What about grandma...

Robyn - posted on 06/16/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

15

0

I recently posted a question about what to do with my son's father. Anyways, I have another question. What about his grandmother? She lost custody of her kids. Last time I let her watch my son, I picked him up and he reeked (like I had to wash all of his clothes and him when we got home) of cigarette smoke. Isn't it common sense to not smoke around a 4 month old, let alone any baby?
Well she texted me today, again. The previous texts were "when can I see him again". Now she picked a day and about what time when she wants to see him. I don't even know what to say back. "Hell no, you smoked in front of him, worry about getting your own kids back before you try to see mine." I wont say that but that's what I think.
I did let his father take him today. :( but i will be going to the court house in 2 days to file for custody. Now that his dad took him one day she has to see him the next. And tomorrow is Father's Day yet his father didn't ask to see him, his mother did. I can't tell what is going on. Maybe they are getting along again and he told his mom to ask so he didn't have to ask for two days in a row?
What is my problem you might be wondering, minus the fact that her kids were taken from her? My son's father and her have been fighting, well were last time I talked to her. She kicked him out of her house because he was inviting his friends to live there and he would lock his own mother out of her own home.
This is what I am thinking: my son won't be put in between their argument. They should figure it out yourselves. What happens when his father realizes she has him, gets pissed and starts another fight with her. My son will see the whole thing. Or they are getting along again and he told her to ask me instead of him having to ask two days in a row (her text came through not even 10 minutes after I got home with my son).

I don't regret having my son. I just hate dealing with these people.

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1 Comment

View replies by

Beth - posted on 06/17/2012

548

38

Visitation needs to be on your terms and your son's needs put first. In the UK, Grandparents now have rights to see their grandchildren (though not sure what level of contact is allowed). My ex in laws haven't excercised their rights to see my girls, even though in law they are techniqually allowed to unless there are very good reason(s).

It is worth getting some sort of agreement sorted between you and your ex and also between you and his Mum. That way expectations are set out of what is expected.

You could also look at meeting up with her in a neutral place where you know that her smoking would be less harmful to your son (e.g. a playcentre, park, shopping centre etc.).