What is the hardest part about being a single mom?

Lakisha - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 1382 moms have responded )

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my question is basically asking what would make being a single parent easier in your opinion; what is lacking in your life pertaining to rising your kid(s) by yourself?

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Jovan - posted on 01/08/2010

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I forgot to add.. THE BEST part is having them all to myself at the end of the day! And theyll always know i worked very hard to give them everything!

Jovan - posted on 01/08/2010

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I feel the hardest part is when you have a headache or your tired. And there is no one to help you! I have 2 kids and their dad is in prison. So i do everything alone! Right now the hardest thing is when my son (4) asks where his daddy is. And why cant we go to his house.

Destiny - posted on 01/08/2010

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I think the best part of being a single mom is that I get to choose how things are done. How discipline is done, daily schedule, religion and beliefs.. There's nobody there to disagree with how I do things. Yet again, it would be easier to be the multi-tasking dinner making, laundry washing mom if I had the father to ask help from whether it's brushing teeth while I do dishes, or making sure homework gets done while I cook dinner. But single moms are strong women and what upsets me the most is the fathers that dont know what it's like. Here's a woman trying to be superman to get everything done and the father might have to try that on weekends when works done and school is out. But in my case, about once a year he will say he wants to see her, which just adds stress considering she doesn't even know who he is. Those men don't respect us single moms enough, Spend a week doing what we do!

Sarah - posted on 01/08/2010

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To me the worst part is financial.My girls are about to be 11 and 14 so I don't have to bathe and dress and feed them etc. and they are old enough to be a big help in the house. The downside is now thay want more expensive things and their school wants field trip money and band rentals and science projects. My kids are very understanding but it hurts me to not be able to give them all I think they should have.

Candice - posted on 01/08/2010

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honestly i cant say their is another thing thats missing in are lifes with me being asingle mother i love it i wouldnt change it. I dont think haveing a partner would change anything other then more stress in a persons life sometimes its just better to do it on ur own and know that u can do it on ur own just shows how stronge of a person u are yes it changes things in ur life alot more then u wanted but that was a choose u made when u choose to be a parent even if u didnt choose it on ur own thats just the way life goes and honestly i think we should all be happy with where we are today with our selfs and are children cause u have all done well and still are i mean my child is only 6 months but still i learnted alot in my younger years so just in joy the bonds u have with ur children and be proud cause ur children will grow up knowing what great parent they have even if the other parent isent in the picture. also lots of u may not have ur partners or family to talk to but their are always friends and community things in ur areas that u can go to for help and support and just for those ruff times and i understand sometimes u just need a break from ur children and u cant have that break makes it a little hard but just rember how time flys when u wont want those breaks and ur kids will want them away from u they grow so fast.. so make every moment with ur children last as if it where ur last.

Chanel - posted on 01/08/2010

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some alone time without the kids sometimes even if it's just 30 minutes to an hour

Claire - posted on 01/08/2010

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im a single mum and my sons dad pro sees him twice a year but i have a great new boyfriend who loves my son to bits and always helps me with him,when im tired he will look after him whilst i have asleep etc, you will find the right man soon that will love you and you child (ren)! i found it hard at first to look after him and sometimes i still do but there is help out there for you,your never on your own xxxx

Lydia - posted on 01/08/2010

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Well 4 me It was money but now it is the love I have 4 my child and wanting 2 protect them from Life cruelness and allowing them 2 make mistakes.

Patricia - posted on 01/07/2010

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the hardest part for me is not being able to walk outside for 5 minutes to catch my breath. i love my kids to death, and i am the only one here for them but being 21 with a 2 year old and a 9 month old isnt easy. so i would say not having that extra help, that would be nice.

Nastasha - posted on 01/07/2010

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I draw my strength from God w/o him i would crumble cause being a single mom is very, very hard.

Jenna - posted on 01/07/2010

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The support from her father: financial support, emotional support, parental support. The nights where my daughter doesn't want to go to bed until 1:30 a.m. when I have to be up at 9 a.m. the following morning are difficult and make me resent the fact that her father has gotten to sleep all night every single night since she was born and that it doesn't bother him that I'm over here doing this alone. It's completely worth it in the end, because she's the most amazing gift I've ever received. But it's not easy not having that support.

Katlynn - posted on 01/07/2010

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for me its not having someone around so that i can get a little break or some time to myself, especially when my daughter is cranky, it would be nice to have some one ot pass her off to it would be easyer to get the simple things done like cooking, cleaning, havin a shower, or even some peace adn quite

Ashlee - posted on 01/07/2010

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The hardest thing handsdown is the fact that single moms do what was meant to b done by a team, by a partnership and unfortunatly for us the father often times sees the split up as some sort of freedom from responsibility. As if somehow when they aren't forced to b a father 100 percent of the time it's alright for them to Gradually quit being a father all together. Another difficulty is dating. It's almost impossible to find someone that cares about u and ur child equally that u also have feelings for. It seems to always b two out of the three things necesary in order to have a healthy relationship

Heather - posted on 01/07/2010

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The hardest part of being a single mom Would have to be money their never any and time between work and the baby yuor always spreading yourself thin but then charlie( my son) calls for me ( he calls me mama) with a big smile on his face and i know everything will be just fine.

Jacklyn - posted on 01/07/2010

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I have to say, I do have a great kid (most of the time) for me its being the disiplinarian. My son goes to his dads every other weekend and when hes there they play all day, no set bedtime and he always has someone there to help him out. But when he comes home its back to rules and routine so he acts up for me. I have a hard time trying to keep my cool and gets the rules to stick.

Amber - posted on 01/07/2010

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I think the hardest part about being a single mom for me has been feeling like it's never enough. There's never enough money, I don't play enough, I'm not patient enough because I'm exhausted from work and school. I'm not the "fun" parent, I'm the disciplinarian. If I do it one way, his dad does it better another way. The list goes on and on. Nothing has given me a bigger complex than having a kid. Lol. It's exasperating sometimes.....but all worth it when he comes up to me at the most random times and say "Mom I love you." Than nothing else matters.

Phi - posted on 01/07/2010

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you need a really good childcare situation, for me it is trying to juggle everything and still get me time, i dont have my mom or her father to take her when i am feeling a little nutty you also need to be a lot tougher on your kid than normal becasue they have to be more independant and self dicaplined not just now but in the futre but the worst part is people judging you because of little things like you forgot to put socks on your kid it is always either childless people or parents with a partner that do this but i like to make them feel like crap for placing judgment on me after all i am doing in on my own, and i am proud of my self because she is happy and healthy and super smart,

Rachelle - posted on 01/07/2010

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I have been a single mom for pretty much 12 years; which is how old my daughter is now and went to school when she was 18months old to become a learning assistant teacher . I feel like I lost out on the special childhood milestones that one would get because I had to be the sole provider. I occassionally get frustrated having to pull the full weight of every aspect of ones life. I get exhausted and irritated having to do it on my own. Even with the help of family and friends, you are still doing the job yourself at the end of every day. I thank God for his love and faithfulness in my life, cause I couldn't do it without him. It wasn't meant to be this way, but you have to do everything you need to in order to provide for your child(ren) and self. Perhaps some day, I will be blessed with a husband who truly loves my daughter and I.......

Becky - posted on 01/07/2010

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I think the hardest part is having to be the bad guy. My ex is the fun one b/c he is only a parent every other weekend. I have them all the rest of the time and have to make them brush their teeth, take baths, do homework, get along, go to bed, etc. Sometimes it would be nice if someone else was here to help with that...although I am super thakful for my church and my parents...(although we are two hours from my parents).

January - posted on 01/07/2010

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Doing it by myself! Sometimes as moms we need a break and if there's no one there to help, we become stress.

Melyssa - posted on 01/07/2010

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It gets to be a struggle at times with money. I support my daughter and I on my income from me working full time at a hospital. It stinks at times knowing that the system has failed my daughter by not being more active in getting her "father" to pay child support. But in the long run, I know that when she looks back, she will see that I busted my butt off for us to be healthy and happy. I am happy to know that she loves me regardless of how much money we have

Sherenda - posted on 01/07/2010

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for me the hardest thing about being a single parent is that fact that I do it all alone. I do have a lot of help from my mom but I am the one that is there for him. I rarely never have a break unless he is napping or asleep. and naps come few and far inbetween. i have a 3 yr old and nap times hardly exist anymore. I am also in school and trying to find a job. i try and talk to other parents about how to be more patient with a preschooler but honestly i have no single parent friends so they have no idea as to what I am going through. i hate the fact that i am a single parent just because he asks where is daddy, mommy i want daddy. i mean how do you explain to a 3 yr old that their daddy wants nothing to do with him. i don't like lying especially to him but i dont know what else to tell him. single parenting is something i don't like to do but i do it because i know i am raising my son the way i want and he is happy and healthy and thats all that matters to me.

