Age gap between babies

Lauren - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 91 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone,

I am new to this, not really sure how it works, guess I just ask my questions and people comment? ok here goes.

I was wondering what people think is the best age gap to have between siblings. I have a 6 month old and my partner and I were considering trying again when she is about 9 months old, to give an 18month - 2 yr age gap (depending of course how long it takes us to conceive). Does anyone else have children that close together. Im concerned about two in nappies etc.

Thanx guys

-Lauren

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Glo - posted on 04/27/2010

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I had 5 kids. My first 2 were 11 months apart. Baby # 2 and 3 were 11 years apart. Babies # 3 and 4&5 (twins) were 13 months apart. Obviously none of them were planned! lol

They are all grown now (ages 40, 39, 28 and 27/27) and have kids of their own.All of them are the best of friends and I have never heard any of them complain about how they were raised or that they felt deprived because I was busy with a sibling(s) and didn't pay enough attention to them.

If you feel you are ready for another baby, then go for it. But if you want to wait, please explain this to your husband. This has to be a joint decision. You both have to be ready to have another child no matter how close or far apart you have them.

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Dominique - posted on 05/11/2010

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I have two boys and they are ten years apart my husband and I want to have one more and what I have been told that a good gap is two years since then your body has time to recover from the previous pregnancy.

Roxanne - posted on 05/11/2010

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don't do it! wait until your little one stops drinking the bottle and stops wearing diapers trust me you'll save alot of money that way plus it's better that way. think about it do you really want to be changing diapers all day long? losing more sleep then you already are? wait a little more think about all the stuff you won't be able to do if you have two little ones. i waited. only my gap is 9 yrs. i have an 11 yr old and a 3 1 /2 yr old. which i think is good cause if i did want to take a nap then she would be able to watch him. i could run to the corner stoe and not worry about car seats. it's some what easy to go out with one kid but when you have 2 that are so little it not so easy besides most people can't find sitters for 2 kids well they go out. trust me you do what you want cause remember you will be the one up in the night not him unless you have the perfect husband. lol

Kate - posted on 05/10/2010

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Here's looking at it from a different view point. My siblings were 11 years older and 7 years younger than me. For me it was not good to have so much age difference. l had siblings to put up with, but they were too different from my age to be playmates. So l feel l had all the bad with none of the good of having siblings. Therefore, our kids are close in ages. The oldest just turned 3,the twins are 9 1/2 months and we are trying for another one this summer.
As for people saying to give your body time to recover, there doesn't seem to be too many times where l hear of complications in a pregnancy because the mom didn't wait long enough.
Usually siblings get along a lot better the closer they are in age.
As a parent, if you feel you're ready for another one, who's to say you should wait or go for it now.

Heather - posted on 05/10/2010

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My husband and I wanted to have ours with about the same age difference you are considering, BUT, I ended up pregnant with my son when my daughter was only three months old! :D They are one year, five days apart. In the beginning it was VERY difficult, as I was nursing him and she had just begun to walk and was getting into EVERYTHING so it was hard to keep up with her when needing to stay stationary with him to feed him, as he ate A LOT. You won't have this problem... and now, it is a lot of fun! Both in diapers isn't really a big issue for us, it is more expensive, but I'd say go for it.... I think having them so close together in about the same stage makes it easier. I can't imagine getting one potty trained, into school, etc., then essentially starting over again, you know? Good luck coming to a decision.

Sonia - posted on 05/10/2010

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Anything from 18 months to 5 years is ok, but after that I would wait for the first child to be at least 12, so that there would be no jelousy, just love. Two in diapers is almost like twins, but I would wait 'till the firstborn is fully pottytrained and then try for another baby, but that's just me :-)

Eileen - posted on 05/09/2010

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When I had my first, the community nurse that visited soon after I had got home from the hospital asked me when I was going to have another one! I was rather surprised as I had only just given birth! She suggested however that we plan a 2 to 2 and a half year age gap. I must have retained this piece of advice somewhere in the back of my mind as there is a gap of almost exactly to the day, 2 and a half years between my boys. (By the way I still had 2 in nappies in the beginning) I found the gap just great, the younger child went through the various stages after the elder had passed through them and they are still close enough to be mates. They are now young adults and are still good friends. Hope this is helpful, Eileen

Erica - posted on 05/08/2010

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I have 3 kids. My oldest son will be 5 next month, then i have a 3 yr old daughter & a 7 month old baby boy. So my 1st two are 21 months apart & my 2nd & 3rd are 2 1/2 yrs apart. It get hard sometimes but I think part of it is because my girl is in the middle & she & my oldest son disagree alot! I have always had 2 of them in diapers at once & other than the cost of buying more diapers, it wasnt a big deal to me.Luckily my baby is now the only one in diapers though.

