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Temper Tantrums from my 18 month old. HELP!!!

Maria - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi my son is 18 months old and he has very bad tantrums. He wants things his way and when he doesn't he kicks, scream, hits himself and even throws himself on the floor. I've tried removing him from where he is having a tantrum andclam him down in a quiet one. It has worked but I was wondering if anyone knows of other techniques I can utilize. I know every kid goes through tantrums and the doctor said not to take it personal but its so hard not to! Help please!

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Beth - posted on 08/03/2012

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Both you and your son will survive the tantrums. Certainly ignoring the tantrums where possible is the best way to deal with them. When he's calming down, go have a big cuddle with him so that he's reassured that you're there and that you love him. Also it's a way of rewarding that he's managing to calm himself down. Talk to him as he finishes calming down, then move onto something else that's fun and relaxing. It can be a favourite book or jigsaw, or just watching a cartoon.

Yes it's horrible seeing a child having a full blown tantrum, especially when they hurt themselves. It is a way of getting your attention (positive or negative). Certainly one of the things I've learnt is ignore the bad and praise the good. He'll learn fairly quickly what behave gets attention so worth carrying on with and what doesn't get attention, so not worth carrying on with. You and your son will get there.

Maria - posted on 08/02/2012

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Beth, thank you for taking your time and respondin. I am going to try that with him and see how it works. I hate the tantrums especially when he hits himself. It makes me so sad :(

Beth - posted on 08/01/2012

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When he starts of, try and distract him - did he spot that blue dinosaur going round the corner type thing. Another strategy is when he decides he's going to have a tantrum is to ignore him, as long as he's in a safe location and not going to come to any serious harm. You can suddenly become very interested in that book that's in arm length etc.. Yes it's hard to ignore, but he'll learn that he's not going to get a reaction out of you for throwing a tantrum. When he calms down enough then pay some attention to him. I found with my girls that praising the behaviour and ignoring the bad behaviour (where appropriate) influenced their behaviour. They all learn that using certain words, behaviours weren't acceptable and what were.

Certainly once he's kicked off into a full blown tantrum, it's worth either getting on with something else/becoming engrossed in that book you've just picked up etc. and ignoring him. Yes keep an eye on him, but without making it too obvious that you're making sure he's OK, but at the same time ignoring. You'll get through it and you'll notice that the tantrums will decrease when he realises that he's not getting any attention (good or bad) for them.

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