What is the BEST part of being a single MOM?

Mary - posted on 02/06/2010 ( 88 moms have responded )

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I just read through the "Hardest part of being a single Mom" and my heart goes out to everyone who is a single parent and posted replies as I had myself. But I read one post from someone who said, the "BEST PART" of being a single Mom .... and I was thinking that even in the darkest moments of our "single motherhood" we can see the JOYS of being a single parent. My boys are soon to be 15 and 12 and I've been a single Mom most of their lives, but was actually divorced 4 years ago. We were part of an abusive relationship and being away from that life now, with the help of the LORD, I can see so many parts of our lives that I would never take back. The best part of being a single mother to me, is the close relationship that I have with them. Because it's just you and your child or children, they only have you to depend on and trust and talk too. Don't take that for granted!! Love to hear your responses.

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Nightingale - posted on 07/01/2013

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Though there are times where I feel alone and crave the attention of the opposite sex and even foolishly feel like I want someone in my life, I have to say that the happiest moments in my life that I look back on has been while unattached and thoroughly single. I find such great joy in being a single mom and not having some man come into my home, telling me how to parent, and disrupting my perfect schedule and plan I have for my family. The way I see it, I have my kids trained just the way I like them. I have taught them, nurtured them, raised them, and molded them since birth and nothing in my eyes is more beautiful or perfect than these precious gifts.. Yet men seem to think that once they enter into the picture, they know whats best for your already perfect family and try to rearrange yours and your kids lives to suit their own. Not to mention that macho sexist caveman type personality that thinks it can treat a grown woman like a child and tell her what she can and cannot have, do, say, go... If I feel I can afford a dog for my kids, and I want a dog to protect my kids, and I am the one caring for the dog I get for my kids, why in the HE LL would I want someone in my life who tells me "NO" on my wants, then turns around and does what they want with the excuse that they are the man of the house? Did I not turn 18? Did I not have children of my own?Graduate school? Leave my parents and form my own house hold? Graduate? Become a voting adult member of society? So why is it that men think they can treat a grown woman like a child and give her no say in anything?

Not to mention, being a single mom means way more time for your kids,less stress on having the PERFECT home, and dinner, laid out for the man, and more say so on how your kids are raised.. Every guy I have dated has felt that their is something wrong with my son, that he isnt "boy" enough.. just because he hates sports, cars, and has shown very little interest in girls or friends, and clings to education, science, math and yugioh? I encourage my children to be who they want to be in life and dont push them to be what I think they should be in life.. Men tend to think a boy has to be just as macho as they are or they are somehow flawed.. My kids and I are more close than two parent households kids are with their parents...

Just my opinion on what I feel makes single parents lives easier and better.

Holly - posted on 02/08/2010

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I agree, after leaving my husband I realized I was already a single mom due to his lack of involvement and now my daughter and I are even closer because Im not angry with daddy all the time and we have the best time together, just me and her being girls and I love that she will learn that she needs no man to survive

Monica - posted on 02/19/2014

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The best part of being a single mom is, for me, looking at my two sons and seeing that they're growing up to be good young men. They have their moments, but overall they're good kids and they try very hard to do their best at everything they do. It feels gratifying to know that even though their father wasn't there, and even though it was difficult at times, all the effort I put in paid off.

Milet - posted on 08/27/2011

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I am so glad I opened this post, it has made me feel so much stronger and more confident. The best part of being a single mom for me, is I get to share my bed with my 2 and a half year old daugter every night, I wake up to her sweet face and a wonderful feeling of gratefulness every morning. i have my little girl next to me every night and I prefer it that way. No crouchy man in the morning when me or my daughter decides or need to sleep close together. I get all the smiles, hugs and kisses and "I love you's". I get to say I did that, I protected her, i taught her everything she knows and i am the one who gets to be part of everything that happens to her. And i get to know the greatest, most special and wonderful person ever, everyday of her life. Her dad is around sees her most weekends, but those little special times are mine to be grateful for. And I get to give unconditional love as I have always wanted to to someone who completely deserves it and is worth it! Thanks to all you ladies.