Vlatka - posted on 01/07/2010

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još jedna samohrana majka koja se dosta teško nosi sa tom pozicijom , od svega mi naj više nedostaje druga polovica pogotovo kada je meleni bolestan .

Veronica - posted on 01/07/2010

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It is not easy because you had the role of Mum and Dad.In long term They will remenber all you sacrifices,thank you for it It is worth it.

Zandi - posted on 01/07/2010

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never having back up/help!!! when i get off work i hardly get time to rest, have to feed her, play with her, bathe her, then wash her bottles, prepare her feeds for next day and before you know it the evening is over. and you know sometimes they are cranky so you have to do all this trying to calm her down alone. by the time its weekend you're so done and feel you haven't given the baby enough time, you kinda lose your social life. i personally also feel like my life HAS to be about her cos i am all she has, so its almost impossible to think of dating, or hanging out with others much.

like someone says, when dad shows up, all he does is play with her which is really not much.

Sherry - posted on 01/07/2010

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this is true we woman are strong men are cowards they could not do what we do and our kids respect that in us because they see how much we try and thats how they learn
we are there roll modles and mentors don't worry be happy girly.

Rhian - posted on 01/07/2010

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i have always found being a single mother better than being with the partner. i know sometimes it gets lonely but id rather be lonely than arguments if u know what i mean. everyday knowing i have my handsom baby running round like a little monster life cant get any better. money sometimes gets a little tight and sometimes u despritly need a break just think how independant u are and keep fighting till the end. its the besr reward ever to see how quick they develop and knowing u did it all by yourself. chinup girly

Janice - posted on 01/07/2010

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Having her wonder why Daddy dont live with us and the emotional support that a spouse can give you when they are sick or having a rough time,

Ashley - posted on 01/07/2010

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The hardest part being a single mom of a baby boy who's father is not around is trying to raise a child without a father figure.. being both mom and dad, i can do that. paying bills and being on time, i can manage. I can do everything but literaly be both mom and dad.

Sally - posted on 01/07/2010

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My ex husband was useless! I love being a single mum, i work and have more money and freedom from being told what to do. My mum moved in with us which is a massive help, but even if she hadn't i'd still love being my own boss. I do wonder sometimes what it must be like to have a loving partner but all i see is couples arguing which is bad for kids. I have 2 very happy children, a boy 11 and girl 6, both are very clever and have tons of friends, we go on 4 holidays a year and they miss out on nothing, they have both made it clear they don't want a step dad ever. Kids aren't little forever so enjoy every minute. My ex does not see my son as he was very mean to him as a baby, i had my daughter via a private clinic, so single motherhood second time around was by choice, im also planning baby number 3. I think we are as close as we are because of being a single mum, plus, the men i've had in my life i wouldn't want my son to use them as an example! X

Elaine - posted on 01/07/2010

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i find the hardest is that i have been supporting my child my self for te last 6 years and i find what hurts the most is mammy is the worst in the world when she cant afford something and they might not see daddy for weeks and he cmes and takes the child for a while spoils te child making you looking bad and making you feel like shit but what i cal it is buying the childs love but thy soon will grow out of tht and wil see wat there mam has done for them untl thn i will hve to grin and smile

Michelle - posted on 01/07/2010

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Everyone of these posts are right on. Having to always be the disciplinarian, only one income, always being the only one to have to leave work when someone gets sick, no breaks, and the sadness my kids feel by not having their daddy around all the time. I can only say "daddy's not here, but he loves you" and somehow that just isn't enough. It is very hard for me to have as much fun also. I have 2 kids, so teaching them both to ride bikes, keeping up with both at the zoo, taking them swimming, going on vacation, and even play dates are very hard if not impossible with two kids vs one mom. We manage because we have to. It's not easy.

