Why are you a single mum?

Kathy - posted on 04/20/2013

This was posted in 2010. I'm sure she knows the answer now. Kids are great. I'm so glad I had mine I would have had a pretty lonely life with out them.

Alisha - posted on 04/20/2013

Wow that's intense! How terribly sad. I'm a single mom because her dad has drinking and drug issues. He never wanted to be a family with us so I wasn't going to try and force it.

Diana - posted on 04/12/2013

I am a single mom because I choose to be my girls are more important to me than having a man in my life. My ex husband walked out on my daughter and I when she was 2 months old; he was told to get a job or get out. My ex boyfriend left two days after we found out I was pregnant; I was four months pregnant at the time. I have no idea why he left, he sold his truck for a plan ticket to Canada. My girls are now 2 and 5 years old and neither of the dudes seen my girls. I just started getting child support for my youngest daughter that is an off and on thing. I am happy as a single mom and I have an amazing village ( my family) to share them with!

Andria - posted on 04/12/2013

I'm single because there are not many men who want an overweight single mom who is raising two boys with special needs.

Amy - posted on 04/09/2013

I'm not a single mom anymore but I was for 13 years. I loved it. I was married to my daughters spermdonar for 2 when I found out I was pregnant. I was working two jobs trying to save money for a divorce so I knew I was on my own. He only wanted my daughter around when he had a new gf so he could play the doating daddy. But I would not let her be used that way. He hurt her so much over the years. I loved being a single mom never wanted to share what we had and never felt anyone was worthy of being in her life. That was until I met back up with my hs sweetheart we were married Christmas day 2011 and with her request he adopted my girl May 16 2012. now that she's a teenager n boys want to date im happy she finally has a daddy.

Pamela - posted on 04/07/2013

I find it interesting that you want to know the reason others have chosen to be single parents. Why? Do you think that knowing someone else's story will help you in some way?
From your post it appears that you may have need of more self awareness which will help you a lot more than hearing other people's stories.
I find that these days (from 2012 forward) we are each being shown what it is that WE need to learn to become better people. That does not include, nor is there time to be concerned with the lives of others.
It's "In your face time", which to me means we should all be so concerned with cleaning up our own acts that we do not have the time to be concerned about the personality problems of others that do not directly affect our daily lives.
Becoming the best Mother possible should be your primary concern, not why others are single moms.
The highest and best to you in your ability to become the best possible parent for your child.

Michelle - posted on 04/04/2013

Wow I do feel for you. I never let the dad of my child be around her because he never proved himself worthy of being in her life. I do wish you and your son the best of luck. It is hard but it can be done. I don't get child support or anything and go to school and still manage to take care of my baby girl. I do have help from my mom, thank God for her.

Katina - posted on 04/04/2013

Single mom of twin boys now age 13. And a 16 yr old son. Single cause my husband was killed. He was always volenteering his time helping. This day was working with a crew of young men chipping limbs that were cut down to brush back the snowmobile trail . The chipper malfunctioned killing him and injuring another worker. That was 3 years 7 months ago. Tried to date but hard cause still love my husband and after 15 years of being married dating is whole different ball game . Find that there are more dishonest men out there then honest ones!

Raine - posted on 04/03/2013

When my son was 5 months old I found out that he was neglecting my child when he was with him during the day and out doing drugs at night. I kicked him out and hes seen my son maybe 3 times in the past 5 1/2 years. His loss.

Danielle - posted on 03/30/2013

I'm a single mum, my son is 8 months old. My ex walked out on us 2 days ago reasons being he wanted to live his own life and focus on himself. He then said sorry and was telling me to that he would make it better, he is now out with his mates getting drunk for the weekend. This is the third time he has done it to me now and it hurts so much! My little boy doesn't cry or want for nothing and he has turned away and left us for what.... a weekend on the piss.
He is now living with his mum sleeping on the floor with no money to his name and not providing for his baby boy!!!

