When was the last time your child saw their biological dad?

Tiffany - posted on 01/29/2012 ( 168 moms have responded )

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Hello ladies, I have been through so much crap with my daughters' dad from when I found out I was pregnant and just up until a month or two ago because I finally got my number changed because of harassment. I do not let my one year old over there alone because the 2 times I let her go over there she was not brought back on her scheduled time and nobody picked up the phone when I called and texted over and over again. I also don't let her over there alone because of so many over things, but the main thing is being worried that I will not be able to get her back. There have been quite a few cases down here where the dad took the child, mother called the police and they could do nothing. Anyways, I have reached out to her dad plenty of times telling him to let me know when he wants to come see her, he would say okay, but would never make the effort to actually put that into action. It has been 5 months, 6 next week since he has seen her.



How long has been for your kid/kids?

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User - posted on 03/14/2012

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My daughter saw her dad once so far his year.She is 9.I got her a phone last year because i didnt trust him.He left his other partner with their son and moved country.He came to stay with me for 3 weeks.He didnt mention that the boys mum didnt know where they were..After helping him out i really realized how much he just uses my home for a half way house..When he is supposed to come and visit in the past he might turn up on the last day of his visit..he would be over for a week..i used to always leave him stat for my daughters sake..Now i just say n o you cant stay,so he is odd with me.He has got back with his partner which is good for their son..But i worry if hedosnt like the way i do things he will just take off...last summer i managed to keep my daughter very busy with summer camps and holidays, and other that she didnt have to go down to him..I did invite her brother and step brother up for a week and they did a summer camp, near where i live..its very hard because i never wanted to be one of these women who hated the father of their child but its just turned out the way..we are civil enough in front of the kids. But i want her to have relationship with her dad, sometimes i think im been a control freak..but like i said he took off with his son and left the country..if he can do that once he can do it again..i was very suprised his partner got back with him and moved over to be with him..love can make you do strange things i guess..

When she sees her dad its usually planned in such a way that she has to be back because something is on..i no for a fact if he took her i would hunt him down and his life would be HELL..

Mary - posted on 03/06/2012

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If he's no good, let him go now before your child gets to know him. I bent over backwards to make sure my little girls had their father in their lives... now that I see the damage that relationship has done to them, and especially the heartbreak my nine-year-old has endured under his lack of concern and consistency coupled with his utter lack of regard for the fact that she is a child (crying on the phone with her how he doesn't have enough food to eat, etc.-- get a damn job is what I say), I realize I have made a grave mistake. I should have left him when I was pregnant with my second and never looked back. By now he'd be nothing more than a distant memory for my eldest instead of something she obsesses over every day. I speak from bitter experience: a child is far better off with no father at all than one who does not handle his responsibility as an adult parent should.

Trelanie - posted on 03/10/2012

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i am soo sorry to hear about your daughter's father tiffany! its a shame that men wont be men and step up to their responsibility smh! my daughter's father has only seen her ONCE and she will be 11 months in 5 days!!! and that time he saw her i had to be the one to take her to see him. yes, he does live 3 hours from here but its no excuse! omg! oh yea and he is just now getting another car but still no excuse when they have greyhound available. call it plain sad smh he claims that he doesnt just wanna come for a few hours and then go back...smh..here again um sick and tired of the EXCUSES! Before i broke up with him things were cool but once i broke up with him he hasnt really been here for my daughter! he claims he gonna do better but hey talk is cheap!

Sunsearay - posted on 03/10/2012

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Never...Her father gave me two choices...abortion or adoption...I gave him one...get out and stay out. I was 5 months pregnant, I don't get child support, but I don't have to deal with his crap either. I've been blessed to have a loving and supporting family that helps me with her and she is a very happy well adjusted child

Jennifer - posted on 03/08/2012

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My soon to be 15 year old hasn't seen his in almost 12 years. My 7 year old hasn't seen his in 3 years. At times it is difficult for them but it is my responsible to be honest and help them through it. Remember you can't make anyone be a parent if that's not what they want. I gave mine and option; be a full time parent or go away, I don't have time for the BS. Stay Strong!

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168 Comments

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Krista - posted on 06/25/2014

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I have a 7 year old and a 6 year old and they don't no there real dad and my husband has raised then but they r catching on the the other siblings not having the same last name I'm wondering how old should they be before I have to sit them down and tell them or how to tell them they also have a mother sibling on there real dads side they don't no either

Marina - posted on 04/25/2012

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My daughters father has never even seen her. He knows shes alive but he has no idea where we live, what she looks like, etc. Sometimes its better that way. I hate to say that but I think her life would be MUCH worse if he were involved. No amount of money or anything else is worth sacrificing my daughters happiness. She is happy and healthy without him.

