why people seem mean when they see a single mother

Paula - posted on 08/12/2009

Is it still such a big stigma to be a single Mum these days?

I think sometimes we can assume that that is the reason why people are being ignorant however, it is normally because they are just unhappy and judgemental towards people who appear different to themselves.

Although, saying this, if you have had an obvious encounter with someone who has judged you because you are a single mum, don't you feel proud that you're not as narrow-minded as them.

Kirstin - posted on 08/11/2009

If they knew every situation than maybe they would look at things differently, but us single mums get judged just as much as gays and lesbians. Were different to everyone else but they cant understand why. Its there problem they can deal with it. We know were great and how hard it is and that we do our best we can everyday. Thats all that counts

Latonya - posted on 08/10/2009

because they dont know how it feels to be a sinlge mom. Its hard work! Keep your head up and dont worry about those negative people.

Amber - posted on 08/10/2009

in my experience from going up in a household where my parents were together my father didn't really do anything and didn't even bring in that muchy money in the beginning of my life and to this day he still doesn't do a whole lot and most of my friends are in the same boat i personally am doing the same for my daughter than both of my parents ever did together for me and i am doing it alone. people just don't get that fathers sometimes are useless and i for one and glad i am a single parent even tho it isn't by choice.

Christinna - posted on 08/09/2009

Hey as far as I am concerned, we just dont have to clean up after those lazy bums! No dirty underwear, socks next to the basket, they are just jealous!

Gayle - posted on 08/08/2009

It is aweful sometimes how we as single mothers get treated.Some people dont understand even why some of us are single mothers. Some single mothers are because of choice, and others not. I heard someone in a store saying bad things about single mothers. I took a stand of course. I told this person that some mothers are in the situation that they are in because of bad things that had happened. Then I ask her some questions like: What if the man you were with beat you? What if the man you were with left you for another woman? What if you were raped, but chose to have the baby anyway because you dont believe in abortion? The lady told me that she never looked at it that way. I told her a lot of single mothers are more brave than others who are not. I have a friend that had the baby even though she was raped. She sees that rapist face everytime she looks in to her child's face, but she is happy that she gots her child. I have friend that her exhusband left her for another woman, and chose to sign his rights away. Then I told her why I was a single mother myself. This lady now every time I see her she gives me a hug, and tells me how I am a wonderful mother. Sometime us single mothers just needs to take a stand so that other can understand. I think that if there were some mothers that were put in our situation that they wouldnt handle it.

Cara - posted on 08/08/2009

I know what you mean. I got a couple of those mean looks or disapproving looks today when I took my kids school clothes shopping and attempted to do some shopping for me. Of course this is the time when both my kids decided to start acting up and push my nerves to the limit. But the other ladies in the store gave me one of those looks. That kinda stuff makes me mad and it is just plain wrong to judge another woman, another mom like that when you know nothing about her.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/07/2009

I don't have that experience of people being mean to me....but probably because i have an attitude on me and I will go off and defend my standpoint...All i can say is don't let it get to you because one these people are complete idiots and two what if they end up in the same spot then what are they going to do? Plus every single mother is and inspiration to someone somewhere and we have the most patience as well as the most determination and we work our a$$e$ off to ensure that our children have good lives so if they think down on us who cares we know that our children nine times out of ten are the ones who grow up well rounded and willing to work for what they want screw them

Kate - posted on 08/07/2009

they think we did it to ourselves. i hate to tell them but the days of daddy being around period because he married mom doesnt work. we were married we seperated he left me pregnant. and now im doing this alone it doesnt work out like our dreams.

Norah - posted on 08/07/2009

You are doing it all girl and they are just jealous cos you make it look so easy!

Lynnetta - posted on 08/07/2009

I am a single mom and I have gotten the same looks. It is nothing but pure ignorance on their part. My only advice is to hold your head high as if you are worth a million bucks. Don’t let it bother you. You be the best mom that you can be. All that matters is that your children are loved and cared for. Keep your head held high and walk proud. Welcome to single motherhood. What doesn’t break us makes us stronger.

Sandi - posted on 08/06/2009

Rachel, they have no clue what we deal with as single parents. I think they're intimidated by the thought of being a single parent. They may also be afraid that it could be them in our situation. I have had friends and co-workers comment to me how amazed they are that I'm doing it all on my own.

If they're in a 2 parent home, they're used to being able to let the other make the decisions with them. We don't have that luxury.

Kim - posted on 08/06/2009

I am sorry you are getting that from people. In my case, most feel bad that J's father plays such a small role in his life. I call him the weekend babysitter. He doesn't even pay child support. Keep your head up and know that God is with you and will not give you more than you can bear. I am here if you ever want to talk.

Carrissa - posted on 08/05/2009

they are jus close minded ppl who havnt been in our situation.... and jelous they cant be as strong as we are... they really have no idea its not as if we have purposely put ourselves in this situation...

Rachel - posted on 06/13/2009

They judge without knowing how much patience and diligence it takes. My heart is all for my children and The Lord. That is were my help come from.

Kendra - posted on 06/13/2009

pure ignorance they have no idea how tough it is to be a single mum.