[deleted account]

hey lauren, my firat little man is 5 months me and my husband have decided ourselves that we will start trying when he is 9 months old so to have them close togeather but hopefully not same month. i grew up having my sister 8 yrs apart and we have never got along till now when she is 18, my husband on the other hand has a brother 3 yrs yonger then him they dont always get along so we are going to take the jusmp and try ffor our third we might leave till a bit later maybe the 2 yrs but i ahve always wanted to have my children close in age so can play with each other ad share toys and frends. its your choice but good luck.

Nicole - posted on 05/06/2010

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i have a 3 month old but we aren't planning another until he is about 2 or 3. ive heard that for optimum developmet you should wait 4 years. i think its up to you

Donna - posted on 05/06/2010

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My two are 3 1/2 years apart. It just happened that way, no planning on our part. It worked well for us because our daughter was old enough to understand about the new baby being fragile and she was able to help (get a clean diaper, hand him toys, play peek-a-boo, feed the baby with my help, etc.). She felt protective of her brother because she knew that he couldn't do things like she could. Our daughter was out of diapers, diaper bag and stroller for about a month when we found out we were pregnant with our son. That meant only having to carry around diapers, bottles, and other "baby" items for one and not for two. I still kept wipes, a cup and a change of clothes for her, though, because you never know when the hands/face/legs need a wipe-down or just a whole change of clothes will be needed.

I have cousins who had there kids within 18 months of each other so that they could be out of the diaper stage quicker (they were out of diapers completely within 4 years of the first birth while I carried diapers around for almost 8 years - my daughter was 3 1/2 when she potty trained, my son was born after that, and my son finished potty traing at age 4.)

The downside for my cousins was that their oldest didn't understand "sharing Mommy & Daddy" and didn't know how to express her feelings being as that she was so young when the second was born.

Keep in mind, at 18 - 24 months, there are going to be a lot of times that both kids are tired at the same time and just can't walk anymore, so you'll need a stroller which can carry both of them when you are out & about and you don't have anyone available to push that second stroller.

So there are pluses and minuses for every situation. Have fun!

[deleted account]

My oldest is 22 months older then her sister and her sister will be 21 months older then the baby I'm oregnant with now. I personally like "getting it over with" but I know I havent slept in over 3 yrs so maybe I've just gone insain!

Maria - posted on 05/05/2010

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My little boy was 2 years & 2 months old when i had my daughter. I wont lie to you its really hard! I potty trained my eldest when the baby was 4 weeks old & i wan breast feeding!
My daughter is now 9 months old & my son is nearly 3, its alot easier now so if you can stand a good 6 months of very hard work its worth it :)
good luck
xx

Christina - posted on 05/04/2010

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Hi, I'm christina, I currently have 5 children close together,and am really glad about it, the play really well together. Our first two children are 11 months apart, then 16 months,then 13 months, andthe longest gap 23 months. SO we currently have 6, 5, 4, 3, and 1. At one pointwehad 4 in Nappies, not really an issue, as they get bigger, they manly dirty thenappy around the same time, so I would change themall at the same time, as it was over with pretty quickly, also have themclose theylike watching playschool together, while I get dinner ready, and like simlar toys. All go to bed at 7pm. So I guess whatever works for your family. Also forme I get prettysick while I'm pregnant, so Having them close was somuch easier because, they still took day sleep, so I could rest, and I didn't have to take anyone to classes,like gymnatics. and only went out when I felt upto it, but because they where young I could get away with that pretty easy because they where happy to stay home, and didn't know they where missing out on anything.
Christina

Lisa - posted on 05/04/2010

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well, it looks as if I have you all beat so far. My son is 17 years old and my daughter is 8 months old. They are inseparable! I cannot wait for this summer when they can spend more time together!

Kendall - posted on 05/04/2010

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I have had both sides of the table, my daughter was 5 1/2 when my first son was born, and then i had another boy 22 months later, the big age gap of my first 2 was due to no relationship at the time, then i got married and had 2 boys, i think they both have their good side and bad side, i think i liked the smaller gap better but the gap between my first and last is 7 yrs so i am not sure if i am done having kids, might just want 1 more, hmm, good luck.

