help please!

Natasha - posted on 02/17/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my 4 month old son will not self settle. he's not even close! have tried leaving him and going back in to console him every 10-15 minutes. did that for 2 hours and then gave in because i assumed he was hungry. have also tried just leaving him. left him for an hour and finally couldn't take it anymore. He only goes to sleep while eating and is very difficult to transfer once he is asleep. Same trouble with naps. will sleep in arms but wakes up as soon as i put him down. Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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Katie - posted on 03/07/2011

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I think 4 months is still pretty young to expect a self-soother; but this is coming from a mom of a 9.5 month old who was a little colic first 3 months of life and still wakes sometimes 3 times a night. Still, I was disciplined to put him in the crib at least the first half of the night and then bring him in bed with me till morning; but it took probably at least 7.5 months before I could ever put him down without being completely asleep; before this he would definitely cry and I never used the CIO for more than 20 minutes at age 8 months. I highly suggest getting the MIRACLE blanket if your baby wants to feel snug and warm (in the womb) - a wonderful swaddle blanket you can find online - and also my son slept in his swing for the first part of his sleep and then I would transfer him quietly into his crib once he was totally out. White noise is a must (for most babies) - I use the sleep sheep ocean sound and put it on whenever I even enter the bedroom (he's with us), and after awhile the baby will start to get the routine down and probably even look forward to sleep. But seriously, 4 months is really young still and especially if you're still nursing, he probably just wants to be held and nurtured and might need more time to feel comfortable alone in a crib. But props to you for starting early! Routine is key if you can get one...And also follow his signs of sleepiness - as soon as he yawns, put him down (or rock to sleep) within 20 minutes so that he doesn't get "over tired" and has trouble falling asleep. Last tip - once asleep, keep him as close to your body as possible when laying down (the feeling of falling is startling to them) and I always keep my hand under his chest (he is a tummy sleeper) while softly humming a lullaby...do this or pat his bottom until settled. Good luck! :)

Crystal - posted on 02/27/2011

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Put on music in his room b4 u feed him, Then it should b easier 4 you 2 lay him down, Rite now im having the same problem, My daughter is 3months old an when i burp her she falls asleep rite the way wen she burps, I go to lay her down she wakes up an starts crying, But thats my falt bcuz wen i brung her home from the hospital i held her 24/7,

Cynthia - posted on 02/24/2011

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My daughter was the same way until around the 4 month mark. Does he like taking a pacifier or other soother? My daughter liked being swaddled waist down, so her arms were free to rub her head and face, suck her thumb, and that seemed to really help her. We also laid her on her side with a SIDS pillow so that she couldn't roll over and suffocate; she only liked that for a couple of weeks and then started to like sleeping on her back. We also used a swing until just several weeks ago; she wouldn't sleep anywhere else because of severe reflux, so she was semi-upright in her swing vs flat on her back in her crib. Some kids, in my opinion, are not as good at self soothing and need some extra help, and are extra sensitive, and don't respond well to being left alone to figure it out. My daughter is that way - we tried the cry it out method and it was a disaster. She responded much better and much more successfully to being consoled and nurtured and is now sleeping fairly well (except lately, with night waking and playing). I read The Happiest Baby on the Block, and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, and both of those books have good suggestions for sleep methods for babies who aren't good at self soothing. I feel for you - it's definitely hard! Good luck, and let us know what's helping/not helping.

Amanda - posted on 02/17/2011

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he is just a light sleeper do you keep your house really quite when he sleeps? if so that might be part of it, try swaddling him or and it he likes swings lay him in that for a nap just so you can get a break. there is a chance he will grow out of it some kids do and some dont, my niece is/was the same way. you can always see what his dr says sometimes they have good suggestions to help. its not easy when they dont sleep just try and hang in there till you can find a solution

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