Carrie - posted on 05/13/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )
When the father of my daughter (born 12.6.14) found out I was pregnant he initially wanted to be involved. After 2 weeks he made a complete 180 and begged me to terminate. I kept my daughter knowing that her biological father didn't want her or anything to do with her or myself. He kept it from everyone and acted like it never happened. When my daughter was almost 2 months old I came across his mother who I knew from the time during our relationship and she commented on how cute my daughter was not knowing she was also her granddaughter. I called her after I left and asked to her to call me later so we could talk about something. She immediately called her son to tell him and he begged me to not tell his mom. He would do anything to avoid having to tell them. I refused to keep it a secret so he made the decision to tell his parents. She was very hurt and upset and promised she would get back with me once she had time to think about it. She spoke to him and ended up changing his mind to where he called and asked to be in his daughters life. He met her on 3 occasions when she was 2 months old and one of those times was with his mom and stepfather. He had moved on and started dating someone just a few months after we split and the new GF was not happy with me being present for visitation. He ended up telling me he would not see his daughter again until I would allow him to see her without me being there. I told him that wouldn't happen without a court order. We were going through DHS for a DNA test and they refused to get involved. Problem being I was recently divorced and state law said that since my divorce wasn't final more than 300 days they considered my ex-husband her father. This gave her bio dad a way out. He jumped on and told his family that my ex was her father and there was nothing he could do. My ex-husband is listed on her birth certificate as her father and I will have to take her bio dad to court to correct it. He has threatened me that if I force him to take a DNA test to prove he is her father he will hire an attorney and fight for as much custody as he can get. During our dealings with DHS he was told he was looking at child support of about $1,000 a month so that is when he started talking about pursing custody thinking it would reduce his child support. He isn't doing it for the my daughters best interest. I haven't decided if I will pursue getting her birth certificate corrected for the risk that he would fight me. He does not pay child support and has in no way supported her. I run into his family because we live in a rather small town and it breaks my heart every time I see them knowing they have been lied to and have no idea she really is their granddaughter. Do I talk to his family? Do I force DNA with the risk of splitting custody with someone that doesn't want her?