[deleted account]

It has been 2 years and 4 months since my son's dad has seen our child. My son doesn't even "notice." He's asked one time where his dad was, and I told him I didn't know. Which I don't. I only see him when we go to court because he doesn't pay his child support.

Michelle - posted on 04/24/2012

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My son is 6 and never one met his dad and doesn't want to. if he cant make the effort then why should i go running. and as for not bring them back when they are meant to, i'd be at there door, when my son want to see his dad, the dad will be getting told he does it my way or not at all

[deleted account]

The last time my son's biological father saw him was the day after he was born. Then he called me when he was 5 days and for 8 years that was it. Nothing. My husband and I served him with termination papers when my son was 2yrs old. My husband, the only father my son has ever known wanted to adopt him. Thankfully the "sperm donor" agreed. Then thanks to the social network he was back in our lives. I tried to move on and make the best of things for my sons sake (who at that time had 2 siblings and one on the way on that side). Now things are getting bad. My son mentioned that he might be ready to meet his biological father. This upsets my husband because he doesn't trust the guy. I think the only reason he wants to meet him is so he can meet his siblings (he now has 4 by his biological father). When I explained to my son that his father wasn't comfortable with this right now he said OK and was really fine with it. The 'sperm donor" on the other hand is not. He thinks that my husband should just let the past go and move on. He even had the nerve to refer to my son as "his son". I am sorry but he gave up that right long before he singed over his rights to him. Now I see why my husband doesn't trust him. I have decided that for my son the best thing would be to limit contact for now and not push the whole meeting him thing on him or my husband.

Mary - posted on 03/27/2012

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Welcome to the world of countless single parents. The shame of it is, the best thing any of us can do for our children is cease contact altogether if/when it becomes a selfish drama played out by the non-res parent, which sadly seems to be what it turns into far too often. The drama is more damaging to a child emotionally than not having the parent in his/her life at all. My advice to anyone dealing with it is to completely disengage from the drama and do what's necessary to move on... no matter how hard that may seem, it is what is necessary for the child's emotional health.

Lisa - posted on 03/26/2012

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You are so right. When I read your words, tears actually came to my eyes. No one tells you how it feels to be a parent, a mother, to raise a human being. Im going through some very tough times, but my daughter makes me feel a million bucks just looking at her. Out of everything on life, your own child is worth the fight. Well done. You seem like a smart lady.

Tiffany - posted on 03/24/2012

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@barb: so apparently her dad is trying to get custody of her he filed a petition but when asked in court he siad he didn't mind me having custody of her weird eh, also apparently her dad is now married which may explain why now all of a sudden he wants to fight smh. We had visitation set up in court and today was the first day I dropped her off it specifially said a number of things including on how he had to come to the car and get our daughter because I was not going to go to their house so why did he send his younger sister out to try to get her she told me and my mom who was a witness that he said he wasn't coming out we then told her he is court ordered to come to the car too the car to get her she then called him and told him which is when he then came outside...smh really? How can you possibly expect to claim to want something so much but can't even do anything that you agreed to doing.

Barb - posted on 03/17/2012

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I went through the same thing I didn't have a home number though and he had my families number he never really contacted them. It sucks when bio dad's just can't man up and he mature for the kid. How do you plan on explain one day what happened to your daughter? My daughter is online two so I know I don't have to tell her yet, but I wounder what I would tell her one day. You don't have to answer just something I have been thinking about myself how I will do it.

Tiffany - posted on 03/17/2012

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@ Barb: After changing my number I figured once again if he wanted to contact me he would make the effort, he still has my house number and still I havent heard anything, I stopped trying when I changed my number too much mess and drama.

Barb - posted on 03/17/2012

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When you changed your numbers did you cut off all ties with him seeing you child completely? That's what it sounds like? I am just curious if things kinda ended up how they did with my daughters bio dad.

Michelle - posted on 03/16/2012

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My daughters father would never hold her after she was born because he smoked and I asked him to clean up after smoking before holding her, but he was too lazy. Then when I left she was 2 months old, he has made no effort to come and see her and honestly because of the type of person he is I don't ever want him near her. So she will probably never meet him. She is almost 9 months now.

