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1 Year and still waking frequently

Andrea - posted on 08/10/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

So my baby slept perfectly through the night from 4 weeks until about 4 months old. Then, she abruptly stopped sleeping through the night and began waking every hour. It was a rough time. It got "better" over time, and she began waking about 3 times a night. Now it seems we're regressing again, and for the past while she's been waking a lot. More than 3 times a night.

She is breast fed, but now eats table foods and some baby food. She drinks water from a sippy cup. She is transitioning from two naps to one nap in the day. She wakes around 8am every morning, and is usually in bed between 7:30-8:30pm. She usually naps around 11am-1pm, or somewhere in and around those times. Sometimes she sleeps for 1 hour, sometimes 2. We have a solid, consistent bedtime routine, and I never put her in bed asleep. She is placed in her bed sleepy, but not asleep. I nurse her a bit before bed, but I don't let her fall asleep at the breast. She has a "lovey" that she has slept with forever, and is very attached to. She's pretty easy to get to sleep, but she wakes so much in the night. For a long time she'd wake a LOT, but we could pop her soother back in her mouth and she'd go back to sleep. These days, however, she wakes and is really awake and wants to nurse.

I'm not a great sleeper myself, and I don't expect that any baby is obligated to sleep through the night just because we want them to. I am not a believer in "crying it out" in any form, really. I do think there is some stock in the belief that babies have a lot of developmental things happening all the time, and that these new ideas/skills/processes developing in their brains can affect some babies and how they sleep. She could be teething, she could be having a growth spurt, experiencing separation anxiety or whatever.

I am always having an inner battle with myself. In the day, after I've had some caffeine, I think to myself "ok, tonight I'm going to be tough and not nurse her. She'll probably cry and it'll be a rough night, but I need to break this habit", but then the other part of my brain thinks that really she's still too young to just be manipulating me, that she really feels like she needs some comfort, and all of this will pass soon enough and I should just be there for her. And, at 3am, after my baby has woken up for the third or fourth time, it's hard to be "tough" when I know she'll go back to sleep if I nurse her for five minutes. But then I feel guilty because I think I'm forming all sorts of bad habits with her. AAAAHHH!!!

Anyways, this is a huge rant from a sleep-deprived mum! Anyone else out there experiencing this? I'm not the only crazy, half-asleep mum of a 1-year-old, am I? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Really, she's as sweet as can be in the day. A "perfect" baby other than the Mr. Hyde appearance at night.

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Corisande - posted on 10/11/2010

Hi Andrea,

Sorry to hear about your sleeping problems. I really feel for you, it makes me count my blessings. But you are not the only mom of which the children start to sleep less/lighter around 6 months. I am a wreck when I don't get my sleep and I realize that I am a far better mom when I get a decent night of sleep. And that probably goes for you too. And that is a dillema, I guess for you too.

Now because I don't tolerate caffeine I don't drink any. so maybe that is part of my luck, I don't miss my coffee at all. Just drink decaf (a good brand of decaf) and when not available (at work for instance, the decaf there is more like dishwater) I drink caffeine free tea. (south african rooibos).

Two things happen around 6 months that make babies sleep less and make them more attached to mummy:

- their brain undergoes a major change, for them it is like being on another planet and if you were to wake up on a different planet, wouldn't you eat less, sleep less and feel really happy to see a familiar face?? So that is way they long for mummy

- the second thing is that with this major brain change they suddenly realize that mummy can go away. And that is a major shock to them, so they cry. And every time you appear they make a link: if and when I cry, mummy will come back.

So yes they are way to small to manipulate you, you are absolutly right on that. But you are teaching them things, unconsiously. During daytime you can help them with this enxiaety by playing "peekaboo" with a small cloth but even from behind a door. And perhaps you can teach her to be comforted by something else then mummy. This does however require some sleep training, now she is used to mummy to be there... Check my community General information for advice on sleeping.

Amy - posted on 09/03/2010

I am in the same boat as you in a way. My son, who is 16 months now, still wakes up every 90 mins to 2 hours, 3 hours if im lucky. From 1 to 4 months, he slept for 6 hours, then every 2 hours, but as soon as he started teething, his sleeping all went down hill at 4 months. He started waking every 2-3 hours.

He wont take a binkie, the only thing that gets him back asleep is a bottle with at least 2 oz. of milk, or formula when he was younger. We moved homes when he was 13 months, he has his 'own' room, but refuses to sleep in his crib in his room. He'll only sleep on my bed. I love him to death, and I want him to feel comfortable, but I dont want to develop bad habits.

I would like to try the 'let em cry' method, however I live with my son's grandparents who dont want to listen to him cry like that. So, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I don't have any good advise, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I hope our children will break their habits soon. I've talked to a few friends of mine with kids and they all have said 'just one night they stopped waking up' I just pray yours and my day comes sooner rather than later, lol.