what to do?

Meghan - posted on 06/03/2010

just keep doing what you are doing Jade. Just get it back to court ASAP with ALL the proper evidence..pictures, doctor's reports-everything you can think of!
It's not our job to show them what a shitty parent the other is. If you keep providing love and saftey for her, she WILL figure it out! There will be some tears and a broken heart or two, but I promise she will see the good vs bad. And although we try and it is our duty to keep them safe, we can't decide their reltionship with the other parent otherwise.
My son calls Barney dadda...he calls old men dadda..he calls women who have masculin featured dadda..I have pages and pages of less than admerable things my ex has done but until the SAFETY and well being of my son comes into play I have to be ammicable and hope that karma is on my side and he will dig his own grave. Am I fighting, HELL YES! But the key is looking like you have it all together and you really have to put it out there that your NUMBER 1 intent is what is best for your daughter-which I believe is your main concern! I really feel for you! Just keep your chin up and things will work out!!

Jade - posted on 06/02/2010

yes its just little things that make me think hes not even there. sometime she will come back and not say daddy and sometimes she will. it makes me think when she doesnt say it has she even seen him? apparenlty he has a new girlfriend and i found out that they were trying for a baby but shes cheating on him. he cant even afford to pay child support for my daughter and he has a gambling problem im really hoping he will drop out if he has another child with someone else. i want her to see that me and my family are good and treat each other and everyone else with respect and look after our homes and other things unlike his family who are pigs and live with week old food on the floor nits in thier hair and 8 babies from one mother and 2 fathers. i want to show her the right things on life and they are not it.

Meghan - posted on 06/02/2010

It's not bad to think that, but you know what Jade? Kids aren't stupid. I keep telling my self this! I don't want to be the one to keep my son from his father. If it get's dangerous or his needs aren't met that one thing, but as she get's older she may want to spend more time with him. And as this happens, she will be able to figure out what a crappy person/father he is. I struggle with it everyday so PLEASE don't think that I am coming down on you. As a mother we have that built in mama bear intstinct right? I fully in my heart think that my ex will drop out of his life one day, but that has to be done by him-not me! I hope that makes sense.

Jade - posted on 06/02/2010

she always excited to come home and yells mummy at the top of her lungs but i think shes torn between to men ( her dad and my bf ) shes crazy about my boyfriend she always asks for him and thats why she sometimes cries because he isnt there and she has to go to her dads and she doesnt want to. im hoping that one day hes gunna get someone else pregnant think hes in love and forget about my daughter i want to show her how much he sucks at being a dad so she tells me she doesnt want to go over anymore. is that bad?

Meghan - posted on 06/02/2010

I haven't really figured it out yet lol. I think remembering that it is hard on him and he is confused. Lots of support and cuddles when I can. Even though he is younger I try and talk it "it's ok that you're mad right now, I understand that you are tired/upset.." Don't get mad at her (not saying that you do, but it can be hard not to feed into their fristaion) and if all else fails, sometimes I need a time out and a good cry! Iunderstand the money thing...maybe there are somoe legal aide programs??

Jade - posted on 06/02/2010

im only trying to do whats best for my daughter but it makes it hard because solicitors are so expensive and i dont work so im only getting the little money the government gives me. @ meghan anger what do you do when your son gets home and he is completly different?

Meghan - posted on 06/01/2010

I am going through a similar thing with my ex. You are doing the right thing by taking pics, document everything and if your lawyer isn't doing their job try and find a new one. I have had a lot of ppl argue with me that messy faces and full diapers aren't neglect...and my son coming home grouchy is normal. I disagree...I manage to keep him clean (probably cleaner than I should lol) and change diapers regualry...and the only time he acts OUT of control is after visits (don't get me wrong, he has his naughty toddler moments but he is a totally different kid after visits!)

If it doesn't appear condusive to you child you need to stand up for her! I would make an order for supervised visits..I don't know if you can do this yourself or if you need a lawyer to. IDK I feel for you hun! Find a new lawyer and fight your ass off! :)

Tina - posted on 06/01/2010

hi there your are doing all the right things by taking photos and noting everything down so if your solicitor wont do anything about this then i would go and find a nother one dosent sound like they r doing there job prop this is what i would do if i was in your pos