HELP!!! I'm now a compleatly single mum, left to play mummy and daddy and really need advice.

Heather - posted on 10/22/2012

I say shes better off at this point in her life. He sounds immature and not ready to be a dad. I say take his ass to court and get child support. even if hes not willing to participate in being a parent he can still pay for the child he had. It does get easier eventually. It helps to have support from family or friends. My ex had an affair when I was pregnant and had a 2 year old. Mine are now 9 and 7, so I get it. I can give you advice on services to help you if you need it. Otherwise good luck.

Heather - posted on 03/11/2011

You are completely doing the right thing! I went through similar things with my daughters father and while I would like to see him have a strong presence and involvement in my daughters life, I can't make anyone do anything. I have just gone on with my life and if he chooses to be around for her, great. If not then it is truly his loss. I no longer contact him about her and the moment I stopped his effort started! Your child doesn't deserve the stress this type of drama this behavior would bring into her life, nor do you. For myself, I decided that no matter how much I love my daughters father, I love my daughter and myself far more. I live for her and do the best by her every single day. It haunts me sometimes when I realize that he may hurt her emotionally in the years to come, but all I can do is be there for her, not speak badly about him and love her with all of my heart. All children deserve to be able to make up their own mind about the people in their lives and your daughter, just as mine, will someday see what you did for her and who was and wasn't there during her upbringing. I am still single and take care of my child all day everyday. We find inner strength that we don't know we had when we have to! You can do this for yourself and for your precious daughter. Good luck!

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 03/03/2011

And im sure you will do a great job of raising her to be a strong smart little woman. Believe in yourself. :)

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 03/03/2011

No worries hope it all sorts it self out for you. :)

Zarabeth - posted on 02/28/2011

Thank you. I hope i will do a good job I only have male mates my useless dad and my little brother so she hasn't got many males around her. Maybe one day I will find someone who wants to be with me and wont mess me about but for the moment i've lost all faith in men. Well i'm glad some people do turn out ok! supose it could just be who your parents are and what there like growing up. Thanks for your help :)

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 02/28/2011

#stay strong i ment to write. Stupid keyboard

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 02/28/2011

You did the right thing. Hes either 100% there for her, or 100% not involved. My son has always had male influences ie;my partner now, his uncles etc. he seems quite well adjusted. She should be fine aslong as you show her how to be a strong resourceful woman. My father wasnt around when i was younger and i think i was raised quite fine. Thanks to my mum. I met my father while i was pregnant with my 3rd child. Lets just say im glad my mum chose to stand up to him and get him to man up and take responsibility of to go away ( nicest word i could think of right then lol). Atay strong

Zarabeth - posted on 02/28/2011

Thank you. I was begining to think im the only one who is in this situation. The so and so rang me up as soon as he and the tart got back from Rome and made every excuse under the sun for what he said. He then turned up on my door step and saw her for a few days. Then he started demanding to have her for a whole weekend when his not had her for a full day before so I said no as she hasn't been well, now once again we hardly heard from him. I hope i've done the right thing by saying he can come to her but I am not chasing him. I always had a dad around even if he wasn't very good at least he was there I just always wanted better then what i had growing up for my children.
This may seam odd but is your son happy just having a mummy? As i've only ever known two people without there dad and ones now in jail for violence and the other is well and truly on there way to a pshyco ward. So i've always thought kids without both parents to turn out really bad. Is this just what I have to go on or is it true for most people without both parents? I'm really worried i'm just trying to do what right for my little girl.

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 02/23/2011

I experienced similar with my middle childs father. Ive decided not to bother with him anymore. If he cant even ring my son on xmas then my son dont need him. Stay strong. when shes older and asks atleast you can say you did everything in your power to involve him. Im here if you need to talk more.