Anne - posted on 06/13/2011

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For me it is the sense of peace in the house, the peace me and my kids create. The other vibe that was not peaceful is no longer there.

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Charisse - posted on 02/12/2014

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The best part being single parent is you had time for your child and having close relationship and can build friendship between my child in the near future eventhough she is only 3 months old,thanks to my parents there are here to assist/help me to raise my child and understanding my situation, everything happens for a reason hoping my child understand in the future why all this happens....

Jaze - posted on 02/11/2014

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At first I thought it would be very hard to be a single mom. But everytime I see my daughters smile, or they will kiss me and hug me all of my worries were gone. I'm an emotional personal, a drama queen what they say... hahahaha!!! But spending time with my little princesses is the most amazing thing that happen to me.

Jaze - posted on 02/11/2014

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At first I thought it would be very hard to be a single mom. But everytime I see my daughters smile, or they will kiss me and hug me all of my worries were gone. I'm an emotional personal, a drama queen what they say... hahahaha!!! But spending time with my little princesses is the most amazing thing that happen to me.

Nightingale - posted on 07/08/2013

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I read all these happy post about being a single mom,even through the struggles, and feel so saddened by the post I see on yahoo answers of all those who are going out to have abortions because of this very same fear.. If only they knew the joys of being a single mom and having little arms wrap around your neck, trusting you completely, the peace of no domestic disputes, and all the mommy I love you's you could ever dream of.

Cey - posted on 07/01/2013

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I am newly a single mom....but then again I am a new mom in general. My son is just 8 months old and dad is in and out of his life already so I have chosen to be a full single mom to eliminate the "drama" and inconsistencies when my son is old enough to understand. It is HARD because I am an emotional person but when spending time with my son, its the best feeling and I wouldn't trade it for the world. The way my sons eyes light up when I come home, brings some calm to my world and lets me know everything will be Juuuust fine :-)

Princess - posted on 06/28/2013

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Hi my name is Princess and I just became single mom it is hard for me since I was married for 11 years and now I have to be on my with my wonderful children. I have 3 girls and 1 son but my home is very peaceful. Cause I do not like the drama.

Dawda - posted on 07/14/2012

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hey,
my name is dawda,am Gambian nationality,28yrs of age,i was rise by a single mom,so i know how it feel about.i thank my mum for rising up to this standard,through lucky ,got father when i around 19yrs old,love as his own child,love that i have never expect in my love,so i feel the same way to single mum trying to rise one or two of their own.
am interested in making friendship and sharing ideas,coz i know how it fell for the mothers.anyone one interested you can mail me at(dawda_jaiteh@hotmail.com)we will really get in touch.
take care,
dawda

Tracy - posted on 11/15/2011

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I think the best part to being a single mom is...taking the single out of mom and just saying I am a great mom!! I have always been a great mom, with or with out my husband. I think the relationship I have with my ex, makes me a better mom. There is no more yelling, no more angry, no more tears. Although my family is no longer together as 1 unit, I beleive the best thing I did for us all, is ask dad to leave.
I think the best part about being a mom is the overwhelming feeling of pride I get from my kids. When I hear someone compliment their behaviour or manners, its like a pat on my back, im doing a great job. I have 4 girls, our house has estrogen galore :)lol

Daniele - posted on 11/14/2011

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Hi! I just started up a group called "Mom's Fair" kind like an online second hand place where you can have your own photo album there with photos of used but in good condition things like clothes,toys,shoes,strollers  from your infant/toddler/kids that you might want to sell to other moms or even exchange. Please join us and invite other moms friends with you to join us as well. Here is the link to the group and thank you so much! http://www.facebook.com/groups/146728462...

Carolyn - posted on 11/13/2011

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Hands down: being able to have ice cream for dinner occasionally, have dress up parties (and just be girls), and sing Britney, Aqua, and Disney in the car without having to ever answer to any man!!!

