Coaching

Lisa - posted on 11/14/2008 ( 14 moms have responded )

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The dilema, to coach your own child or not. Postive/negative.

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Allison - posted on 08/10/2014

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Two of my girls are on their school's varsity volleyball team, and I coach that. I love it, because I just get to spend more time with them. It can be difficult, though, because I am an Emergency Med doctor and sometimes my schedule gets tough. My husband coached my eldest daughter's soccer team from age 4 to age 12.

Becky - posted on 07/12/2010

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My kids dad coaches them in their rec league but they have a different coach during all-star and travel play. I think there are negatives and positives in each situation but I feel like my boys are getting the best of both worlds. They do seem more receptive to the comments from the all-star/travel team coaches. I'm not really sure why.

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Both I and my husband have coached one of our three kids sports teams. I have coached my second son's soccer team for the last five years. I made it clear since day one to him that I'm his mom and his coach. On the field I'm the coach you do what I say. I treated him the same as the other players on the team. I did tell him a time or two I will sit you out even if you are my son. My husband has coached our daugther's softball team. He coached her team when she play t-ball and as a kid he played baseball which in a way is the same game. He also told her that he is her coach and if the other kids did batting so did she. However, when she made the transition from t-ball to softball, he had a time getting used to a all girl team. Parents respected us at both kid's games and pratices and know we would look after them like they was our own. So over all it's was a postive experience. When my oldest son decides to play basketball (which is a sport my husband mainly played from 8th grade to high school) he would like for his dad to coach

Gigi - posted on 04/13/2010

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unless the parent was a professional athlete or high level college athlete, or a professional coach, i would suggest finding someone more qualified.

Amanda - posted on 05/29/2009

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My kids are on a swim team, with professional coaches. I have never coached them, except to help them learn the strokes at the beginning. I want them to feel that their sport is their sport, not mine. They are developing strong relationships with their coaches and realize that it is up to them to perform well. I am afraid that if I coached them, they may decide to rebel against swimming when we have other problems going on. I have recently started coaching some of the younger groups on the team, but am avoiding working with their groups. I think it has been a great decision for us.

Mandy - posted on 04/17/2009

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I have coached my son (10) for 6 years and my dad coached me for 10 years. The positive is that I know he is learning the fundamentals of the game and I don't have to worry about someone else being to agressive at a young age. The negative is that I expect so much more from my son that sometimes we have little spats. He loves it because he has the only mom around that will and can coach boys baseball! My dad and I had so much fun just being able to be together most of the time.

Andrea - posted on 03/10/2009

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I just finished coaching my 11 year old's basketball team. It was a bit difficult in that she was a 5th grader on a 6th grade team so she had to sit on the bench some (which she is not used to). But, we ended up having a teriffic season. We both had a lot of fun and I know that I learned as much from the girls as they learned from me. (if not more). Just remember to stress having fun not the competition. There is plenty of time for cut throat competition when they get to high school or college, but little league should be all about the love of the game and learning sportsmanship. But most importantly HAVE FUN!!

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I have coached my own child in T-ball for 2 years.  I told him,  "while on the field, I am your coach, and you do as requested.  Off the field I am your Mother."  He was told that while I was coaching he was to call me "Coach" or "Coach Michelle" 



He had no problems with it.  He tried maybe once or twice to get "special treatment" (ei: getting extra turns, not having to participate, etc.) but I treated him like I treated every other player.



So our experience was a positive one.

Lalena - posted on 01/18/2009

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We have seven kids, five boys & two girls & they all play sports year round. My husband, who has been coaching them now for 13+ years, just wrote a great book about coaching & it's postives & negatives. You should really check it out. It's called The Discovering Greatness Playbook by David Johnston. I think it will really help you & anyone else with this dilema, or at least what to exspect from a good coach.

Theresa - posted on 01/07/2009

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I think assistant coach is better then head coach when your own child is involved.  If your child is very good and plays alot  the child doesn't get the credit they deserve.  People talk (gossip) and claim "they are only playing because their parent is the coach."  If you child is not that strong a player you want to play them anyway since you are putting so much of your  own time into, a perk to coaching. I also think (from experience) a parent is usually tougher on their own child.  If another child need a water brake because it is 100 degree's it is OK when your child need a drink.........suck it up, you can do it.........

Cheri - posted on 01/05/2009

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My husband is a high school basketball coach and has started coaching our boys basketball teams. They are in 3rd and 5th grade. My boys want my husband coaching because he knows what he is doing. The other kids seem to listen to him better because he is a "real" coach. My boys call him Dad on and off the court because that's who he is. They don't always want to hear what he has to say but that's when mom steps in to remind them that Dad does know what he's talking about and maybe they should try listening. And they do listen. I think all kids question what their coach is telling them, parent or not. I do have strong beliefs that if you are not the coach, you support the coach becuase it's not easy work. We remind our kids often to respect their teachers and their coaches and we teach that lesson best by being an example. My husband's policy with his high school team is, "if your parents think they can do a better job than me, they are more than welcome to get a coaching certificate and sit on the bench with me." If you feel you can do the best job for your kids, go for it! If you support someone else because they are doing a great job already, Great!

Stephanie - posted on 12/31/2008

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I have coached my daughter, and my husband coaches 2 of our three sons. For me it was a positive experience and my daughter enjoyed the time that we spent together at practice and competitions. My daughter still called me Mom at practice and no one seemed to have a problem with it... however she knew that when we were at practice it was all business and she was treated just like all of my other athletes! My other athletes and their parents really liked it because they said they felt as though I cared for their children as much as my own and they appreciated the fact that they were all treated equally and there was no favoritism!

Kim - posted on 11/14/2008

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I coach all three of my girls! I have coached them on seperate teams and now they are all on one soccer team. I have found that I am a little tougher on my own kids, but they really enjoy me coaching them!! I did ask them how they would feel about it first. All three were very excited about it. I have had parents help out also. This has helped me if my child needed to be talk to, they would listen to the other coach better then me. If you do coach just let them know the rules. My kids were not aloud to call me mom at practice or at the games I was known as coach or coach kim. This works great because then they knew I was not there for just them. I learned just as much from the kids as they did from me. Just make sure all the kids are haveing fun!! Remember not to put an emphasis on the winning but on the haveing fun, and all will be fine!! Good luck!!

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