does it get easier?

Evian - posted on 11/22/2008 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My beautiful son is about 15 mths old and me and his father are no longer together. I know i shoudl start dating and getting out there... but it just seems so hard! any advice ladies??

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I agree with Odette.  If you can get out and socialize do it.  Don't be on the hunt for someone just let coast.  I have been a single mom for 12 years.  I just couldn't do it.  To much thought into it, to much anxiety,  It was all about my son, which it should've been I was just a little over protective.  I didn't want anyone to come into my life and screw it up.  Make sure you spend the time with your child....don't become a party hopper everynight..lol  Just when your given the chance to socialize..take the chance.  It will keep you social until it happens for you.

Odette - posted on 01/29/2009

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seriously dont stress about it, i just put it to that back of my mind and enjoyed seeing mates and socialsing whenever my parents would have my daughter (they are pretty good with looking after her)

then one nyt i go out with a couple of mates dressed as cats ( i love fancy dress think it may have been sumones bday)

anyway had a picture with this guy got tagged on facebook and been with him for over a yr and a half my daughters only 2

dont stress woteva happens, happens for a reason and dnt go searching for it just find good friends and socialise things soon fit into place

Carla - posted on 01/14/2009

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Ditto to the advice already posted, especially about bringing new people into your son's life.  Be very, very careful about that.  Try to have patience though it is hard sometimes when you miss/crave having someone special but don't settle.  Also, treat dating like looking for a job - let people you know and trust that you are available.  They might have some good recommendations on potential dates.  Also, be open-minded - don't cross someone off your possible list just because he might be a type you've never dated before.  You might be surprised.  Hope that helps!

Faylynn - posted on 01/14/2009

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The best advice i can  give you is be patient !! Dont rush into somthing just to have somebody!! I know how lonely that empty side of the bed . But its better to have that side stay cold that to have it be warmed up by random people or by someone that wont be good for you or to you son !! Be selecitve VERY Selective. Your son is young and you want a Posotive male around him. Not just some Joe. Never settle  for 2nd best . Or less than you Deserve . DO not Comprimise on that. Dont settle just to have somone when your feeling lonley !!! thats a NO NO !!!!!!!!!!!! ie one night stands , aka bootie calls. Freinds with benefits. none of that . Its all or nothing . You deserve it and so does your son .  Dating has a whole knew set of rules when you have kids. Know what your personal boundries are before you go out and make them clear! Dont every guy you "date" meet your baby . Because every guy  you "date " isnt the one. Sometimes a date is just a date. Right? Remember the Rules are differant now that your a mom. Your not just dating for you.. Your dating for someone that may end up  being the step father ... to your son ... way way down the road.....

Keisha - posted on 11/23/2008

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aw im big on joint custody because kids need both parents.. it will also allow you to have good breaks.. my ex and i have 4/3 days. i get 4 and he gets 3. it took a long time before we were able to see eye to eye on things like that. we had to think about our child and put her first. i am now engaged and have a 13, 6 and 15 month old. im happy an im glad me and my baby daddy let go of each other. we were toxic to each other... sorry to ramble hon

Keisha - posted on 11/23/2008

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yes it does. pray for strength. try to have a joint custody verbal agreement with your childs father so that both of you are getting time with your son. if the dad is not around... look for family and friends to help. i was single mother at one point and if it wasnt for my fam man i would have went bananas... my babys father didnt want any parts of her if we wasnt together.. so i prayed a lot and family helped me. you will get thru it. your strong!!! keep praying and if your not relgious just think positive an know that you can do it!!

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