18 month old and a newborn..anyone else?

Emily - posted on 04/06/2011 ( 24 moms have responded )

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just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat...or has any tips or advice..ive got a 18 month old baby girl and in a couple of weeks i'll have a baby boy. :)

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Louise - posted on 04/09/2011

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hello emily,my third and forth were 11 months apart and my 5th and 6th were 11 months apart.so different to your age gaps but routine is a deffinate must.Get up before the kids get up so you can get dressed and have a coffee in peace.As soon as little ones have fed dress them straight away,Then do your chores after that then i always do my ironing every evening when little ones are in bed.You have plenty of time to spend with your little girl after chores then.Apart from the new babys feeding and the nappy changes inbetween ,he/she will just sleep in the early weeks.You can have baby time when your little girls in bed.And your ironing,chores will still get done.good luck emilyx

Jenny - posted on 04/08/2011

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i disagree a bit with the whole have a routine. Mine are 18months apart (now 2y and 10months). With my first i had a great routine for him, but with my second i was very flexible, and thats what worked for me and kept me sane. I stopped watching the clock and just watched my newborn for signs of hunger and tiredness and i found that i did not stress with her nearly as much as i did with my oldest.

And yes the first 6 months are the hardest, but you will get through them, especially if you have help it will make it easier.

You do whatever you need to do to make you feel less stressed, this might mean you need to stick to a strict routine, or it might mean that you need to throw that out of the window and take things as they come, only you will know what will help you when the time comes.

Biggest advice i can give you is focus any energy you have on your first one now and get her to sleep well all through the night, and to learn how to play by herself. And work on her words as this is what will cause most of her temper tantrums leading upto the terrible twos. Get her to say words before you give her what she wants, she will catch onto this quick in a couple days and it will be a blessing to understand her better so that you can attend quick to her needs with a newborn in tow instead of having her cry her head off for half an hour.

Dont worry she will adjust to the change just fine, better than what you fear.

Jennifer - posted on 04/06/2011

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My first two were 15 months apart. Like the others said, routine is a must. It will help your older one have less meltdowns, if she can expect things a certain times. Just make sure it is a loose routine, meaning if lunch is 1/2 late/early every so often, she won't be bothered too much by it. Also, never refuse help. The first 6 months are the hardest, and you are going to need help. You aren't super woman (even if your daughter says so lol). Keep up with dishes and laundry. Often people say that, that stuff doesn't really matter, but honestly, if you don't keep up with them, then you are forced to work that much longer when you do decide to do them, because they just keep piling up. Lastly, soak up every second you can with both of them. The time will fly bye, and one day you will miss all the chaos.

Dominique - posted on 04/10/2011

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Yes I am in the same boat well I was ten weeks ago with a newborn and a 16 mointh old. The only advise I can give is don't try and over do it. They will take a little time to get used to one another and until then when the baby sleeps make sure you have some time to have with your toddler or otherwise they will not only resent the baby but you aswell since you have now put them aside with no time to play with them.

I have a eleven year old a sixteen month old and a ten week old.

You have to be able to take things as they come.

Jodie - posted on 04/08/2011

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I have 5 kids under the age of 4. I have 2 sets of twins that are 16 months apart. Well I had. they are now 11, 9,9,7,7, my advice to you is to make you have rules in place and that they are loved. Have you little girl talk to your belly and say hi to her little brother, that will hopefully create a bond. The other big thing I did was, whenever anyone came to visit I made sure they acknowledged my oldest first and even wanted presents for him since the babies didn't know the difference (it makes them feel special) Good Luck and don't sweat the small stuff or remember it could be worse....

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Jamie - posted on 04/09/2011

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I had a ll mth then had twin boys and now I have a ten mth old and eight mth pregnant it stressful at times but it all has not been so bad there are bad days but more good days then bad just don't stress over everything and someone offer help take it.

Julie - posted on 04/09/2011

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I have a 14 month old girl and a 6 week old boy, and it is challenging. But we are coping. I shower with Josephine while Sams asleep, and feed Sam while Josie is asleep, and give her snack packs or special toys to play with when Im feeding otherwise. I have an electronic swing which I use constantly and I give him no nappy time when she is in the bath with Nana supervising while I cook tea.

