Teenage Son with High Heels Fetish?

Sarah - posted on 09/24/2012 ( 77 moms have responded )

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As you can see, this is my first post and one which I didn't want to write but I just need some advice from real people out there - simple searches on the internet seem to suggest I shouldn't be worried but i would like to know if anyone out there has experienced the same thing I am experiencing.



Backround: I'm a 36 year old single mother and my son is 18. As you can see, I had him at a young age and his father didn't wan't anything to do with him. I raised him the best way I could and I feel like I did a good job. Apart from the typical "boys will be boys" behaviour throughout his early teens, he has turned out well, does well in school, involved in sports etc. Even though he hasn't really had a stable father figure around. There was an incident with pot but it was over quickly and it didnt appear to be a big deal.



Situation: A few months back, I came home from work late and as ususal, I kicked my heels off and went straight to bed knowing that my son was probably already asleep (it was 11pm) or playing on the ex-box. I came down 10 minutes later for some water and I stopped at the bottom of the stairs as I saw him in the lounge. I saw my son with my high heeled shoes. He was sniffing and licking the insides of the high heeled stiletto shoes I had worn that day and was obvioulsy masturbating. I was so shocked and ashamed and I just quietly went back upstairs still in shocked. I just didn't know what to say.



I never mentioned anything the next day and haven't brought it up since. He didn't know I was there seeing him through the gap in the door. Since that time, I have noticed (I'm sure it happned before but I never noticed) that he has been in my wardrobe and has intefered with my other pairs of high heeled shoes as they obvioulsy have been touched or moved around. This has been a regular occurence and I notice out of the corner of my eyes that if I'm wearing high heels, he will catch a glimse of them and stare whilst Im wearing them.



I just do not know what to think. I have so many many things going around in my mind and I just do not know who or what to turn to. Do I approach him and ask him why he does this? Shall I buy him a a pair of his own high heels? Do I shout at him and tell him to stop and deny him access to my high heels? I just do not know what to do. Am I worrying over nothing??



I appreicate any honest advice you can give me. Have any of you mothers out there expereinced this? I know this is a delicate subject and please feel free to message me in private (does this site have that facility??) if you want to mention anything.

Also as a single mom, are their any other single moms out there that have noticed some type of behaviour like this in their sons? Gosh I'm all over the place. Am I to blame for this. Would you suggest getting a male friend like a teacher or family member to chat to him about it?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 10/26/2013

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as an update after a year, this is what has happened. in short, he continues to masturabte into my high heeled shoes but does not wear them. i have decided to allow him to continue doing this and have given him my shoes when theyare freshly worn. we have spoken and his fetish is purely that, smelling and licking the insides of my high heels after i have worn them all day.

i have made peace with that fact and no longer feel threatened. i have come to enjoy his fetish and it has brought us closer.

Suzi - posted on 09/07/2013

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So long as he's not doing anything unsanitary with your shoes - or any item of your clothing - I wouldn't worry.

As others will have told you a transvestism fetish is not a sign of homosexuality - they're different phenomena entirely. And transvestism in itself is in no way harmful or wrong. Although let's hope he never tries to go to school wearing girls' shoes (imagine a man's feet trying to get into them!) or any girls' clothes for that matter.

Don't confront him with your disapproval - actually, instead, why not try buying him a rather dull pair of (large sized) ladies' knickers, leave it in his room with a note attached saying, "if I'm not mistaken, this is what you're into now/" - and watch the reaction!!

(PS: that's British for "panties")

[deleted account]

Oh NO.... never think that BLAME is involved here!!! I also have an 18 year old son. Personally (not trying to be insensitive) I'd rather he be into my heels than running about having sex with Lord knows who and having 800 "baby momma's" coming to the door and pointing their fingers at my boy. (which isn't happening, I think he's a monk in training, but you know what I mean)



What type of relationship do you have with your son? Can you two talk about anything and everything under the sun? If you do, then by all means, approach him. As long as the two of you have a comfortable relationship with one another, he should open up to you. Please don't give him the indication that his behavior is WRONG. It's not criminal, it's psychological. When you put a label on a psych issue, it causes all sorts of issues. Try to keep it between the two of you for now. To bring another into it that he ISN'T comfortable with can also backfire. It's not a school issue, it's not a family issue, it's a he issue.



Personally, if it were my son, I'd sit him down and just calmly discuss what I saw. Do NOT tell him it's abnormal, or wrong, or anything like that, because he's not DOING anything wrong. Just tell him what you saw, and offer to buy him his own heels. I can see how it would make you uncomfortable to think that he's fetishing with your shoes. Don't offer him counselling or anything to "change" his behaviour unless he SPECIFICALLY SAYS HIMSELF that he wants to stop.



Try to think of a fetish as a........craving. Like during pregnancy. Better yet, like an addiction, but a safe one, like chocolate during stress. Maybe you can find someone in your community like a doctor or a counsellor to help you understand your son's fetish. BUT THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND NEVER THINK IT IS.



I don't know if this helps at all. I hope it does.

