A few issues on my part......

Sarh - posted on 12/15/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I'm not sure what is going on with me! When I was pregnant w/my now 6 month old son I was working a physical job and cooking and cleaning at home. I also have an almost 5yo daughter. When my son was first born I wanted to clean and cook and do laundry. I'm breastfeeding and I could go the entire day w/out feeding myself. I always remember to feed my daughter and feed my son, but I never eat. My hubby has to yell at me to eat dinner. I have no clue how he is still gaining weight, how I'm producing enough milk, his iron is great (was just at his check up today). I don't know why this is and even though he is doing good, I still fear that I am depriving him of what he needs and deserves! I've never been a breakfast eater and for as long as I can remember I have only eaten dinner and grazed through out the day, which I do when we have snacky foods.
I'm sure these poor eating habits play a huge roll in this next issue!!! Which goes back to the cleaning. I WANT to clean, do dishes, do laundry (crazy enough, I LOVE doing laundry!) and cook meals (not just dinner and quick foods for lunch & breakfast). I have a hard time falling asleep at night not because of my son, he sleeps 9-12hrs a night!, but because I lay there and I want to get up and do all of this stuff (but for some reason I don't want to and don't during the day!), however, I don't want to wake the children or hubby. So, I just lay there and lay out my day in my head of when I'm doing what and in what order, etc. But..... you guessed it!!! I don't do any of it!!! I sit on the stupid couch or nap w/baby all day until it is time to get my daughter from the bus stop!!!
I WANT && NEED to do all of these things! My hubby doesn't do anything. I was working out when my son was about 2months old, I feel like I felt better then and did more.
Any ideas of how I can get my butt in gear?! I plan to start working out again on Monday, but I've been saying that for about a month or longer now. I do have A.S. & Fybromyalgia, but when I'm working I have NO problem doing these house hold "chores". It drives me crazy that my house is not spot less!!! Am I lacking a vitamin? Please don't tell me it's post partum depression or something like that. Shouldn't it be the opposite?
I apologize for this being sooo long!

Thank you all in advanced!!!

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Oh, one more note about snack foods. I notice that when I eat a lot of carbohydrates, like bread, pastas, potatoes, and processed foods, I have a lot of energy, but no motivation to use it--like I'll be sitting there on my sofa running a hundred things that I need to do through my head, but just sitting there because I either don't know where to start and am afraid I'll forget something important, or I just don't feel like it....so I stick to fruits, veggies and proteins. Another of my favorite fridge snacks is a slice of ham or turkey rolled with a piece of cheese and stuck with a toothpick. I make several in the morning and just put them in a container in the fridge to much during the day....I think it's okay to snack all day, as long as it's healthy stuff :)

[deleted account]

Sarh, I was just like that after my little one was born. In fact, I was reading your post thinking "I think I posted this at one point..."

I have anorexia, so on top of not remembering to eat, and not being motivated enough to put something healthy together, I feel guilty when I eat, and I know I'll feel guilty, so I put off eating. Other than that, I'm just like you--I prefer to graze all day and sit down for my only real meal at dinner time.
I put a bowl of berries, melon, and sliced fruit in my fridge--all washed and ready to eat--so throughout the day, I just go much out of the fruit bowl. It is healthy and good for my baby. A couple of days a week, I swap the fruit for veggies and dip. The dip is fattening, but it gives me the nutrients from the veggies.
For meals, I plan 5 meals before going to the grocery. It doesn't matter what night I cook what, but I have a list of 5 things I can pick from and I don't feel so overwhelmed trying to throw something together at the last minute.

For motivation to do the house work, I have a few little tricks.
The first is to turn the TV OFF. I have ADD and if it is on, I don't care if it is the worst show on Earth, I will sit down, I will be glued to it :p Instead, I play music or enjoy the silence :)

The second is my cleaning timer. I have a little kitchen timer that I set for 15 minutes in each room. During that 15 minutes, I clean as much as I can in that one room--you will be amazed what you can clean in 15 minutes! For some reason, when I look at a messy room, it is overwhelming and I put it off, but if I know I only have to work at it for 15 minutes, I can handle it. If I don't get everything done, then I can finish it tomorrow, but little by little the room will get cleaner and cleaner until you get to a point where it is difficult to fill the entire 15 minutes with cleaning. I do my bedroom, kitchen, dining room (it is a catch-all spot), living room, and one bathroom every day(I have 2 bathrooms so I alternate them).Then I alternate the laundry room and foyer, so I can have all of my cleaning done in an hour and a half, and I can stop after any room for a break.
If the baby cries while you are in the middle of your 15 cleaning, hit the pause and resume once you've quieted him.

