Teresa - posted on 10/01/2010 ( 105 moms have responded )
In your opinion, what is the most common problem single moms often experience?
Teresa - posted on 10/01/2010 ( 105 moms have responded )
In your opinion, what is the most common problem single moms often experience?
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Rachel - posted on 10/23/2010
Finding friends to go out with that understand why, when you pull your wallet out at the bar, a toy zebra falls out or a pair of socks. there also isn't enough time in the week. my ex gets her on the week ends and I only have one night with her that is less structured so I am NOT viewed as the fun one.
Barb - posted on 10/22/2010
My ex not helping fincally. Doesn't see his daughter maybe every 3 months.The stress of him and the screaming and lies and bs still even though we live an hour away. Not having car and trying to do everything thing by myself. Not enough money. Not enough time. Not enough support other then from mom.
Jennifer - posted on 10/21/2010
Day care! paying for it, finding it, and needing a night time one. The first babysitter got beat up by her drunk husband practically everynight!
Alone time- the other parent doesn't understand that while they're up al night partying, we're up all night about to go insane over a crying baby, then there is no such thing as sleeping in ( lucky to reach 7 am)
Sandra - posted on 10/20/2010
no social life isolation lack of money cant go to work because have no support around me to help out
Crystal - posted on 10/19/2010
Thank you, Cheryl. I know that one day she'll see it all how it is. If I were to say anything negative she would end up resenting me, and that is something I NEVER want to happen.
Gail - posted on 10/18/2010
In one way or another every ones posts above have all been difficulties I have faced over the the last 12 years of being a single mom. Although, my ex. did and still does see the children, still only does offer his support and money when he feels like it. I truly think he feels justified. I have finally realized that he loves the kids and truly thinks he does more than enough. Because...he thinks that somehow I am supposed to do the most and give the most.Go figure. For me personally, not having any one that I can turn to for support at night when the house is quiet and the problems look so big(.Although, I am a chirstian and God is my strength and I do talk to him) having someone there physically that you can lean on and depend on to be the man in the house is missing, Than again..if that relationship is not good..it is just easier being alone.Now that my kids are in college they want me to have someone and feel bad when they go out and I stay in . They don't want me to be alone..The tables turn and they worry over me. Honestly..I am happy with my life for the most part. I would like to have my own handy man to fix all the broken things in my house! haha!
Sherayna - posted on 10/18/2010
Dealing with sibling dynamics while having no support!
Kim - posted on 10/16/2010
Health Insurance on a single salary....
Sheena - posted on 10/15/2010
The feeling that you will be single for the rest of your life because no guy wants the responsibility of someone else's child. Before I met my fiance I had went on many dates, and as soon as I told the guy I had a daughter, things took a complete 180 and the guy would freak out. I'll never understand men. lol
Michelle - posted on 10/15/2010
Understanding. Real understanding. People will say "gosh I feel for you" or "wow I don't know how you do it" but then when it comes to, having to leave work for a child that just threw up at daycare, or you can't go out because the cost of childcare would equal the cost of going out they act like you're just a whiny pain!
Tasha - posted on 10/15/2010
always wishing i could do more for us and regrets for my bad chioce of a sperm donor and fear that him or his famiy will come back into my life and mess our lives up once again especially my daughters . Other peoples expectations.
Lynne - posted on 10/14/2010
Raven is not old enough to ask for her father yet,but with my elder son and daughter i used to find t terrible when they asked why mommy and daddy does not live together like other parents do.I had to explain that because we don't agree on alot of thing and do not wat to argue the whole time,we have decided to seperate.But the most important thing I make sure to tell them is,It is not your faults and we both love them very much and our love will never change.
Cheryl - posted on 10/14/2010
Crystal it's heartbreaking, isn't it? I remember when my daughter asked too...she cried. I don't think I'd ever felt so sad...you're doing the right thing by NEVER saying anything bad about him.
Crystal - posted on 10/14/2010
Now that my daughter is 4 the toughest part is that she asks about her dad. Most of her friends at school have their daddies around, and she wants to know where her's is. He hasn't seen her since she was 6 months old. Entirely his own choice. I refuse to say anything negative about him to her, so I just tell her where he lives and that he's "working"...
Deborah - posted on 10/14/2010
I would say lonliness.