Stanley - posted on 07/03/2013

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Hello,and I can give you what I experienced.I have the same problem,but wearing them I also love the smell of leather.I started around 8 and don't know why,I still don't know why and I am 68.If you ask him he does not know why either.This is imprinted into his brain somewhere.Where it came from who knows.Trust me this urge is very strong,and if you take the her;s away,he will just go out and buy his own,and resent you for it.He is not the only one,there are a million plus with the same love or fetish for women's shoes.You are just going to have to find some way to get over it.I have been to counseling and the whole works.Never did help.You might want to think about this and I mean it.Number one,he is at home,2 he is not hurting anyone,3he is not out screwing some one with aids.4 he is young and at his sexual peak.5 is it safe.He is not out drinking,he is at home doing what he likes to do.If he knows you accept it he will love you more for it.You don't have to like it.Just accept it and go on.You don't have to talk about it because he is are will be very embarrassed.My Parents never knew,but my X wives did.I live alone divorced 3 times.Not because of that,all my wives went out on me.Today I get all my heels from Italy hand made in real leather.And love them.I live alone and go out in jeans and heels all the time.And I do love the aroma of the leather smell.And they are all 6in heels and not platforms.I also dress and keep my toenails always painted.I am just telling you about reality.I original came from St.Louis raised catholic thought I was the only one who did this.I live in california now and find out there are hundreds of thousands of people just like me.I suggest you google men in heels,or shoe fetish,and just do a little research.I hope i helped,and if you want to email please do so.I don't know if you can do this on this site so I am not going to include it here.But I will write another post right after this and ask.Hope I helped....

Tony - posted on 12/17/2012

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Sorry if I should break any rules by participating as a male and remaining anonymous. I am 50, happily married, have a grown-up daughter and happened to stumble across your posting.

Reason I am answering: I have the same fetish as your son and would like to reassure you to remain cool. I did simliar things with my mother's shoes. It does not have the slightest thing to do with a physical interest in the mother - it is the shoes!
It is very simple: Some men get actually aroused by looking at and/or wearing high heels themselves. Best explanation I have found so far: High heels accentuate female attributes and put the foot in the same position that it has during orgasm. So yes, for many men, high heels ARE very sexy. Wearing high heels thightens some muscles in erogenous zones, which is arousing. That's why some men get turned on by wearing heels themselves (you will find many forums on the Internet about this subject).
Bottom line: This has nothing to do with the lack of a father or mistakes on your behalf. (The only mistake you have made is that you have misspelled the game "Ex-Box"... it should be "X-Box" :-)
You can either make a huge story out of this and feed money to "specialists" till the cows come home.
OR you follow a suggestion given here: Bring it to the light of the day, help your son to get his own high-heels and encourage him to find a tolerant girl-friend who can accept him the way he his. The object itself (the shoes) can simply be a replacement for the actual thing he desires - a girl... with high heels :-)
I suggest the following:
Approach your son with a smile, tell him that you got the impression that he is interested in high heels. Keep it very light, jokingly. Do not make him wrong, don't blame him. Accept what he says. If you give him a safe space to talk he may volunteer his misdeeds after some time. But don't push for it.
But you should tell him that you do not like the idea of him taking your shoes and that you would like a solution. Suggest that he should maybe have his own or find a girl-friend who likes high heels. Ask him what he thinks about this and maybe help him, if he wants to.

BTW: A love for high heels does NOT in anyway imply homosexuality. These are separate things, even if most women have a terribly hard time getting this in their heads. I do not mean to imply here that homosexuality would be something that needs "curing". I just want to point out that these are unrelated subjects and that women should not panic because their BF or hubby likes heels.

Wish you good luck. And honestly, your son may be special, but nothing to worry about. The more secrecy and the more blame you allow in the game, the worse the outcome will be. If you keep it light and free and respect him the way he is, it will not be a big issue in his life. And don't try to "cure" him unless he himself strongly desires so. (I would not know how to "cure" a passion for something, and I could not bother less :-)

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Ronnierae - posted on 08/31/2014

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hi the only relationship a male has from the time of birth to puberty, is his mother. this is one reason males gravitate to their mother, and females gravitate to their fathers. to find that there is love there also, is not surprising. depending on their actual age, a low level of talk should take place, with absolutely no brow beating, or condemning accusations. it's best done with only one parent, and with the assurance, that it will never be used against them, and it would be their secret. to know how to proceed in addressing the situation, you have to know. or at least try to understand it, from their point of view.

Thomas M. - posted on 08/22/2014

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Hello Sarah, The answer you are looking for is probably pretty simple. When your son was born he recognized you by your scent (smell) and that scent brought him security and pleasure. Your shoes have that same smell that gives him security. If I were you I would give him my old shoes and explain to him in a way as not to make him feel embarrassed or belittled. and wear the ones you gave him every now and then to refresh them. He will respect you and love you for doing this later. Good luck and God bless T M E.

