what is the best contreception for my 15 year old daughter?

Michelle - posted on 01/31/2011 ( 29 moms have responded )

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my daughter came to me last week and told me she has had sex with her boyfriend shes been seein for 6 months, i am upset about this obviously but also very proud ov the fact she felt like she could come to me and talk about it....i have always been very open with all 4 ov my children and some people think i am wrong for not going mad with her and punishing her.....what would that acheive?i didnt have the openness with my parents n i done things the wrong way n ended up pregnant at 17, .......i have been looking at all the different types ov contriception and i am a bit unsure what will be best for her to start using. can any one advise me on what sort ov will be best for her?

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Emily - posted on 02/01/2011

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To be honest, I think condoms should be the first priority. I know the word is gross and it can be embarrassing buying them, but to flood her young body with hormones if it's not necessary for menstrual-relief is not the best option. Also, pills don't protect against sti/std's (obviously) and there is a link between unprotected sex and cervical cancer too. If she's on birth-control pills/patches/jabs etc it may cause her to become lax about the sexual-health side of things. Her boyfriend was considerate enough to wait until she was ready, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking some responsibility when it comes to "being safe". Just something to think about :)

Christina - posted on 02/06/2011

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Vanessa, grounding their children won't make their kids stop having sex. It is going to make their children lie, sneak around, and hide the fact that they are having sex. Punishing a teenager for having sex is not practical. Once they start having sex, the likelihood of the teen stopping is slim to none. It is a good thing that their teenagers WANT to have safe sex and be responsible. As a mom, I pray that my children tell me when they have sex so I can help them protect themselves. I was a teenage mother and I don't want my kids to go through what I did.

Andrea - posted on 01/31/2011

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I was on the pill when I was 15. She just has to be responsible enough to take it every day at the same time. I have tried other birth controls, the patch, Mirena, Yaz, and orthotricyclen. The patch was very convenient, however I started having severe migraines and numbness on on side of my body. Ended up in the ER thinking I was having a stroke. Same thing happened with the Yaz. The orthotricyclen worked ok for awhile, but then started to have irregular periods. Now I am on a pill again, Monessa, which is a generic brand of I don't know what. It is the same amount of hormone every day, with no hormones for 5 days for my period. This seems to have worked the best of all. I really wish the patch worked though, it was so easy.

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Amanda - posted on 02/15/2011

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I understand using condoms because on top of birth control they have the condoms to help on not getting pregnant, how ever, condoms DO NOT keep you from getting an std. I know this for a fact, my cousin is now 20, he has used a condom everytime he has had sex. The last girlfriend he had he made sure he used one eveytime because he new she had an std. he as well thought it would help against them. his last grilfriend gave him not one but two stds.

Amanda - posted on 02/15/2011

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I would say the depo shot. A lot of people think bad of it because of what it can do to you, but if you think about it so does anyother birth control. I am 23 and use it. I use it because you dont have a menstral period. And i like that, not only I dont have to worry about dealing with that to, but in health class i learned that it is a scientific fact that when you dont have a period at all you cant ovulate. There for you dont concieve. you dont have to worry about taking the pill at the same time everyday. There is also a birth control that they insert in to your cervix, it looks just like an unbrella. The way it is set up is great becuase the u shaped parts block your ovaries so that the eggs dont get out, it is affective for 5 yrs but you can have it taken out when you want. But what I would do is study the different birth controls, the side affects and what it can do. Than pick the most affective and the less harmless.

Shannon - posted on 02/14/2011

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I think it is wonderful that you have raised your daughter to be able to come to you and talk to you about these things. She is a teenager, regardless of what anyone says you are not going to stop her from doing what she wants to do. You should be very proud of YOURSELF it sounds like you have handled this very well. What good is it going to do to get angry and try to forbid her from doing things? She is only going to rebel and that is when it could have a bad outcome. I agree that you should educate her on using condoms everytime but I also feel that she should be on bc as a back up. There are plenty of horny, impulsive adults who forget condoms so it sure as heck isn't fool proof for teens. I feel that the pill is hard to remember to always take. Nuvaring would be a good option if she isn't bothered by putting it in. There is also the patch to consider. I would not suggest an IUD or depo for a teen but that is a conversation better had with an OBGYN. I give you props for taking responsibility and talking to your daughter more parents need to use that approach. Good luck!

