Two Last Names

Leyna - posted on 05/14/2013

Why do schools required that my child's last name be changed to the father's last name? We were married out of wedlock so we used my last name? Does this even matter? Please help!

Connie - posted on 01/25/2013

im kinna having the same problem, my daughter is in kindergarden now and ive registered her with her legal ldt name, then they asked if i wanted a prefered last name for her so i have put mine down as its a nicer name and i have her 75% of the time. So last week e dad finally went to the school for the 1st time since she started and had a fit that ive put her last name as mine, and is now saying if it doesnt get changed he will take me to court over it. Is that possible for im to take me to court over this or is he making a big deal. We were never married thank goodness for that ) but it does have his last name on the registraton form at her school. So i just need some advice on this please nd thank you

Ponda - posted on 03/08/2010

For several reasons (outside of this conversation), I talked to a lawyer specializing in this scenario, since I wanted to carry on my last name as did the father. She (highly) recommended that I use my last name first in case there was a (worst case scenario) split. As she put it, the hyphenated last name is becoming more typical in today's world. While legally, if both names are on the birth certificate, then both names are to be listed on documents. When the child is old enough to make a legal decision, then they can change it at that time to legally change their name to one or the other. With that said, she indicated that typically, the last of the 2 names is dropped more often than not especially when a mother becomes a primary caretaker. In addition, I have talked to a school attendance administrator who deals with this. She indicated that she sees several of the students that have 2 last names and their documents reflect as such, but one of the names is typically dropped in everyday conversations usually because of the child not wanting to reference both names. Hope this helps.

Brooke - posted on 03/08/2010

you can put dwn in her personal details both names for school records but when they ask prefered names just put your last name =) lots of schools dont hav a problem with that kinda stuff n they understand f you were to exlpain it to the

Diamonique - posted on 03/07/2010

I wanted to do the same but i was confused on how u go about writing it his hyphen yours or yours hyphen his. And is it true as long as he sign or have a dna test you will be fine....

Charlene - posted on 03/07/2010

Well, Use whichever one she chooses. She will not resent you for not using his last name. And if she knows that yours is hers... THen as long as she knjows she has another one and can tell you that... it really doesnt matter. My daughter has 2 last names and she uses her daddys. thats the one she chose when she started school. Your child is smart. Let her choose this.

Amy - posted on 03/07/2010

my son is 9 and he has 2 last names and uses both of them all the time. its a source of pride for him that he has both my last name and his dads.

Kathy - posted on 03/05/2010

My daughter has two last names, mine and then his. In elementary she used both last names. When she started middle school she decided to use my last name only on school papers and things that don't require full names.

Alison - posted on 02/27/2010

I would choose your name.

Megan - posted on 02/26/2010

My kids have 2 last names aas well. My son started school this year and is in Kindergarden and he choose his last name. I left it up to him. Don't feel guilty, it brings more stress than what you need. We as single moms need to lessen our stresses.

Rain - posted on 02/21/2010

My daughter has two last names as well. His - then mine follwoing a hyphen. She has always gone by my last name even when we were married. (His boys have his last name so he didn't care about a girl. We only put his name there due to the military and insurance issues) It also lets her grow up with that connection to me, us having the same last name instead of being different. I think that's important for her. He really doesn't have much to do with her. She's in preschool and by law, they use both (what''s on her birth certificate) but then they only refer to her with her first and our last name. I guess the other poster is right about his rights issue but since all her records have always been with just my name, the court papers only list her by my laast name and even he filled out his portion of the paper work with her only having my last name, he'd be hard pressed to make an issue of it now, after 5 years.

Hope this helps.

Arrynne - posted on 02/20/2010

Truthfully.. if the child has 2 last names she should always go by both last names. They are both her legal name and teaching her to use only your name is telling the child that you are more important as a parent than her father.. which btw is in direct violation of his basic parental rights and he can have it enforced in court if he wished.

Lauren - posted on 02/13/2010

You should use whatever is on her birth certificate. It would make her life a lot easier.

Twyla - posted on 02/10/2010

my son is 9 and he has both our last names. When I sign important documents I use both but in class and generally speaking we only use his first last name which is mine. On the other hand his dad had 2 last names growing up and hated it. He wanted only one and that was the one of his dads. Till this day he asks for me to legally change his name to have only his last name.....