Amanda - posted on 01/07/2010

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The toughest thing for me is the lack of support and family. I live 3 hours away from my family and I have no lic or a vehicle. Everything else for me is a breeze because I see the smiles on my boys faces and I get the kisses, hugs and I love you's. Other then the the only other tough thing I can think of is that my 3 yrs old father cannot see he is not healthy to be in his son's life and just won't walk away and leave us alone!

Patricia - posted on 01/07/2010

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wow Tara!! great perspective!! I agree with you completley!! ur awesome keep up the gud work girl!

Patricia - posted on 01/07/2010

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well i wud have to say that im pretty lucky as far as family support. My family and her fatherz family are incredible to me and my daughter including aunts uncles and cousins. She is very well connected to all of her family and very much adored. as they say "it takes a village"I think for me wats lacking is her loser fatherz child support check!! I'm blessed with a great job and do ok but any bit wud help. On the other hand its a great feeling and sense of accomplishment to be able to provide for my little shuga

Andrea - posted on 01/07/2010

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the hardest part about beieng a single mom is trying to be the dad to a son. trying to raise him to be a man when there is not an example around,no father, grandfather uncels, nobody! and there wasnt one when i was growning up so you have to take what you have learned over your adult year about men and apply it. and you cant just ignore that there is not a male example because then he will be to soft and will be girly. and that is not right. well that is what i think

Tara - posted on 01/07/2010

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i think if you are strong by yourself which most of us are and don't know it you can handle any situation...i believe that everything happens for a reason. i dont know what that reason is but i am a strong single mother and I have always been able t handle my own. i go to work every day and i feed my kids every day...all three of my children have constant smiles on their little faces and they get what they want and deserve. my two big girls are A students on the honor roll. I dont know how, but i think it is by the grace of god. I do wish i had a partner because then i would get a break sometimes but i don't so I handle it... some might say I have made my bed and now i am lying in it with pride and dignity... but in a nut shell all it really takes is a lil strength extra love and attention and good organizational skills...

Shelley - posted on 01/07/2010

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Never getting a break. I love my daughter but I wish I could be more than a mommy somedays (I might be able to find her a step daddy if I could!!)

Emily - posted on 01/07/2010

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the hardest part about being a single parent is finding the work life balance. my child is in school, nearly high school, and i have to work out what i will sacrifice, to make sure dinner is on the table, time to cook vs healthy meal.



but i still think it is easier. there is no one else you have to answer to and all the call is all yours.



it defintitely gets easier once they are in school

Sara - posted on 01/07/2010

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In a lot of ways being a single parent is easier, lonely but easier. You don't have 2 compete with any1 else on how the "best" way 2 do things are. You get 2 make all the rules. You don't have 2 worry about any1 under-minding your authority. You know what 2 expect. No worrying about the kids playing 1 parent against the other.(@ least @ home) It just depends on the over all look @ the involvement of the the of parent, family ect. The better the support system the easier it is.

Anna - posted on 01/07/2010

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One piece of advice I give is: to sleep when your baby sleeps.

One hard thing is: How do I take care of my son when I am sick???

Debbie - posted on 01/06/2010

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Being a single parent certainly has its moments, I've been a single parent going on three years and I have no regrets! It can be trying at times, I'm currently studying at Uni, I work part time (casual) and I somehow manage to be a full time mum amongst it all. My youngest is 3.5yrs and my oldest is 8 both boys, my boys are my inspiration, they inspire me to do better and be a better mother. It also helps that the boys father is very much in their lives and they stay with him a couple times a week, which gives me my time. I feel its very important for any single parent to have their own time, we are not supermums! I take my hat off to all the single parents out there, it is hard work, but they are so worth it!

Janice - posted on 01/06/2010

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Having someone to talk to when you are doubting your decisions re the kids I can talk to friends and stuff but I means some else who has only got the kids interests at heart

Christina - posted on 01/06/2010

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Financial resources would make a lot better. I chose to be poorer rather than have the drama of the dad in our lives. Somehow, ends always meet. I never thought that I would be alone as a parent; but that special partner never came along, although my son did. I guess I wish I had that sense of a three-way bond. Good and bad come along with being a single parent.

Colleen - posted on 01/06/2010

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Sharing your child's time with your ex(my son's father) and having his mother involved O GOD HELP ME....lol

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