Angela - posted on 01/20/2012

i'm a single mom.. and have been for the past 3 years. i was with my sons father for almost 2 years. not even a year into the relationship i found out i was pregnant. which was a complete surprise because obviously we weren't trying to have a baby. i thought he'd freak out cuz he told me from the getgo that he never wanted to have kids. when my son was a few months old we decided to end things cuz we were fighting all the time. then i found out(after we broke up) that he wanted to break up because almost our entire relationship he was cheating on me with a chick half his age(he was 27 she was 18). after we broke up he started seeing my son, keaghan, less and less. eventually after keaghan turned 1, he was almost entirely out of the picture unless he decided that he wanted to play daddy for the day. now he is completley out of the picture, engaged to the chick he was cheating on me with and they now have a baby boy together. which of coarse he's replaced keaghan with. but on the plus side he was never a good dad and a complete ass. and i say this to all the ladies on here... we(including our amazingly wonderful kids) are sooo much better off without the spermdonors in their lives.

Casey - posted on 01/20/2012

ive been a single mom since i was 18. and i wouldnt have it any other way. i love it ! im single because my oldest daughters father is addict and my two kids under age 2 their father is in need of alot of growing up. and he is 8 years older then me!!! ugh. but i love it and i love being the one to hold my lil ones all the time.

Tavonna - posted on 12/30/2011

I'm single with 3 children 2 different daddies, both fathers are very diffrent in alot of was. My first he didn't say he didn't want anything to do with his child he just walked away and didn't seem to care for almost 2 yrs. of her life. He then tried to get me back but he was all about not being real with me. not telling me somthing is the same as lying. and if i can't trust you then we can't work. The other 2 father well he was there he suck around but he was controlling, abusive and a cheater. He's now married don't do anything for his kids but every now and again he calls not to speak to his kids but to tell me he wants me and how he made a mistake. what an asshole! So now i been single for the past 7yrs i dont trust anymore. both fathers are in relationships and still try to get at me at times. I just smh and keep going.

Cheryl - posted on 12/29/2011

My daughter's father and I were together for about six months when I got pregnant, he freaked out and started hanging with some people who were feeding him bad advice (telling him I faked the pregnancy, used faked ultrasounds) and convinced him that I was no good. About 4 months into the pregnancy, he changed his number, then started harassing my OBGYN for information. He has even claimed that he isn't the father, so after a DNA test, which he claims I falsified the results of, he still denies he is her father.
He saw her once when she was 3 months old but hasn't seen her since. I got him a job, and a place to live and he chose to stay where he is and not be part of our lives. I bought him a train ticket to visit us, and made arrangments with a friend to borrow her place for a weekend, but he still chose to stay with his "friends" and smoke weed. Who would have thought a 38 year old would be so childish?
He has recently begun to come in and out our lives through email, and refuses to have phone contact, but I will not let him to that do her. I have cut him off from my life communication wise, but according to the court, he has the right to see, not pay support and to know where we are living. I have been doing this all on my own, and he hasn't helped at all.
Ultimately it is his loss, and she is beautiful, funny, smart and he doesn't know what he is missing.

Raquel - posted on 12/28/2011

My daughter's father and I were married 5 years before we had our daughter. We are now separated and I have been raising our daughter 100% on my own since she was just a few months old. As soon as we split up he left the country, back to his birth place. He isn't exactly "involved" in her life because of the distance but he isn't a terrible person. Things just didn't work out the way we had hoped. If he decided to come back to the US and live here I would have to share custody, something I dread only because I can't imagine spending a night away from my daughter. We video chat and email when we both can with her, she knows him well even though she is only 20 months old. I do not ask him for anything, and we are both fine that way. Yes, my daughter deserves a father in her life, and she has one. Yes, he may not be physically present and yes, our marraige did not work out but I do not hate him for that, I have moved on from the past and have accepted the way our lives are now and my daughter and I are both happy. :)

