Visitation Agreement ://

Alison - posted on 07/10/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Ok, so most of you can see my last post titled "Advice on this horrible situation" and read that first if you didn't already because it has more background than I am saying on here. Anyway, to make this short, it has been 2.5 years since my daughters 'dad' has seen her (she just turned 3 last month) and he decided after that long he wanted to see her again. He took me to mediation, and we agreed on setting up a one time meeting for the 2 of them to see what happens from there. Well when it was time for him to show up, he emailed the day he was supposed to be there and said that he didn't think it was worth it to travel 2 hours there and back to only see her for 2 hours at a time. I honestly think that meeting her for the first time, the meeting should only be 1 hour but 2 hours would be okay. He thinks he should see her for 8 hours at a time. So he didn't show up, and is taking me back to mediation tomorrow! I am not budging on the 2 hour long visits. That is more than enough time for my daughter to be around a stranger. If he follows through on those visits, then he can come for longer periods of time as he proves he wants to be in her life. Am I okay to stand my ground in mediation tomorrow and say that 2 hours is enough? I would drive a million hours to see my daughter for 5 minutes if I had to. Apparantly it's not worth it to him. :(

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Elisha - posted on 07/10/2012

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I agree with Kristin. He hasn't been involved in her life, and eight hours is a lot for a little kid like that to handle, anyway. They get tired, hungry, cranky and distracted. They only have like a three minute attention span at that age. If he was that interested in seeing her, he would have driven the two hours to see her the first time. The fact that he didnt' think it was worth his time to make the drive should show that his intentions aren't really honorable.

Kristin - posted on 07/10/2012

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definately stand your ground. There is no way he can have her for 8 hours as she is so young and he is a stranger. Plus he has to prove he wants to be in her life by following what the meadiator and you decide. He has no one to blame but himself for the way it is simnce he wasnt there to begin with. Your doing the right thing.

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Mary - posted on 07/28/2012

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Yes, stand your ground. For a father to not have anything to do with his daughter for 2.5 years just proves that he's not interested in her. I have the same situation with my ex-husband. He hasn't seen our kids for almost a year now with not even a phone call to see how their doing. Stick to your decision. If he is really interesting he would make the effort to see her. I think 2 hours is enough time for now especially since she doesn't know him. Good luck to you both.

Kendra - posted on 07/11/2012

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Yes don't budge an inch, if he want his daughter in his life he will do what it takes. It also doesn't look good on his part when do does a no show make sure to take the email he sent you.

Catherine - posted on 07/11/2012

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I agree with your position on this. Stand your ground. If he wants the father-daughter relationship, he will do whatever it takes within reason to accommodate her. Two hours is plenty of time. She is 3 years old. She will become bored after 20 minutes anyway and want to move on to something different, especially if he cannot capture her attention and entertain her. He needs to show his commitment to this process and start establishing trust as well as a relationship with her.

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