[deleted account]

sarah, my son is 15, and he had a pronounced foot fetish from about 12. i am 36, and i also have a foot fetish.
my son started sneaking around with his older sisters heels and as i knew what was going on, i had no problem with that. there came a time when my daughter complained to her mum that my son had been touching her shoes and they were damp when she put them on, and boy, did things explode.
my wife couldnt understand how a brother could find his sister arousing, and i found it hard to comprehend myself. i guess this is like a boy finding his mother attractive.
i had the most difficult talk of my life, because i understand what his body was telling him, but i had to explain that pheremones play a role in this, and although his sister might be ok, there was a much more perfect match waiting for him. i also explained that it was not polite to use a persons belongings and leave them in a messy state.
i cant blame him, i love my wifes feet and i love to smell her shoes too, and when she feels like it, i love to dampen her heels too.
i explained to my daughter that boys and hormones led to many strange things, and i had to explain to her how he had left a mess in her heels, and she accepted this with no argument, and after i had explained how i was the same, i think she left thinking there was a little more to me than meets the eye. er feet
my wife wanted a morotorium on public footwear, but i insisted that i would rather it were my daughters shoes than her knickers, and it became an accepted part of his life. my daughter had no problems at all, i often saw her check to see if her heels were very smelly after she had taken them off, and if my son didnt disturb any footwear while unsupervised, it became an unusual event.
i dont think your son finds the idea of you arousing, but the heels of a beautiful woman that are still warm and smell of her are, in my experience, amazing. its great that you embrace his need and respect this, as it is a hard thing to reconcile as an adult when you have not had any positive reinforcement growing up. my boy knows its ok to like heels, my girl knows that some guys will do anything for a chance to touch her feet, noone is leaving fluids where they shouldnt be, and i dont really mind if my girl thinks its pretty cool that she is the only one who has a brother that masturbates a lot.
your son is lucky that you can be there, and needs to know that there is nothing wrong with what he does. you need to know that its pretty cool to have a mum that is stylish, smart, and emotionally able to accept a young mans very high praises.
my hope is that he finds a girl to fill this need, and that you find a man that appreciates what a beautiful woman you are. many men are afraid to let on that they have a foot fetish, or that the shoes you casually take off will drive them wild. with someone other than your son, you will see that there are a few things you dont know, and hopefully having someone else want to smell your feet and masturbate will encourage some growth within you too.
there are many men who would love a beautiful girl in heels to greet them at days end, and many of us simply dont have this. let your young man enjoy himself, and find a man to enjoy you.

Cindy - posted on 05/19/2014

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Hi Sarah,

I can imagine how you feel because I had an identical situation a couple of years back when my son was 12. Like you I caught him masturbating with my shoes and had the sense to slowly back out of the room before he knew I had seen him. I had heard of this kind of thing before and I was shocked, however although I thought I should tackle it, I did not want to confront him because I was sure that the embarrassment would have been devastating. So here is what I did.

The next day I wrote a note, a very kind and understanding one. I felt a note left discreetly on his pillow would allow him to avoid the embarrassment of a direct confrontation, but yet him know that I loved and supported him and wasn't angry at what he had done and that if he wanted to do it again it was OK.

I left the note on his pillow and the next morning he said nothing and acted normally. I wondered if he had seen it but by the time he went to school and I went to make the beds, I saw that the note was on my pillow and he had written an answer on the other side of the paper.

he wrote that he was sorry for what he had done and thanked me for being such a good and understanding mom. He said that he could not help himself and that he felt really excited when he saw "shiny" women's shoes. By this I think he meant "black patent" as those were the shoes I caught him kissing.

So I thought I would continue this "dialog" as he was not embarrassed or felt accused and knew he was respected. I left him more notes on his pillow, telling him it was OK, what kind of shoes did he like, would he like his own pair, etc. Over the day he let me know that being able to "borrow" my shoes was best because he liked when they had been worn all day and it was very exciting to lick and kiss the insides when they were still warm.

Having read a lot about this, I see that this it is quite normal for boys of this age to have a shoe fetish and if they can trust someone, in this case his young mom, then it is a huge confidence builder and they are much less likely to feel isolated and commit shoe-related crimes when they get older.

After a few weeks of this he asked (by note - we have never spoken of it) if I would stand outside his room and watch him masturbate while he kisses my shoes. He said that it would make him feel more accepted. I did then, and still do. When he is finished, I quietly slip away. Later I get flowers or some other little gift to thank me for being so understanding. On some occasions he has asked me to spank him first. I never spanked him as a young child but he tells me that he needs to feel punished for what he does and again this makes him feel that I am fully aware of what he does (like standing outside his room watching him masturbate) and that makes the whole experience more powerful for him by being "accepted". At his request I have even spanked him (gently!) with a belt while he masturbated with my shoes, although he was quite embarrassed afterward.

He is becoming interested in girls now and I see he really pays attention to the type of shoes they are wearing, so I know I will have to approach him to give him some tips on how to find a loving accepting partner and not one that runs away at the first mention of the "topic". he's a good boy otherwise and I'm sure he will make a loving partner. It will just take some guidance and time.

Sydnee - posted on 05/01/2014

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Sarah, why not just put on the heels you think he likes the most as if you are leaving the house, only to spend sometime at home before you leave and see if you find him staring for long periods of time or maybe he would even make a comment, if either one occurs simply ask him why he is staring or what he means by his comment, it may open up a conversation which would allow you to understand, and may allow him to unburden himself. If his initial reaction isn't what much you can always leave the house return, and either leave the shoes on or take them off, if you leave them on you can linger around and see if he says or does anything, if you take them off you can observe. Maybe he has moved passed this or maybe you can gain an understanding of his interest. I am a life long high heel wearer, and very high heels at that so i have encountered a lot of fetishist. Sydnee

Mark - posted on 04/23/2014

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Hi Sarah,
I just read your posts for the first time. Your son really is a big guy! Has he done anything to make you worry that he might try something? My brother has a fetish like your son. He has had it for years now and he is satisfied just masturbating into his wifes' shoes. It sounds like something happened to make you concerned.