Nicole - posted on 12/28/2011

I dated my son's father for a year, and eventually got engaged to him. When I found out I was pregnant with our son he called off the engagement and broke up with me while I was 5 1/2 along into the pregnancy. It was a very difficult time for me for many reasons, mostly because I couldn't believe how someone who claimed they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me could break up with me and be evil about it too. I was told to never contact his children or other family members, and was called every dirty name in the book. Also, during the pregnancy I was terminated from my job because of the pregnancy ( he and my employer, who are friends tried to bully me into an abortion) and I got on public assistance for awhile. There is a happy ending to this! My son is now 3 years old, I work part time and am a full time college student and will be graduating college in the spring. Then I will be attending another college to further my education. I have full custody of my son, but more importantly I have become a much stronger person for having gone through this experience. Now the man I allow into my and my son's life will have to be truly worthy of being a part of it!

Mel - posted on 12/24/2011

I am a single mom because my ex hit me and I tried to stay with him for my daughter but I almost lost her and then told him if he wanted to see her he would have to have supervised visits. He moved to BC before she was born and got 2 other girls pregnant again before she was born. Thats why I am a single mom

User - posted on 12/24/2011

I was a single mom with my son (whos 4 now) because his dad kept denying him and I decided I didnt want my son to deal with a dad who's keep hurting him. Then I got with my ex husband on my sons 1st birthday and we had a child together (a girl, 11 months) and we got married in August and he got really abusive. So Im in a horrible custody battle now and being a single mom which I LOVE. At least more then being with dumb guys... oh and Im pregnant with my ex husbands second child cause he raped me... it was very unplanned... but my children are my life and I wont treat this child any different just cause of the circumstances

Jessica - posted on 12/13/2011

im single for a reason , just cant deal with bs so better be single handling my business and not deal with certain people

Luvmia - posted on 12/11/2011

I'm a single mother because I grew sick and tired of the abuse, laziness and lack of help from his father. So I broke up with him. After that, it seems he does not want much to do with him especially he now has a new family. Wow, such a wonderful man.

Serafine - posted on 12/09/2011

I had a child with a man 15 yrs younger than me. After 3 years, I eventually had to give up and tell everyone they were right, it's no fun raising an adult male. But even more than this generic piece of wisdom, is the one that says: Live with your man for at least a year before having children with them. More than age, it was co-habitating compatibility that broke us up. (Though the two are somewhat linked).

Melissa - posted on 11/01/2011

I am a single mom by choice or at least I like to think so. There was a paternity issue because I was young and stupid but was completely honest with both guys. The first was someone I went back and forth with for 2 years before getting pregnant and 6 years after. I could have picked up my life and my child, moved to Florida, married him immediately and then probably still gotten my heart broken, being stranded from my family after giving everything up for some guy. But I chose differently. He only cared about his career and only wanted me when it was convenient for him. When we found out he wasn't the father like the doctor had told us, that didn't seem to matter to him and I did contact the other guy who pretended he wanted to involved but then after a few months I realized that wasn't the case. So I take care of my daughter with the help of my wonderful family and we will manage. It is tough especially without financial and moral support from the person 1/2 responsible for creating her and with her having the issues she does but we will manage and be just fine.

LovingMom - posted on 11/01/2011

Got married when I was 25 & hubby 30, conceived only after 8 years and gave birth at age 33, we were so thrilled and over the moon, was elated that he survived after spending 1week in icu! (I stayed in hospital with him the whole time.) 3 years later while trying for no2, hubby went through mid-life, started an affair, quit his job, told me if I don't get a job I won't have food on my table, he'll take care of our son. It literally happened overnight and I was so shocked I couldn't believe it! So he married his secretary. At the time I was a SAHM taking care of our 3 year old son, and her kids were 2 and 1, and that was 15 years ago. Will not go into the 15 years of non-stop utter hell that's still ongoing, with yet another court date approaching soon, it's not just the ex, it's the step too - wish they will only stop and let me live in peace!