Patricia - posted on 05/04/2010

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My daughter who is 2 plus yrs older then her sister and she tells me and her all the time that she wish that they were closer in age like her and her brother who are only16 months apart.

Susan - posted on 05/04/2010

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I have 5 kids all between 18mths - 22 mnths apart. I had problems with each pregnancy and sometimes wished I'd left a bit longer between each one cus it has had an effect on my life in a big way really. I do struggle to cope sometimes although my kids aren't too badly behaved. I didn't find it too much trouble having 2 in nappies at a time. I just sometimes wished I'd waited longer to give my body more time to recover and get back in shape although I wouldn't change my kids for the world!

Lexann - posted on 05/04/2010

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My husband & his brother were 5 years apart, and they aren't very close. His brother was out of the house before he was even in high school, and they just didn't grow up like "brothers", they had/have very different lives. My sister & I were only a year apart, and we fought like dogs & cats. We drove our parents nuts! My two boys are just under 3 years apart, and it's perfect! They are close enough to play together, but not so close that they fight continually. I love their age gap. Eldest is a good big brother, he likes "taking care" of his brother, and the youngest really looks up to him, thinks he hung the moon. They are the right age to share interest in videos, toys, etc. I think 3 years is perfect.

Laurie - posted on 05/04/2010

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I think it all depends on your situation. My first two are currently 8 and 5 with a 2.5 year age gap between them. This was incredibly hard for me because my son ended up needing speech therapy in addition to other therapies and balancing his care and attention with that of a newborn was NOT easy. While it is true, they get along well and play together nicely now, it was very hard on me. Luckily my son was a VERY easygoing child. When it came to having baby #3, I am just now expecting. My daughter was extremely demanding as an infant and toddler and I felt that I would not be able to give either her or a new baby the attention that they both deserved. We decided to wait until she was in preK and I am so glad that we did. She is far more receptive to sharing the limelight now! So, I think it depends on your situation and the personality of your little one. If she is relatively laid-back, then adding a sib might be simple but if she is a bit more demanding, I would say wait a bit. I have friends with sibs that are significantly older and they get along just as well as the little ones that are close in age!

Courtney - posted on 05/03/2010

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i have two that are 25 and half months apart and they are very close and play good together. my brother and i are the exact same age apart as my two and we talk every day and see each other at least once or twice a week. i did get pregnant with my second very quick but i waited until my first was a year. good luck in whatever you decide.

Ally - posted on 05/02/2010

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I think that is a perfect age gap!! I have 2 sons & they are 10 months apart and I love it, I wouldn't have it any other way! They are best friends, they share clothes, shoes everything!! My fiance and I will be trying for another baby when my youngest son is 18 months!

Jennifer - posted on 05/02/2010

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I have 4 kids. My first and second are 16 months apart. One is a tomboy and the other is a girly girl, but they still play together pretty well. It was hard having to buy 2 sizes of diapers, and my older girl wasn't old enough to entertain herself while I was busy with her sister. When I had my son, my girls were almost 4 1/2 and 3 years old and they were able to help me a little bit with their brother, bringing me diapers and shaking a rattle or something to entertain him. My baby is now 4 months old and my son will be 6 in August, he was almost 5 1/2 when his baby sister arrived and he is a huge help. However the older 3 are all now in school, so the baby won't have the same interests and the older kids won't want to have to play "baby games". I have done both the closer together and the farther apart, and both have their pros and cons. I'd suggest weighing the pros and cons and decide what is best for your family. Good Luck!

Bekka - posted on 05/02/2010

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Oh gee..my son and daughter are 14 years apart...he was my surprise baby..my miracle baby....

Megan - posted on 05/02/2010

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Hi Lauren,

My two kids are 20 months apart and are now 5 and 3.5years old. Right now it's wonderful. They're very close and play really well. It wasn't too hard when they were babies because my son was (and still is) such a well behaved little boy. It wasn't the nappies that ever bothered me, it was the nights when they would both wake up all night and so I would literally have about an hour sleep.

It's really hard to tell you what the best thing is to do because every circumstance is different. I would never take back anything, but I wouldn't do the 'close age gap thing' again. We're now trying for our third and I'm very excited about the age gap of 4 years (that's if we fall pregnant asap) because my daughter is pretty independent and I can actually tell her to wait a minute if she's asking for something but i have to tend to the baby. That was the hardest thing with two so close in age (when they were babies of course).

