Agonizing over having more babies! How do you know when your done?

Melissa - posted on 08/27/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I fear paying for schooling, lack of opportunities, and super crazy life. Can I handle that? Do I want that? Kids are such a blessing but so much work! I love babies and fear I will never get over wanting another one. So how many is that right number?

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Michelle - posted on 08/31/2009

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I think seven is the perfect number. Unless something changes and I have an eighth, LOL.

I have met and talked to many moms of large families, and I have yet to meet a single mom who regretted having so many kids. On the other hand I've had many older ladies quietly confide to me that they wished they'd had just one more. I'm not saying if you have one kid you ought to have a dozen, but if you think you want another baby you should stop agonizing and go for it.

Susan - posted on 08/31/2009

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I agree with the previous posters. We just had our second and I *thought* we would be done after him, but I still feel like someone is missing. One of my friends told me that if you're done, you'll know, and if you don't know, then you aren't done.

I'm also worried about finances, but my MIL told me that if everyone waited until they had enough money to have kids, no one would ever have kids!

Jane - posted on 08/30/2009

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it may be that we will always want one more. if my husband and i had met 20 years ago instead of 3 years ago, i can't imagine how many babies we'd have by now. finances, age, etc factor into it all, too. or maybe we just know when all of our family members have arrived.

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Chantel - posted on 09/02/2009

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I have 2 girls and would love to have a little boy. I'm still young but I want to be sure before I start working full time that I've done my best with my kids at home and I don't want to work just to pay child care. I feel like sometimes I'd love to have one more but other days I just have my hands full. I think when u reach the right number you just know or so I hope.

Jennifer - posted on 09/02/2009

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Go with your heart! I am 33 with a 15yo daughter and a 13 yo son and when they were little I thought "that's it, no more" and I went with it until about six months ago it hit us just how little time we had left with them at home and my husband and I changed our minds...we're now going to try again. Yes, I'm afraid of a lot of the same things too about having more children but I've also learned a lot from my two and in the end, the joy of having them means more than the fear and the craziness. Lack of money means nothing as long as you can afford the basics...we never had any extras when the kids were younger and I think they're stronger and more down-to-earth because of it. Love is what matters and if you believe in your heart that you have more love to give, then go for it! Good luck!

Jodie - posted on 09/02/2009

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i feel the same! I have an 8 year old son and 4 year old twin girls!! I'm now with a new partner and we dont have any children togoether (although he's very good with my 3) I want another baby but i worry so much about too many things lol i guess i want it to happen "by accident" Or for someone to say "go for it" Why do these decisions have to be so hard lol

Melissa - posted on 09/01/2009

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I always thought I wanted 6... but now I think I may be done at 4 (pregnant with #3) just because I want to be able to take them to Disneyland, go surfing, hiking and not always be pregnant.
We are playing it by ear after #4

Molly - posted on 09/01/2009

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for me, I just knew. I've heard many Moms say that too. That they just knew that they wanted to be done. I have 3 boys and now a little girl, so obviously my little girl was a factor :)

Dana - posted on 09/01/2009

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Oh... you will know. I am 42 years old and my husband is 39. between us we have 6 girls and one boy. our boy is our youngest.. Im done. lol although .. I loved being pregnant.. and I dont think that erge for that feelilng will ever go away....

[deleted account]

I feel similarly. I just had my 3rd in May. I always THOUGHT I wanted an even number of kids; silly, but true & now I'm not sure. I have a girl (4.5 years), a boy (2 yrs. next week), and the baby girl. An infant is so much work, I feel like I can't imagine doing it all over again. But then I think why should I let those first 6 or so hard months get in the way of the rest of the times that I really enjoy. I also worry about how taking care of another infant means I'm not spending as much time with the older ones. I'm trying not to make up my mind too quickly and be open to revisiting the idea of another baby in a year or so.



Also, a friend of mine said she knew she was done having kids (& ready to send her husband for the vasectomy), when her period was a day or two late & the thought of another child had her freaking out - worry about daycare, other costs, the trials & tribulations of breastfeeding, etc.

Jocelyn - posted on 08/29/2009

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Well I have 2 girls a 5 yr and 2 yr and I would love another so badly. I feel like something is missing. My hubby is still undecided. I love the three year between my girls and wonder if I wait any longer if 4 or even 5 years would be too much time between.

Sheryl - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have 6 children and I knew the second I saw the pregnancy test with my last one that I was finished. It wasn't a bad feeling, but it was a definite feeling that she would be our last.



Up until that moment, the easiest way for me to describe my knowing that we weren't finished, was that I always FELT like someone was missing - even when we had 5 children - I would look around the room feeling like someone who was suppoosed to be there, wasn't yet.



I promise you won't go crazy if you have another child - but you might regret deeply if you wait to long.

Laura - posted on 08/28/2009

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I just had my third baby and I knew that it would be our last. You eventually reach a point where you cannot imagine having another baby. Give yourself time...there is no hurry.

Lydia - posted on 08/28/2009

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I am in the same situation ..Ian is my First, andI want to have another baby. We decided that we will try for baby number 2. We probably will just have two because of cost of living and my husband 47 and I am 34. In our case age plays a factor. Its wise to look at your current financial situation...if you can manage it go for it.... you do not want to wait to long since the closer in age the better. The siblings will have a better relationship. I am not a believer in... I going to try for a specific gender. I know of a family that have 4 girls and continue to try for a boy. And they barely can afford the children they have. That's not good for the children or for them.Try writting a list of pros and cons and then make a decision.

Julie - posted on 08/28/2009

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I am in the same boat as you are. I have 2 handsome boys 7 and almost 3. I really want to try for that girl, but would be happy if it was another boy. I am having a hard time deciding on what to do. I need to figure out how to get my patience in order before I do. I just love babies!!!!! I wish I could help, but I am at the same place were I don't know myself.

Arwen - posted on 08/28/2009

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It's too many for you when you shudder to think about having more. LOL You'll know when you get there!

Donna - posted on 08/28/2009

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o m g!! i feel exactly the same..im a mum of 4 aged 7,4,3,and 1...and think thats it now perfect 2 of each..then thers always a niggle at bk of my mind...i cant imagine not havin n e more..but id also love 2 go bk 2 work 1 day?? im 26 so plenty of tym but...i dunno!!

Janessa - posted on 08/27/2009

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I know what you mean! I only have one child right now..but I am always going back and forth on wanting another. Somedays I feel like it would be great, other itmes I feel like ones enough! lol So when you find out let me know ;)

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