Long term effects of CIO & going on vacation in the first year

Karima - posted on 09/23/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been reading Bonding by Klaus, Kennel and Klaus and I am having some concern about the long term effects of having let our daughter CIO last Thursday. Since then she has been sleeping through the night. Amazing. But I'll admit I've had some depression over the loss even though it is nice to be sleeping again. I think I broke a physiological bond between us (in part). In any case, I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with seeing a child *change* after CIO. Do you think this has had a long term effect on her trust that I will come when she needs me?

I am also thinking about going on a weekend trip for the first time in 11 months without Eve and I am concerned that she will think that I have left her permanently. I have heard of this happening. Does anyone have any experience with this?


Melissa - posted on 09/24/2010




I let my son CIO 2 months ago and have not seen any effects. Not that it has been very long. He still loves me, we still have a bond that he shares with no one else.

As for the weekend away; my husband and I just went away last weekend for the first time. Of course the 2 days before we left he developed an attachment to me and would cry and crawl after me all day long if I wasnt holding or near him. My mom came over and stayed with him while we were away and he was totally fine (I thought with the attachment thing it would be a disaster). He had a blast with Grandma, slept well, ate well the whole nine yards. When DH and I came home after the 2 nights away he was so happy to see us. He smiled at us, cuddled with us and stared at our faces with the sweetest expression I have ever seen. There was no resentment or hurt in his eyes. He was just glad we were back. Hope this helps. I am sure your daughter will be just fine =)

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms