7 YR OLD STEPSON MOLESTING MY 8 YR OLD SON! WHAT TO DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Catherine - posted on 08/27/2017 ( 5 moms have responded )

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WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO WHEN SHE STAYS AT HOME WITH THE KIDS SO HER HUSBAND CAN WORK HIS BUTT OFF FOR THE FAMILY (HIS CHOICE) AND HIS 7 YR OLD SON (HE HAD WITH ANOTHER GIRL) ADMITS TO A FRIEND OF MINE, WHO THEY JUST MET EACHOTHER A FEW WEEKS AGO, (WHILE I WAS OUT OF TOWN) THAT HE IS (WAS) BEING MOLESTED BY A GREAT FRIEND OF THE FAMILY THAT HE CALLS GRANDPA (HE HAS BEEN IN HIS LIFE FROM THE BEGINNING) AND THEN ADMITS TO MY HUSBAND, AFTER WE CONFRONTED HIM ABOUT THE ISSUE (SON NOT FRIEND) THAT HE HAS BEEN DOING THE SAME THINGS TO HIS BROTHER WHO IS A YEAR OLDER (MINE AND MY HUSBANDS SON). HE SAYS HE CAN'T REMEMBER HOW LONG ITS BEEN GOING ON BUT THAT HE HAS DONE IT AT LEAST 12 TIMES. HAD MY HUSBAND TAKE HIM TO THE POLICE STATION TO HAVE THIS PROBLEM TAKEN CARE OF AND THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT CALL CPS AND THE SOCIAL WORKER SAYS (WELL I WILL BE IN TOUCH WITH YOU AS SOON AS I CAN SET UP A MEETING AT THIS COMPANY THAT SPECIALIZES IN THIS KIND OF ISSUE WITH CHILDREN. THEY ARE LEAVING A VICTIM IN THE SAME HOME AS (FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD) HIS ASSAILANT. THAT IS NOT RIGHT AT ALL. MY 8 YR OLD IS TRAUMATIZED AT THE WHOLE PROBLEM. HE WAS CRYING HYSTERICALLY AND SAYING HIS STOMACH HURT AND THEN STARTED HYPERVENTILATING AT THE THOUGHT OF GETTING IN THE SAME CAR AS HIS 7 YR OLD BROTHER.WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO BECAUSE I REFUSE TO LET THIS HAPPEN TO MY SON (SINCE IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WAS 4) AND I SWORE I WOULD NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO ANY OF MY KIDS. I CANNOT HAVE THIS FILTHY CHILD LIVING IN MY HOUSE AND DO THAT TO MY SON, HIS BIG BROTHER. THOUGHTS OR ADVICE WILL BE CONSIDERED AND APPRECIATED GREATLY!!!!! SORRY THIS IS LONG AND WINDED. I AM VERY UPSET AND IT IS ALL COMING OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR TIME AND SUGGESTIONS.

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Dove - posted on 08/29/2017

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Separating the boys while this gets dealt w/ is perfectly logical and I know you are upset at your son being abused, but this other little boy is NOT a filthy child. Acting out like this was his way of crying out for help because his family (including you) has failed to protect him. BOTH boys are victims and BOTH boys deserve equal help, love, and support.

If you and your husband have an 8 year old son together AND he has a 7 year old son from a different woman... it sounds like there are a lot of issues needed to be worked out in your family other than just the horrendous abuse to both little boys. Seek therapy for all of you asap.

Sarah - posted on 08/29/2017

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First of all your stepson is not a filthy child, he is a victim. Most assailants were victim first. Your 7 yo now says he is terrified of living with his brother, has he not said anything to you prior to this? Has he been acting out at all?
If you live in the US, either the police did not call CPS or you are not telling the whole story. By law, CPS must contact and personally investigate every case reported within 24 hours. There is no way a case on sexual assault would be turfed to a outside company. No way. You'd have been obligated to either temporarily live separate from your husband each of you taking one of the kids, send one of the kids to live with family, or lose both to emergency placement. I live in the Chicago area where DCFS/CPS is stretched to its limit and I have never seen a case of suspected abuse ignored.
Taking a 7yo to the police station to report a sex crime against "grandpa" should have resulted in an investigation, mandatory examinations of both children by a physician to collect potential evidence and a detective being assigned to the case. There is no statute of limitation in sex crimes against a minor. So you'd expect "grandpa" to be arrested, the case investigated and potentially a conviction.
As far as your children; they should not be criminally prosecuted, they are both victims and both need lots of therapy and support. However, they probably should not be living together for a long time.

Michelle - posted on 08/27/2017

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Of course you don't have both children in the same house. Either you move out with your son or your husband moves out with his. Separate the children.
Charges also need to pressed against "Grandpa".
That's really all I understood from your post.

Please don't post in all caps as it looks like you are shouting.

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Jessica - posted on 08/28/2017

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Counciling for your son and then family counciling too the boy is 7 he needs help and seperating him from your son until the issue can be resolved might be the best idea I only hope both of the boys can get help to get through this...and Grandpa needs prison

Catherine - posted on 08/27/2017

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Thank you for your advice!!! Sorry about all caps, I am just so frustrated and really felt like screaming this whole time!!! I told him that we should do the same thing (seperate the boys until they or his can get the help they/he needs) and he said that he understands completely and as soon as we get back to Ohio (In KY right now where he is working so we can all be together) both issues will be taken care of because we have more people back at home that we can get to help us separating them and getting the issue with the "grandpa" (friend of mine from scool) charged and out of satan's child's life!!!! I know I was all over the place. Like I said, I am very upset and cannot think straight!

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