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I enjoy the close relationship I have with my child. Being single (out of relationship) and primary residential parent since my daughter was preverbal (10 years), I do appreciate being able to make decisions about her care on my own. I hope eventually to be in a relationship that is respectful to both her and me, but in the meantime, I appreciate learning from her as she grows. My bond with her is a bit stronger because for 2 years she endured cancer treatment and I was her primary caregiver, administering her medications, taking her to outpatient treatments, ER, etc., so the biggest challenge for us now as she is preteen is to loosen that "mama bear" grip and let her fly.

Kimmy - posted on 08/28/2011

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I enjoy the fact that I get to decide how to raise my son and I don't have to compromise with someone else on how he is raised. I also love the fact that I don't have to send him off everyother weekend or on holidays!

Michelle - posted on 08/27/2011

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The best part - you don't miss a thing! You're there to witness so many moments, some of which you would miss if you were taking turns watching the kids with the Dad. Each time one of my kids smile or tell me thank you, it makes all of the hard, tiring moments worth it!

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2010

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If u feel u need a life...I think it'svery healthy to have a hobby. It makes me feel myself and not only my baby's mom.

Hazel - posted on 02/22/2010

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the best part of being a single mom....well, the fact that i'm raising my kid alone makes me feel proud of myself more...it's a difficult task to be a mom and dad at the same time and pulling this thru, wow...isn't it amazing???

Margaret - posted on 02/21/2010

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Having my daughter is the best part of being a single mom. I love that I am the one that gets to be the awesome parent at Christmas and her birthday that makes it all wonderful. I love that she cries for me when I drop her at daycare to go to school or work. I love that she asks me to hold her- she is 3- Her father will never have that with her. She has been my joy since I found out I was pregnant, before i knew I would be raising her all on my own. I named her Joylynn. Forever my JOY!

Maureen - posted on 02/21/2010

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Best part - I have learned to stop and smell the roses. MY home is now one of peace - without the constant frustrations of a marriage gone bad. I can do with my kids what I want, I can enjoy them - not having to focus on trying to salvage a bad marriage. This is so much in focus for me right now as I have 4 teenagers - I don't want to miss 1 thing in the coming years as I know the days when they will be leaving for college are looming on the horizon.

Kathryne - posted on 02/20/2010

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It is very hard being a single mom, especially with no support what so ever. I also have a ton of health issues. But when I see their smile and hear their laughter, it is the best thing in the world. My daughter is 6 and my son is 4. And the unconditional love I always feel from my kids fills my heart. When I get sick, they are always concerned, and constanly ask if I will get better, or if I will be ok. My son is a snuggler, and he just loves to sit next to me and let me just hold him. If only i could do that all day and night.

Kim - posted on 02/20/2010

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I think the best part about being a single mom is knowing that when they are happy you made that happen, when they are sad you are the one that can make them feel better, they will always come to you and the joy you feel in your heart when that happens is the best thing in the whole world!!!

JoAnn - posted on 02/19/2010

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To me, the hardest part about being a single mom is the fact that my daughter doesn't fully understand ahy her dad and I aren't together anymore. She's not quite to the asking "doesn't daddy love/want me" or anyting like that but she knows that something isn't right between her dad and me. Also is the factor that she doesn't get to see her dad much due to his work schedule. But the best part of being a single mom is the fact that she is with me everyday. Her actions towards me shows me how much she loves me...ie... she is really big into Go Diego Go and walmart had a three pack of animals for $5 so I bought them for her over a month ago. She carries them with her all day everyday.... in the bathtub, to bed, to the store, ect. I ask her why she loves them so much and her reply is "because you bought them for me mommy. Thank you for buying them for me (as she lightly taps my face). I love you mommy." She has helped me through the most difficult year that I ever faced, between my husband and I splitting up and the death of my grandmother. I thank GOd everyday for my little miracle baby.

Desiree - posted on 02/18/2010

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the best part is knowing every milestone, every accomplishment, everything he's learned... was from me. i was there, i helped, i taught.

