really enjoy it, i find the only really hard part is if u forget to pick up something from the shop and the kids are in bed u r buggered! be proud of yourselves girls for being strong enough to take on this huge responsibility and facing the challenges of parenthood alone, its not something all women can do! i know some women who let there partners away with all kinds due to the fear of raising their children alone when infact its probably harder and more stressful with an overgrown child ;ie the man! theres nothing more id like than to have the "normal" happy family with mum dad 2.4 kids and the dog but thats not how my life has panned upto now and im a stronger more independent woman for it and i will teach my children to be independent too! SO NO IM NOT GOING TO APOLOGISE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM FOR HAVING THE SINGLE MUM STATUS!! there my rant is over.......and breath! lol

Annabeth - posted on 09/17/2010

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Being a single parent is nothing to be sad or sorry for. There are a lot of peope who are raising their kids on ther own. Me included. I left my ex because of a few different realise but mainly because i was scared of him. I still am and i just started a conversation in regards to him. I have a 2 week old son and i love him more then anything. I would like it if he had a father but a lot has happened in the past and i do not want my son anywhere near my ex. I have no problem being a single parent and i know my son is better off without my ex in his life. I think you should be very proud of yourself for raising your daughter on your own. Just ignore what other pople say and just love your daughter as much as you can

Tabitha - posted on 09/15/2010

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this made me feel so much better to read :) like im getting ready to have my son like n e day now, and his father is a complete dead beat loser who doesnt even want to claim him. i have been trying hard not to cry and know everything is gonna be ok...and honestly that just helped me so much!!!!! thanks

India - posted on 09/15/2010

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i dont think it is anything to feel sorry about! my biological mother was single and my adoptive mother (which was my faternal grandmother) was also single (even though) she was married once. i am my daughters mother and father. her dad is alive and i dont know what he has going on with his life and nor do i care to know either! he has my number so if he wants to get in contact with her, he can. but he chooses not to, which is fine by me because when it is all said and done she will be hurt not me. personally i dont think she has a problem with it. i never hear her say his name or cry for him when she is upset. i love the fact that it is just me and my daughter. less money i have to spend on unnecessary extras. plus when we want to go somewhere, all i have to do is get her ready and we're off. we have alot of fun and she gets just as much love and care as any other child that is in a 2 parent home! you shouldnt feel bad because that is how life can be, one day you'll get married and your husband will accept your daughter.

Terri - posted on 09/15/2010

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I agree! I am a single mom (by choice) because I'm not willing to put up with relationship flaws with her father just to say I'm "Mrs. Somebody...." I won't say it doesn't ping a little bit when the neighborhood kids ask my daughter or me, "Why doesn't her daddy live with her?" but then I feel my pride returning when I tell even this nosey little 5 year-old, "Because I don't want to be married, honey." I don't. Life isn't always a pot of honey as a single mom, but her father is involved in her life and provides for her financially which helps me.

I would take every last stress/concern I have being a single mom to the ones that arise from a bad marriage/relationship like some people I know. What an empty life to live it simply to keep up appearances for other people!

Thitu - posted on 09/15/2010

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well here is what i say just because your parents were married when they had you dont mean they planned it or wanted you. single or married a child is a gift and a blessing and we do not hide gifts or feel ashamed of it so flaunt it and praise God

Jennifer - posted on 09/14/2010

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I have been a single Parent for 14+ years!!!!!!!!!! I have 2 of the most wonderful smart, caring daughters. I have raised them to be proud of themselves and to work hard by example.
It has been very hard at times, living paycheck to paycheck,but I gladly do without so they won't.
it's not a sacrifice, it my choice!! They are my world and I love them more than words can describe.
the one missing out is thier biological sperm donor!!! The laughs, hugs,tears, scrapped knees,honor roll, dance recitials, plays, award ceremonies the good and the bad,all that goes with being a mom. There is a stigma that people try to put on any single parent, usually a stay at home mom who's husband works and they take care of the kids, when I can't show up at 10 am
to help with a bake sale, or miss pto meetings because I WORK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont care about them and the circles they have drawn around themselves. My girls love me and that is enough for me to do anything I have to do for them. I love my life and my daughters, It is ALL good!

Rita - posted on 09/13/2010

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I agree with you, being a single parent is difficult, but it is nothing to be sad about

In the culture I live in, it is not acceptable to be a single mum, dating is very difficult and there are no supports for a single mother. A single mum has to work real hard, put in more and not expect to have any concessions.

