ADHD kid. . . . .needing advice and help!!!!

Katie - posted on 12/28/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )

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My oldest Jeremiah was diagnosed with ADHD this summer. He has been on medication since Sept. and things have gotten better as in concentration with school, but not the behavior. It's unbelievebly out of control. i don't know what else to do. I have taken things away, I was spanking, but that didn't phase him. I use tobasco for naughty and sassy mouth. I even take video games, tv, and even movies. Nothing seems to click with him about how serious I am. Please someone help or share some of your stories. I am going insane this week with winter break!!!

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Sofia - posted on 01/05/2011

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as someone who has lived with ADHD for a while (now i am a parent myself) i want you to know that he wants to do the right thing, but the ADHD makes it hard. he most likely knows your serious, but had so much energy in him that he cant concentrate on what you are saying. there are good advices here, just keep up the patience and have a talk with him, ask him how he feels having this and what he doesn't like about it. then let him know that you are in this with him, its a battle you both will face together. it will make him feel like you have his best intreats in mind rather than just being mad at him for misbehaving. creating a bond that he knows he needs to listen to you to feel better otherwise its him that will suffer more. im sorry its causing so much difficulty for you. good luck with him.

Nicole - posted on 01/12/2011

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for my kids taking some things away does work and sometimes not but i have also learned with my kids that stuff like starwars or yu gi o or wrestling they love but try to re enact it and are very violent in playing with each other when doing so so i dont let them watch thinks like that and we dont have a wii but do a playstation2 but also we only have a few games but ones that arent violent and they love to play that but i only let them as a reward jajaj its been over a month since they had played and just yesterday i let them play just 10 minutes each and then they went outside to play now with sneaking around i dont have that problem personally the kids know they arent supposed to touch my laptop and most times i keep it in my room but when i do have it in living room or kitchen they know not to touch it and they know they cant go in my room without my permission and they respect that but i did used to have a problem with them sneaking food or snacks and asked dr and at time therapist about it and they recomended just locking them up pr putting them where cant be accessed by them im like what why should i have to lock up food from my children but it wasnt like i wasnt feeding them buti had a spot for snacks that i had to send daily with my prekindergardener at the time and thats where they were getting the snacks from at tiems i wouldnt notice or i would find wrappers in the bathroom trashcan but when i really found out was one time when i went to clean their room and moved their bed away from the wall to do the sheets correctly JACKPOT wrappers everywhere candy chips etc. but when asked who was doing it because all 4 boys in same room of course no one owned up to it so i talked with them and later when i cleaned again still so i decided after school was out no more snacks and havent had to buy no more and the problem has quit for a lil bit i had problems with the kids getting in fridge to get what they want but i made it clear they cant get nothing from the fridge without permission and when they do ask i usually get it to them myself so only adults are in the fridge no more problem so for me its out of sight no problem for me and so far so good and alot times when i teel people my kids dont eat sugary things and junk food i feel im depriving them of those things but not of food but i also think that i know and found out what works best for me and my children and their health and so far so good and stick to my grounds on not giving them things like that and when they do misbehave not always but depending on what it is the offense be it disrespecting me or attitude since we and they have hispanic background and eat similiar to them even though they dont like it well most of them i first give them a warning and say if u do it again i will give u a hot pepper (jalepeno) it doesnt hurt them but they dont like it and most times i odnt have to give it to them but it only took once or twice giving it to them that they learned also i use it when they are eating they have a bad habit doing more talking and goofing and sometimefighting while eating so we have a rule no talking while eating at dinner table, i hear them talking i say im sorry whats the rule they answer no talking while eating at dinner table. well i have them little smart buts come back well its not dinner its luch or breakfast whatever toime of the day they were eating so i told them whenever at the table eating whether it be at bfast lunch or dinner whether we be at home a restraunt ahahah rare occassion for us or a friends house also rare ocasion for us that the rule applies anywhere they are at and eating .So after warning if they get caught again the get pepper a bite and they ususlly quiet and also have problem with them tsking forever to eat same applies they dont hurry up and eat in a reasonable amount of time they get a bite of pepper they dont like it cry do the drama thing but for the one i have the problem with it seems to work quite well because we have told then once they have the pepper in they mouth the more food u eat the faster the spicy will go away lol u should see them eat trying to get it to gpo away or when they arent and u mention the warning u want hot pepper they say no and sometimes start eating and sometimes just see if u will let it slide with another warning nope thats when the pepper hits yummy i say and they mad but they eat but anyways this is just my experience and opinion i know all kids are different

Shauna - posted on 01/08/2011

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I dont have a child with ADHD .. but i have it myself. Growing up i always felt i dissapointed my parents, and the symptoms with ADD are uncontrollable ... know that he is trying to behave. Counseling may help. Just always listen to what your child has to say and praise praise praise, over punishment. I think spanking is the worst for this scenario as he doesnt feel he did anything wrong b/c again he cant control it.