Vicki - posted on 04/08/2011

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being orgernised is a majour key , get in lot's of easy activity's for her to do while you are busy with the baby like ,colouring ,play dough , building block's,movie's for her to watch etc anything that she can do while you are busy with the baby , also i would plan trips to the park so she has her playtime to ,it's hard work but keeping a good routine will make it easyer , i found this worked when my son was 16 months when my daughter was born xx

Jamie - posted on 04/08/2011

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i have a 20 month old son a 2 month old daughter. i know what u mean. its a little tough at first but once you get the both on just about the same schedule, its a little bit easier.

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2011

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Routine v important! Also have a few safe areas where u can put your newborn so the older one can't 'cuddle' him too over-enthusiastically! I have a travel cot in the kitchen with a swingy chair in it as I have an 18 month old and a 10 week old! The first 8 weeks were v tough but it's settling down now, good luck! It's lovely watching the older one looking after the younger one altho there are some jealousy issues so make sure you involve the older one as much as possible with jobs like nappy changing etc. When you're focussing on the newborn.

Jessica - posted on 04/07/2011

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awww thats alot of running,i have a 4 year old and a 6 mounth old and thats all i do

Nomsa - posted on 04/07/2011

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Hi, we are in the same boat, my son will be 18 months in June and yes am having another boy. My sister is coming here from Africa to help me for 6 months. i have a cleaning lady who cleans and do ironing for me. If you can get help, get it, so that you can still feel sure and not stress about anything.

Deepti - posted on 04/07/2011

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eat healthy food, arrange for support and assistance from family and outside, make things available that u will be needing post delivery, kindly do some deep breathing and meditation that will be gud for both of you... all the best

Deepti - posted on 04/07/2011

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eat healthy food, arrange for support and assistance from family and outside, make things available that u will be needing post delivery, kindly do some deep breathing and meditation that will be gud for both of you... all the best

Michelle - posted on 04/06/2011

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My oldest was 16 months when my second was born and my second was 21 months when the third was born. Keep a flexible routine, get out some, if you do nothing else do the dishes and laundry. My two oldest love to play together so when the new little one is old enough that's nice. Get a double stroller if you plan on going places. Mine has gotten lots of use and I couldn't have made it without one. If you plan to breastfeed fence off a room where the older one can safely run around and play while you do it. Enjoy they grow up fast.

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I have a 4 month old and a 20 month old. My 20 month old had down syndrome and is just learning to walk. I assume your 18 month old does walk so you will not have two kids in arms. I think that at the beginning, when your newborn is sleeping you may want to carve some playtime for the toddler so he does not feel totally displaced. Newborns sleep a lot so try spending time with the toddler and meeting those needs first and get lots of rest for yourself.

Bonnie - posted on 04/06/2011

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My boys are 21 months apart. They are now 2.5 and 4.5. It is great to have them close in age.

My advice for you is to definitely have some sort of routine so there is a flow to your day. Don't be afraid to agree to help or to even ask for it. Get your daughter to help with the baby once he is here (get diapers and wipes for you, etc.) Good luck!

Sharon - posted on 04/06/2011

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The only advice I can give is have a routine. Make time for both the kids together and separately, so they don't feel "left out". One thing I did with my kids is to involve the older one with simple jobs they could do to help with the new baby. My kids are now 3, 5 and 6. Good luck.

Lucy - posted on 04/06/2011

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My kids are 16 months apart, although they are older than yours now (3 and 4), so I have been in your shoes!

I agree with Ashleigh that routine can be a life saver. Just make sure your little one is in a comfortable routine before bub arrives, and try and stick to it as much as possible to give your daughter a sense of stability in a time of big changes. It will also help you to get stuff done!

Never refuse an offer of help- You need time with both your little ones to help them bond, so if you have friends or family who offer to pick up groceries, clean etc, LET THEM.

Remember you have two arms! This may sound daft, but it is worth consciously remembering that you can hold both children for breast feeding, read a story and burp a baby at the same time etc, Your daughter is still a baby x

Most of all, enjoy! I love the age gap between mine, and wouldn't change it for anything. They are the best of friends, and both fantastic for their ages at sharing, co-operating, imaginary play etc, because they always have a playmate.

Best of luck x

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 04/06/2011

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Hi emily, congrats on the pregnancy and hope all goes well with the birth!

I have 3 under 5. A 4yo,2yo and a 14month old.

My advice is have a routine, makes life less stressful

And enjoy having your kids close in age. Watching them grow,learn and play together.

Im here if you ever needa chat!

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