what to do about custody

Bridget - posted on 01/23/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my daughters father left when i was 3 months pg,went with another girl n got her pg...he has seen my daughter 3 times n she is 6 months old. he has not given her anything or gave me money to support her..he claims he will get visitation and he has a temper and told me he doesnt want her but wants visitation..what can i do to get full custody? this is his 4th child by the fourth women n has nothing to do with the last 3 children..

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Carmen - posted on 10/16/2013

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omg i love circle of moms the same exact thing happened to me he is still with the other girl and I am 7 months pregnant with our first daughter and second child. He has two kids from a previous relationship as well and a drug problem. He always wants me to send my son with him but i pulled up on him smoking pcp in front of our son I haven't seen him in almost two months I told him I would gladly see him in court! Feel those papers out and let the judge do the rest!

Paige - posted on 07/16/2011

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It doesn't matter whether he is on the birth certificate or not - If he wants visitation all he has to do is go to the courts and get an order for a paternity test. Go for full custody

Claire - posted on 01/25/2010

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Oh man this sounds familiar.
I actually left my daughters Father after I found out I was pregnant, then the week after I gave birth his new girlfriend found me on myspace and told me how beautiful my baby was and hey guess what, she's pregnant too.
It's such a nasty feeling, I can't imagine what it would feel like knowing he had 2 previous children.
I know that in Australia you can claim an exemption from receiving child support, (I'm planning on doing this on the grounds that my daughters Father is mentally unstable) so if I end up in court, they'll see that I've claimed the exemption and that he's never actually tried to see her.

In your case, courts rarely rule in favor of the Father. Especially when he has a temper and 3 other kids who he doesn't have custody of (or does he?)

Tanya - posted on 01/25/2010

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File for child support first and get an attorney if you can. Not sure where you are from but in PA the factors of him not taking care of his other kids will come into play. Best of luck to you. As far as custody goes- just go to your local courthouse and get the papers to fill out and file them. They will tell you what to do.

Kacee - posted on 01/23/2010

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I am in a similar situation right now and I plan on taking it to court soon. My daughter is 9 months old and her father has only seen her 4 times and he has a really bad temper too. I had to get a restraining order on him. I kept a log of all of our interactions and had a few threatening voicemails that he left on my cell phone which helped to get the restraining order. The restraining order grants me full custody for 2 years while it is in effect. But I plan on taking it back to court soon to try to get full custody for good. You should definately keep a record of his actions and how many times he has seen her. I was really worried about the safety of my baby with him and his temper so he only has supervised visits with her (when he sees her) I would recomend this to you as well so that you dont have to worry about him and his temper being alone with your baby. Good luck to you, I hope that everything works out in your favor!!!

Deanna - posted on 01/23/2010

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Definitely get a lawyer. I do not know what state you live in, but I know at least in NJ getting sole custody is difficult. Even getting sole custody doesn't mean you can block visitation though. That is a separate issue. I know my lawyer has said that terminating a father's rights to his child is difficult. Not impossible but difficult. Your best bet is to go with getting a lawyer, and try to get as much of what he has said in writing. Try to only communicate through email. Then you have it on record. Good luck. I understand the stress of a father who really doesn't want his child, but wants the visitation just to try and hurt you (which is how this seems)

Marthalyn - posted on 01/23/2010

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hire a lawyer and take this to family court. you will have a good chance of getting full custody. unfortunately, he will be able to get visitation. your lawyer will also make sure that he will pay child support. good luck....

Ginette - posted on 01/23/2010

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I'm not exactly sure how it works where you are but I suggest that when you do speak to him record your conversations because that may help you in court....Apply at your local legal aid offfice and family court for full custody...It doesn't matter if he is on the birth certificate...he has allready told you pretty well that he doesnt want to take her just see her......that's in your favor because he may just sign an agreement before it goes to court and you will have sole custody and a child support order....Best of Luck

Lori - posted on 01/23/2010

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hopefully he is not listed on the birth certificate. Or file for full custody.

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