The third is my list of extras. I write a list of all the extra stuff I need to do for the day--like library, go through closets, target trip, grocery store, etc. I have a notepad that has the days across the top with list space under each day. It's not a calendar, just a notepad. I try to spread errands out so I'm not overwhelmed on one day, but I group related errands together on the same day--just mess with it and you'll come up with a system that works for you. I like having the list b/c I am reminded of what I need to do during the day, instead of thinking about it at night when I can't do it. Also, I can see the whole week, so if something gets canceled and I end up with extra time, I can do something from later in the week. Also, it gives me a boost to cross stuff off of lists. I keep the list of rooms on a dry erase board and cross them off as I finish, and I keep my extras list on the fridge and cross it off as I finish. It really does help me stay motivated.

Hope this helps some....It does get better once you have a system in place.

Lydia - posted on 12/15/2010

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self discipline. it is easier to get things done when you have a given structure like a job... i sometimes am the same way, but i find if i make appointments to go out with the baby i am also more active at home. to be home all day long kind of leaves you in this undefined space of endless time and you can always do things later...
maybe it will help if you get in the groove with your baby's schedule. eat when he eats, sleep when he sleeps, play when he plays, clean when he cleans ;-)
to go out to get some fresh air also boosts my motivation. even in winter. as soon as the worst storm is over i try to get up and go out. it's so worth it even though just to get the baby dressed in this weather is a whole story for itself.

Erin - posted on 12/15/2010

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Okay, so for the first issue of not eating and breastfeeding...the whole idea of breastfeeding is to take the minerals and vitamins and nutrients out of our bodies and convert it to a substance that is suitable for an infant. When you aren't taking in any calories or nutritious foods your body will start taking it from your body's stores, just like pregnancy. But there is a point where your body's stores will run out. If you're not taking in anything your body's ability to heal will go down and seeing as you have a disease, that's not good. You won't necessarily be hurting baby, he'll be starting on solids soon, if not already. But he needs calories to grow, you may notice him starting to platau in weight and growth. If breastfeeding alone can cause you to burn 500 calories a day, just think of how many calories are in one feeding for them. I'm just curious how much you weigh?
For the next part it sounds like you've got your days and nights turned around. You say your husband gets you to eat some at night. If that's the only time you eat then that's the only time you get energy. So.. yeah it makes sense that you're awake more at night than during the day.
I don't know if it's a PPD thing, I had PPD, and as far as cleaning went, I would go on these week long cleaning spurts and then shortly after hit bottom, then have to change meds again. I'm not sure about working out until you've got your diet under controll, then it'll be just like feeding your son water. You should pump out some breast milk and let it rest for an hour or so or even a day in the fridge, then see when it separates how much of a layer of fat you have on top. That's another way to see if he's getting anything out of it. If his growth is really slow you may have to start supplementing with formula so he gets the calories he needs. Or just start eating ;) Sorry mine's so long too. If anything though, talk with your puplic health nurse honestly and she can let you know what's best.
Good luck!