Alexandra - posted on 02/14/2011

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I was on the Depo and it totally ruined my body. It caused me to have PCOS, which in some women causes infertility. Personally, I don't advice anyone to get the Depo.

You need to sit down with your daughter AND her boyfriend. Explain to both of them that they both need to take some responsibility. He needs to use condoms EVERY time, NO EXCUSES, and she needs to be taking the pill every morning, like when she brushes her teeth.

Also, make sure they both understand that pregnancy is still possible, and they need to have a plan in place in case it happens despite their preventative measures.

Tammy - posted on 02/09/2011

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Definitely make an appt and see what the OB-GYN suggests for her- there are all sorts of options and the doctor and your daughter are in the best position to decide what will be best for her. When my daughter came to me about having sex (she was 18)... she went on the pill to prevent pregnancy and used condoms to protect against disease. Whatever option she choses, make sure she also uses condoms. Good luck and keep the lines of communication open!

Johanna - posted on 02/08/2011

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You should be very proud of your daughter. I never had the confidence to speak to my parents, and they never spoke to me about sex. In our family it was something that was hidden. It didnt excist. Here in Sweden the age limit is 15, but if you do have sex at 14 with a boy who is the same age is no problem as long as both wanted it.
I would say that the best thing for you is to tell your daughter to speak to a gynacologist. One thing thats very important in my eyes is that you have to be careful with the pill as you can get blood cluts. I did and i nearly lost my life....
I hope it all works out and i think it will because you seem like a mother that can have an open conversation with your child and thats a very very good thing. Be proud of yourself.

Alisha - posted on 02/07/2011

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Did you talk to her about waiting? Does she understand that she can get pregnant, STDs and heartbroken?

Rachelle - posted on 02/07/2011

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Oh and - Rules!!! They are there to be broken when I was a teenager!!! Much more fun... That is targetted at the Mrs Federal Agent!! Haven't you learnt about the power of Expectations is better than Rules!!

Rachelle - posted on 02/07/2011

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Help her to go and see what she wants to use - if she is this open discuss the different senarios - use your experience - depends how frank and open you both are... When she said she had sex, what contraception did they use??

Sonya - posted on 02/07/2011

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well when i was that age i got the implant(implannon) in me arm it lasts 3 yrs and once its in she wont need to remember to take anythin etc the 2nd one i was on was the 3 month injection which is good but have to get it every 12 weeks. . .but i think with these there are disadvantages like some people gain weight and stuff i never did until now after i had my lil one am back on the injection an my appetite has gone way up an am a size bigger ha hope that helps :D

Jeanne - posted on 02/07/2011

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thats is postive she came to you i would say take her to the doctor and see what he advises

Tracy - posted on 02/07/2011

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I would suggest taking her into the Drs, you can go together and discuss with your family Dr what your options are. The Dr also will give them all the 411 on everything else( at least they do here) Condoms as well, not only do you not want her prego, but you also dont want STDs for her either. I get that part of 6months together and they took the step of sharing each other together. Young love, think smart, keep safe!

Vanessa - posted on 02/06/2011

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Not suggesting grounding or forbidding.... I was the same at that age and couldn't talk to my mum which was worse I agree.
I have three kids and a federal agent as a hubby - we're also instilling in them that laws are there for a reason, to protect them as well.

Christina - posted on 02/06/2011

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Take her to the OBGYN, get her an exam, and have the dr prescribe something. BC pills aren't the best with teenagers as they are careless and forgetful. They don't understand the importance of taking them at the exact same time every day.

Vanessa - posted on 02/06/2011

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@roxanne
not here in australia. When you're 15 - it's simply babies having babies. have a life first. kids shouldn't be having sex unless they're ready to deal with the consequences - and no 15 year old regardless of maturity can look after a baby on their own .