Amber - posted on 02/17/2010

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This is evil, but I love that when dip sh!t decides to show up, my baby wants nothing to do with him... IVE worked my arse off making this baby feel happy secure comfortable and she knows I will be here for her no matter what. She will play with him, but the minute a boo boo comes along, she KNOWS momma will make it better, and thats when doing everything alone, makes me realize how great im doing.

I love love love the cuddle time too, bad, but I pull her into bed with me once a week.. why cause i can, cause its just me and her. :) I love it!

Darlene - posted on 02/16/2010

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I agree. The best part is the close relationship that you and your child(ren) develop. They get more of you because, well, we are all each other has. I was in an abusive relationship also. Now our home is peaceful, loving, and extremely happy. I had to do everything when I was married that I do now, plus I had to cater to him. Now, I can use that time to get closer to my children. I know their best friends, their favorite teachers, what they like and dislike. They know they have to pitch in and help. I think that makes them more responsible. They also learn what can be accomplished if you really work hard and try.

Amy - posted on 02/15/2010

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I feel the best part of being a single mom is proving to the world that women are very strong and we can take anything life deals us, head on!

CYNTHIA - posted on 02/15/2010

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the best part of being a single mom is that you can decide everything about your kids without having to ask an opinion or suggestion from their father... and i enjoy my freedom about almost everything...

Cyndy - posted on 02/15/2010

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My daughter is 14 and she is a really good kid! The best part of being a single parent is I'm the one that has been there for the events in her life (whether it's to listen to her when she has a problem with a friend or when she gets her report card home and has great grades again AND I have had 98% of the holidays with her). I think it has also brought a lot of consistency to our home. The best thing though is that I think our relationship is much closer because it has been just us.

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I LOVE being a single Mom!!! I enjoy my boys without any dark clouds. My boys were 1 1/2, 3 1/2 and 11 when I became a single Mom for the second time. They are now 8, 10 and almost 19 and I would not change a thing!!!

Liz - posted on 02/14/2010

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Hi Mary, Wow..it seems like you and I lived the same life.. I was also in a abusive marriage..am a single mom now with 5 kids..add have also been divorced 4 years.. I certainly agree with you..there are sooooo many things that I can say are the best things about being a single mom!! I was never allowed to have a relationship with my sons, was accused of sleeping with them etc etc...some sick stuff!! So that definately is the best..I have 3 sons and 2 daughters...and the 6 of us are closer then ever before!! It was purely with God's help, grace and mercy that we could get out of it..I know today that I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for Him...and for each and everyone of my 5 children. Their ages are 21, 17, 13, 8 and 6...and I love each one of them with all my life. Have never looked back since we've been on our own..and can now not imagine what it was like in that life!! It seems like Dad has just wiped out every bad memory..and replace them with awesome ones since we've been on our own!!!! We talk for ours..sometimes about the silliest things..and laugh..and just enjoy each other all the time..when we have our glitches...it takes one hug for us to just bridge the gap again...pray together and all is good again!!! I love my life as a single mom, wouldn't want my old life back again!!! And look forward to every day with my kids...even the tough ones are better than what we had before!!!! I can honestly write a book on it.. :-).. Love every moment you have as a single mom!!! Enjoy them!! Let go of all hurt and anger...allow God to heal you and be the best mom you can be!! It can only get better and better !!!

LaShonda - posted on 02/14/2010

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The best part of being a mother is not having to deal with aggraving and arrogant men who don't no anything but the clubs and the streets and their friends. Being a single mother is a wonderful thing for some people but it can get stressful at time with diciplining them. Trying to make sure that they are doing what they are suppose to do in school and at home trying to keep them out of trouble and what ever else kids get into when they are growing up and learning.

Tamaren - posted on 02/14/2010

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The BEST thing about being a single mom is for me, the way my daughter,9, and my son,12 ,are just as proud of me for my accomplishments as I am of theirs. We're a team, conquering diffiiculties and reveling in the good times together. My children are my biggest responsiblity, but they are also my greatest joy....my silver lining if you will.

Diane - posted on 02/14/2010

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The best part of being a single mom is that they give me all the credit for them becoming responsible and successful adults. Yes, we had our hard times, but the good times far outnumber them. I have letters from them over the years thanking me for being their mom. My one son told me that he knows he has the best mom in the world just by seeing how other parents are with their children. We still have a relationship that could withstand anything! Love them to death.

Sharon - posted on 02/14/2010

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This is very true Mary being a single mum has its peaks,i am very close to my girls they are my best friends so it makes it easy to advice them on a lot of things and they know i am there for them anytime making them happy and confident girls.Always ask the Lord to guide you and a book called The Power of A Praying Parent By Stormie Omartian or The Book Of Prayer they have helped me through the hard times.

Siobhan - posted on 02/13/2010

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Yes being a single mum is hard but at least when you look at your child and how happy and bright they are you know thats all your doing. No one else can take credit for that. Also I think the bond between a single parent and their child is a lot stronger because your both mother and father.

Jamie - posted on 02/13/2010

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I love being a single mother! I am thankful, as you stated, that God helped me (by giving me strength) to go through my divorce. It is probably the hardest decision I had to make to know I was taking the step to seperate our family to where the girls dont' always have both their father and I around at all times, but I did it because I did not want my girls to grow up thinking that how their father and I were with each other was how a marriage should be.

Esmeralda - posted on 02/13/2010

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I left my daughter when she was only 6weeks old to work in abroad and to have a better chance of life. Haaayyyy....I love my daughter Sofia Anne- Our kids are wonderful gift of love and life! Even her father turns back his side against us and supposed do his responsibilities as the father but NOT! it's ok...coz God works for good of those Who loves him...I trust God every single moment of mylife, because I am far from my daughter. She is in Manila-Asia and I am in Sudan-Africa. And nothing I could hold on is only God's promises. A future that will never harms her but gives her HOPE! Single Mom, we can do it until the end of struggle!!! Love you all. mommy ez

Lola - posted on 02/13/2010

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Not having to share him, he is sooo cute and loveable I want all to myself XD

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I have been a single mother of twins from the word go (my girls are nearly 12) and I have loved being able to have my girls all to myself!! I get to decide everything that happens and that doesn't happen in our everyday lives and I feel free and empowered by this experience!! My toughest experience so far has been finding love and then loosing it! I met a man 4 years ago and jumped into a relationship with him as all my friends said that if I didn't give this a go I would never have the courage to do it with anyone else. It didn't last long but while he was around it was good, it just was the wrong time in his life and so it had to end and at the end of it all I had three broken hearts to mend. I have been single since and my goal now is to just continue to enjoy my girls and my freedom.

Yolonda - posted on 02/12/2010

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I agree with you on that the closeness. It is strange to feel that you don't know what to do with your self when you children are away. What I mean is when they go to spend the night at their cousins place I feel alittle lost I don't know what to make myself to eat ( because the children usually tell me what they want) I can't think of any thing for myself to do (because the children need help with homework or want to play games with me) , so I usually try to watch a movie ,but I just end up going to bed. Do I need a life?

Christie - posted on 02/12/2010

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I was so worried at first, I had a newborn and a five year old. It was a struggle to get out of the gloom. It's been 4 years since then and it was a hard road, but I would take it again in a heartbeat. I am in control, I don't have to worry about depending on anyone else to provide for My family because I do it. My girls and I have excellent quality time together. It is because of them that I am where I am today, and I thank God every day for blessing me with such sweet girls.

Therese - posted on 02/12/2010

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The best part of being a single mom is that you know your children are safe , you are the only one disciplining them, you handle the budget in other words , you are in control of your children 's destiny. You can spend all the time in the world doing things together. I know that I have a poor self esteem, poor choice of men, so being alone, I learned to become independent, my sons are now 33 and 26, we have a good relationship, they know how hard things were, but there was no conflict, it was peaceful, I would never get involved too deeply till my children were ready to leave on their own accord, the fact that I was able to work, get a degree and raise 2 beautiful men on my own makes me feel proud, there were some good times, some bad times, my sons were never deprived, they are still the apple of my eye.