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Sarh - posted on 12/16/2010

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Thanks Kelly! I really do need to turn the tv off! We use it as back ground noise most of the time, but when it comes to cleaning I often find myself also watching the worst show on earth!!! haha. I am such a procrastinator!
I have tried taking a grocery list for the things I would need for 7 meals and its like I have some sort of disorder and am like "I need.... oh look pretty colors!" lol. I never seem to stick to my list, but I am continuing to try rather then just going up and down every isle!
The timer is a great idea. Reminds me of when I was younger and had to do something, but I would put it off for any reason under the sun. My mom would set a timer and if I wasn't done when the timer went off then I got something taken away or I was grounded or something to that sort. My other issue w/cleaning is I can't just leave 1/2ways through cleaning. It has to be immaculate or I just don't want to do it at all. My mom and I are kind of perfectionist. She does like remodeling and interior work on peoples homes. If there is one thing that she has to call in another person for she can't go onto the step until that is done and I am the same way! I've learned to work fast and be very good and detailed at my job. When I was working I'd be given a task, I'd do it much faster then the majority of everyone else and it would be as good if not better then someone who would have taken twice as long! But, I have a chronic pain "disorder" (Fybromyalgia) and Ankylosing Spondylitis which is chronic inflammation of my joints which is also chronic pain. My back is the worse and after picking up 5 things or even washing about 5 dishes it is soooo stiff I can barely straighten back up to standing.
I am also a big list making person! I always have been, my mom is as well, and my soon to be 5yr old daughter is also making lists. When we are going somewhere she likes to have a piece of paper and a pen and she will ask me how to spell whatever place we are going to.
I have a big desk calendar that I have to have other wise I forget every appointment and event! I have no clue why. My mom also has a calender that she writes everything down in, maybe I got this from her.... She has OCD and I swear I must as well. We also have some other "mental" issues, but we manage to work through... well normally. ahah.
The snacks are a great idea!!! I know I need to start eating a larger variety or fruits... I mainly eat strawberries! With the veggies I have been wanting to make fresh veggies with dinner, but neither my fiancee or my daughter will eat peas, I made corn and then my fiancee tells me he ONLY likes corn on the cob! My daughter ate it though. He is picky when it comes to eating fruits and veggies as a side dish, but he will eat any and everything else! What the....? Oh, sorry.... he wont eat soup other then Clam Chowder (disgusting!), he doesn't like pot roast because it tastes weird when everything is cooked together, and he refuses to eat steak. He is sooo weird and sometimes I think he does crazy crap on purpose to piss me off.

Well thanks again! Sorry for the rambling! lol.

Sarh - posted on 12/16/2010

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Alycia, Oh yes! I hear ya! I do get extremely overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done, but once I finally "snap" and just do it, I speed through it with no problem (other then the pain from my 2 "diseases").
Lydia, that is how I am. When we have appointments I normally clean before we leave and/or when we get home. Other wise yes, just like you said it is easy to just tell myself that I can do it later.
Fresh air really does help, I was taking walks w/baby after he was born and then it began to get real hot and he was breaking out in heat rash so I avoided going out into the heat... then it got cold. I live in WI and one day it can be 80degrees and the next it can be only 50! It is craziness, but now it is just plain freezing cold out. When we were taking walks is when I was "working out/exercising" and keeping the house cleaner/more organized.
I am becoming a PartyLite consultant as of 1/12 so hopefully that will help w/everything. I am goign to start tomorrow by getting on a better schedule even though it is 2a here and I'm not in bed yet, I will be up at 6a and from there I am going to be busy and on the go. I get myself back on a schedule of being in bed at about midnight and then my fiancee will work 2 nights until about 2a and we wont get to bed until 3a or just stay up till I have to get my daughter off to school... that is where I really mess up! I'm such a lucky mother that my bubby sleeps through the night at 6 months and I'm not taking advantage of it.
Thanks! :)

Alycia - posted on 12/15/2010

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I'd like to throw in that a lot of the not getting up may be a motivation issue. Sometimes it's just hard to get up and do it when you feel so far behind and overwhelmed. I'm sorry you're going through this and hoping it changes for you soon.

Sarh - posted on 12/15/2010

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Erin, thank you! Even when I do eat during the day, mainly just days he is off of work, I still don't feel like doing anything. When I do get a spurt to clean or whatever it is because him and I had an argument and yea... I forgot to mention I was diagnosed as being manic depressive, depression w/mood swings, and being bipolar... that was after I had my daughter. I was on numerous different meds which were upped to the max dosage they would give me. And they switched them so often. I haven't been on them since my daughter was 2 1/2yr old and she will be 5 nxt month. But, that has not affected me other then the mood swings, but I always find something to blame those on. haha. I'm not sure how much I weigh, but at my 6 wk appointment I was 190lbs, I'm 5'7". So, I guess my body has more then enough storage of nutrition or what not. haha.
Right now I have been up for 26hrs straight just because I never went to bed last night. Well, I laid in bed for about 1.5-2hrs. Some nights I go to sleep at 11p and others I don't go to bed till 3a or there are few nights like last night.
I pumped for Black Friday, went shopping and there was a lot of fat that separated. He is on solids, has been since a month old because of some issues. I pump for his cereal and it separates, but I have not done so since I pumped so much for Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving). I am trying to increase him to solids twice a day and then to three times a day per his pediatrician. His pediatrician didn't say anything about his weight gain, I'm guessing because he didn't look weight and he is still in the 90th percentile for weight...
I'm definitely going to start eating 3 meals a day as I have to get him on a 3 meals of solid schedule a day as well. Thanks for your input.

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