Single working moms

Tjuana - posted on 11/07/2011

I am finding it hard and becoming depressed on what to do... I started working a job during days and without notice they transferred me to overnights. It was hard during the days working so many hours but easier to find daycare during the day. My mother helps out when she can over nights but when she can't im stuck in a bind. I have so far missed 5 days and tomorrow waiting to see if they will allow me to come back to work. I can't deny it and say not unless they return me to days because I will forfeit my unemployment by doing so. I just dont know what to do at this point. I have to choose between my job and my kids. My kids win but....

Jackie - posted on 12/07/2010

This is tricky....not going to lie...I am a full time shift work nurse. My family is unable to help, I had to hire a nanny, which costs a pretty penny and makes me wonder why I even work sometimes. On the other hand, i do find it a break sometimes just to have some adult conversation. Fortunately I am unionized and have been working at the hospital long enough that my bosses are pretty compassionate and understanding of my situation. I still find it difficult and my boy is almost 18 months. Its like having 2 full time jobs and no time for a life. As time has gone on though, I AM fining it easier to deal with the juggling act, and BELIEVE ME IT IS!!! Not sure this will help, but I sure get the struggles and I think its great when single mom's can come together and support one another. Many have NO IDEA just how hard it is.

Becca - posted on 12/07/2010

I am a predicament like you. I have 1 child who is in elementary school and I can only work certain hours and child care is basically null and void. I have benefits that keep us living on the skinny but would like more for my daughter.
I have found that in a past job I had, 40 hrs/wk., when my husband was still around even, I took MY time off to care for our child when she was sick and I ended up fired.
After being fired I questioned the ethics of their human resources dept. and took it up with the state... turns out that they should have offered the family leave act, etc.
It's esp. tough now without any help, so if you hear from someone, Melissa, please update!!!!
From one single Mom to another! Much luck to you and lots of love to you and yours!

Lisa - posted on 11/25/2010

I am a single mother of one. I have always put my child first and always will. If there are places that are denying you work, then leave it be. You willl find someone eiwth a heart and understanding for your situation. I have not had help from family the majority of my son's life. Until he was at an age to attend school, I was the daycare and for many other mothers I was their daycare. It is iwhat you create. The community centers and Boys & Girls Clubs are wonderful. Your hours have to be day shift to accomodate those. Your children need you at home at night.



I won't promise you this is an easy road, nor with I promise you that it does not take preserverence to make this work. It can be done, hang in there and sometimes things like housework have to wait in order to get the children what is needed, your career the attention it must have, and your own personal sanity. Keep reaching out for support. You will find it I promise, usually from the most unlikely sources.

Brenda - posted on 11/24/2010

I am a single working mom, and I divide my Professional life with my Motherhood life, cause they are both totally different, I have no family help, but a great bbsitter (for emergencies) and a great reliable daycare, when it comes to applications, I put available at any times, I mean you cannot mix your profesional life with your regular life, and if you want the job and need it, trust me you will find ways to make it work, I have never mention my kids at any job interview (cause thats is just not their bussiens and is illegal for them to ask this), and people gets surprised when I say I have a child,lol and if it happends for them to know that you have a child, this can make you look more responsible, and more capable of keeping the job and working your way up on it, not just for you but for your kids, I mean single non mom girls, can easily quit and find better jobs with no worries, not like us that need a stable income.

Nickole - posted on 11/24/2010

I am a single mom and I work full time...I don't have any help....I live to far away from my family...I just take him to daycare and go to work and then pick him up afterwards....Its not easy to do it all but...Its all worth it for my baby boy!

Danielle - posted on 11/24/2010

im a single mom to a 6 month old. i work full time and im trying to get back into college. my mom and step father are the only babysitters i currently trust. they watch him four to five times a week. ive had the same job for three years now, so they work with my scheduling. i plan my hours around my moms schedule. she gets out at 430 and im at work for 5. once you find a reliable and trust-worthy babysitter, working gets a whole lot easier.

Jennifer - posted on 11/20/2010

also some hospitals also have daycare centers for hospital staffs children

Melissa - posted on 11/18/2010

I plan on going back to school in the spring and pursue nursing. My kids are epileptic also. My 9yr old goes to school ofcourse, and my 4yr old son goes to a state funded daycare for disabled kids. He goes from 8-5. The open at 7 though, and starts the van routes at 530am. I live right down the road from the daycare so they pick up my son at the last minute(845am) before breakfast starts at 9am. Theres not many jobs around here(AR) that has 8-5, off on weekends unless you work at a bank or an office. My mom could help a little, but she works from 7-3 but is married to a control freak so that sums that up. My mom is also not really used to being around my kids, as I was overseas for 4 yrs, and in another town for another 3yrs.

Autumn - posted on 11/18/2010

Hey there I am a single mom a a 20 month old. I get a little bit of help from family when i have to work nights and weekends. But I also have my son in daycare and am able to receive help from the state every so often to help me pay for it. it is hard to juggle so many things. I get asked alot how to you do it? I dont just juggle being a single mom Im employed full time and study at one of the local colleges. Trust me it is hard to juggle it all but if you have family that is willing to help ask them. I know u said he cant go over there. But can they come to you?

Klarissa - posted on 11/18/2010

Melissa,
i am a single mom of a 9 month old and I work full time and I have help from family, and as far as when you fill out the job applications I would say anytime on the job applications but I would also look into and see what programs that your state has that will be able to help you in regards to day care and also look into different type of temp agencies for jobs, have a great day and i hope that this helps

Jennifer - posted on 11/18/2010

I have been a single mom for 13 years first if you cant afford day care talk to your state and most of the states have a suplement program for day care where they pay it and when you get a job they make you pay a copay . and if you go to church maybe there are people there that would be willing to help you out with the child care if they are school age talk to other moms that is how i have always done it . also when going on an interview never mention your children or that you are a single mom and only put on applications the hours you are able to work and find day care . because if you don't you will always worry about the kids . but if it is a safe place for them and the kids enjoy it believe me they get use to the hours you work if they are school age find an after school program most ymcas have one where the kids can stay til 6 and that way you can work from 9am-5pm and still get to the kids on time and some of the private schools have before and after care . got to love school and day care and after school programs . alot pf the daycare centers also do after school and before school programs and take state funded daycare payments if you get hired for the job and you start working that is when you let them know you are a single mom and these are set hours but not during the interview . i find this is always the way i get even looked at for my abilities and not for the fact i am a single mom