Worried... Working mum how to get majority of time- custody?

Faye - posted on 06/18/2012

My cousin has a very different arrangment with his ex than I did with mine. Him and the kids (6 and 7) live in my aunt's house. Monday morning they ride the bus to school, Monday afternoon they come home from school, ride the bus Tuesday morning, mom picks them up at school on Tuesday afternoon. Mom takes them to school on Wednesday morning, Wednesday night they ride the bus home. Thursday morning they ride the bus to school, Thursday afternoon, mom picks them up at school and drops them off at school on Friday morning. If it is her weekend then she picks them up at school on Firday afternoon and brings them back to the house on Sunday afternoon. If it is his weekend, they ride the bus home on Friday afternoon and it starts over the following Monday. Keeping in mind that mom lives about 20 miles from school, dad and grandmother. In my opinion, that is a lot of driving on her end but it was what was decided when they split.

We had the tradional visit set up. My kids remained in the house with me and he would pick them up every other weekend. Once he moved out of the area, then we had to find a meet up point, normally 1/2 way for each. Right now our 1/2 point is 5 miles longer for me as there is not an exit on the interstate at our true half point. We have most always used a gas station or a fast food restaurant as our point.

Hannah - posted on 06/17/2012

Some things to keep in mind - the 4 year old may have a different custody schedule than the 22 month old. for the 22 month old s/he really shouldn't be away from either parent for more than three days. The 4 year old can easily go every other week. Just something to think about developmentally speaking.

Otherwise - see a lawyer! :)

Christina - posted on 06/16/2012

I would agree with below, find an attorney to fight for this for you, and keep notes and evidence in a safe place, as well as create a circle of people to testify on your behalf.

Louise - posted on 06/16/2012

Most primary homes are given to the mother as your children are so very young. You need to seek legal advice here and protect yourself. I really hate this pass the kids about routine but it seems to be quite common. Your children will adapt to their new routine and eventually it will be the norm for them. I think the two meals all together is going to be a huge strain on all of you once he has finally moved away from the home. I really can not see this being pleasant for any one with all this going on in the back ground. Yes it is nice to be civil to each other but having to be nice for an entire meal and act false is going to show the kids that this is a farce!

I would go for custody as normal and get maintenance as much as you can. He may feed the kids but on a daily basis they need clothes and shoes and educational toys to keep them stimulated. This is costly and buying them food does not keep them warm and safe at nights!

See a solicitor to see what you can and can not do. It is better to be prepared for battle than silly enough to be dicatated to.