Mark

Joey - posted on 04/23/2014

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Since he's a man now according to the law, and will be going off on his own soon to college it is important that you have him watch all these videos of a single man whom got prison time, $50,000 in fines, negative publicity on national news, and had to register as a sex offender for doing things like massaging and taking pictures of random women's feet at stores.
http://article.wn.com/view/2014/03/20/NC...

From my point of view if some guy wants to give my wife a foot massage that means I don't have to do it when I get home tired from work, but If he sucks on her toes I will make him sign a waver stating that we are not responsible for any disease he catches from doing it ha-ha-ha. On the other hand some people and the courts are now ruling the touching and or photographing of a woman's feet and shoes as being sexual assault and will be treated as if it were a serious sex crime! If your son touches the wrong woman's feet he could face serious public humiliation and shunning, and will have to go the rest of his life having to register as a sex offender in any state he goes to live in under Meghan's law! He will never get to attend your grand childrens school events, graduations etc... and In some neighborhoods he may even have to put up a sign in his front yard warning people to keep away, while also loosing the privileged of getting to decorate his front yard for Christmas! He will also have trouble finding employment and even a spouse too! OUCH! Please tell him to think twice about this behavior, because it could save his life! If that woman's feet are made out of pure GOLD he'd better make sure to cash them in while the price of gold is still high, and start a new life in another country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with America!

Mark - posted on 04/23/2014

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Hi Christine,
You are so NOT to blame for this!!! I would suggest sitting down with him...or maybe going out somewhere with him and having a long heart-to-heart talk about what excites him about them...and if he has anyone in his life now(besides you) that he feels comfortable talking about it with.

Don't freeze up on him...his "fetish" might not be shared by everyone else...but by more people then you may think. He obviously is comfortable enough to talk with you about it. Your reaction is key to how your relationship will be with him. Teens are never easy...but he is your son forever. I could go on for pages...lol Bottom like is try to understand his motivations...Good luck..

Mark

Ralphie - posted on 04/15/2014

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Hi Sara,

Yes this is a late post but I must say, you are a great Mom. First, you should praised for wearing high heels for what sound like every day for work. They are so feminine and setting a great example! You must look very classy and take great care in how you look. Many women these days wear ugly, clunky shoes that give the wrong impression.

Your son is very lucky to be able to share his secret with you. As you mentioned, this has brought you closer together.

One final point... I'm assuming it is your choice to remain single because wearing high heels should attract men who would be very grateful to be at your beckon call. As a single Dad, I certainly would!

Would love to hear back from you Sarah. Thank you for reading my post. Loved reading yours!

Ralphie

Etienne - posted on 04/03/2014

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Hello this is a very late comment but I wanted to comment as a male who raised by a single mother has a heel fetish. Mind you I do not lick the heel I am not as into it as some. Really I just appreciate a woman in heels and occasionally feel the desire to actually have them used to please me. Unfortunately as I remember it your son is in a sort of limbo for any fetish really. In the teen years every fetish feels amped up and your horny all the time. I never touched my mother's heels and I shamed myself if I noticed I was looking at her in them. Luckily I had girlfriends throughout my teen years and they wore heels or wedges daily for me. I think when it comes to the mother you have to make sure to emphasize the relationship and make sure the heel is the only thing sexualized. Its good you accepted his fetish but I urge you to separate yourself from the fetish. If he ever gets married I doubt a spouse would be happy to hear he jerked into his mother's heels. I suggest you transfer the fetish and get him to tell a girlfriend his fetish and get some heels that are not his mothers.

Steve - posted on 03/09/2014

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Sarah, I think it's great you've come to be so cool about his interests. Doesn't sound like he's hurting anyone and maybe some day he will find a woman that appreciates his affection for her feet. I have had a female foot fetish since I was young and have been fortunate enough to have always been with people, and marry someone that enjoys it. I don't creep around clothing or shoe stores lurking for women and such. There are breast men, leg men, butt men and then there are foot men. It's a very sensual part of the woman's body as far as I am concerned. That's great you are understanding, best wishes.

Christine - posted on 03/03/2014

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I have a similar experience. Last year I came home early and found my 15 year old son had just finished masterbating on my bed while wearing a pair of my ballet flats. I started laughing and made the mistake of saying OMG over and over. We talked about his trying on my shoes, and how they made him feel. I promised I would always keep this our secret. This calmed him down, as he was very upset.
He had started asking questions about my shoes a year or two ago, and I should have figured out something was going on with him.
I wasn't wild about the idea of him playing with my shoes, and it was a strange feeling wearing those shoes to work a few days later knowing what he had used them for. When he saw me wearing them he said something like they look better on you. We both laughed, and it relieved a lot of tension.
I ended up going to the mall and purchasing a very feminine pair of women's ballet flats for him. That evening I told him I didn't think it was appropriate for him to play with my shoes anymore, and that I had bought a pair for him to wear around the house for whatever needs he had. I stressed again this was a secret between the two of us. When I gave him the shoes he seemed thrilled and tried them on in front of me. When I saw him wearing these shoes I had the feeling I had made a big mistake. I thought being accomodating of his needs was the right thing to do. Now I'm not so sure. I don't know what to say to him and need some advice. Thanks!