Although my son's dad has never bother to see him or provide any form of financial support and I am faced with all the challenges of the culture I live in , my son has brought me so much joy that I can't imagine what my life would be now without him

Morgan - posted on 09/10/2010

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Hi! I am a signle mom of my almost 3 month old baby boy. I would rather be a good, happy, positive single mom than be unhappy and a negative mom with his father. Hias father and I never dated and I admit that openly because when people meet him and see his profile I don't want him to reflect badly on me. Towards the beginning of my pregnancy I really wanted us to be together, even though I hardly know him, just so that no one looked down on me; I even at one point bought a fake ring for the same reason.. But now that B's father comes in and out of his life as he pleases, I'm glad that I can say that I am a strong single mother. If his father decideds that he doesn't want to consistently be in my sons life that is PERFECTLY fine for me, I have many male role models for B. to look up to, and they gladly would take his father's place any day!

Mahek - posted on 09/10/2010

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Amazingly put! I am proud mother of my 5yr old daughter and I am proud 2 bring her up as a single parent ! Ok the responsibility may be double....but the luv n attention I get is exclusive n no one interferes in the way I bring her up! Its better 2 have a healthy evironment 2 bring up ur child sinle handedly rather than 2 parents constantly fighting n bickering.

Mikki - posted on 09/09/2010

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True.. Some times one parent can give more less distractions, plus male relatives are alway ready to step in..Being a mom is an impossible task no matter how the family is configured.. Some times no dad is better then one that there but not really.. My son did much better after I figured that out.. keep at it, remember it is worth it..

Robin - posted on 09/09/2010

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OMG!!! I can't stand when people "feel bad" for me or my child. We have a great life! Just because his father isn't involved, I make it a point to make sure he spends time with his other side of the family.

Kellie - posted on 09/09/2010

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im a single mum to my 10mnth old son and i wouldnt change things i love it. i see my m8z that have kids and are coupled and they fight like cat and dog i dont c y kids need 2 be put through that. i was raised along with my little bro and sis by my mum only and we all turned out fine. yer its hard but it makes us stronger women and mothers

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you know what i hate the most...that smile...you know that sympathetic "ohh im so sorry smile" get it all the time when i get on or off the bus with my son

Paige - posted on 09/08/2010

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I am glad to see I'm not the only woman that doesn't see single parenthood as some type of disease I've been afflicted with instead of my blessing!!!

Kat - posted on 09/08/2010

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I'm a single mom of one, and I'm an infinitely better and more accomplished human being because of my son. There's nothing wrong with being a single parent as long as you love and support yourself and your child. We're so inundated with stories of neglectful single parents or are in bad situations that a lot of people don't realize that there are plenty of single parents in the world who are doing great jobs on their own. Sure, it's not easy, but it comes with its advantages too!

Dani - posted on 09/08/2010

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The hardest thing for me is when I have to go up to the school and face the male teachers, who look down thier noses at me and say, it must be hard being a single parent, what male influence does your son have as his behaviour would be better if had a male influence in it as we know it must be hard disciplining him alone, how do you discipline him... Yes its hard because he is a very intelligent lad and the school have never been able to put him in a box, unlike other kids, and yes I do talk to him when disciplining him and smacking him is not an option. He has a very strong male friends influence which I don't discuss with the school because its not their business and my brother adores my son and is his guardian, thankyou... We have come along way as his father abused him and my son has grown up to be a very normal 15 year old who has the attitude that I taught him, respect others as you would respect yourself, violence is not an option, he is not one of lifes victims as he can change the things that he wants to change.This summer he had two jobs which earnt him alot of money, so we opened a bank account, he is training to be an engineer and is very focused and he has sat his GCSE Eng Lit a year early and gained a B, so yes being a single parent is hard work as you are mum and dad, but very very rewarding as I am so proud of his achievements now as I was when he said is first word. So I am proud of the title, Single parent...

Caroline - posted on 09/08/2010

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my dear you do not have to be sorry for being single since you are there for your child it makes you even stronger and look forward to working hard and providing the best for your child neer be sorry about your status rather be proud

Jumana - posted on 09/08/2010

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hi im jumana im a single mum of an 14 year old son
i was divorced ten years ago im taking a good care of my son im so proud of him , i joined the Single parent Association- in Amman - Jordan they helped me & my son to cop withe our community i love my friend there they are my family

Lisa - posted on 09/08/2010

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Oh man Mel I am sorry that happened to you. Some married people can be so crappy. I have a wonderful strong friend a few years older than me who is trying to have her second one as a single mom and I think she does an awesome job.I don't understand why people get so hung up on old models of how things needed to be. Sure in the 1950s you needed 2 parents because most moms didn't work or at least didn't work full time but now you can do it with just one. Its kinda sick that people treat beautiful single moms that way!

Amanda - posted on 09/08/2010

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I agree... I am a single mother of a 16month old baby girl. People always say "I'm sorry" and to that I just smile and say "I'm not, I don't have to share her" and that's it! I love my daughter and our life is full of people who love her and that's all that matters! I cry sometimes because my daughter is going to miss out on a father, but in the end, I know that I am going to do the best I possibly can to make sure that it doesn't hurt her!!! I'm proud of us single moms, we do everything for our kids, and as there are more and more of us, I think that people's outlooks on us are getting more and more positive!

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