Anyway, I hope that helped. You'll know the right thing to do, and just remember us mummies deal with and love whatever situation comes our way.

Cheers,
Megan :O)

[deleted account]

I have a 15 year old and a 18 month old. We are looking at having another baby in 12 months or so.

Outi - posted on 05/02/2010

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My second and third are 18.5 mos apart.. by an accident.. lol.. at first I was scared but it actually worked out for the best. They are so close together that they are bestfriends and do most of the things together ( boy and a girl) they are interested in same things and just are thrilled when the other one is around. Of course they fight too..
The first few months of course were hard but once the baby grows up a little bit ( sleeps thru night etc) it was great.
I also have an older one ( 2.5 y older than my middle one ( and he gets along well with his brother and they play somewhat well most of the time but he rarely interacts with his sister ( 4 y younger than he is)
So if you can bear the crazyness for about 6 mos, totally go for it, its easier after that since they are so close together you dont have to gear activities to two different age groups

[deleted account]

my 1st son is 10 will be 11 at the end of Sept. My 2nd turned 2 in Jan. We did not plan the 2nd and it was like starting all over again. but the oldest is so great with his brother and the youngest loves his bubba more than anything. What ever gap you chose it will work out for the best.

Seona - posted on 05/02/2010

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i have 22 months between my boys. was hard, big bed as needed cot and 2 sets nappies. wait till be hard but wel worh it.good luck.first is year as takes that long for yor body get back normal.

Kristy - posted on 05/01/2010

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me and my brother are two years apart. i have a 10 month and a 8 year old. we try to keep them close but that didn't happen. i think the closer the better. so now i have a lot of help with my older one. good luck....

Sheralee - posted on 05/01/2010

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Im pregnant with my #2 now and have a 11 month old, was a bit of a shock but it is going to be good, I will have the 2 kids that I wanted before Im 30 next year :)

Kristie - posted on 05/01/2010

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I have 2 that are 20 months a part it is great in some ways because they re so close and best friends. The diaper thing is not so bad.. Shopping by yourself with two is a challenge sometimes but invest in a good front carrier for the small one and its better.

Roseann - posted on 04/30/2010

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my son is 8 years old my daughter is 5 years old it is perfect they play together they are always doing things with each other they are very close most of the time when one needs something they do it for each other that gives me a break from getting up all the time its funny they serve each other it is nice. 3 years apart to me that was perfect i had time to get my body ready for the next baby by the time i had my daughter my son was potty trained so i was ready for her..

Ikira - posted on 04/30/2010

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mine is 21 months apart and both are still in diapers. i actually like the fact that they are this close in age because of the fact that they both will always have each other and can play with each other etc...

Sandra - posted on 04/30/2010

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Hello Lauren,

I think the best age is may be 4. Because on that age our little one has already more understanding, more discipline and has his own activities so we are not too stressful.

And also for us, 4 years is enough time to take a deep breath before begin another 1 whole new process .....

Hope this helped

[deleted account]

My daughter is about to turn 15 months and my boyfriend and I will have just decided to start trying now which would put the kids about 2 years apart which is the age gap that I wanted. It is the same age gap between me and my older sister and I feel it is a good one. Still can have good play time together

Jennifer - posted on 04/30/2010

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My sister and I are like 20months apart. We have a fantastic relationship. My daughter and son are 5 years apart and they adore each other!! It just depends on how you handle the transition. Make sure you treat both exactly the same give them both one on one time. If your first one is off the binkie or bottle at the time do the same with the next. Stay consistent. It's worked wonders with my kids

Amy - posted on 04/30/2010

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i have a little girl who is 18months and i have just found out we are expecting are second baby. i am 8weeks, so my daughter will be 2years when i have the new baby. i will be teaching my little girl how to potty train round her second birthday so with any luck she will be potty trained as the new baby arrives round christmas.no one can tell you what is a good age, it all depends on how you and your partner feel about it all. there is 18months between me and my brother which was nice as we gre up togeather. but there is 12 years between my partner and his sister and that is great too as he really looks out for her and she really looks up to him. x

Kayleigh - posted on 04/30/2010

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my son is 10 months and im 4 months pregnant soooo that makes the age gap about a yr n a half between them all u have to think i they will both be comin outta nappies at near enough the same time get it over in one go xx

Kailey - posted on 04/30/2010

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My Step-son and son are 13 days short of being exactly two years apart. Braden (11/17/07) & Jullian (11/04/09) are great together, they play Braden always asks about weather brother is just wet or went poo poo when i am changing him,He wants to know everything that Jullian is doing. If Jullian cries Braden runs as fast as he can to me and says" Brother CryCry" He is sooooo fond of his brother. Our youngest has health issues and was in the hospital and every nurse that came in while Braden was visiting he said " Please help brother!" It is amazing how well they bond. The only issue we have is Jealousy and you will run into that no matter what seperation there is. I think two years is perfect. It was for us atleast. In my opinion they seem to bond better with less seperation.