Viktor - posted on 02/17/2014

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Hello there
I am 20 years old and I am here becouse i wanted know more about high heals fetish. I have that fetish. I know that i have it all my life. When i was 12 i saw my cousin heels and had erection. I never told about it all my life til my 18 years. I told that my 2 best friends they both said that is ok but also that i am deviant.

I dont want to be women. I am totally stright. but high heels makes me horny. I had 4 serious relationships all with women and some adventures with some chicks and once drunk kissed with guy becouse i wanted try that if i am gay. When I told that my 2 last girlfiends they said that it is totally ok when it makes me horny. (its pleasure have sex with girl that wear nice shoes)

sometimes i masturbate at shemales with high heels. some guy at 4chan told me that its about domination above person so when guy fuck girl with penis its win/win. I dont know what but it have something common with my high heels fetish.

If you want ask me something there I am.

[deleted account]

Hi Sarah,

Sounds like things might have worked out for you guys. I too had and continue to have a heels fetish. When I was a young teenager, I too began masturbating with my moms heels. I never wore them, only smelled and I use to strap the ankle straps (when applicable) to my penis and testis. I loved it very much, now in my early 40's, husband, father and professional. I still get excited over high heels. I have channeled my fetish into a safe reality. I have purchased dozens of stiletto heels for my wife. She will wear them for me when ever we (just the two of us) go out or when we get intimate.

You said you are beginning to enjoy his fetish, that can only help, I think. You also said it has made you closer, that can only be a good thing.

I also would like to add that not only is my fetish heels, but feet wearing the heels. That's where to sniffing the heels come in. You want to smell the scent of the heels with the combination of your feet in them. Also a huge turn on is well manicured toes in heels.

You should ask your son, what color toe polish he likes. Let him pick for you, like this next time you use your heels, you have to right color that blows his mind away.

Not sure how far you are willing to help your son, but there is a few more things you can do to assist him in his fetish. It truly is a beautiful thing. Let me know if there is anything else I might be able to say to assist.

Best of luck and have fun with it.

Nicole - posted on 01/17/2014

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Men from virtually every culture, ethnic ancestry, race and nationality become sexually aroused when they see an attractive woman in stiletto heels. The shoes, themselves, become a sex object for many males, much as the dinner bell replaced the actual presence of food for Pavlov's dogs. Invariably, males much prefer shoes that a woman has worn, as opposed to those fresh from the store.

I assume you're a fairly youthful, attractive woman, Sarah? And it's always been just you and your son in the home? I'm sure your son loves you, and I suspect there's a strong likelihood that during puberty and early adolescence, your son did develop a certain sexual attraction to you when you looked your sexiest to him --namely, while well groomed, wearing makeup and well dressed, wearing stiletto high heels.

If you really want to find out, my suggestion is to go into his presence, preferably in his bedroom, well dressed and made up, wearing "the" shoes. Tell him you'd like to get his opinion on your new dress/skirt, etc., and do some "modeling" for him. You'll quickly discern whether he finds the affair sexually stimulating. Perhaps, more importantly, you'll also discover whether he welcomes your behavior and enjoys it, or finds his response to it troubling and becomes awkward in his reaction, disturbed by his own feelings.

You must also determine what your own feelings are regarding your son, in the likely event he is sexually attracted to you. Be honest with yourself --would you feel honored? Awkward and embarrassed? Repulsed? Saddened? How close a relationship with him do you want? And what kind of relationship? These are questions you need to think through.

But in any case, it's certainly not your fault, nor his either, if he finds you sexually stimulating. And I would definitely not have a male friend, et cetera, discuss this matter with him. I think that would be the worst possible course of action you could take.

Brooklyn - posted on 01/16/2014

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YOUR SON IS FABULOUS. c: ♥ love him for who is is! i am pregnant right now. if my son turns out to be gay, bisexual, have a high heel fetish, etc. then i will love him no matter what! i will always have unconditional love for my son. i will never judge him. just love him! who cares! he's not hurting anyone!

Ranavishal - posted on 01/16/2014

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It is a very natural fetish. You dont have to worry about it much. As he will geow up he will be able to manage his attraction towards high heels.

Courtney - posted on 01/12/2014

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This sounds like something similar I caught my son doing last weekend. I'm really concerned also. We had a big party round our house to celebrate my daughters 21st birthday. We all got a bit merry and all her friends were round and what have you and of course all of the girls were in their 6 inch black stilettos. As the night went on they took them off and started having a dance and such. A few people stayed over as we have the guest room and the sofa and stuff. I went to walk downstairs in the middle of the night for a drink and I see my son Adam wearing 1 of the girls high heels and sniffing/licking another pair while they slept, I was frightened how excited he was getting by this. Is this normal behaviour for an 18 year old male?

Richie - posted on 01/11/2014

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I think you don't need to worry at this stage. But be aware of what sort of things he is using. When I was 16 year old guy, I used to love to search in mom's clothes or boots and try them. I don't know if its something natural but I had the tendency to do that and I used to love it. But after a year or a little more maybe, everything changed. Now i laugh when I just imagine what I used to do and wear. Now i am 25 years old, I don't have any conflicts with that anymore. So my advice keep an eye on him. If this continues and becomes more serious maybe you can talk to him. My mom didnt even notice, if she did I would have been so embarrassed in myself. WIsh things get well back and ofcourse communication and interaction between a mom and child remains an optimal solution.