Shannon - posted on 10/31/2011

I have always thought that i'm a single mom by choice. I knew my son's father did not want kids... well birth control failed and I was afraid to tell him. He is one of those men who say jump and expect you to ask how high. When he did find out through a mutual friend he asked me to get an abortion and slept with my best friend. The relationship was over and I loved it. He became abbusive to her and eventually that relationship ended as well. He insisted a few more time that i get an abortion or put the child up for adoption. I refused and insisted on raising him myself. All our issues since have been about child support and custody. Since my son's birth things have mellowed out between the father and me but we still have only one thing in common... our child. I have a wonderful man in my life now who my son calls daddy and although it bothers his father my son (now 3 1/2) will put him firmly in his place by calling him by his first name.

Maryanne - posted on 10/30/2011

The reason why I am a single Mum, because of more than 6 years ago I was vilently raped by my ex boyfriend and his friend who I have never met, they never got charged over it, one took off the other kept on driving a bus, it has emotional and Psychologically scared me for the rest of my life, I am too scared to get involved with men, I want to be so much happy in my life for some man to respects and cares for me, including knowing what happened to me, I suffer for the past 11 yrs with a serious chronic illness plus oestoarthritis which in its third stage, bones are damaged to the rest of my skeleton frame, the rape hasn't helped my body, because of that I am a single Mum, I have three grown adult kids plus a grandchild on the way (Jamuary 2012). Men can eaither F'K you up or Be the best for you, my luck I will never be lucky with the right man, I am 51 yrs old, too much of my life has been waisted and ruined by men, men are hard to trust as we as Mum have to protect ourselves and our kids!

Maryanne

Jacqueline - posted on 10/30/2011

I am a single mother to a beautiful 6 year old girl. Her father and I loved each other very much. We dated for a little over a year before moving in together. When we found out I was pregnant, it was scary, but we were ready to take this on. I should mention that her father had a rough life. He never met his biological parents..wasn't even sure if they were still alive, only that they were both addicts and suffered from mental illness. He was adopted by a family he described to be wonderful and loving, but by the time he was 17, he had lost his mom, dad, sister, and one of two brothers. His remaining brother wanted nothing to do with him. Needless to say, not knowing where to go, being scarred by losing the family he took care of, he turned to drugs, being homeless a lot of the time. Anyway, it were these things that went through my mind the first time he slapped me. I was already pregnant and tried to justify his actions. Things only got worse. The night before I gave birth, he followed my into a womans bathroom in a fir of rage and attacked me. As I kicked him off of me, I felt Madison shift. My water broke early next morning on the couch. I left him when she was 1 week old. We tried to work things out, get him counseling, everything I could think of. The day she walked in and saw him being physically abusive, crying in the doorway, I knew that if I made it out of that apartment alive, I was gone for good. He spent years trying to get his life on track until last May. He was having stomach pains and laid down instead of going to the ER. He died in his bed. That is ultimately why I will be a single mum, until mat be I find someone worthy of the responsibility.

Dana H - posted on 10/27/2011

who ever dreams of finally getting pregnant after years of being told i couldnt. then the situation wasnt the best either as two men two weeks apart was in question as to who the father was, i wasnt with either. one chose to be with us. when he chose to stay with us i thought kool, bt things changed when the baby was born, he changed, i got post-natal, he turned axxhole and by the second one i was over it. he told me he owned me for life could do what ever he wanted to me. he did what he wanted. life got confusing and hard. i'm single coz life didnt hand me a normal situation to begin with. i still feel real bad about the situation at the begining but i have the most wonderful son ever!! depression from guilt and anger overwhelm me still bt i love my son, i watched him for 3 months fight for his life as a 3 mth prem baby and knew i had to stay with him, im glad.