I'm lucky in that my 3 year old goes to bed at 7pm so I get some me time, my problem is when she's in bed and I should be enjoying my "me" time I'm either trying to catch up on the washing, or some other form of housework, or in the unusal case when I'm on top of everything a lonely night in front of the tv is all I have to look forward to.
I comfort eat a lot, which makes me put on weight, which makes me feel back, which makes me comfort eat... I don't think I would do that if someone was around.
Jennifer - posted on 10/14/2010
Always having to get a babysitter when you need to go to the doctor, get a haircut, have some time alone, or meet with friends. Not having someone to help you make important decisions about your child's life. Always short on time and money...I always joke that I am a day late and a dollar short. However, I wouldn't give up my little boy for anything!
Holly - posted on 10/14/2010
Bree - posted on 10/14/2010
i so agree with all that there is never enough support to help with bills, or even getting sometime to yourself just to have a shower in peace, your not alone in that one
Rebecca - posted on 10/13/2010
I would say the problem I have ran into the most is doing everything by myself..... its very difficult to have a one month old and a one year old. I bearly have time to take a shower during the day and I don't sleep anymore, lol.
Rose - posted on 10/13/2010
Support especially when i am the only one going to football/basketball practices/games, b-day parties, school conferences, drs appts and picking up from school when sick. Just being Mom and Dad all the time is tiring.
Luanne - posted on 10/13/2010
Fatigue :` (
Michelle - posted on 10/13/2010
I think balancing work and family is the hardest thing to do. For example, child is ill...but there are only poor choices.
Angela - posted on 10/13/2010
Support: financial, emotional, decision making, second opinion and I can go on.....
Kate - posted on 10/13/2010
To Maria S...don't give up! Eventually your daughter will realize how lame dad is and how you are the one who has always been there. It might take years but it will happen.
Fran - posted on 10/13/2010
Lauren - posted on 10/13/2010
Lack of support, lack of alone time, getting frustrated
Leigh - posted on 10/13/2010
Most commom problem seems to be able to do everything! You make the decisions, you pay the bills, you are there for the tears, the smiles, the scared of the darks moments. It's hard to always be the strong one. No one to ask for help, no one to be the parent when you are tired or sick. I struggle being a single parent trying to work to pay bills and still spend that quality time with my daughter. Being in the Air Force and deploying doesn't help either. And dating, well that doesn't always work out to what you would like. It's hard being the strong one but the lonely one at the same time. Some days are the greatest because your child looks at you as though you are the best thing in the world and others it seems like you are drowning with decisions, bills, crying, housework and the stress of work.
Sara - posted on 10/12/2010
Ann - posted on 10/12/2010
Staying positive for our children! I understand but I want you all to know you are not alone, just because there is not a physical man in our life does not mean we are alone...just think there are women out there who are in a relationship who are struggling just as much if not more to raise a child, alone! find your strength in God, if you believe. Find your strength from within if you do not..but believe this if nothing else..that precious life you have been charged with raising is the most important thing you will do in this life time. Focus on doing a good job, make yourself proud and your child will be proud of you..show your children that a family is made up of love not of the number of people in it or if there is a man around. Don't get me wrong, the right man is nice to have but hard to find so lets be happy with the blessing we have in front of us and not the preceived blessing we think we might be missing. Bless you all!!
Jay - posted on 10/12/2010
I agree with the other mom's you don't get a lone time, you can't go out, so your job becomes your escape. When you start relying on that it becomes non enjoyable. Every parent discipline idea I read say I'm to do it but how is the question. The other thing I find is that you friends drift if they don't have kids. If you child has special need like mine do know one wants to visit either. So I feel very lonely.
Brandi - posted on 10/12/2010
Support of having another person to help and income
Marne - posted on 10/11/2010
Ditto on the ill parent problem when the kids are young.Its hard to cope when your not feeling well and have no one to help if you have a fever, or nausea when you need to be in bed in order to get better. Now that their older, its not a problem.
The most recent single mom problem I had was 'parent orienation/open house' for both kids at the same school ,on the same night. I had to juggle both kids H.S. schedules and pick/choose which teachers/classes I was/wasn't going to meet for each child. I notified the school about this problem before hand, but got no solution or response and offered no help. I guess I had to figure it out on my own and contact those teachers individually that I didn't get to meet. Not the biggest problem in the world, but it was a hassle that evening trying to decide what to do. (Luckily for me a couple teachers weren't there, so I could skip those).