Juan - posted on 12/23/2013

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Hello Sarah,

Being a young man myself, I was really concerned when I read that you are keeping a chair against your door as a makeshift lock due to your concern about your son.

I agree you should gradually open the doors of communication with him on the topic, or get a man that he respects to speak to him on the topic of relationships.

Although it is nothing illegal, there are many things that aren't illegal that can have bad longterm consequences. I think one of the most important messages your son needs to understand is that in the long run of life, his success will depend on how well he can develop meaningful relationships with people. In the case of love that would mean falling in love with a human being, not a shoe.

Fortunately he is not in any trouble, but if a man feeds an awkward desire repeatedly, most likely it will grow. There have been cases where men worked in shoe stores just to touch women's feet, and some even went as far as kissing customers feet and having security called on them! My point here is that people must regulate their passions and express them in the proper place.

I don't think getting him a girlfrind who likes heels is a solution. Why? Because unless he has in his mind being sincere in the relationship, he will just be in it for the shoes. A girl may put up with that for a while, but in the long run, people want to be loved for who they are first, then maybe for their fashion sense later.

I wish you and your son all the best.

Michelle - posted on 10/07/2013

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I love this story because it happened to my friend with her son. I think it's an attraction to "Mom" in a heterosexual way, and I don't think anything should be said or done differently. I think access to your shoes should remain the same as always. Don't buy him his own girl's underwear... let him find yours if he's interested in that. Don't surprise nor embarrass him in his quest for your heels. Let him enjoy your shoes through his own erotic thoughts!

Nicholas - posted on 09/04/2013

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I am 45 and I have had a high heel fetish as long as i can remember. Then about 10 years ago at my mothers best friends house for a party, they broke out a bunch of photos and some of me when I was two years old and playing with another child. There was two photos of me at the feet of these women sitting on a sofa. I was all over their shoes and they even told me that I wouldn't stop putting my face in her shoes. I can only guess that this was the moment where I possibly started my high heel fetish. I don't have any recollection about that moment. But things I do remember was being in kindergarten and always staring at my teachers shoes. And it continued through school... always noticing my teachers shoes.. and if she wore very high heels and she was pretty like my 4th grade??? forget it.. i was in love. .. As I got older, I always dated girls who loved high heels and back then i would never come out and say i had a shoe fetish but it was probably obvious. I never had any desire to wear high heels but definitely lick them and not because of the smell as much as the shape. I have stolen a pair of heels or two in my time and melt when i see a girl in them... my weak spot for sure.

Not sure what to say other than today, I still love women's legs... only see them on my girlfriend during sex and will lick them often. Perfectly natural now. I think ur son will eventually meet the right girl and you will see one happy camper from there on and will most likely never touch ur shoes again. :)

Stanley - posted on 07/03/2013

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Does anyone know if you can leave an email address on this site so someone can contact you privately...Stan

Stanley - posted on 07/03/2013

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I also have more to that story if you are interested.I have 3 daughters and 8 grand kids.This is about the high heel fetish,from the lade with the son that is 18.And all this is very clean,and is about real life.And what my daughters told me,when they found out about my wearing heels etc...Stan

L - posted on 07/02/2013

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I am 64 years old man who dared a girl to stomp on my foot when I was 12.This was to show how tough I was. Litttle did I know this would set me into a Fantascly Fine Feminine Footwear Fan ever sense...I have owned over 400 pair and still have 28 pair...Mocs loafers, decks...nothing to obvious so I can continue to wear out.....and have my wife wear hers on me...Love the feel of a pair of footwear walking on me. Flats, Wedges, 1",2", 3", and up...Buy the two of us same pair.It gives me a wonderful and sexy feel that heightens our relationship. She lets me wear a pair of flats around the house. Tried to shake it many times with no luck. Let your son enjoy his Feminine Footwear.. Buy him a pair of Ladies Top Siders and he can get the enjoyment of both looking at Feminine Footwear and the feel of having a pair on.

Tom - posted on 04/14/2013

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Hi, first of all sorry for my english im from argentina. how goes up to now?..
im writting here cause i have the same high heel fetish..but i never touch my mom´s ou my sister´s heels..that´s a bit strange for at leats..
i woul like to know how is he now..

High Heels In The - posted on 04/09/2013

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Wow! You are not alone! This is a common phenomenon. There should be nothing to worry about! In fact, this is a very healthy sign! Studies have shown that the sexual peak for men is at age 18. The foot naturally sweats and has high potency pheromones that invoke a sexual response, so the smelling and licking of the shoes is a natural reaction to what is already there. You obviously are a supremely feminine woman that he admires and not in an unhealthy way. He is attracted to the look, the feel, the smell of nylons and high heels. This is a good thing! It's when he is sensually or sexually attracted to other male things that is to be feared (if you fear bisexuality or homosexuality). My son is this way, and women are very attracted to him, and he has no gay or bisexual tendencies. Your son may even have some extra female chromosomes. See my posted conversation today, "My son's Karotype (chromosomal nature) is extra female XXXY." There is a plethora of research out there that extols this fetish in men with science to back it up. My guess is that your son will have a hot and healthy sex life with the Ms. Right for him! Never discourage him from what naturally turns him on, he will come to hate you for it. You can't change his nature. Do something sweet to celebrate his sensuality for this fetish: buy him a pair of 5" spectator pumps in his shoe size and favorite color, and a sexy pair of nylons and panties to go along, and leave the gifts with a note that says: "For (his name here), Love Mom". He will be at first shocked that you know, but this will quickly turn around to where he will adore you for morally supporting what is important to him, and that which turns him on, namely supremely feminine objects of attire. Don't worry, he will not become incestual or homosexual. Do it as soon as you possibly can and I would be interested in the outcome. I am here for you! PS: I know a pastor, you/he could talk to, who did his doctrinal dissertation on the Song of Songs from the Bible, that gives full support for fetishes in healthy relationships between man and woman, from the Bible!