Jessica - posted on 04/29/2010

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We have 3 children and they are all that far apart. The first two are 18 months apart and the last two are 17-1/2 months apart. (So our oldest is almost 3, our 2nd is 18 mo and we just had another baby) I think it's great having them this close. They seem to get along better, they also accepted having a new sibling really well! Our older two get along amazingly, they're best friends. It does get kind of crazy at times, but it's great! As far as diapers goes, our oldest just got potty trained a couple months ago, so we still have 2 in diapers. It's not too bad, you just end up forming a routine when it comes to diaper changes. Hope that helps! =)

Jenny - posted on 04/29/2010

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Mine are 13 years apart and I agree that, that is way too long! I think 18 months - 2 years apart is a good span if you want to feel like the diapers are never going to end! Good Luck!

[deleted account]

My first two are 15 months apart. So I became pregnant with #2 when my daughter was just 6months. Not planned, but now I'm happy they have each other to play with since they stay home with me. It was ALOT of work with two in diapers, and different feeding/napping schedules. I just had #3, so there has been almost four years between #2. I'll say it's easier since my son is almost four and pretty independent. But they won't play with one another for quite some time. You have to weigh the pros and cons for you personally. Either way, kids are alot of work. I suggest making a list of pros and cons and getting as much input as possible, then just sift through it. I had wanted to get back into school, so having the first two close was good for me, but financially it was tough - diapers and what not. Good luck !

Candice - posted on 04/29/2010

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I have both sides. My kids are 2 yrs apart. Age 11 and 9. My bro and I are 6yrs apart. My kids get along for the most part. They like the same stuff even if one is a boy and one is a girl. My bro and I were so far apart that I was more like a second mom than a sister. It does not seem that soon to me. They say about a yr in between so your body heals. I think that sounds good. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and your body should be fine.

Jessica - posted on 04/29/2010

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I have two boys. Tristan was born July 2, 2004 and Ezra was born July 2, 2005. I like that. It is called "Irish twins". The same birthday is much easier to plan for.

Gaby - posted on 04/29/2010

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Hey I have two daughters Bella is 3 and Miley is 2 And they get along really well have some mishaps but i would say 2 years apart is a perfect age gap :)

Zara - posted on 04/28/2010

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I have two kids one is going to be 4 in May and the other turned 1 in December so they are 2 1/2 years apart. I love the age difference between my kids!! I have heard a lot of people say its better to have them close together!

Zara Nichols
Helping Moms Work From Home
www.4AHappyLife.com

Rebeca - posted on 04/28/2010

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Hi Lauren
My children are now aged 12 (girl), and 9 (boy). There is about 2 and a half years between them and my daughter was still in night nappies when my son was born although she went to the potty when she was awake.

My friend got pregnant again by accident when her baby was 3 months old so her children both have birthdays in same month as her first was one when her second was born. She was actually breastfeeding both of them for a while!!

We both coped just fine when they were little, and now they are older, her two get along really well as they are both boys but my son is constantly annoying his sister and she has no time for him.

I have a friend whose daughter was 6 when her son was born and she is better with her brother than my daughter, she is like his second mummy and he listens to her more.

I think that every situation is different and it depends a lot on the child's personalities. Don't think about it too much, just spend time with your first child and when you and your partner are ready, start trying again and nature will decide the right time.

Good luck.

Kellie - posted on 04/28/2010

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Hi my two boys are 11years apart and while I feel bad that my elder son didn't have a sibling growing up I am also glad as he has ADHD and we were able to give him the time he needed without sibling rivalry.

I can't really coment on what is better as I don't know, but what I do know is that my older son is rapt with his little brother and spends hours entertaining him and really can't wait to teach him things.

What I think is important is that you love your kids and they feel it whether they are close in age or not. Don't get too bogged down in the details it can have adverse effects on your health and state of mind.

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