Nichole - posted on 12/29/2010

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You should look into the mental health programs in your area. Medications are helpful, but can only do so much. Counseling & therapy could really benefit him by teaching him how to control his behavior/impulses, and give him an outlet for his energy/emotions. Also most mental health centers have Parent Support resources which can help you figure out the best ways to interact/discipline your child and how to deal with any stress in raising a child with ADHD. I strongly encourage you to look into the resources in your area. I work at a mental health center with children.

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MissMommyMay - posted on 05/31/2013

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Did he have any symptoms as a baby? My babe is very intelligent but so very hyper alot of the time. Also has Stereotypic movement disorder which in lamence terms means he wiggles (stims) alot when hes excited which is alot. i wonder if its due to access energy. ADHD is in my family.

I wish you good luck in your quest to help your young one.

BethAnn - posted on 05/31/2013

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I have 2 ADHD boys and an 18m and I go through hell it seems almost everyday. I could use the help too cause I've triedeverything myself and nothing works.

Nicole - posted on 01/12/2011

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Yes also agree same punishment everytime maybe diferent punishment for different offenses depending on severity but it does work and sometime as parent dont want to stick to it and just keep giving warning after warning if u do it again i will NO we have to do what we say whatever the punishment when we say it so they know we mean business and even though at times it may hurt us inside but they will learn over time and we wont have to so often consistency is the main thing

Alexis - posted on 01/12/2011

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Each punishment, was it a one time thing? Perhaps he knows that this new form of punishment is short lived and that he will get his stuff back and you will quit. Discipline has to be consistent with every time he acts out and long term. You can't just dish out a punishment one day and change it or give up the next day. Sit down and write out the main rules for him and the family. Post it somewhere, like on the fridge so everyone can see it, make sure to talk it over with the family too. Then explain what the punishment\discipline will be for breaking the rule. Every time the rule is broken you need to implement the discipline. You need to be firm and hold your ground, be consistent long term and see if that helps. Also he may be getting bored, like any kid does being at home all week. Try getting him outside or doing more physically active things to help run off some energy. Good Luck

Nicole - posted on 01/12/2011

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i agree they love the charts and also with the behavior mine do that too and just yesterday we had an appointment with the dr for his meds and i explained whats been going on and changes and dr recomended putting my son on another med besides the one hes on for his adhd to help control or stabilize his moods but he said he will wait till next appointment to see if necesary he goes every two months because he is also on meds for epiliepsy and didnt want to put him on more meds than necesary

Katie - posted on 01/12/2011

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Thank you all for the great advice. I will do what I can...as for the spanking he does listen a bit better because he knows what will come of it if he doesn't. He is a sneaky little child at night. He creeps around and either plays a video game, tv, or takes my laptop into his bed to play. I have had to lay in bed with my door wide open to keep an eye out on him...he procrastinates on going to bed... "i have to go the bathroom," excuse several times.

Thanks again all.
Katie

Katie - posted on 01/12/2011

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OMG I know what you mean about the fits... it's bad here too. I will send Jeremiah to his room to cool down and I hear him throwing stuff around and more. . . I went down their one day and it looked like a tornado struck through his room and are basement. I sometimes wish I could read his mind and know his thoughts ya know. With him and the medication, its helped him greatly in attention span esp at school. It's just the behavioral issues and homework time I also struggle with. I hope he grows out of it like his Dad. He's a smart boy when he puts his mind to it. Good luck dear!

Thanks again.
Katie

Katie - posted on 01/12/2011

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Nicole, I appreciate the advice. I do the same also as in not taking them to many places. I have tried taking things away such as "Star Wars" movies, tv, wii, and more and doesn't seem to help. I don't know what else to do if that doesn't make him change his attitude. I did get him a "responsibility chart" he loves to look at this daily. It helps some but boy is he a handful in getting ready for school in the morning. My nerves are shot by the time I'm done. Well, if you have anymore advice I will greatly take any.