Ivanna - posted on 03/10/2013

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Have you talked with him yet? Maybe he needs his own heels to play with instead. In reality though, he needs a girlfriend to explore these crazy fantasies with. You are his mom and love him unconditionally but he needs a friend who cares about him as much as you do to play with. Hope that helps:)

Petkar - posted on 03/08/2013

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not true
fetish for high heels not invold person ------- dont worry
he love heels shoes
I started with my sieter shoes ------- but I newer have any desire for my sister
HIGH HELLS SHOES ONLY
but - yes ------- dream abaut models wering them
NEWER family

Kyle - posted on 03/06/2013

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Sarah, I'm a 19 year old male, and have the same fetish fantasies as your son. As i was growing up I went towards my older sisters shoes as she was the only one who wore high heels. Thing is when ever she wasn't home I would go into her walldrobe and grab all her heels and take them into my room and sniff and lick them. Even if she goes out to a party and comes home late ill stay up so when she takes her heels off before going to bed ill sneak out of my room and grab them and just sniff them. This is a really common fetish. If I were you I'd get the high heels you wear the most and leave them at the front door. Becuase he will be attracted to the ones you wear the most, if your 36 that's a still young age as a mom and I seem some 30 year old singles moms ill call milfs. So if you look attractive and have sexy feet then your son will never stop stealing your shoes. High heel fetish is the most common fetish, all I can suggest is. But a pair of heels that are the exact same as you wear everyday. When you go out put the newer pair in the car when you come home take off your worn pair in the car and out the new pair on. Just till you get inside then put then ones at the door step. I don't know why but the smell of a shoe being worn all day is a big turn on, the smell is like a shark smelling blood you just can't get enough. Since my older sister moved out I have to google and watch foot fetish porn, but someone's she will leave a window open at her house so some days I fake sickys from work just to go to hers and break in and grab her shoes. This fetish is really strong if you remove your heels from him he will start licking and sucking your feet.

Petkar - posted on 03/01/2013

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I m man 50 yare old ----- i have fetish to high heels since i know for my self ----- I m not diferent like others just I love them ------- sorry my spelling - I m not british

Angela - posted on 01/27/2013

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Hi,

Probably it is not Your fault, some say this behavior is not even abnormal. I guess You consider it abnormal and this is my opinion too, but it is not a big deal. Obviously You will not feel good if he goes on with this using Your shoes so I would say it might be instructive to restrict access to them (or simply make it inconvenient to acess them)
This behavior has its roots in early childhood. It is hard to tell what was the reason, probably it is also quite useless.
Anyway if You want to help him consider following:
If You are about to talk to him, be careful, do not force him into inconvenient situations and do not make him lie.
It is better to leave room only for honest discussions but I would say it is better not to tell him too much first.
His sexual fantasies are probably dominated by womens shoes. It is not a big deal but it may cause some problems:
a.) possible addiction to these fantasies (like addiction to games) This may cause him to waste his time and all kinds of resources on shoes.
b.) it might cause him to consider only a girls feet/shoes in a relation. This will obviously "simplify" his sexual life in an unpleasant way. He might just miss the most important, the best things in life.

To avoid these You can try to make room for "normal" sexual fantasies and supress his interests in shoes. I know it is not easy. Some ideas:
* You can offer him some good movies to watch with mormal sexual behavior , not porn of course (try to exclude scenes with sexy heels, that is not what he needs:-)) In his age he will react to the smallest reference to sexual things, so really You do not need to show him too direct content.
* Touch him! The physical contact (e.g. give him hug) is very important. If You convince him that You have much more to offer than Your shoes, he will change significantly. Of course hugging him with all the mother's love is much more than some shoes. "Demonstrating" any kind love is not wat he needs. Real love is what he needs expressed partly physically. (Be prepared for wierd reactions!)
* try to make room for physical contacts with girls in his age. (I am writing this in Europe, so You might want to adjust this a bit according to local cultural standards.) This may e.g. mean dancing. That is fun, is some kind of workout, and is closely related to sexual things while normally accepted in most cultures.
* Try to minimize his time he can spend on fantasizing on / playing with shoes. Just give him a good task instead.

Good luck!

Sydnee - posted on 01/16/2013

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Hi Jamie from everything I found relating to a high heel fetish there are strong indications that it begins early in life and typically whether known or unknown is a result of a mom or some close wearing high heels.

It is an associated behavior... maybe he has had this fascination for many years. I do think that there are some dynamics involving the type and style of the shoes, are they the extremely high heels that are popular today? would be interesting to know more about the shoes, and where are they found or is he looking for them? Are they worn around the home everyday, what else are they worn with?

Jamie - posted on 01/15/2013

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1. Let the boy know that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to women's shoes as a point of arousal, it is actually very common.

