Visitation - out of state father

Kristin - posted on 04/20/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hello, Everyone -

I am wondering what are the thoughts and if you know the law on out of state visitation rights. My Xhusband moved to GA in Nov last year. Before he left he was seeing the boys every other weekend. I would drive the boys to his apartment and pick up the boys, so they could see their father. I do not speak bad about their father to the children (10 and 2 both boys). I do know that the father will say things about me to the 10 year old. The father moved to GA, where is family is as well as new girlfriend. The girlfriend has met the boys once for 4 hours the day before he was moving away. In our divorce agreement he can see the boys everyother weekend and if something comes up etc during the week but here... not visiting him in another state. Do I have to let my children go to another state especially being the age they are as well as I know nothing of where they will be as well as the enviroment that they are going to emotionally is not a good one?

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Michelle - posted on 04/22/2009

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My first thought is what a lot of others said - get it through the courts in writing asap!! My daughter's dad lives in another state - and his visitation is that he can only take her out of state for 1 week a year - otherwise he has to come here - and because of this - he has never taken her, and has come here three times in 5 years. And all of that - is at the agreement of BOTH parents - he tried to tell me he was taking her there for a week this summer and I said absolutely not - she barely remembers him short of the occasional phone calls..and because of the custody order - he can't do it. But - before the order was in place - he could do whatever he thought he wanted - So get it in writing right about - otherwise - he's entitle to what the papers say.

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Bea - posted on 12/28/2012

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I have the same situation. I am from California. Although my son is thirteen. My son's dad kept on lying to him, first he said that he's moving in a year, then in a few months, then my son found out two weeks before he leaves to indiana. I only found out 3 days before he leaves. I was really heart broken for my son. My son even begs me to talk t his dad but ofcourse no way of changing his mind. The bad part about it is he lied to my son why he is going there. At first he said to my son that he's going there because of his job, then when we confronted him with me, he said that it's better to have a family life there. Obviously, it's only his family life with his girlfriend there. My son was crying the whole week, he asked to see if my ex's parents can consider of thinking about it again, but instead my ex's mom had told me that my son should be okay because he's thirteen now. I was really furious. It's not jut about my ex's moving but it's the whole deceit why his moving and not being honest about with our son. To top of it he expect me to just give my son whenever his available because it's his right as a parent. The last i know we have a son and not a rental. He does not talk to me about things before hand in regards on how does this affect our kid. I am stressing about this. one thing stuck on my mind is when he said "It's not my problem that you got the custody". Then I gave him what he wants and don't talk to him either. It's a mess right now because of this no alert situation. please give me advice also. thanks.

Lauren - posted on 04/21/2009

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I don't know the whole story behind your situation... but my children's father took the kids out of state when I didn't have a custody agreement and it was horrible trying to get them back. It was a blood bath and now they are with me and my court order will allow only for visitation at my discretion in my state even though their father lives out of state. To be legal about it, you should really go back to court and get an ammended visitation agreement because once you let them leave the state... if the custody agreement does not say anything about out of state visitation... it's up the the state law of where they are staying at that time. So basically Georgia would enforce the law as they see fit. Now... if you had a custody agreement regarding out of state visitation and it wasn't adhered to... they would have to enforce the law based on the state that retains jurisdiction... which would be the state in which the original custody agreement was drawn up in. Once you LET him take them out of state and it is not kidnapping... I think it opens up a whole new set of rules because then it is based on a "verbal" agreement and it becomes your word versus his. I would definitely suggest a motion to modify visitation... if you two can agree on it together... no one should need attorneys... just what ever it costs to file the paperwork with the courts.

Lorrie Willbergh - posted on 04/21/2009

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You will need to get your papers changed - and unless you need to document facts about why it is not a good environment (facts - not opinions) That is what I heard in parenting class - check with a lawyer - you can usually get a consultation for free

Kristin - posted on 04/21/2009

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Thanx Tara I will look into this. our agreement does comment every other weekend. I'll check out the courts.

Tara - posted on 04/20/2009

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My exhusband also lives out of state but because of the military. In our divorce agreement, he has visitation rights when he is in our home state, and neither of us can take our girls (5 and 3) out of state without the permission of the other. In your case, I would recommend contacting the courts about this. Something in your child custody will have to be changed in the documents on the record. I live in WI and (I'm nearly positive) that the law in WI would not require you to send your children out of state for visitation; the law would require your ex to petition the court for a change in the placement/visitation arrangements. I hope this was helpful! Good luck!!

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