Who should be called Dad?

RACHEL - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son is 5, and calls my brother dad. I have never told my son whom to call Dad, and he decided to call my brother Dad since he's always there for him everyday of his life. Of course my sons sees othere children have Dads, so my son automatically chose my brother.
His biological father has never really been in the picture. But now that he is visiting our son every week for 4 hours (whoop dee doo) consecutively for over a year, he thinks he should be called Dad. Yesterday my sons father told my son, not to call my brother Dad, that he needed to call him Dad. To me its not who makes him, its who raises him, and is there for him. My sons father still doesn't support my son financially. And when is he's around he's not putting 100% of his attention on him. What should I do?

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Skarlett - posted on 06/13/2012

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My cousin used to call my father dad. My dad helped raised him, but he knew my dad wasn't his biological dad, now he calls him uncle. It ahould be entirely up to your son whether he wants to call his biological father "dad" you can't just make him say it. But he should know who he calls "Dade" now is his uncle.

Kristen - posted on 06/12/2012

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I agree with Kristin that your son should at least be told that your brother is his uncle, and that your ex is his 'father', but yes ultimately the desicion on who to call dad is up to you guys. My best friend's daughter called me daddy at age 1 because I was always there (and her father wasn't), and guess what? She's 16 and still calls me daddy. Strange to others, natural for us.

Kristin - posted on 06/12/2012

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I think the choice needs to be up to your son. You need to explain to him that your brother is not his dad and is his uncle but it is ok to call him dad if your brother is ok with that. And explain to him that his dad is his dad. I have never heard of a child calling an uncle his dad but that is your guys' choice but he does need to be made aware of the true nature of things. My son didnt see his dad for over 6 years and he still called him dad and he calls his step father by his name and thats his choice. There is no right or wrong answer it is what you and your family are comfortable with

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