Alone Time For My Husband and I.

Lauran - posted on 04/19/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I was just wondering if anyone else out there had trouble with their husbands not wanting to leave the child with someone for a little 'alone time'. Our daughter is 1 now, and I thought for sure that we'd at least see a movie or something. He's still uncomfortable about leaving her with our parents too. I know its going to be really hard for me too, but I'm the one who's been home for the past year, I'm ready for some adult time. I think she's only been away from me for a couple hours at most, he on the other hand works. I know work insn't 'fun', but its still time out there in the real world. Our 4th wedding anniversary is coming up next month, and I don't want it to be just another day.

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8 Comments

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Heather - posted on 04/21/2009

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Joining a play group in your area is a fantastic idea!
This will def. help your situation, your daughter can interact with other people her age (as will you), and you might even meet a potential babysitter in the process!

Good luck, hope all works out and you and hubby get your date night!

Trisha - posted on 04/21/2009

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Hi Lauren, that's such a shame your family is not near and that your husband works away from home. My husband works every other weekend and I really cherish his weekends off for some quality family time.



You've got a great idea, I would highly reccomend you get yourself in a play group, as you never know, you might meet another like-minded woman and you can trade baby-sitting, so you get your alone time with your husband, but also great for getting yourself out of the house and your little girl can interact/socialise with other children her age.



I do that with another lady in my Coffee/Play group when she finds it hard to find a baby-sitter she trusts.. and I know she would return the favour when I need it. All the best!

Lauran - posted on 04/21/2009

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It's good to know that I'm not alone out there. Something I didn't mention before was that we have no family around, which is making it much harder. Our daughter doesn't really know my parents or his very well. My mother tries to visit once every month or so. Also my husband works on the road, so we only get to see him on the weekends. I think that may be contributing to him not wanting to leave her. I'm trying to join a play group in my area so she can get some interaction with other kids her age. Hopefully that will warm her up to other people a little more. Maybe someday we'll get out of the house.

Julie - posted on 04/20/2009

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I understand what you are going through! I really think you just need to be honest with him and put your foot down. Could someone come to your home to care for the baby? That might make him a bit more comfortable. My husband and I have only had 2 nights away from our children in 7 years, but in May we are going to a friends wedding for a whole day and night whoo hooo! I am very excited and a little anxious since our youngest has never been away from us for long and she is going to be 2 soon!

Lorraine - posted on 04/20/2009

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I fully sympathise with you. Since my daughter was born 2 3/4 yrs ago and our son 1 3/4 yrs ago I have had 'alone time' 3 times with my husband. Once was when I was in labour with our son. The other two times were when they were down for naps and Grandma was here so we quickly darted of to a list of shopping a mile long before they woke. As far as having time away from the kids myself I think that totals to about 24hrs since daughter was born.



Maybe a sibling who could stay at your place while you have the night out? On the other hand has he maybe had a bad experience being babysat? What about making a playdate alone with Grandma once a week or fortnight while you have some 'me' time might open him up to eventually to leaving her with them for longer periods?

Heather - posted on 04/19/2009

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You and Hubby are way over due for alone time!
When you put your daughter to bed, have a talk with your husband about how important it is for the three of you to have your own time, and discuss possible babysitters for the job.

When you get your Hubby alone, make it special, and one of the best times ever so he won't second guess the next time....it will do wonders for your relationship.

Best of luck!

Trisha - posted on 04/19/2009

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I had the same problem, my little girl is nearly 4 months, and she had her 1st sleep over at Nanna & Poppa's house a few weeks ago, but it had taken me a while to convince my husband that she would be okay, and very well looked after. In fact she would probably checked more often than what we do, as they (Grandparents) don't want anything to happen to their grandchild. He has to realise nothing happened to him, when he was a child or you if it's your parents looking after your little girl. It's all about trust and letting go, try for a couple of hours first, get your parents to come to your house, that way your daughters routine is not disturbed and she can sleep in her own bed, that's how we started off then progressed to a sleep over.. Good luck!

Kristin - posted on 04/19/2009

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I'm in somewhat of the same situation. Although, it's me who needs some alone time. Anyway,I actually work part time, but have my daughter most of the week. We leave my daughter (almost 2) with her grandparents (both sets) one day a week each when I work. I was hesitant at first, but she has bonded with both maternal and paternal grandparents so much and it is adorable to see her with them now. She runs up the them, calls them by name, and, most importantly, she is comfortable with them. It's so important to have time alone with your husband, or just time alone. I try to reiterate that to my husband as well, but he doesn't seem to understand it either. Maybe your husband can watch your little girl while you go out with friends, or by yourself as a start. I love my husband and my daughter with all my heart, but, my goodness, we can't do it all, right? In all honesty, I actually look forward to going to work some days, just so I can get a break. Funny enough, I'm a teacher and work with 20 kindergartners. It's really not a break, but it's different from home. Best of luck.

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