Mariette - posted on 10/27/2011

4th July 2008 is the exact same day I would never forget. That was the day, my ex-husband walked out on me and his 2 month old baby girl. Today my angel-pie is 3 years old, has no idea who her dad is as he has chosen not to be a part of her life. Things happen for very good reason. And as much as I would like my baby to know her father, I am very glad that she is not exposed to the alcohol abuse, physical abuse or the emotional abuse.

Mariette - posted on 10/27/2011

4th July 2008 is the exact same day I would never forget. That was the day, my ex-husband walked out on me and his 2 month old baby girl. Today my angel-pie is 3 years old, has no idea who her dad is as he has chosen not to be a part of her life. Things happen for very good reason. And as much as I would like my baby to know her father, I am very glad that she is not exposed to the alcohol abuse, physical abuse or the emotional abuse.

Lesley - posted on 06/06/2011

Hey Raychael

Im a single mum to one from Glasgow.My sons father put me through hell due to addiction and in the end we lost him x

Julie - posted on 06/05/2011

I was widowed at age 27 and left with three precious little ones -

Jane - posted on 06/05/2011

My husband died from the effects of diabetes, leaving me to finish raising our two kids. However, I was in essence a single mom much longer because he was in the hospital so often and for so many days and weeks. He was a wonderful man and I miss him very much. He would be proud of his kids, though.

Keyna - posted on 06/05/2011

Hi there, I'm a single mom and honestly loving it i was with my daughters father for only 3 months but he made it seem like he wanted her then when i was 2 months Along he was drinking and partying constantly so I gave him an ultimatum it was either the drinking and the partying or me and the baby. He chose the drinking so yup been through everything on my own thank god for my family! Lol

Alexis - posted on 06/02/2011

I am recently single, again! I was with my ex a total of almost 11 years, 9 married and 2 dating. I am 27. I would say the first problem was getting together at 16. He drinks a lot, started smoking spice and being stupid and having angry outbursts even when sober, (which is odd for him sober). When he was drunk and broke my sons window fighting with someone else and ended up in jail that night then preceded to call me very name under the son in front of my son the next day sober I was done. My son is almost 2 and I don't want him raised in this atmosphere. Our relationship didnt start off like this at all, but it ended being qualified for Jerry springer...

Cindy - posted on 06/01/2011

hi i am a single mum because i thought he was the best person at the time we were together for about 4-5 months when i learnt i was pregnant at 18 it was ok then he promised to look after us and all so by the time i was 5-6 months pregnant we moved in together, and things started to turn for the worst, i had to be in bed at the same time as him and the name calling the yelling, but when i was 8 months pregnant i wanted my mum in the delivery room, he didn't like that so he was yelling at me and i went to walk away and he pinned me down by my wrist and it really hurt.
i choose to forgive him for it and then the pyshical abuse kept happening.
i choose to leave him when my little girl was 3 months old as it was the last straw when he had me in a head lock, he kept on saying sorry but enough was enough, it was very confusing but thanks to the support of my mum and family i got out of there,
but the sad part is that my little girl is 4yrs old and he is still in her life but the sad part about it is my little girl is seeing abuse when she goes there with the girlfriend, but there's not alot i can do about it. the best thing is she starts school next year and she is soo bright and smart she is the world to me.
i'd love to stay a single mum forever

Tanya - posted on 05/23/2011

I know this group was started a long time ago but I am the mum of a beautiful little girl Eve, she is 21 months old and I left her Dad when she was 7 months old, he was an alcoholic, drug addict and mentally and at the end phyically abusive, I just couldnt bring my little girl up in that kind of an environment, I knew it would be hard on my own but realistically I was doing it all on my own anyway, he would claim to want to spend time with her but she would see him for about 20 mins a day then he would go off onto his pc and have his Mantime.. lol smoke drugs and get drunk.. he claimed I purposefully got pregnant, I wasnt supposed to be able to have any children, he was that arrogant that he thinks I chose him to get pregnant too lol.. we had only dated for 2 months when I fell, I didnt really know him.. but I tried to make it work.. oh well it is all good now, he sees her every 2 months or so as he lives in a different city, he appears to be trying.. we are happy that is what counts.. good luck all you single mums out there.. stay strong..

