Vanessa - posted on 09/13/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )
Ok - I'm frustrated and fed up with reading statements like "should I let my babies dad have anything to do with him? He's a unemployed loser"
How many times do you have to be told, you don't really have a choice. It's like you hold all the cards - well you know what - you don't. Courts do.
Once bubby has a dad on the birth certificate, you have to always do what's in the best interests of the child - and as any court will see it, this is having TWO parents somewhat involved. Just because he sits on his arse and plays PS3 during his visits is no reason to take away the visits all together. If you have issues with his lifestyle or anything like that - you can't simply deny him visitation with his child - go through mediation or the legal avenues. Don't you girls get it?? It's not up to you to offer him "supervised visitation" or anything like that --- that is a legal descision.
This is why so many of you girls get taken to court for more visitation for the dads, because you think you hold all the cards ie. the child. courts don't view this favourably - you need proof and lots of it if you view him to be an unstable person.
Now i'm not saying that all dads should have access to their kids - but think about it - it's not your place to be taking away their access, it's the laws. What looks better in court? A mum who has gone through mediation and worked with her ex to try to come up with a mutually agreeable outcome for the bub? or a mother who's turned around and said "he's an arsehole who cheated on me with my best friend and I don't trust him around my baby so I said he can't see him anymore"