why does my son thats two call me names and head butt stuff when he gets mad.

Tiffany - posted on 03/06/2010

Some of your son's behavior is simply because he is two. They don't call it the "terrible two's" because they are a ray of sunshine! LOL, two year olds can be horrible little tyrants. Also - if he's seen people on television talking to parents like that (we can all thank the Disney Channel and ABC Family etc. for making it "okay" to be disrespectful to adults...but that's another issue) or if he gets to watch wresting and other violent type shows he could be acting out the things he's seeing. Your best bet, in my opinion, is to remain consistant in your reaction. Be firm, and use words he'll understand. "No Thank You! I want you to _____) tell them what you WANT them to do. Not what you don't. Toddlers hear a simple "no" all the time. It seems to me when you use a firm, "no thank you!" and then tell them want you want it gets their attention. Tell him what will happen if he keeps doing it. "if you bit mommy again I will put you in time out/take away your ___ " whatever the consequence is. That way he knows, and when you follow through he'll see that you are serious. Some people want to say, "smack/kick/bite" him back, but really - how do you tell a child not to hit and then hit them? All that teaches kids is that I can hit you if I'm bigger than you.

Deanna - posted on 03/06/2010

Your son is just showing his emotions. He will be going through a lot of changes right now and is too young to articulate how he feels. Even though he is young he is picking up on everyones emotions and also he will be grieving for his old life. My daughter was only 5 months old when my husband walked out and she definately reacted. On top of all this he has entered the terrible twos and will be starting to push the boundaries any way. I suggest you get some councelling to help you manage his behaviour so that there are clear boundaries and discipline in place but still an outlet for his emotions. Lots of cuddles and lots of time out!!! Hurting anyone, including your self is not acceptable and he will have to learn this. Dont panic, he wont stop loving you, but he will get brassed off and test you every step of the way. Just when you think youve got it sorted and start to relax, he will try it again. My daughter is 7 now and still tests me out periodically to see if the rules still apply. Be there for your son and love him unconditionally, but dont tolerate crap!!!

Kelley - posted on 03/05/2010

My daughter did the same thing at that age after her dad and I seperated. In her case, she was picking up bad words/behavior at her dads house. It's unfortunate, but not unheard of for the absent parent to not use enough discretion when the child is in their care, even to go so far as bad mouthing the other parent to the child, which is a form of abuse. It could also just be that your son is confused about his circumstances and needs somewhere to place the blame. Children usually lash out at those they feel are "safest". I would start by implementing a consequence such as the "naughty chair" or "time out" (they say however old your child is that's how many minutes is appropriate for time out) If you think he may be picking up the behavior from his dad, it may be a good idea to discuss it with him in a non threatening way and remind him that you're only concerned about what's in the best interest of your child. For example; "It would be in his best interest if we both could be civil towards one another and not put him in the middle." I hope something I said may have helped. Good luck!