KaSandra - posted on 03/16/2011

I am a single mom to a beautiful 9 month old daughter. her father and i were together for about 7 months before we ended up pregnant but we were very excited, we wanted to be a family and were in love. we didn't have to best of relationships but we loved each other. he was there for her birth and we lived together until she was almost 5 months and then i moved back into my parents because we had been fighting a lot , however he was still in her life as often as he could be. she was his pride and joy. I am officially a single mom because he was in a car accident, he was on his way to see us and he crashed and passed away on the scene of the accident. she was 5 months old when that happened. i miss him every day and i feel sorry for our daughter she wont remember him and for him he doesn't get to be here and watch her grow. [RIP] I am 18 and he was 21.

- - posted on 03/14/2011

My sons dad and I broke up a few months before our sons 3rd birthday. I was single for 2 weeks before I met someone else... And I sure as hell regret it!

So as you can probably guess, we didn't last too long.

So, I've been single for 3 months.

More mother and son time :) he'll always come first.

Elly - posted on 03/02/2011

I AM A SINGLE MOM AND HAVE BEEN SINCE MY BABY WAS 7 MONTHS OLD. ITS HARD BUT ITS BEST ON YOUR OWN THAN WITH SOME1 THAT BRINGS U DOWN AND MAKES U UNHAPPY. GOOD LUCK XX

Stephanie - posted on 11/06/2010

Even tho I didnt leave my babys dad until she was nearly 8 months old, I may as well have been a single parent from the day she was born. he hardly ever helped out with her. He got made redundant earlier on in the year and even tho he had 3 months notice of it did nothing to find another job, then moped around the house. I was still on maternity leave and he expected me to do everything around the house and look after our daughter. He would sleep on the settee during the day and complain that she was making too much noise. If i left her with him i would come back to find her crying with a dirty nappy, the only time he changed it was when it run down her legs. Even now im lucky if he sees her for an hour a week.

Sophia - posted on 11/04/2010

My ex turned out to be a textbook sociopath! i was with him 3 years and found out many bad things... Disgusting lifestyle. I cut him off and he never asked why. I was alone the entire pregnancy and he served me custody papers 10 days before giving birth. He wants full custody and child support. He's nuts and any normal person would be knocking on my door to see their child or find out why the relationship ended. He hasn't done anything!!!

Mariel - posted on 11/03/2010

Well Im a single mum cause as soon as i tell the sperm donor i was pregnant, he said thats not my child and go look for the d*ck who gor you pregnant..what an assh*le, so since that day the only Ive heared from him is insulting words and nothing else. Hes from the Us and im latina. He doesnt give a damn about me or the child and thanks God and my family who gives me strengh and support, Im raising my child with so much love and no fights or sadness like i used to have when I was with that dude. Its kinda sad sometimes to know you are alone and gotta raise your child by yourself, but come on we are women and without us the world is nothing. so we are woman enough to play both roles(mommy and daddy). Im glad I have my son with him and Im gonna teach him the best things in life.

Serene - posted on 08/19/2010

I am a single parent of a 2 year old boyand a 2 month old girl. My sons father and i was together for 5 years and i ended up getting pregnant with a little boy. I didn't think that i could have children. My sons father and i started arguring more because he started to get high. I asked him to leave the house and he ended up leaving the state for a year. He came back so that he could be with his son and he claims that he is clean.... We'll see. My daughter is from a sperm donor. We were together for 3 months and when he found out i was pregnant he denied her, from this day on he still does. My daughter looks like my son and me. My genes are awesome because people also think that my daughter looks alot like my sons father. LOL he claims her too. My sons father and i were going to try and work things out, but i find that we are better off as friends. :-)

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2010

The reason why I am a single mom is my daughter's dad left when I was 5 months pregnant with her. The more I found more about his friends the more thinking i did. I did try to contact him but he changed his numbers and he told people that my daughter was not his. Therefore I decided that my daughter is better off without him. Why would I want a person around my daughter that did not want her?