2. Address the appropriate time/ place to express his interests - i.e. mom's shoes are NOT appropriate, if he is going to be expressing such interests do so in private/ in his room with door closed (more concerned whether its his mom's shoes or heels in general and his moms shoes is his only outlet.)

3. Discuss with him healthy ways to express such interests in his own dating life - let him know there are ways to broach the subject and integrate it into normal healthy dating.
3a. Consider his social interactions (Introvert, Extrovert, etc..) first.

Also, if an 18 yr old young man is acting in such a way towards his mom's, he may be socially behind the curve and severely encouraged to have more social interaction

Sydnee - posted on 01/10/2013

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Having you been leaving the shoes out in the open, like by the door? Or does he get in your closet and search for them? How do you know he is taking them?

Sydnee - posted on 01/06/2013

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Hi Sarah, just checking in to see how it is going.... Any recent incidents has he been using your heels?

Yari - posted on 12/23/2012

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Hi
I know this site is for parents but when I see this post I thought may be I could help.
I am a 24 years old boy that have this kind of fetish ( not exactly that kind I like to wear them but I am not a cross dresser ) since I was 15 and I must say it is not a serious problem like you think and it is not affect my social life or cause education problem. ( I am an electronic engineer)
I am not say that it is perfectly normal but it is not a big deal either do not make it big by thinking too much about it just talk to him ( offer him to buy his own high heels is good I wish someone talked to me he is very lucky to have good mom like you ) and see what he think about it may be he stop doing it like a pot problem that you mention above.
Please talk to him.
Sorry about my writing I am not English.

Sydnee - posted on 12/20/2012

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Tony, I agree with you fully.

What I meant is i'm not sure that his interest are limited to the high heels, that comment was meant for Sarah, meaning maybe he finds her attractive or desirable.

Tony - posted on 12/19/2012

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@Sydnee: Thank you for your comment!

There is one point you mention that must not be overlooked: "Though not sure what the limits of his interest are." This question is very important and the answer makes a huge difference. I should have mentioned it in my first posting.

I am tolerant regarding sexual behaviour. But over the years I have thought a lot about where the limits are. This is my conclusion: When you cannot control your desires and start to force your will on others and become willing to hurt them for your selfish pleasures, then this is wrong.

Whatever drives a person, one must be strong enough to control it so as not to cause harm to others (I mean actual emotional or physical harm, not just challenging other people's fixed ideas).

As a parent I think you are responsible for teaching your children to respect others. This applies to all areas of life, but of course also to sexual activities. A fetish or hormones must never be tolerated as an excuse for hurting others.

@Steve: It is great that there are men who manage a fetish gracefully and have the support of an understanding partner. This surely is an encouraging example for a young man trying to understand himself and find his way in a confused world.

Sarah - posted on 12/18/2012

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@Sydnee

I'm 36 now and I first started wearing heels at 17 when I worked as a waitress in a themed diner. My particular outfit had 3 inch black pumps which for 8 hour shifts was quite challenging- for an expert, let alone a 17 y/o who had only worn heels on Sundays.

Now, I wear 4-5 inch stiletto pumps daily.

Sydnee - posted on 12/18/2012

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Interesting that there are men now commenting on your post Sarah. I can only speak for myself and my experiences, but as a woman who starting wearing heels at a young age, and wearing heels that are or would be considered to be extremely high, many people call them hooker heels, I have had a wide range of conversations with men both on line and in person who are "high heel fetishist" and the origin of their fetish as well as the depth of it are quite varied.

That is part of the reason i asked how high a heels you wear? How long have you been wearing heels

Steve - posted on 12/18/2012

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Hi Sarah,
I am also a male, and came across this post after my wife spoke to me about it. As you probably have guessed i also have a shoe fetish like your son and have had one as of the age of 10. I am now 43 and married with a great wife who understands my fetish. As with your son i also have started with my mom shoes. Not to seem insensitive, but your son s fetish has really nothing to do with you, and all to do with your high heels. The turn on for him is seeing high heels. I can only speak of my fetish and my experiences, but i really don t think you have anything to worry about. This is a very common fetish amongst men.

When i was younger i spent many days trying to figure out why i felt the way i did when i saw women wearing high heels. Just to come to the conclusion that it s just a harmless fetish like any other fetish. Also as Sydnee as mentioned, i think that it s being out of proportion. i Also think that it is really up to you, if you wan to talk to your son about i, but don t make hime feel that it s anything weird or unusual.

Sydnee - posted on 12/17/2012

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Very interesting take Tony, I have been wearing high heel extremely high by most all standards for a very long time. As a result i spoken with a lot of men who have high heel fetish related interest and find that they vary widely.

If you care to chat about your interest let me know.

I do agree that this young man is not a physical threat at all. Though not sure what the limits of his interest are.

Sydnee

Sydnee - posted on 12/14/2012

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Wow this all seems pretty heavy for what is a natural normal act of all people, the idea of a young man pleasuring himself is pretty normal. Add to it that he has an apparent fetish for high heels, well that is the most common fetish of all.

I think it is being blown out of proportion. You can leave it alone or you can ask him about it but i dont think it is that big a deal or that unusual.

Janice - posted on 12/13/2012

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Heather very helpful, and the psychologist I eventually got to was a Sexual Addiction specialist. AND PLEASE dont alienate your son, everything Heather said was more than true! Talk, write him letters something, but dont make him feel horrible about his fixation!!!

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