Shatele - posted on 07/06/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )
Shatele - posted on 07/06/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )
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Priscilla - posted on 08/03/2009
Wait a whole year. That's my rule. If you do it sooner, then just make sure it's after six months. If your children don't like him. Dump him. Children are always right. They can sense a good person and a bad one. I listened to my daughter. Before I wouldn't. Now because of her, I have a really good husband. Child are blessings from God.
Leah - posted on 08/01/2009
That can be a tough one. At the end of the day, you have to decide when you feel it is right. Maybe talk to your child, first and see how they would feel about meeting them. Sadly, due to my ex making it difficult, my son was introduced to my boyfriend prematurely, however it turned out to be perfect. The two of them have been quite the team, since.
Katie - posted on 07/30/2009
It is going to be hard. You need to have the conversation with your significant other and tell them that your child comes first and that you don't feel safe in bringing another man into her life for it not to work. And that you need to know that it is forever before you bring your child into it. I talked to my man and I made it clear to him that I don't want to get hurt again and that I do not want my child to EVER go threw that again. I'd only bring him around if you know he is the one for the rest of your life. There is no reason to break your childs heart if they get attached if it dosn't work out!
Angelique - posted on 07/29/2009
I think you should wait untill you guys have dated for at least three months or so. My s
Greta - posted on 07/18/2009
anytime, i think if a person is good for you, is good for your kids, but this is the important point, be sure that tnis person is good enough.......good luck
Liz - posted on 07/18/2009
I let my son know about the person in my life after we were both sure the realtionship was leading to the next step. Tell your child that you are seeing someone so that when the time comes for you to wan them to meet it is not such a shock or surprise to them. Been in your shoes and as long as you are upfront with your child, then they can't say they was not told and you was not honest with them. Pray that there is no drama after that. The big pictur eis that they want there mom to be hapy and if they see that tis person adds to your happiness, then thats what counts. Pray on it too. Prayer never fails
Kadi - posted on 07/17/2009
my son is 4. I didn't want to bring may men around either. about 2 months back I met a man while my son was with me. He also has a 4 year old son.in the last 2 months my son has come into contact with this man 1 other time from when I met him. He always asks why I pay a sitter when we go out or just not bring him, I told him how I felt and he left it alone. the relationship has gotten a little bit more serious. (he is officially my boyfriend) so I was thinking he can be around my son a few times. it will become more frequent when I know things are getting more serious from this point.
Cyleste - posted on 07/16/2009
It seems like I found this group at just the right time, I have recently started seeing someone and have met his son but I'm still struggling with when/or if he should meet my kids. I don't want them to have men in and out of thier lives but I don't want to wait until we are super serios either and it be a complete shock to my kids that mom has this whole other life without them. I just don't know what is the right way to go! Maybe its just to follow you gut and see what happens with both.......hmmmmmm. Any advice on this is greatly appreciated.
Bonnie - posted on 07/15/2009
This has always been a touchy situation for me as well...growing up with a single mother always had its ups and downs and unfortunately I never received the prep talk before meeting one of her date's, which was pretty often. So I never really cared for any of them. If my mom were to do it all over again and take my advice the second time around, I would tell her to keep her dating life and mommy life separate until a huge commitment has been made and the siginicant other is ready to be a part of not only your life but you and your child's life. Take them on outings where the kids feel comfortable but both can interact and when another step is ready to be taken then I would definitely keep the conversation open for discussion and answer any questions your kiddos have. I dealt with 2 divorces and to this day never really knew the guy and it has made my choices in dealing with dating and boyfriends a lot simpler. Hope this helps!
Ashley - posted on 07/15/2009
I was a Child Protective Services Social Worker before my daughter was born, so this was a big issue with me. I had several client families that had "new daddies" or abusive "mom's boyfriends", so I was VERY concerned about this! My ex-husband and I agreed that we would not introduce our daughter to someone unless we were sure they were going to be around for a while. When my boyfriend and I had said, "I love you", I knew that he was going to be a significant and long term person in my life and introduced my daughter shortly thereafter. It's been 4 months now and things are going well. I suppose we'll see how things play out!
Leila - posted on 07/15/2009
It's a tricky one. I have done this a few times...sigh...I introduced my first BF since their dad in 2006 as my friend. They were boys of 6 and 8 years of age. They enjoyed the company and that's it. When I introduced by last BF in 2007/8 they weve devastated when we broke up! Maybe it gets more complicated as they get older. I beleive that kids need to know that mom's have BFs and go out and go through similar things they go through in their own lives like in school with girls and boys. We are made of flesh and blood and are women after all. I beleive it would be a mistake to protect our children from any kind of experience in this respect. Easier said than done though. I was so traumatized by the way my last break up affected my boys....I am thinking thrice now!
Lisa - posted on 07/15/2009
I think that it is bad to experiment with diff men around. Friends are much better.
Try to pick your men wisely but after a big period of you falling in love, introduce your child for a few outings/fun times. If your child is not happy and I mean very happy and saying I LOVEso and so GET RID OF HIM ASAP! Kids that are well adjusted are an excellent source of information for mom.
Candice - posted on 07/06/2009
i think it depends on the child's age and temperment. if you're worried about your child getting attached, then maybe wait till you know they're probably sticking around a while. my daughter is quite young, and my main concern has been finding a guy who is willing to incorporate her into his life, since she is such a big part of mine at this age, so i introduced them quite early. but i think it's fairly safe since she doesn't have a long memory at this stage, so if he stops coming around it won't destroy her.
Jackie - posted on 07/06/2009
i wish i knew - lauren is three and i haven't dated since before she was born. i'm terrified of being the mom that brings home a different daddy every six months.
My best guess would be when you're comfortable enough to have the conversation "he's not here to replace- but he is here and he's probably staying"