Single Parent of two and its hard

Krista - posted on 10/27/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Hi, I'm a single parent of two and I thank god everyday for my parents because without them I would be no where. I don't get any child support and my 6 year old gives me a run for my money. Its tough and sometimes I feel alone and on a routine. I just want a little freedom from just kids and work, or work and kids. Sometimes I don't know what to do or feel but I try to stay strong for them.

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Tiffany - posted on 10/29/2009

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I know exactally how you feel. I am a single mom of three kids. My teenager recently moved in with my mom after some troubles I had with her. I also get no child support from either father. My youngest two are six and four. They both live with me. Just when I thought things could not get worse, I lost my job. Now I'm looking at being homeless with two kids and the fathers act like it is no big deal. I can't go back home to my moms at this point and time since my oldest lives there and because of the problems CPS is involved with us. I'm not sure when fathers think its right to walk out of the kids lives and let us mothers deal with it all. When we are down and out we have to stay strong for the kids. When the fathers are down and out they just do what they please. Its not fair and there should be laws for these type of fathers.

Kirsten - posted on 10/27/2009

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Krista,

I promise it will eventually get better. I have two children and have raised them by myself since my son was 18 mo old. I was pregant for my daughter when I left their father. He has paid a bit of child support but it has never been enough. Their father has not seen the kids in 14 years. My daughter just turned 14. It will be 14 years this coming December 28th. We have had our ups and downs, but I say a prayer and for some reasone God has always looked out for us. We lived at my parents for more than a year and them moved into my grandmothers house so we are very lucky to not have to pay any rent. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. There are always programs to help with food, clothing, cars and such. Friends and family are usually pretty helpful when it comes to doing things such as repairs and things. My kids and I have become very self sufficient and we are all pretty handy. You will find that when there is no man around you learn to do things on your own. As far as needing time away, you may ask an aunt, or your best friend to watch them for a couple of hours so you can just get away. I remember when my kids were your age and the need for adult conversation was overwhelming. As they grow that need will suffice. I promise it will get better with time. I have now found that I could pretty much care less if there was a man around. I had one for about six years and I found that I get more done on my own than with him here. Keep your chin up! It will go by fast! Soon they will be spending the night at friends houses and you will miss them. Your daughter will get first boyfriend and you spend all your time worrying about her. They will become teenagers before you know it and you will want them back they way they were... sitting on your lap and reading books and making cookies. They won't be this way forever. Enjoy they time you are having with your little ones because it won't be long and they with be asking for the car keys and leaving you at home. Best of luck! Kirsten Mitchell

Mindy - posted on 10/27/2009

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You should take kids father to court. But while you are waiting on that use your parents and leave them with them and just go out for an hour or so.

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Krista - posted on 10/31/2009

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Well you to a situation and found awake to make it better and that is awesome. Your on the right track and life will get easier. Im still trying to find money solutions but always have a snag in the idea

Cori - posted on 10/30/2009

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I also struggle with this everyday! I'm a single mom, full time student, part time employee and completing the practicum requirements for my degree. If I hadn't gone back to school, I don't know how we would have made it. The loans are SO helpful and they don't count as income. At least, not in the states, so we qualified for assistance we couldn't get when I was working full time plus. Things have always seemed to work themselves out, although that doesn't keep me from freaking out.... I just have to be thankful for what I have and know that things will get better. Best of luck!

J** - posted on 10/30/2009

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You are definately not alone. I am there with ya. I would have to tell you though that you have to stay strong for the kids. That is all there is too it. You can still have a life and friends outside of it all. If you can't find help with someone to watch them, then look for people in your area interested in playdates. You have adult time with mommies and the kids have fun and play.

Brandi - posted on 10/30/2009

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Honey, one day all that you do will be worth all the pain and heartache you are going through. I have three kids and even though their dad helps out it is never enough, I have to wonder sometimes how I am going to feed them at the end of the month. continue to pray and love your parents for being there. My kids are aware of what I go through for them and now that they are older they appreciate it. You are not alone in this.

Roni - posted on 10/29/2009

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Just hang in there, it will get better. I am a single working mother of two boys and I go to school as well. I just keep my head up and pray.

Krista - posted on 10/28/2009

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I do ask my parents but I feel bad for asking because they my mom almost needs a break as much as I do and she didn't even give birth to them. She watches them when I'm at work or when I have appointment from my car accidents and helps clean the house when I can't do it. She even open her house to use again but your right I have to be strong and I am but inside I'm not just the outside. My biggest weakness is trying to help others then help myself and trust me it only makes things worst but I pray to god he will see the goodness I do and maybe some luck will come my way.



I thought I found a good man and married him last year but he was just another stupid man not to say all of them are though just with my track record he fit right in. So, I wasn't doing it again having another child just to be alone but the main thing is the kids are happy and I'm getting there to and trying hard to make no more stupid choices because the kids are innocent and don't deserve anything but the best that I can give them.



