terrible 2s and wondering if this is my fault.

Allison - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 2 year old son spends 98% of the time with me..alone. I am starting to see some things that are worrying me like the emotional roller coaster he's been on. I am aware of the terrible two's just wondering if this is normal..considering the anxiety they start t o feel. My son does spend time with his other family about once a month or once every other month but i started to cut down on those because he cries to the point of vomiting if I leave. Sometimes if I leave him in one room to go into another (like to put clothes away or a load in the washing machine) he starts screaming and crying to a point where he's inconsolable. I don't know what to do. Its so bad that because of this I haven't been able to take away his bottle AT ALL *he still wakes up at night for it at least once*, He wont sleep in his toddler bed AT ALL unless hes so tired he doesn't realize whats going on and he;s NEVER SLEPT IN IT A FULL NIGHT. I'm starting to potty train and it's frustrating because he refuses to go to the potty if he's having these fits and starts to scream to me that he wants his diapers. The crying goes on for at least an hour and a half if I don't find a way to stop it (which means giving in) I am scared that if i stop giving in he will develop an emotional problem or something I have NEVER ever seen anything like it. I am going away tomorrow to visit family for a few weeks for the summer and I'm having anxiety that he'll be 110x worse than he is now. I feel like this is getting bad because i'm starting to feel restricted with the things I can do.... Is anyone else experiencing this kind of situation? I feel horrible that i don't have anyone to rely on to be the "bad" cop ...I have to be both..I mean ...I just feel a little overwhelmed..some advice on discipline would be helpful. Everyone keeps saying just take control of the situation your the parent..but how do I do that when he's freaking out so bad...I'm scared the neighbors might call the cops his crying is so loud and screeching.

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Lisa - posted on 07/10/2009

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Be consistent! Things change in life and even as adults we experience big changes(e.g. death, job loss, etc.) that we learn to deal with. In my opinion it will only get worse if you don't teach them at a young age. Also, remember he is little so he needs time to learn, if we all learned everthing over night then I'd be a doctor by now!



Also One thing at a time! We tend to stress when things pile up and it becomes difficult to get things done when stressing. Read about age groups and what little ones are doing in each age that your little one is past or at. All children are different but the books will give a guideline and if their is something you think he should have done by now then make changes, one at a time. A good way to keep track of this is with charts and stickers. I gave my son a reward after he filled up the chart. He took it to the store just like $ to pick out something (dollar store works well) and I slipped the $ to the cashier. I also think it is good for children of single parents to hear from others what a good job they did, and by taking the chart into a public place you are giving your child more reward than imaginable. Praise your child for the baby steps and he will make great progress.



For my son:

Bottle gone at 1 (never used a pacifier)

Slept w/ me till 2.5

potty trained at 3.5 (bedtime too)



Ishe going on the three week visit? While there, leave him with family and take a walk or something, even 10 min at a time. Family can be a great support group and if you need help ask for it.



On a final note...If crying for an hour and a half over the potty and he hasn't gone...maybe he didn't need to go. Children are human, little but still human. Set a timer for every 15 min and take him in there to try. If he doesn't go in 3 min then try again in 15. It takes time but it is well worth it when they can go on their own. By setting limits everyone stays on track and the goals will get met.



Good luck and God Bless!

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