Cs19862 - posted on 03/14/2012

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My son used to see his dad dailey but we moved to a different state but he calls dailey, my daughter on the other had is one next month and she has seen hers maybe seven times its been five months and when he visited it was for five minutes! and i had to nag him for three days (i went back home for a visit) and he came right when we was leaving, told me he had other stuff to do :( and before that it was about six months? he was there when she was born, but he doesnt really claim her. his family does but he doesnt. sorry to hear that i hope you find someone to be her go to man, for my daughter its her uncle (his brother) she loves him so much an i am so blessed that he loves her so much, he makes it a daily commitment (on his own unverbalized) to have "time" with her. she needs that but i am sure to be more careful when choosing a boyfriend, he has to love kids and be kind and loving, not such a jerk like her dad turned out to be!

Tracy - posted on 03/14/2012

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please keep a copy of the texts or emails and do not talk to him on the phone. i know its a lot to keep up on but it sounds like you will need it later on. mom son is about to not see his dad for a very long time but a completely different situation. but when he was seeing him i kept all those texts and they came in real handy in court.

Trisha - posted on 03/11/2012

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My daughter's 'sperm donor' pretty much took advantage of me one night after going to the pub. I didn't want nothing to do with him "that way" and I thought I made that clear before we started drinking. Yeah well, I had too much and now I have a beautiful daughter. :) He was there for her birth, a few times afterwards, then when DHS got involved because she escaped thru our front door (she was 2 or 2 1/2 at the time). That scared the holy hell outta me and of course they had to notify him and he acted all caring and whatnot and came over to see her a couple times, then was done. We left town shortly after she turned 3 and haven't heard or seen him since the last time he had come over. That's pretty sad, especially when she was so confused and would call just about any guy she seen "Daddy"... it broke my heart and still does when she says something about her daddy. I told her she doesn't have a daddy, just a Mommy. She's 4 now and seems pretty content with just me, but sometimes I wish I had a special guy to call mine and she could call him "Daddy".

Cheyenne - posted on 03/10/2012

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last time my son seen his father was dec 2010 and i would call daily according to his gf hed just stare at my calls

Chaquille - posted on 03/10/2012

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My daughter has not seen her father since she was born. I tried many of times to get him to come see her and he always say he will come when he finds time. He never comes so i just gave up. My daughter is now 4 months old

Chaquille - posted on 03/10/2012

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My daughter has not seen her father since she was born. I tried many of times to get him to come see her and he always say he will come when he finds time. He never comes so i just gave up. My daughter is now 4 months old

Stacy - posted on 03/09/2012

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My daughter is 13 1/2 and she hasn't seen her dad in over 2 years. He hasn't called, texted or even sent her anything for her birthday or Christmas. He's remarried and has a 5 year old son, plus he moved farther away. Now he's over an hour away. He was a very abusive husband and she's nervous around him. But....she loves him and misses him. She's going to be a freshman next year and really misses having her dad in her life. I think he's the lowest person in the world to not take time out of his life to spend with his wonderful daughter. What kind of dad does that??

Natalie - posted on 03/07/2012

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my daughter never met her father. i left him when she was 4 months old. he moved out of state, got married and left all together 4 daughters to start a new life. our loss?? NO WAY!

DEANNA - posted on 03/06/2012

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WELL ME AND MY BABYDADDY STARTED OFF ROCKY HE WUD COME WHEN HE WANTED TO COME GET OUT DAUGHTER BUT NOW EVERY WEEKEND TO DADDY HOUSE SHE GOES AT 23 MONTHS CAN TELL ME IF SHE WANNA CALL HER DADDY OR EVEN GO TO HIS HOUSE!!!

Donna - posted on 03/05/2012

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Its much better with him out of the picture. Its too much for her. Too many let downs

Phyllis - posted on 03/04/2012

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my daughter (just turned 12 yesterday) has not seen her father in 3 months and this is the shortest time... life is easier for us when he is out of the picture

Maria Ethel - posted on 03/04/2012

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last December 2011, his Dad visit him at the hospital when he was confined due to asthma. For the last three years his dad visit him only on his birthday.

Crystal - posted on 03/04/2012

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October or November 2011 when my little one was last at his mum's house but as she wont be going back for personal reasons so he wont see her unlessl he decides to turn up at mine or my mum's like he usually does but i hope not!



I guess all you can do is just move on with your life and be the best mummy that you can be to your little one.

Jessica - posted on 03/04/2012

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he saw my son last in oct of 2009 and has not seen him since but he thinks he has all right but he lost them in back in nov 2009

Michelle - posted on 03/03/2012

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My oldest has never met his dad and it took him until a month b4 my son was 6 for him to contact me. my son still has not met his as its now my child's choice and not his dad's

Katie - posted on 03/02/2012

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The week he was born, and my son is turning 2 next month. He does not make any effort to see my child and I don't think it's my job to seek him out and make him she him.