The schools need to consider this dilema when they schedule parent orientations and realize single parents with kids have a problem that go to the same school and are within 1-5yrs apart.
Stephanie - posted on 10/11/2010
Lack of Money!
Other then that I could really use someone to take the garbage out!
JESSICA - posted on 10/11/2010
NO BABY SITTER
Sarah - posted on 10/11/2010
Men trying to take advantage of you all the time, just seeing you and your kids and no man. It sure does make me stronger tho. I can be real nice, and then a total bitch in 2.2 seconds. Roll over or get rolled over.
Shauna Mc - posted on 10/09/2010
Where do we start. You could write a book about it. Its very hard being a single mom trying to do everything u possibly can for your child and there is nothing worse when the father isnt in the picture to help u out every now and then. I love my son to bits and wouldnt change him for the world but it would be really nice if these lowlife dads would step up and take responsibility for there kids and us single moms just want our kids dads to be apart of there life's to me personally the money dosnt matter once the dad is there for his child thats all that counts to me....!!
Tiffany - posted on 10/09/2010
well...4 me!!! It"z havn noooo,help at all! I hav 2 gurlz& it"z hard. But the bills,clothes&carfair!!! I never hav enough money,@ tak them anywhere!!! But i knw, 1day we"ll break thro!!!
Olga - posted on 10/09/2010
support..both financial and moral...
Crystal - posted on 10/09/2010
Being an underpaid woman
Oddly enough my most hostile interviewers for jobs were middle-aged woman... talk about dissing the sisterhood.
Quiet time (i.e. peeing in peace).... ever
NORDIS - posted on 10/09/2010
Trying to be mom and dad at the same time, specially with no family members around. Sometimes I feel guilty for not being able to spend time with my kids, but I go to school and work two jobs. Is really hard and sad when crhistmas come and you are all by yourself with your kids.
Judith - posted on 10/09/2010
I think it is having my own personal time. I work hard to support my kids. I get tired and try not to lose my patience. My kids dont deserve my frustration. They love me unconditionally :o)
Valerie - posted on 10/09/2010
their Baby Daddy's!!!!!!!!!
Hallie - posted on 10/08/2010
i love being a single mum i have a really good baby girl so time to myself is easy she is extremly independant ...i would have to say that the hardest part for me is being a little bit lonely especially at night when she is in bed by 7 and then there is just me and the TV
Maree - posted on 10/08/2010
For me it would be the stigma of being a single parent.Many people will not even speak to you if they know you are a single parent. Fearing you may steal their husband. Hello!!!! All this single parent wants is someone to talk to and share the highs and lows with. Getting advice on how to deal with situations etc etc. It is very hard when you don't have someone else at home to bounce ideas off and to know you are doing the right thing. Another problem I have is with finding a job. I prefer to be home for my children when they are not at school, but it is very hard to find a job during the week that does not include rostered weekend days as well. Kids need parents at home on weekends. especially when there is only one parent .
Kellie - posted on 10/08/2010
i would have to say in my opinion not having time to myself,i would love to just have 1 day of doing absolutely nothing,no chasing my son around,getiing up early,making sure he's getting enough fresh air ect ect
but being a mum you would do anything for your child even if it means you look like a zombie at the end of the day,lol
Kristin - posted on 10/08/2010
It is a toss up between financial, support in general and the stigma that still tends to be the invisible elephant in the room. I have a lot of great support which helps. I guess that is the main thing to have in the end. The rest of it can be worked around.
Jessica - posted on 10/08/2010
Most common problem would be knowing we're not robots, we are human too and need time to recoup. We need time. I feel the race against the clock like I feel my heart beating. :-)
Josephine - posted on 10/08/2010
for me not having any one to share things with. as they get older and they achive somthing it nice to have the dad or a partner to share that joy with. or just if you have had a bad day and you just what some one else to take over so you can just leave the suttion.
Kayleen - posted on 10/08/2010
The obvious things, keeping up with bills, getting time to ourselves, juggles mulitple jobs, and trying to keep time for kid activities. And mostly is trying to remind my 6 year old that nothing in this world is more important to me than him and that I can't fix the things his dad does, but I can and will always be here for him!
Diana - posted on 10/08/2010
finding time for yourself and being tired all the time!!!!