Thanks again.
Katie

Sofia - posted on 01/09/2011

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Im in the same boat with Shauna. its something we cant control and it should be worked out as a team effort. its hard to see when you should punish or not. I got in trouble a lot when i didn't know what i was doing and everyone around me was convinced i was lying and that i was trying to play innocent. that was hard to carry my whole life. even now, its difficult.

Nicole - posted on 01/08/2011

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yes i agree some medicines only make things worse my son was put on a medicine for agression and helped with agreesion but made him to where he peed in his pants he would be at school and get the urge to go to the bathroom but before he made it to the bathroom he would have already peed his pants and several incidents at school especially embarrasing in front of others kids and me having to take him change of clothes to school for a 9 yr old i felt for him they changed his meds it did help but it seems it doesnt work as well for agression and still has some accidents but not as frequent and my other child 11 they upped his dose and he went from his normal irriting others self to wanting to stab people and saying stuff like that and actually did once stab my oldest daughter 12 at the dinner table one night so they lowered bak down the dose these meds do help somewhat but are also dangerous I have 6 kids altogether so i rather just put up with them at times than have these dangerous side effects but also at a same no side effect level they are helpful to help them concentrate at school bcuz without the meds the teachers definitely no and actually call me to see if he has taken his meds i know times are difficult especially that young and to the one that said was told to let them throw their tantrum and try to talk afterwards I was told the same when my son was small he would have the same tantrums actually two of my sons one more than the other but i just had to make sure they wouldnt hurt themselves wherever we were at sometimes when they had one even in public i would let them be on floor going at in and yes even in the middle f the grocery store aisle and yes people look at you like ur crazy but as long as they are not beating there head on the floor as sometimes mine would i would wait till they were through and then just carry on as if nothing had happened but when ur pressed for time thats another story usually when that i would either leave and carry them out without myself getting hurt or give them what they wanted at the moment be it a candy or whatever if possible which i know its not right but i did and yopu gotta do what u gotta do to get urself and them through the situation but also be consistent so they get the idea or before i would go into the store if i had to take them i would say im just going in here for this and this and only getting that so dont ask for anything and no tantrums sometimes it worked i know ur problem isnt store in general but just my experience be it the store or home and sorry for such a long post oh and if ur at home its lot easier let throw fit as long as not hurting themselves or others and pay no atention verbally or physiclly no eye contact nothing and if its attention they want they will learn that throwing a fit will not get them that they have to be calm to get it and when they stop throwing fit and are calm praise oh look at u how u are soo good i like it when ur example playing so nicely

Alyssa - posted on 01/05/2011

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My step son is exactly like that, hes been on different medications, and they've all had a reverse reaction on him. Instead of calming him down, it makes him worse. He'll be 5 in Jan, and he's been so bad that we've had to keep him in his room and wait to talk to him until hes calmed down.
We also take him to the University of Michigan behavioral clinic, and its not helping at all! we've just been told to let him throw his little fits, and when hes calmed down talk to him them

Nicole - posted on 01/05/2011

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I have 3 boys with adhd and it can be a challenge but i learned that one i control their sugar intake it helps and also rewards like say if we go out to church or like store and they behave when we get home they get a reward it sometimes works and sometimes doesnt but i always remind them that they can and will loose their reward. But lately i have avoided taking them to the stores to avoid problems alltogether

Jennifer - posted on 12/29/2010

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I have never taken my oldest to be officially diagnosed, but he showes all the signs of ADHD. One thing that really helps his behavior is grape seed extract (25 milligrams per 25lbs of body weight every day) They have found in studies that children and adults respond the same if not better than most ADHD drugs and it is an all natural substance made from grapes. It was origionally used for allergies, but when people started taking it on a regular basis, they noticed an increase in mental focus, decreased heart beat, relief of acne, and improvements in moods and sleep. You won't notice a huge improvement instantly, but over a couple weeks things should get better. There have been times that we ran out, and since the nearest health food store is about 1/2hour away, we didn't have any for a week and I really could tell a huge difference. Also, avoid sugar. I have noticed that even a small amount of sugar will make my son act up. Also, a lot of kids like this are very sensitive to chemicals found in normal household cleaners. Check out melaleuca.com. That is where I get all my household cleaners, shampoos, laundry soaps, deodorants...ect. Their products are plant based and don't contain all those harsh chemicals.

Katherine - posted on 12/29/2010

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Try to start a sticker chart with him. this would be the ideal time. Ignore the bad behavior and praise the good. If he doesn't get a sticker ignore it. When he does praise to the max.

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