Ashley - posted on 08/17/2010

I'm a single mom to a beautiful 9 month old girl. my boyfriend and i were together for a year & a half when i found out i was pregnant ( not planned! ) things were great until she was 6 months old..when he got sick of the responsibility and left us for another woman. he hasn't really been a big part of my daughter life since.

Teresa - posted on 08/17/2010

Raychael, I think there is a reason why a soon-to-be-born baby came to your life. It is to bring happiness to your life. Yes, there are trials and responsibilities that comes along with it. Nevertheless, motherhood is the greatest journey you'll take even without the "disgusting" father. I myself is a single mom. I've hurdled some of the trials on the way and still on the journey of rocky road. Yet at the end of the day. I can honestly say, I'm happy being single mom. I'm with the most precious person in my life, my son.


-from Teresa, writer of
Best Moms’ Rule Number 1: Anticipate System Down
at http://blog.clariity.com

Lauren - posted on 08/17/2010

I am a single mother of a beautiful six month boy named Samuel. His father wasn't as thrilled as I was when we found out. He told me two things. One abort it. Two pick between him and our child. To make a long story short, I dumped him. He was a heavy drug addict and alcoholic. He was verbual abusive and angry all the time. We were together seven months when the oops happened.

Leah - posted on 08/17/2010

My childs father told me he would pay for me to have an abortion and when i said no he got pissed and hung up on me..called me later to apoligize. we stayed together for a month after that in which time he started to drink really heavy and turned abusive. he would hit me if i wouldnt have sex with him. so one day he just fell off the face of the earth come to find out he was in and out of jail throughout my whole pregnancy denying it was his..and 2 weeks after i had my son he calls me up saying he wants to be there when he was born( i had no idea how to get ahold of him, told his dad, but he didnt relay the message i guess)...i told him that i had him already and he yelled at me again...has seen his son 6 times hasnt helped with anything, no financial support, and he has now replaced us with a new gf and a dog.....

Michelle - posted on 08/17/2010

Sorry so long but I've really been needing to get that out!! Thank you all for understanding!

Michelle - posted on 08/17/2010

I'm a single mom 23 years old. My little girl will be 1 Sept 15. Me and her sperm donor had a bad relationship as it was but he made it really hard to leave him. Pretty much our entire relationship was spent either fighting or sexing. There were a few good days mixed in but they usually ended pretty bad. He was very mentally, physically, and psychologically abusive and very controlling, I wasn't allowed to go to the rest room alone. Any time I tried to leave him he would threaten to burn my house down with my mom in it or some other horrible thing. He took our dog when we broke up then she got sick and he dropped her off in our yard. Me and my mom invited him over when I found out I was pregnant to tell him. Of course my mom did the talking because you know how it is when you love someone, no matter how horrible they may be. He had a problem with thinking that selling drugs is a job. Wanted to tell us as long as I can pay the bills it shouldn't matter how I do it. I wanted a better life for my child then that, a legitimate job where if he continued being a loser I could get child support. But things didn't work how I planned... he wanted to say no one was going to keep him from his kid and that sparked a nerve in me and I told him I was the only one that could keep him away from this child. My original due date was changed so he didn't know when I was going to have her and I didn't put him on the birth certificate. He has tried to contact us 2 times in a year and he didn't even go about it in a mature manner, he texted my mom saying he has a lawyer and we had 48 hours to get in touch with him. All he would have to do is ask to see her and we would tell him a public place we could meet but he can't do it so I'm not offering. And I'm sure if he really had a lawyer I would have been served papers by now. It just shows he's still up to his same old stupid ways. I finally got my mind right and know I don't deserve to be treated that way and will never subject myself or my beautiful baby girl to it. I will never allow him to take her alone, if he would put his hands on me what's to say he wouldn't do it to her????