3rd Pregnancy, 3rd trimester, and TERRIFIED to give birth this time... HELP!!!

Angela - posted on 05/22/2011 ( no moms have responded yet )

I'm 29 and in the 3rd trimester of my 3rd pregnancy. I've always had good health until this pregnancy. I've gained a TON of weight, I have had thyroid issues, I'm a gestational diabetic, and I'm in chronic pain this time around. I have always had all natural labor and deliveries and I even got to give birth to my youngest at home! This time however I have had a constant nagging voice telling me that I am going to end up in the hospital to birth this baby so I'm ending midwifery care and switching to 'traditional' medical care for the remainder of the pregnancy. I am also, unhappily, opting for a hospital birth instead of a home birth.

This baby is almost certainly going to be bigger than my youngest was, and he was a whopping 8lbs. I know 8 lbs isn't really that big, I just had a friend give birth to a 10 lb baby last month. The problem is that I had a very difficult time getting him out vaginally. I was in so much pain from the constant contractions that I really didn't have any energy left. His heart rate dropped considerably and he had a bowel movement in utero from stress, I am assuming from me being in so much pain.

On top of the contractions draining me because they were literally overlapping, there was absolutely no break between them from 7 1/2 cen. to 10 cen. , I also get HORRIBLE hemorrhoids from pushing. They literally look like a bunch of grapes ( I'm sorry for the graphicness... ) and they hang down below my cheeks... the pain is unbearable, I cannot sit, even with a cushion or doughnut pillow. I have to sleep with ice packs between my buttocks, and I usually end up on pain killers and using lidocaine ointment to help with the pain...for WEEKS after the babies are born. Bowel movements are a night mare, and dr.s simply say that they'll go away.

This time I'm seriously considering an elective c section with general anesthesia, but I'm scared to death of surgery and I can't touch any of the scars that I have currently without almost fainting. What the hell am I going to do? I mean this baby HAS to come out, one way or another... Please help me find a way to cope with these fears... Has anyone else ever been in my place?