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I have kept a record of when my ex has sent me a text message/phone call and what my response was. That is my best source of evidence should my ex decide to come back into my girls' lives (again). Like you, I have concerns about my ex having contact with my girls (different reasons, but enough for me to put up certain restrictions/walls). The best thing I did, was actually block him from seeing me on Facebook, as he requested me several times to be a friend, even though I kept declining him, although I'm friends on Facebook with some of his family members. By blocking him, it helped me get on with my life, since his last contact with my girls.

OK, you may not be able to use the evidence that you found on Facebook, but you can say that you have concerns about your ex. Any sensible judge will take into accounts your concerns, your ex's past etc. and work out what is best for your child. By repeately downloading/copying pictures of him off Facebook, it could look like you're snooping. I can understand where you're coming from, but it could appear that you've crossed the line from concerned parent, to keeping tabs on your ex excessively.

Courtney - posted on 07/08/2012

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Hi Alison...
Ugh that is so frustrating... it's like... I know you're a total asshole, how do I prove it... I'm not sure if this evidence would be helpful to a judge, however if you are going to go through a custody evaluation, I would print it out and show it to the evaluator and explain your concerns honestly from the heart. What a terrible situation. I would seek advice from an attorney on this one too... Good luck!!!!

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Kristin - posted on 07/10/2012

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Unfortunately, facebook pics and pics of tatoos will not be submissable in court. Email, text messsages and documentation by you are what are submissable. Voice your concerns to the judge, let the judge know his criminal backgorund and voice your concerns and the judge will make an order from there. Unfortunately, the judge can not force someone to pay support and the proper legal channels need to be followed. Bringing in pics from facebook may make you look bad and may show the judge you dont want the father in your childs life at all. You have to keep in mind that no matter what the courts want both parents to be involved in the childs life and really what he chooses to do when he doesnt have his child is up to him,. It would be no different if you went out drinking when your child was in someone elses care. Keep it civil and ask for supervised visits as you are concerned for your childs welfare when with their father.

Melissa - posted on 07/09/2012

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I would state your concern, and maybe ask for alcohol councelling and supervised visitation to start. That way you have someone witnessing visitation, if that is the minimum you get. If they have concerns they should be also bringing it up when it gets re-evaluated, maybe ask for alcohol testing being done too, if it's unsupervised visitation. They may be able to see what the levels are back so many days are too. I know they can do that with blood glucose levels for diabetes! There is sugar in alcohol it's different possibly, but that may help you. I don't know if the facebook stuff will help, but these requests may be of more help to you!

Alison - posted on 07/09/2012

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I am not trying to be vindictive and to stop him from seeing me daughter. I am trying to prove to the court that he has not stopped drinking even though he says he has. He has a criminal record and many d.u.is after drinking and is very very violent and it would just prove that he isn't capable of stopping even though he is supposed to for my daughter so she is in a safe environment. I just want that to be a wake up call to him possibly so my daughter isn't in danger. Also, there are pictures of him getting new tattoos when he's never paid child support. I don't want to show those pictures in hopes that they will make him pay child support, but to see that he isn't thinking of her first. I guess I just thought that it would possibly help so the courts can see how he is in his life and that he needs to be told to stop for his daughter and to finally put her first.

[deleted account]

I would say that you need solicitors advice on what pictures that you can use. Also Facebook - facts can be distorted, to varying degrees. Certainly mention to the solicitor where you've got the photos from and be honest about your concerns.

For contact, with my ex when he wanted to come back into my girls' lives, I set down the rules - started with letters and then work up to more contact. Anyway he didn't get past the letter writing stage as it wasn't happening as fast as he wanted it to, even though I told him that it had to happen at the girls' speed.

The only way to show you that he's changed is by slowly being reintroduced into your daughter's life and then working up the amount of contact he has.

As for my ex, he doesn't pay any child support (even though he should be). Currently he's hiding from the Child Support Agency (CSA), it looks like he's back in work, either self-employed, or being paid cash in hand. CSA rung me up asking for any current information that I had, said that I'd found an address on facebook that was on his wall, as I'd had a look to see if there was any indication of it. Said I didn't know if it was accurate or not, but at least something. they are still trying to confirm his current address and where/who's he working for. So far nothing.

Kelly - posted on 07/08/2012

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He needs to see his daughter.... Trust me , put your feelings aside...Facebook is Evil.... I don't even have one. Remember some people use FAcebook as an exhibition of their over exaggerated lives. You need a mediator to set aside your problems with him.

Giselle - posted on 07/08/2012

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Don't use it against him to be vindictive do it because you want what's best for your daughter. I have so much against my daughters father but there's a way to go about it.

Ever need a place to talk with other single mothers you can join my FB group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/101145780030894/

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