What is a fair way to handle my preteen ager wanting to wear to much make up?

Jillian - posted on 05/10/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Birianna wants her own image and style. While I understand the desire and the need to have aher own self image, I feel that mascara and cover up are too much for a young girl like her. We are not making productive stands on it from either angle right now. What would you do?

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Margaret - posted on 05/16/2010

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Maybe makeup for special occasions only. My granddaughter is 8 and she wears makeup because she is in dance recitals. She likes how she looks. When she gets pics taken, she puts on mascara. When the special occasions are over with, she doesn't wear it. She loves how it looks, but we have assured her that she is much more beautiful without it. She is still allowed to put lip gloss on, but mascara is only for the dance recitals and pictures.

It's natural that our kids want to imitate us as we are growing. They watch us put on our makeup and tell us how beautiful we are. Beauty is associated with makeup. All of the commercials teach us that to look beautiful, we need makeup. (I know I do just to look presentable!)

That's a good time to teach a lesson when they are younger. Mommy didn't always wear makeup. Tell her how old you were when you started to wear it and tell her the reasons why. Don't give her the money to buy it and if she gets it from her friends, take it away. Ask her why she wants to wear makeup. Maybe she thinks she's ugly or maybe she is already trying to attract boys. Get to the root and address answers to the questions she has and maybe the desire to wear it will go away.

If that doesn't work then just plain lay down the law. She will not be allowed to wear makeup or she will be punished.

Candice - posted on 05/11/2010

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maybe you could take her to a place where they can show her how to do makeup properly for daytime. talk to some mall makeup counters in advance, address your concerns, and maybe find one that will help you out. just an idea.

Kathy - posted on 05/10/2010

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There should be consequences for her not listening to you - like she can't go out w/ friends on the weekends, or no TV, no allowance, or no special manicures together, i.e. losing a privilege.

Does the school allow make-up? If they don't care, then you can't control her getting make-up from friends or bringing it in her bag and putting it on at school. If it's a private school, they can give her detention for wearing it - just as boys get in trouble for not shaving or wearing their hair too long.

Tina - posted on 05/10/2010

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I would take the make up off her. She may complain and throw a tantrum but she'll get over it. I wouldn't ley my daughter wear mascara etc when she gets to that age I think kids grow up fast enough as it is without marketing make up and some clothes to them. It creates problems for parents, how are we meant to raise our kids decently when stores scream "dress 10 years older than you are" It's too dangerous out there for kide to be wearing make up, especially pre-teens. Maybe explain about the dangers if the wrong person sees her.

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