what would you do if you found out your child was the product of rape?

Maddy - posted on 08/07/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I'm just curious. Like what would one do if they were raped and they got pregnant. Like where do they get support? How do they get support like everyone else? What happenes? hwhat do they tell their child? I have a lot of questions from like what to answer if someone asks about the dad to who legally becomes the dad? And like what if they could never find their perpetrator? Sorry if it's too many questions but I thought it fit seeing this is a group for single moms right?

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Micheal - posted on 10/03/2011

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I am a victim of rape and love my son just find. My ex I kind of have tried to see it as the half of his good side not bad side since I did at one point love him.

Mercy - posted on 10/02/2011

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I would love my child like an angel from heaven. it wouldn't matter how i got pregnant, the fact that God allowed that is enough to make me accept.

Danielle - posted on 10/01/2011

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See I am the the victim of rape and have a child as a product of it. I did not know I was pregnant until I was 7 monthsand that is when i told my family what happened. I was so ashamed with myself b/c it was one of my friends boyfriends who did it when I was 17. It was my first time ever. It is hard b/c I am trying to figure out when is the best time to tell him. It kills me b/c I don't know how he will react. The worst part of it all is that his father went to jail for it and was not suppose to get out until my son was 13 but got out when he was 5. I just recently found out that his father lives 2 towns away from me. My son has half brothers and sisters b/c apparently I wasn't the only girl he did this to. Im just scared that one day I will run into him somewhere and that is why I feel the need to tell my son.

Alisha - posted on 08/11/2011

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I would go to a non-profit pregnancy crisis center and get free counseling. I would choose life for my baby because that child should not get the death penalty because of the disgusting actions of his or her biological father. His actions doesn't make that child's life worth any less. I would go to church, trusted pastor, mentors and try to get support and counseling through that horribly painful time. One of my friends had gotten pregnant from rape and she got an STD as well, she kept her son and has never looked back. I'm not saying it is easy, but I would give that child life, bottom line, no matter what.

Liyah - posted on 08/09/2011

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First of all whatever you decide is your choice so don't let people opinions sway you, I don't believe it would be healthy to tell your child that they came to be because of something life altering and traumatic, maybe explaining it's a very complicated situation but all he/she needs to know is that YOU are Here and will be there every step of the way, You do not have to justify your situation to anybody not even to your child BUT you don't ever say things to a child that can break their spirits like daddy doesn't love you, he left us, he hurt mummy your child needs to be around Uplifting messages

Kayla - posted on 08/09/2011

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Try and find a local group or internet. y can go to pany's.org and it gives you severl links to support groups. just dont do this alone

LEAH - posted on 08/09/2011

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You don't owe anyone any answers at all. I've been there done that and my daughter is 15. Never regretted having her and never felt obligated to explain anything to anyone. Good luck!

Christina - posted on 08/09/2011

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You don't say anything. Just let people assume his dad ran off. Just say, "his dad is not in the picture." When your child is old enough, you will need to tell him that you don't know who his dad is or how you got pregnant. Chalk it up to some bad choices and bad consequences but a beautiful gift from God out of it.

Maddy - posted on 08/09/2011

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I'm not pregnant and I love my son and am keeping him just don't know what to say now.

Emma - posted on 08/09/2011

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Personally thankfully i have never been raped that said i can only say what i think i would do. And that would be to take the morning after pill ASAP.
I cant even begin to imagine the conflicting emotions that a woman must feel in this situation (being far enough along as to get a positive on a preg test) So i would try and avoid that at all costs.

Lauren - posted on 08/08/2011

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i first off would keep it private that the child is a product of rape. second off, i dont believe in abortion, even if you were raped, i think adoption is the responsible choice. murder is never right. but if you plan on keeping the child, i would just tell people the father isnt involved. although its really none of their business anyways. i personally would never want my child to know who their "dad: technically is. rapists and child molestors have very sick minds, they never change. idc what anyone says that they can "find god and change." no. they need to be shot in the fucking face. if you are pregnant by rape, i would confide in either my mom, or close friend. maybe another family member? and for what its worth, you can always contact me.. i had a very rough pregnancy. never been raped but i had to deal with alot. i ultimately belive everything happens for a reason..

Maddy - posted on 08/07/2011

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there's no one in my life. I'm not much a fan of men to begin with. I had at first told people different things about who the dad was because I was highly sexually active. But I just ran out and now I'm not sure if what my friends were saying from the beginning was true. Which if it was then maybe it was from rape. But now I started off as saying I wasn't sure to this. And that's why I asked but I found a hopefully different group maybe to talk about it.

Christina - posted on 08/07/2011

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Why would you tell anyone that your child is the product of rape? I would just state, "there is no father in my child's life." Or if I met someone who became my child's daddy, I would just tell everyone that was my child's daddy.
I have gotten pregnant from a rape. I will not tell anyone what I did with that pregnancy. No one knows if I aborted, had a miscarriage, or if one of my children is that child. It is no one's business!

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