Against cry it out method

Daisy - posted on 11/27/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I am a mom of a 4 year old little girl and a one year old little boy and i have to say that with my daughter sleeping was a little bit better than with my son. We never really had to leave my daughter to cry it out because she wouldn't want to sleep, she eventually fell asleep on her own but still woke up several times at night until now, she sleeps all night. Gabriel is another story, he has been teething since 3 months old and still at one year old no teeth but we know that is what bothers him at night sometimes. He used to sleep alot more in his crib at night but lately he just doesn't want to. He ends up in our bed but we take him back when he falls asleep which doesn't take long. We have tried the cry it out method and i have to say that it is just not for him. We don't like to hear him in distress and at the same token it really doesn't work on him. I guess for some babies it works for others it doesn't and i am just hoping and praying that once he gets a little older and he has his own toddler bed, he will outgrow this situation we are having now.. He starts out in his crib until about 1am or 3am and from there just doesn't want to be in there...

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Megan - posted on 11/30/2010

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My 17mo daughter was the exact same way. I would end up sleeping with her in our spare room every night around 1-2am. For her, I think it was a comfort issue. I thought is was her seperation anxiety carrying over to night time, but as soon as I laid her in the bed she would just stayasleep and not move a muscle. Where as when I laid her in her crib she would wake up as soon as I tried to lay her down (after she was out cold). I finally decided to take the crib out of her room (after all, she wasn't even sleeping in it) and take the matress from our spare room and put in it her room. I made sure there were plenty of pillows to surround her with, in case she rolled off the bed (this was my biggest concern). And now she at least sleeps in her own room. I too have found that letting my kids cry (I also ave a 3yo) does not work. It would only make things worse and then nobody got any sleep. I'm not sure if this information helps or not, But I just want to let you know that you are not alone. Good luck to you!

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Daisy - posted on 12/01/2010

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I used to have music on for him and he hated it, it would not soothe him at all it would make him more alert so that didn't work and they have a night light...

Nikkole - posted on 12/01/2010

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My daughter used to cry at night and would wake up like 10times throughout the night so i put a nightlight and sound machine in there and now shes fine i hate hearing my kids cry for any reason i dont do the cry it out method unless there throwing a fit or something!

Daisy - posted on 12/01/2010

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Thank you everyone for all your advice and support. I honestly think that he just does not like the crib, because soon as he is in a bed he sleeps til morning. He actually does sleep but does not want to be in his crib. I think that once i can get him into a toddler bed in the near future hopefully things will change. Regardless, i can't say that he doesn't know how to soothe himself to sleep, he does because he's done it a couple of times while being wide awake but in his defence he still has no teeth and they are right there about to pop but nothing yet and maybe it bothers him during the night. My daughter was the same way she would wake up a couple times at night and we would bring her to bed but take her back and she would wake up in her crib, that was the only difference. He used to do that until he started teething, that's when he stopped doing it. But he even went one night from 8pm til 7am only waking up once at 4am and falling right back to sleep...i miss thattttt.....Anways, thank you so much and we'll see what happens, for now we are going to start training him that he cannot come to the bed with us anymore.

Chrissie - posted on 11/30/2010

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I am not against the cry it out method. I think children need to learn to console themselves to some point at a certain times. There is a difference between cry it out and a colicky baby. Knowing the difference is the key.

Kayla - posted on 11/30/2010

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my daughter was the same way, but i found all she wanted was a brighter night light and some noise, ever since i put a lamp and a radio in her room she sleeps like an angel!! usually 9pm to 9am, try a radio with nice soft lullaby music, you never kno it might work for him too, good luck

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Listening to your baby cry is the absolute worst for a mommy......especially a tired one! But it can also be dangerous for some households too.....especially if you find yourself getting more and more exhausted, and more and more frustrated. You'd be surprised how quickly you can actually become angry at the baby (one of those things I think people don't talk about). We call our youngest the incredible non-sleeping baby.....and she has been a nightmare at the worst of times. She just turned 1 and is only starting to give us 9 hours at night. But she used to wake up constantly, all night long. We'd change, feed, burp......pace the floor singing/rocking. She would fall asleep and we'd put her back in her crib. We couldn't even get out of the room often without her snapping awake. I don't really like the CIO method either.....it's sooo stressful. But after our 5th, 6th, round in the night.......you get too a point you just can't physically continue, and we'd have no choice to just put her back in the crib. What are you going to do with a baby that just doesn't want to sleep? As tired as she was, she could still cry for hours. (And it wasn't pain, hungry or anything else because our Doc says if the crying stops when you enter the room.......then it is Will power.) She would either eventually fall asleep, or go to morning and our other 2 would wake up.....often way too early. But after several months (no, not a typo) of just letting her cry.......she is finally starting to soothe herself. I admit it, it's a terrible way to learn how to fall asleep, but that fact is, they have to learn it - the same as any other skill. And some babies just are determined to do it the hard way. After 10 months of literally a couple broken hours of sleep at night....I just couldn't function during the day anymore. It was getting dangerous for me even be at home with children, or driving them around. Our lives were stalled. My other 2 were constantly tired from being woke up almost nightly. They'd stay in their beds.....but the constant crying was disruptive. Everyone is much better rested, and happier for it these days! So I guess on one hand I agree that CIO is not the best way, but I have to admit, in some cases it is the only way.