Roxanne - posted on 02/05/2011

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im 15 and im on the depo shot its good most girls dont get there period on it either but my doctor told me that some girls do.

Brianna - posted on 02/05/2011

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Um first you need to make sure they are using condoms not juat for birth control but std's as well and I had the implanon put in almost a yr ago i love it you really need to talk with an OBGYN because it depends on her body Ive tried the pill and had very bad reactions to it from migraines throwing my pms was 10x's worse and ive tried the seasonal where you have a period every 3mths it was the worse i stoped having the periods 4 the mths but the next problem was when i would come on that 3rd mth i would come on for the whole mth. The implanon is easier for me because I never have to worry about missing pills or nothing the only issue i had was at first near the insertion point i had a rash at first but a couple days of putting cortizone on it it went awar and problems since other ppl i know with it havent had any issues

Barb - posted on 02/05/2011

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Nuvia Ring is really good too you don't have to worry about a pill. I wasn't always good with taking the pill when I was around your daughters age. You can't feel it you keep it in untill you get your period and take it out and put a new one in after you have not so much worry.It's great you and your daughter have that openess I hope I have that with my daughter when she is older. Also condoms would be good too just make is protected as possible hope it helps.

Vanessa - posted on 02/05/2011

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OMG are you women serious!
15 is under the age of consent. If he's 16 or over it's considered statutory rape or carnal knowledge of a minor.
Sensational that she's happy to talk to mum - yay! It'll have done her the world of good if someone wants to dob them in to police! Doesn't matter if she's a willing participant or not --- she hasn't reached the age of consent yet and can get her b/f into strife too! Advise her to wait a few months and then look into the pill and a visit to an OBGYN for her.

Telika - posted on 02/04/2011

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hey luv,my son,who is 15,has announced,well,admitted that he has been having sex for 1 yr and he's using condomns,thhough i was mad,i too was glad that he felt confident enough to admit that to me,being that we are 16 yrs apart!! i advise you to look into the pill ortho tricyclen was good for me but my sister loves the depo bc she doesnt have cycles and she takes it every 3 mos and she's 28 w/no children,she was 16 yrs old when she started the depo.think choice as well
1.she'll take it ever 3 mos
2.she won't have a cycle,which means no period,no babies
3. no excuse about i forgot bc its taken every3 mos
i plan to put my daughters on that as well,bc i forgot to take my pills alot it wasn't until my 3rd pregnancy(i have 4) that i started getting responsible.so look into that and i wish you all the best

Nicola - posted on 02/04/2011

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I had the implant when i was 16 as i had tried the pill but kept forgetting to take it all the time and fell pregnant at 16, i sadly miscarried but it shocked me into being responsible which in turn made me get the implant so i knew i was always (well 99.9% of the time) protected, i also suffered with severe period pains which this helped with and i didnt have a period for the 1st year of it being inserted which was heaven for me!! They last 3 years which is a bonus but when it come to having mine removed it wasnt as simple as getting it inserted as it needs a certain doctor to do it but i believe some GP's offer this now! Hope this helps!!

Jessica - posted on 02/02/2011

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what a great mom to have your daughter feel comfortable telling you this!! it is way better than her telling you that she is pregnant and doesn't know what to do. it sounds like you are great mom and have a responsible daughter. i would much rather have this conversation with my kid then, "hey mom, i am having a baby and i am 16!" i have no advice... i would take her to see and obgyn and talk to them. i would tell her that if she chooses to have sex then she chooses to be responsible for her reproductive health and have her get an exam and talk to the obgyn about her birth control options. i would also tell her that you don't want her to sleep around or be unhealthy in her choice to have sex.



i would also provide her with condoms!!

Sara - posted on 01/31/2011

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the pill is a good option ... but like she said below your daughter would need to be responsible for taking it daily (which was my down fall). The nuvaring is a great alternative to the pill ... you only have to remember that once a month. It was very simple to take in and out ... she of course would need to feel comfortable with herself to do this but I used this in college and loved it.

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