Still living with your parents?

Rachel - posted on 04/13/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I'm 19 and a single mother, obviously. I still live with my parents because I am way too broke to live on my own with my daughter. Does anyone else still live with their parents? Do you find it difficult? I love having them around for support and its financially the best option I have, but sometimes I'm sick of living under their roof. I am stuck between being their child, and my daughter's mother. Any advice on how to deal?

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Amie - posted on 07/09/2012

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I'm 24, single mom never married. I have no job due to had to quit to take care of my baby boy. And I lost my apartment that I worked for and had to move back with my parents. I never wanted to move back but I had to. As everyone else says it is nice not to worry about so many bills on top of stress of a baby and all. But how do you cope with not having anything but your son. Some days I just dont know what to do with myself, I get no free time or alone time. And then when I am alone its just me and my son doing nothing... I wish my son could talk then maybe my days wouldnt be so bad. But my parents like to make me feel worthless and I do laundry and clean the house for them and anythign I can. I buy the gorcerys. I dont feel appreciated, and when my parents get come I go downstairs with my son so they can relax and eat. And I see it everyday everyone else around me, moving out and starting their life but me. I can have days to get away and be happy for a few but then I come right back home to my lame lousy life. Try to deal with this.

Nicole - posted on 04/13/2010

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Well I don't live with my parents, but I can offer a little support. I have recently finished a paper on the difference of children growing up in single parent homes, two parent homes, and multigenerational homes. A multigenerational home is when a child lives with his or her biological mother and at least one grandparent. The study found children in single parent homes, otherwise living with only one parent, fared the worst in that they were the least likely to finish high school and to attend college, the most likely to engage in earlier premarital sex, smoking, and drinking. BUT the children in multigenerational (and the mother was never married) tended to have the same outcomes, if not BETTER in regards to finishing high school, attending college, and waiting for sexual activity as the children in two parent homes.

Just a little encouragement... And just to say, studies are never definitive. :-) Hang in there!

Stephanie - posted on 10/14/2012

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im 27 and in the same boat my sons 5 now. have a friend thats a single mom too and we want to get a place together and im still trying to figure out how to tell them without looking like the bad guy.

Amanda - posted on 04/15/2010

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I'm a 19 year old single mom of two. im still stuck at home with my mom. i know what you mean with being stuck between child and parent. it's frusterating. im trying to get out but as you know im sure, its not easy. what makes it harder for me is my mom wants things her way all the time. the way her house is set up even makes it hard on me with a toddler who likes to get into everything. she likes the house completely cleaned by the time she gets home at 1:30 where as my way is maitaence though out the day(not a mess just not as spotless as she likes it) and then do a full clean when they're in bed. (wash floors, run dish washer, wash pots and pans, ect) then you add the fact that they freak out if they see her, then she trys to leave to get away from kids for a bit. so im either stuck being guilt tripped because she can't leave the room or dealing with two screaming children cause Grandmas gone... i can't have people over because that would mean shes "banished to her room"... it drives me half nuts.. but the support is great. having an extra hand is wonderful.



i just try and keep reminding myself of how much shes doing and how hard it must be for her. she was almost done raising her kids and now i have two in her house. it makes me feel guilty.. but it makes it a bit easier to deal with her. though yeah.. somethimes it drives me crazy.

Jena - posted on 04/13/2010

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I'm 19 living at home still with my six month old. It is really good financially and supportwise. Sometimes it gets difficult because they still try to treat I'm a kid or give me outdated advice about raising my son like CIO. I usually just try to get out of the house and go for a walk with my son or something. I also love that my son's around his Grandpa and uncle a lot because his dad is uninvolved. I'm taking a developmental psychology class and it did say the same thing that Nicole said about living multigenerationally gets rid of most of the risks of being a single parent. :]

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NYC - posted on 01/28/2014

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that aint nothing iam 31 yrs old living with my parents..Because the price of rent in NYC is so high..I got to sneak my girlfriend over every week for some late night action..Iam not allowed to have females come over..My life is so lame..

Lisa D - posted on 01/03/2013

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When my husband and I split up I moved back home temporarily for a year with my dad. I stayed in a bedroom with my kids. Geez this was over 20 yrs ago and I paid him 600 dollars a month rent. Thinking back on it I wonder if it was actually worth it. :X

Christa - posted on 04/16/2010

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Hi Rachel, I am a divorce single parent. I move back in with my parents when my son was 9 months old( he is six now). I know how you feel. I am so glad they let me move back in. Sometime it is very hard on me. It is nice because they can watch my son until I get home from work. He goes to school where they teach at so they take him to and from school. I know how you feel. You hang in there. You are lucky that you got parents you can live with.

