New mom already at wit's end...

Rhianna - posted on 02/22/2011

Well, I'm certainly not an expert, but I do know how you feel. Personally, I wish I had sleep trained my son from day 1 and I think I will with my next baby. At about 3 weeks old my son would only go to sleep nursing, and would usually wake up every hr or so. Then at about 2 months old it got even worse and he wouldn't nap during the day (at all) and would only sleep for 30 min at a time before crying and I would go in and nurse him, he'd suck for a few seconds and fall back asleep. My pediatrician recommended nursing when he wakes up and then keep him up for some time during the day and lay him down sleepy, but awake. At night, my doc said to nurse him after 3-4 hrs and keep him awake while eating. My son is now almost 4 months old and sleeps well during the night and takes a few cat naps during the day. But, we are still working on nap time. I do think swaddling and white noise work when they are young. I recently stopped swaddling my son and it too a few night for him to get used to it, but he did. He also has a little "security blanket" he sleeps with and that seems to help some. I've done some research on babies and sleep and have read that lack of sleep leads to more lack of sleep (why yours is wired at 11pm), and restful sleep (in bed in a dark, quiet room) leads to restful sleep. Your little one should only be awake for about 45 min before needing a nap so try keeping an eye on clock and lay her down after she's been up for about 40 min and see what happens. If she cries give her 5 min, pick her up, soothe her, then lay her right back down again, and repeat until she's fallen asleep laying in her crib. It took my son about 2 weeks to really get it down. Good luck!

Jodie - posted on 02/16/2011

Like Cory said, we all have to find our own way. I agree with the white noise, for my son, it was a space heater at first, and when summer hit, it was a fan. To help YOU out however, you may try having a friend/family member come over for a night, or even just a few hours to take care of her for you. This way you can be rest without having to be away from the baby. You will want to make sure its someone you trust, or you will still be up with her everytime she cries. The calmer you are the calmer she will be. My son had colic when he was first born and I would litterally call my sister in tears because he would cry and cry and I wanted to sooth him, but nothing would work. She would come over for a few hours, take him, and I would go and sleep. Even the few hours helped! Just hang in there and things will get better! I promise!

Cory - posted on 02/16/2011

My son is 10 weeks old and I remember going through the same thing! Something that really helped me was getting my son on a bedtime routine. Ours consists of a bath (around 6 or 6:30 - I know when it's time because he starts to act tired and gets fussier) a massage with baby lotion, swaddling, feeding, burping, and a light bounce to sleep in my arms while I sing to him. I also try to put him down before he's totally asleep and let him put himself to sleep. This helps him fall back to sleep on his own if he wakes up in the middle of the night.

Another thing that has really worked for us is white noise - especially when they are very young. When my son is super fussy and nothing else works, we can always count on the blow drier to calm him down. I know it sounds crazy but we just turn the blow drier on and I stand near it while bouncing him with his tummy held close to me. It works even better when he is swaddled. All night he sleeps to white noise in the form of a wave app on my iPhone. I cannot emphasize enough how much swaddling works. My son fought it at first and cried more, but we just kept him swaddled and soon he just melted.

A book that really helped us was "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. It is focused around babies with colic (which my son had a touch of) but it also works for all babies. It centers around the idea that babies need a "fourth trimester" where they receive care that simulates being in the womb. That is why the white noise, swaddling, sucking, and bouncing work so well. I would really check it out if you haven't already. One thing that it mentions in the book is that the fussiness peaks at around 6 weeks but then starts to go away by 3 to 4 months so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. At 10 weeks my son is MUCH less fussy than the worst of it when he was 5 weeks!

All the contradictory information is VERY frustrating and we all have to find a system that works for each of us and our families. Personally, I am not a fan of CIO. I think there are many other ways to soothe a baby other than letting them cry their eyes out. This is especially important during the first 3 months of life when they are learning to trust and build secure attachments to others. Having their needs met CONSISTENTLY builds self esteem and promotes positive attachments to others for the rest of their lives. I'm not saying that it's horrible to let them cry for short periods of time when you have to do something (like go to the restroom!) but letting them cry it out for long periods of time is something I just can't bring myself to do. I guess I probably fall somewhere in the middle of attachment parenting and parent guided parenting but we all have to do what works for us. I'm still finding my way and you will find your way too!

Just know that it does get better - and it actually gets to be a lot of fun! :-) I hope some of the tips helped - hang in there!