BeeJay - posted on 03/02/2012

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My daughter will be 3 in June. The last time her "father" saw her, she was 6 weeks old. If you counted all the time in her first weeks of life, he saw her less than 24 hours. His choice not to see her. But its fine with me and my daughter will be fine. I have enough love to give her that she doesnt need him.

Kary - posted on 03/01/2012

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My kids havent seen there dad is about 5 years....That being said he hasnt paid childsupport in about 3 years and I have no idea where he is nor does child support enforcement...It makes me sad because there is nothing I can do to make him change his mind about being a father...He didnt see our son until 2 wks after he was born and the same with out daughter...I was scheduled to be induced and told him what time and where didnt show up...Its hard on my daughter because all of her friends have a dad that is in the same home and she wants to be daddys girl my son could care less but it bothers me endlessly knowing that I cant change it and its hard meeting the right man that my kids will love and he will love them back...Some men just plain suck!!!!

Sarah - posted on 02/29/2012

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One trip to the park in an entire year!

Don't worry they will be sad lonely old men and we will have grandbabies!

Laura - posted on 02/29/2012

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My 22 yo daughter saw her bio dad just once, when she was about 18 months old.



My 8 yo foster son last saw his bio dad about 4 years ago.



My 6 yo foster son last saw his bio dad for a few hours one day last December.

April - posted on 02/29/2012

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not exactly sure. i wanna say in the summer maybe like june sooo...9mths. and he last asked about my son on christmas obviously bc it was only christmas. he doesnt care and im done trying to get him to care. and thats where he stands. he blocked me on fb and changed his number(and was happy about it) so i couldnt talk to him about my son.

Samantha - posted on 02/29/2012

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Im in ireland and the father of my newborn is on/selling heroin and very violent, hes threathening my family and im terrified of him, ive been allowing him into my home to c the baby hopeing that would be enuf 4 him, and i even had sex with him....trying to keep him happy, even though hes robbing from our local shops n making a show of my family who are good living people... but nothing is good enuf 4 him, he wants to take the baby on his own to his sisters house and take her for weekends!! would a court make me do that??? she wouldnt be safe with him n when he even holds her she screams the place down!! even his druggy voice does my head in when hes talking to my daughter

Ricketa - posted on 02/26/2012

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I have the opposite problem my child hasn't seen his father since 2009. And his father isn't trying to visit or get to know him.

Amy - posted on 02/24/2012

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My daughter is 14 she may have seen her Bio father twice in 7 years. She was home a few months ago in twin and her did not even know her. When she was younger she would see him once a month or so but only because I let his grandmother have visitation and she paid her cs but the grandmother passed away in 2005. The two times my daughter did go to her Bio fathers house I had to take her to er for things that happened under his care. I recently got remarked and my husband is fringe to adopt her its going to be interesting to see how her Bio father reacts. I devoriced him when she was 6 months and we've been on our own till now. Good luck and never force unimportant to visit the child. I know its hard but I promise when children get older the do see things for what they are they pick up on a lot more than we realize

Mia - posted on 02/24/2012

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I'm just now seeing this because I rarely get on here but my son saw his father last week.. We see him all the time!!!! My relationship with my son's father is :D!!!!

Julie - posted on 02/24/2012

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My kids dad don't see them as often as he used to since a CPS was reported to where he was staying with his brother. I think, he got scared and didn't want his girls to cause any more problems reporting incident to me.... Really, he should be protecting his own girls,, but he didn't... Anyway, ever since, he sees them maybe every other weekend on one day or maybe every two weeks for one day. Kids are not allow to go over to where he is staying so he has to see them elsewhere. Lately, he has been backing off even more which I would say it is alot better for my kids anyway, but that is his lost.....

Melissa - posted on 02/23/2012

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Clark's going to be a year in 8 days and has met his father once. He met him at 6 months and has only tried to contact me when I threatened to go for child support and has never said Clark's name or anything. I wrote him a letter stating that he will not contact me or anything and ill give Clark his number when he's 18 and that's it.

Annette - posted on 02/23/2012

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My 2 kids dad left me in 2010 when i was 6 months prego with my daughter and my son was 9 months old. he came back and was there for my sons first birthday and then left again and then march 1 when my daughter was born he showed up 12 hours after. since march 1st 2011 he has not seen either of them nor asked to. as far as i am concerned we are so much better off without him.

Leslie - posted on 02/23/2012

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my kids dad hasnt seen them in over a year, and honestly they are happier not seeing him.

Kristen - posted on 02/19/2012

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welp i been mom and dad from day one for both mi bbys i hav a 3 year old (christopher) and 3 month old (rylan) christophers dad comes on holidays he started soccer bout a month ago and dad actually decided to go and christopher looked at him and sed hey thats that boy christopher has no idea who he is he actually called my brother daddy for the longest time and mi bf now who i been with for liek 10 months if u ask christopher who his dad is he will tell u him but he calls him cody its odd but cute and rylans dad never not even when i was pregnant and even when rylan was in the hospital for a month cuz of multiple medical issues i was so close to losing mi bby and he still nvr showed my theory i get mi bbys 24/7 wat more could i ask for i love them and i will play mommy and daddy for as long as i have to

Natalie - posted on 02/19/2012

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My son is nearly 6 and he hasn't seen his father for nearly 2 yrs and unless he takes me to court for contact he won't be seeing my son until my son is old enough to make that choice himself! I found that my sons dad does not put our son as his number 1 priority as I do and his only interested in himself and once he could not have me anymore it was apprent that his interest in his son was jus an excuse to get to me (sad but true)!

I'm a single mother and believe that as my son has other positive role models around him, he will still benefit rather than being around the bull crap and negativity his father is all about....

You do whatever you have to do to protect you and ur daughter as you are the one who she is going to look up to the most x

Melissa - posted on 02/19/2012

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On Wednesday was the first time this month that he's seen our daughter who's 6.5 years old. The visitation schedule is supposed to be every Wednesday from 4 - 6 pm and every other weekend from 9 am - 6 pm, but he makes lame ass excuses when it's convienent for him and really only cares about her when he has a girlfriend and has to play his "Father of the Year" card. We've been divorced for almost 5 years (on February 21).

Dumase - posted on 02/19/2012

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Hmmm, Hes my neibour and we havene spoken in over 6 months. hes not interested in seeing the boy so i donr bother asking him too either

Natasha - posted on 02/19/2012

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Have you tried mediation through a Family relationship centre, next step could be involving family Law courts to arrange supervised visits

Best of luck xx

Ria - posted on 02/18/2012

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My daughter hasn't seem her bdad at all. He knows about her and everything. For the first year, I would send pictures to his mother so that they could see her. But it would shays would be me doing the calling. They've neve sent her any money, clothes, nor diapers. After that, I stopped sending pictures. I never got a call for her fist birthday. Trip months later I get a call from get father for valentines day. After that, never heard from him. Now, I'm engaged with two more girls and a boy....all three bu the same guy. My oldest knows him as her daddy. My fiance doesn't even want him around he because he feels since he's been the one taking care of her and she knows him as daddy, there's no need for him to come into the picture. She's the now

Victoria - posted on 02/17/2012

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my son hasnt seen or had any contact from his dad since he was 15 months old...he will be 3 in septmber....i had nothing but problems from when the day i told him i was preg. if he can get hold of me thru my family he will, saying he is taking me to court becuz i was sick and tired of him telling me dates of when he can see my boy and then canceling on me while i was half way into town...i tried numorus times before i stoped access to explain to him he cant keep switching his mind it will affect our son but he doesnt seem to care...if ur ex isnt on ur daughters birth certificate he cant really do anything...ur her main parent if you think she isnt safe with him i would personally stop access x

Dana - posted on 02/17/2012

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It sounds like the environment he will expose her may not be healthy and possibly dangerous. It also sounds like you are torn between trying to keep him involved in her life and trying to keep her safe. Don't lie to yourself. It is far better for her to be without her father, while you pray silently that he gets it together, then to have a father that is in and out of her life. The pain and damage caused by a here today gone tomorrow daddy are far worse then telling her daddy loves you and will see you when he can give you what you need. I completely understand you are the one that has to hold her when she is hurt and see the tears when she can't see her daddy. But, never think you have to explain or make excuses for him. Just hold her and tell her you know it is hard and you hurt with her. As she grows and can understand more let her know she deserves so much better, but she will have to and has the right to ask him why he has chosen not to be the dad she needs. Listen to your motherly instinct and keep the mother of your child and her safe first. If you do nothing else don't let him have her till papers are in order. Filing for support is free and the right thing to do to protect her rights. You may think that costs money to obtain full custody but it doesn't have to at all. Trust me I am a single mother of three, in graduate school, no income or child support, and living at my mothers. If you need help finding free service let me know. Good luck to you.

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