CLARISSA - posted on 04/15/2010

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I'm 24 and living at home with my three month old daughter. I wanted to move out around the same time I found out I was pregnant. So, instead of moving out, I took the money I save up and stocked up on pampers, wipes, and other necessities that I knew she would need. Even though it's hard, having my mother around is a HUGE help! She not only provides financial support for both of us, she also gives me time to myself; by taking Ambrosia for a couple of hours. I don't consider this arrangement long term, but it is really helpful know.

Jayne - posted on 04/15/2010

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make your mum more of a friend than a parent and it works. i love that im living with my parents :) its a huge huge help and i'm glad my daughter gets some male figures in her life (her pop and uncle)

i treat a place in their house as a privilege and mum doesnt interfere with how i raise my daughter

Mariama - posted on 04/14/2010

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i am in the same boat 2 Rachel,i am 25 years old living with my family, my son is almost 6 months old but i find it really hard sometimes. well, i am also planning to move out on my own because i have been living on my own since i was 18 years old and i just came back to my family house when thing were not going right for me but it is difficult sometime living with family.

Angela - posted on 04/14/2010

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I am almost 30 and live with my mother. My husband left me when my daughter was 4 months old. I know exactly how you feel when it comes to being under their roof. I have two kids and am trying to finish school so i can get a decent job im hoping. I am here if you ever need to talk. Its hard to cope sometimes when you feel you have no privacy.

Sarah - posted on 04/14/2010

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I live with my mom after my then BF told me he (supposedly) loved me very much but did not want to 'settle down.' I do not regret it one bit as Illusia did not need to see her mom being treated the way I was and Illusia's grandma loves having her here with her.

It is very hard sometimes, esp when I hear of happy couples and wonder if I will EVER find someone again and be able to give my daughter that. And it really hurts sometimes to think about but I try and appreciate what I do have.

Tracy - posted on 04/13/2010

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I am 24 an have two boys...I live with my parents..I dont make enough to move out and I am going to school full time right now..I am waiting till done with school and get a good job before moving out. It is difficult sometimes but I remind them they are my kids and I can tell them what they can do or can't do. My oldest is Grandpa's boy so he stays with Grandpa when home so I just have my lil one. It can be nice sometims.

Barbara - posted on 04/13/2010

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Yes! BUT, thankfully, Im actually going to sign a lease for an apartment tomorrow.. because until recently, I too was unable to be on my own financially. My son is 2 and a half now, so its been a loooooong road to get to where we are, but your day will come as well! Just know that for right now, you are providing for your daughter in the best possible way you can, and realizing that in itself says a LOT. I moved back in when my son was only about a month old, because the boyfriend I had was not quite as ready as he thought [not my sons father.] It was hard, but my parents have been very helpful as a support system. Just smile and feel grateful that we have the good parents that we do, ladies, because not everyone's would be as willing!

Jessica - posted on 04/13/2010

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I am 27 years old and due to circumstances with my life I had to move back in with my parents. I don't regret it, but times are tough!!! It is difficult at times but I feel it was the best move.

Deanna - posted on 04/13/2010

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I am 29 years old and am back living with my parents and my 17 month old. I was out on my own (well with my child's father) for 5 years. My daughter and I moved in with my parents when she was only 3 months old. I totally agree that its great for support and financially it might be the only option. It is very difficult even at 29 because you still are someone's daughter, but also someone's mom. Sometimes its hard to navigate the roles. You have to try and find time for just you when you can and for you and your child. Take outings just the two of you to give your family some space as well as the two of you. I do think its positive for our children to grow up with their grandparents because the more people around them to love and support them, the better off I believe they will be. I think its most important to have open communication and talk to your parents when things are not working and ask them to do the same with you. This way there is a give and take between both of you. I would imagine it is just as hard for them to adjust as it is for us. If you can, see about getting a counselor so you have an outlet to go and talk when things get frustrating and also its another person who can give you advice on how to handle different situations. Good luck!

Imogen Hallam - posted on 04/13/2010

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im in the same boat Rachel im 25 with a seven year ols son i live with my mum its hard i feel the same way you do 24/7 its a hard one i know through exsperieance :O(

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