Kris - posted on 02/12/2010

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I have to say that the bond my daughter and I have - even as we entered into the teen years - is the best part of being a single mom. Call me selfish, but I don't have to share her time. Yes! *L*

Lydia - posted on 02/12/2010

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I have never been married myself but I can prove that there is joy and happiness in being a single parent ... but that doesn't mean that there aren't any downsides to it as well,,,

Kellie - posted on 02/11/2010

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One of the best bits for me is: Now my eldest two are nearly 17 and 20,I look at them and am so proud of the young adults that they have become(all their warts and all!).They really are nice people,and to top it off I had an input into their morals and thoughts of the world!!. How cool are us mums with these great new generation of adults??

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I go to my son's football practices and games....but I'm not the only Mom there....there tends to be a core group of parents who attend and stay for whole time and we chat it up to socialize! I think it's so awesome - and a great way to build a network of new friends :)

Shelly - posted on 02/11/2010

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The BEST part of being a single Mom for me has been the fact I have been able to raise my son the way I want him to be, not like his Dad. Yet, the fact waking up to see my son's sweet smile in the morning, to picking him up from daycare and seeing him run to me with such a big hug! More importantly last few months or so, he tells me often he loves me so very much. My son is 4 in half years old, I have been raising him as a single Mom since he was 8 months old. Your story is much like mine also, I was in an abusive relationship also. Luckily now, I am in a great loving relationship that loves my son like his own, and I couldn't ask for anything better!

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I LOVE the freedom to make all the choices - don't have to check in with anyone, don't have to negotiate behind the scenes to present a united front.....don't have anyone else to raise but my fabulous son who is a complete blessing in my life :)

Tracy - posted on 02/11/2010

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For me the best part of being a single mom is that close bond I have with my daughter (she's 12). She knows that I'm there for her all the time. We do have our stubbling blocks but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It has also made me much more organized and I've realized that there is nothing that I can't do in life. Just remember to love every moment because they grow up so fast.

Katie - posted on 02/11/2010

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I love being able to raise her the way I think is good for her, the "father" and I had arguements before she was born and I left her about ways to raise her. And I love just knowing that she will always know that I am there to support her and guide her and that you don't need a man to live a wonderful life

Victoria - posted on 02/11/2010

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I agree single motherhood is rewarding and I agree I like to answer just to myself and don't have bicker with anyone on hard to raise her. Its not an easy job but I do the best I can for my three year old daughter. There are days I am really stressed and wished I had help from the dad, but realize it will come time, when he is more mature to handle being in our daughter's life. I love her just growing positively knowing she has a strong mother by her side no matter what! With God, we have made together through a lot and have a bright future to look forward too as well! Thanks for any of your comments and replies!

Constences - posted on 02/11/2010

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The best part of being a single MOM is the 110% love & respect I get from my two boys, ages 18 & 9. I am not an easy or pamperin' mother, I am a strict & "take nothing less than the best you can do" kind of mom and my boys love me and TELL me & SHOW me they love me everyday even though, even when I've done wrong. They are the MEN in my life that hug me daily, kiss me daily & tell me "I love you MOM" everyday. My boys open doors, pull out chairs, and they are the first to aid anyone one in need, children, women, the elderly and animals. My boys are the happy ones at a gatherin' or family get-together, they are the two who leave a lasting impression on folks and I hear back later in one way or another, "Your boys are the kindest & gentlest souls!" "Your boys are the most handsome & most polite young men I have seen in a long time." When I hear these kind words about my boys, it takes my breath away everytime.

I cherish my children more than life itself & I would do anything for them, but I enjoy teaching them to do for themselves, because I know one day I will not walk this earthly realm w/ them & my greatest joy would be for them to continue to be the men that I raised & to remember me and honor me in that way.

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