Sarah - posted on 09/24/2012 ( 90 moms have responded )
As you can see, this is my first post and one which I didn't want to write but I just need some advice from real people out there - simple searches on the internet seem to suggest I shouldn't be worried but i would like to know if anyone out there has experienced the same thing I am experiencing.
Backround: I'm a 36 year old single mother and my son is 18. As you can see, I had him at a young age and his father didn't wan't anything to do with him. I raised him the best way I could and I feel like I did a good job. Apart from the typical "boys will be boys" behaviour throughout his early teens, he has turned out well, does well in school, involved in sports etc. Even though he hasn't really had a stable father figure around. There was an incident with pot but it was over quickly and it didnt appear to be a big deal.
Situation: A few months back, I came home from work late and as ususal, I kicked my heels off and went straight to bed knowing that my son was probably already asleep (it was 11pm) or playing on the ex-box. I came down 10 minutes later for some water and I stopped at the bottom of the stairs as I saw him in the lounge. I saw my son with my high heeled shoes. He was sniffing and licking the insides of the high heeled stiletto shoes I had worn that day and was obvioulsy masturbating. I was so shocked and ashamed and I just quietly went back upstairs still in shocked. I just didn't know what to say.
I never mentioned anything the next day and haven't brought it up since. He didn't know I was there seeing him through the gap in the door. Since that time, I have noticed (I'm sure it happned before but I never noticed) that he has been in my wardrobe and has intefered with my other pairs of high heeled shoes as they obvioulsy have been touched or moved around. This has been a regular occurence and I notice out of the corner of my eyes that if I'm wearing high heels, he will catch a glimse of them and stare whilst Im wearing them.
I just do not know what to think. I have so many many things going around in my mind and I just do not know who or what to turn to. Do I approach him and ask him why he does this? Shall I buy him a a pair of his own high heels? Do I shout at him and tell him to stop and deny him access to my high heels? I just do not know what to do. Am I worrying over nothing??
I appreicate any honest advice you can give me. Have any of you mothers out there expereinced this? I know this is a delicate subject and please feel free to message me in private (does this site have that facility??) if you want to mention anything.
Also as a single mom, are their any other single moms out there that have noticed some type of behaviour like this in their sons? Gosh I'm all over the place. Am I to blame for this. Would you suggest getting a male friend like a teacher or family member to chat to him about it?