SONJA - posted on 11/28/2010

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MY DAUGHTER ALISIA-ELEZIBETH IS ALMOST 3 MONTHS- AND SOMETIMES THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO TO SOOTHE HER CRYING.AND I DON'T WANT HER TO GET USED TO THE IDEA OF EVERYTIME SHE WAKES U- SHE CAN CRY TO GET US TO PICK HER BACK UP FOR NO REASON.SO WHEN SHE DOES WAKE UP SHE IS CHANGED, FED, BURPED AND IMMEDIATELY LAYED BACK DOWN IN HER BASSINET WITH IT DIM AND SOFT MUSIC PLAYING.IF SHE CRIES WE TRY TO SOOTHE HER IN HER BASSINET BY JUST RUBBING HER TUMMY, OR HER HEAD, OR SINGING TO HER WHILE SHE IS LAYING IN HER BASSINET. ALSO I HAVE LEARNED SHE LIKES TO LOOK AT LIGHTS TO MAKE HERSELF FALL ASLEEP- SO A HUMIDIFIER THAT PROJECTS STARS ON TO THE WALL AND CEILING ARE A GREAT INVESTMENT. PLUS THE TWO IN ONE ITEM IS A SPACE SAVER FOR SMALL ROOMS. THIS HELPS DISTRACT HER FROM CRYING- AND BETWEEN THE LIGHTS AND THE MUSIC- IT SOOTHES HER BACK TO SLEEP.

Amanda - posted on 11/27/2010

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My oldest was the same way. He was my first so I'd take him into my bed and he'd sleep til morning with me. He was about 3 when my oldest daughter was born and that's why I would have to go without sleep for about a week to train him that when he gets up he isn't coming into my bed. His father on the other hand let him climb in bed if I'd falled asleep on the couch, and I'd get SOO mad! But after a week he was sleeping through the night in his bed. Your son is still young. You could try giving him some tylenol before bed and if not before bed when he wakes up so that it will kick in and make the teething stop hurting. I wouldn't keep bringing him in your bed because the habit only gets harder to break. But I do understand that the crying it out method isn't for every kid. My youngest cries when she's sick and my fiance gets angry but I'll take her to the couch and fall asleep with her out there just to snuggle and make her feel better! That's only on rare occasions tho! Good luck and remember it won't last forever!!

Jo - posted on 11/27/2010

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Our son was the same way, he would wake up in he middle of the night and we would take him to bed with us. It's not unusual for babies to be up during the night until they're 2-3 years old, some even longer.



Some lil things you could try, instead of getting him out of the crib, sit or lay beside his crib and whisper softly to him, sing or hum to him so that he has to lay down to hear you and then the singing/humming will put him down to sleep.



If he is teething, he could be waking up feeling poopy and just wanting your presence for comfort, which isn't unusual either.



It might take a lil bit of time, but once he realizes that you will be there to comfort him, even if he stays in his crib, he will sleep better in there. Just be consistent to go to him and sit or lay beside his crib.



You could hold his hand through the rails or put your hand on his back and pat him. My son liked his feet being softly rubbed and it put him to sleep almost every time, so we would sit beside his crib, turn his lil music player on and rub his foot through the crib railings.



He's now in his own toddler bed (he turned 2 this Oct) and he still wakes up in the night sometimes, we just go in and tuck him back in, turn on his music and rub his feet or hold his hand he goes back to sleep almost immediately.



I love your sons name, my son's name is Gabriel too :)

Elizabeth - posted on 11/27/2010

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my son is the same way he is only 7 months but we can not try the cry it out method cuz my mother in law lives with us and every time he cries she goes in our room and gets him.

Stifler's - posted on 11/27/2010

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Once my kid is in bed, he doesn't come out of the cot until morning. I just give my kid Nurofen when he wakes up with teething pain and pat him for a bit and then leave him in the cot with his Elmo cuddly and a dummy.

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