2 year old is too attached!

Debra - posted on 05/01/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 2 year old daughter & 11 month old son. My daughter doesn't want me out of her sight. I can't go anywhere without her & if I do then she cries & screams for me until I get home.
My problem is that I want to start going to church. Before I got married, I went every Sunday. My husband & I would go together alot but have been so busy & tired with 2 little ones that we've missed it alot. I'm wondering how can I go with how attached my daughter is to me? If I just go alone & leave her @ home with my husband then she'll have temper tantrums until I get home. If I take her to church & drop her off in the nursery, she'll act the same. I can't take her in church with me because she won't be quiet or sit still. Any ideas?

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Jennifer - posted on 05/02/2011

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We had a similar issue with our daughter. She HATED when I had to leave her at home with Daddy. He's a great guy, just not who she wanted to be with. A lot of the time I just took her with me. After a while, I decided she really needed to be able to separate. We started out with me going to the store alone for short bursts. She hated being left behind and cried the whole time. Then one day, I told her she was going to have a "Daddy Day". She was none too happy, but in the end, the two of them found a connection - it was as simple as tea and cookies. She is 3 1/2 now and the two of them have their ritual. She even looks forward to "Daddy Days".
As for church, they deal with this sort of thing all the time. Ours even has pagers in case they need you during the service. We used one for a while, but they never had to call. I did have to help her adjust to Sunday School for a while, but that was for different reasons. 9 times out of 10, children will calm down and enjoy their stay in the nursery. Having worked with preschoolers, I can they do calm down. She will be OK. It also helps to be "matter of fact" when you drop her off and assure her you will return. She will sense any anxiety and feed off it. If Mom's calm and confident in her caregivers, then she can feel reassured. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 05/02/2011

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I have 3 kids 3 and under. My middle one is attached to me like that too. First of all take the kids to church. I take mine every week. They don't always behave but they are learning. It helps to bring snacks and something to keep them busy. Secondly I know my daughter usually gets over it after about 10 minutes when I do leave her. It's hard but it does work.

Marylea - posted on 05/02/2011

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Church is a place that children should always be welcome. Don't make anymore excuses and just go to church. Bring your daughter, if she's a little noisy or wiggles during the service oh well, Jesus said "let the little children come to me" My daughter is the same way, she's two as well and very clingy. I bring her books and toys and snacks to keep her busy during church and if she starts to act up I sit with her in the nursery, at my church you can hear the pastor speaking through a speaker when you're in there, I know that alot of churches have that.

Colleen - posted on 05/01/2011

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I say take her to church. The nursery workers are good at dealing with the kids and the more time that the 2 of you get apart will make it easier for her to get over the attachment. She will probably make friends that she will want to see every week. You can't deny yourself a life away from the kids, it is important to have that time.

Lisa - posted on 05/01/2011

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Find a kid friendly church. We go to a small church and no one minds when the babies/toddlers have melt downs, yell out during church, or randomly start wandering down the aisle.
Secondly, once in awhile leave her home with hubby, she'll stop screaming. My 2 1/2 year old is so clingy on me that he wakes up at 2 am to come upstairs and check on me. If I leave him with a family member, he'll throw a fit and carry on but the longest it has lastest has been 30 minutes. And for those who say, "Never sneak out of the house" whatever. If I need to run to the store, etc., I will leave the house so he doesn't see me go and then he doesn't miss me.

It'll pass and she'll get easier and you'll miss the days she loved you overly much!! :)

Raychel - posted on 05/01/2011

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With the church thing have you thought about taking her with you and maybe staying with her in the nursery for a while and then when she is playing maybe sneak out? My son is 20 months old and we take him to church and he sits/plays through service with us and doesnt go to the nursery at all. Sometimes we have to take him out but most of the times he will play or snack on some food and even sing with us.

OhJessie - posted on 05/01/2011

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They don't call them the "terrible twos" for nothing. This too shall pass. At 3 suddenly you get an angel who brings you flowers (or inmy case,stems; same thing.) My kids went through six-month cycles - good and bad. Give it a little time, hon.



There's no such thing as "too attached". If they're attached, GOOD.

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