Its nice to talk to people that can relate :)

Shay - posted on 10/28/2009

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I also have a six year old and a two year old. Im single and dont get any child support either. Man, I know how hard it is! There are good days along w/ the bad all u can do is keep going and be strong for those lil ones. Try to go out w/ friends once a week if your parents will watch the kids so u can have a lil adult time

Krista - posted on 10/28/2009

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I live in Ontario and don't think we have that support for single parents. So, in turn I work over-time but it helps in the short run not the long run because it kills me on tax season. I do know how precious they are but most men get the easy end of it all. Don't get me grow majority of the time I love life but just gets frustrating sometimes. Thank you everyone one for your support and its great really great to know I'm alone. My daughters father is just starting to step up to the plate not financially but he wants to be there for her. He saw her for the first time last Sunday and it was great and the feelings I had when we were together came back and I hope it doesn't kick me. I just want happiness :)

Sandra - posted on 10/28/2009

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you are intitled to a parent supplement called (single parents allowance).go to your social welfare and demand that you want this and appeal it.

Alana - posted on 10/28/2009

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I'm a single mom with an almost 4 year old and a 6 year old. I recently moved into a trailer on my mom and dads property and I tell you i dont know how I have made it this far without them! They help me so much! I get very sick and have multiple surgerys a year and on top of that I work when I am able enough, as a CNA at a nursing home so I know exactly what your dealing with and I get little child support if any, $100 does nothing for 2 children. Be strong :)

Krystal - posted on 10/27/2009

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Find some YOU TIME...find someone that'll watch the kids...and go out with some friends, enjoy yourself...I'm a mother two myself, and sometimes you just need to have some fun on your own...don't feel guilty about it....a relaxed Mommy is a better Mother to her kids...go have some fun =) Good Luck and Best of Wishes~Krystal

Jennifer - posted on 10/27/2009

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I completely understand your situation about school being enough. I have a daughter with type 1 diabetes and not to many people want to deal with that. I felt alone for along time util I came in contact with a couple that has a son with type 1. We became great friends. Sometimes we need to take that risk for sanity sake. I wish you the best and hope you find some balance. Oh by the way.. What State do you live in? Here in New York there is help for people who work and have children. Don't ever be to proud to ask for help. If you work your taxes are paying for the help you would get. You can get a Subsidy for daycare expenses where they go by your income. Your Mom can also get paid for watching her grandkids. Well I have to go to sleep. I need to get up in the morning for work.. Stay positive and strong. Jennifer

Krista - posted on 10/27/2009

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I agree with you that is for sure but they have immune defiency disorder so school is plenty I don't put them in daycare for that reason. I did get the past weekend a way for work it occurs once a year and get that to look forward to that but to ask my mom I try not to because she has them alot and she needs a break to lol With these two kids no one kids a break but thank god my son is more calm then my daughter

Krista - posted on 10/27/2009

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I have taken their fathers to court but getting the child support is another thing. One father is all about his needs and the other one is trying now but my mom is good and its just nice to find people to share the things that now one wants to listen because they can't relate or try. My bestfriend she is great and is good help to.

Krista - posted on 10/27/2009

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The question is that you really never know what the right thing is. All i do is try my best and I have moved out of my parents a few times but in the end of it all end up back with my parents which it makes life easier but I never feel like I get to make the choices for them always someone judging. My problem is i think I make the right choices and it always goes bad but the kids are happy they want for nothing either. I work full-time as well and for a while I was working 140 hours every two weeks to make ends meet by myself but I missed the kids. Its nice to know that others are out there similar to my situation.

Jennifer - posted on 10/27/2009

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Krista, I know how you feel. I have 4 Children and also raise them on my own. Although my oldest son is twenty, he is never around. He has his own life to live. I guess we as Mom's always put ourselves last. The same thing over and over get's redundant and if you don't take some time out for yourself your going to get worn out and sick. Maybe if you joined the YMCA it would help with the everyday stresses of work and kids...It is great for when you are down or overwelmed with things... The Treadmill is a great way to walk those issues off. Well I hope and Pray that you find a solution. Plus you can always count on Jesus to help you through a tough day...God bless. Jennifer

User - posted on 10/27/2009

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I am a single Mom of a six year old boy whom also gives me a run for my health. I get a little child support but the father is completely absent from the picture since the day I told him I was pregnant. I kind of like it that way now and my son is not suffering without his father present.I too live with my parents and if it wasn't for them I would be homeless. It's hard being Mom and Dad. There are good days and bad with it of course. I work a full time job and run the family farm and raise my son which is a full time job in itself. I enjoy going to work, it's my time away and my sanity. My only advice: Do the next right thing...................

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