Am I CRAZY?

Christy - posted on 06/29/2010 ( 46 moms have responded )

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My 2 and 3 yr old kids aren't potty trained(not a lack of trying, BTW). They don't eat much and I don't force feed them. I sometimes play on the computer while they are awake. Sometimes we don't leave the house the whole day. There are times I go outside in the backyard ALONE to get away from the screaming. There are times I change the channel from kids shows to talk shows for me. There are times I DON'T make dinner, and DON'T clean the house!! Am I a bad mom? This isn't all the time, BTW. Just venting, and asking.

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Soleil - posted on 07/02/2010

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just a suggestion, try putting one or both kids in a daycare just one day a week. Usually a home daycare (liscenced and insured of course) aren't very expensive, ant that one day to yourself can really make a difference.

Cindy - posted on 07/01/2010

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The fact you even question your behavior tells me you are a good mom. With a two and three year old, you need to do things for yourself occasionally to be the best mom you can for them. If you drain yourself, you will have nothing to give.

Louise - posted on 06/30/2010

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I think your pretty normal for a mum with two kids this young and similar in age. As long as your kids are safe when you are in the garden there is nothing wrong with stepping outside. You do not need to watch childrens tv all day you need to find a balance. Try at least to do something with your kids each day wheather it is simple drawing or lego. They need to be stimulated as much as you need a few minutes on the computer. Try and join a mums and tots where the kids can go and scream and play to their hearts content and you can find adult conversation for a couple of hours. It is really hard to break the mould of boredom but it is something you are going to have to do for your own sanity! Your by no way a bad mum just a mum who is bored stiff and stuck in a rut. Hey were all human!

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Kristi - posted on 02/17/2011

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No, you are not crazy. We all have those days. I have my bad days too. As long as this isn't happening all of the time or most of the time I think you are ok.
It sounds like you could use a break though (not trying to judge) I know when I feel like I am losing it or feel like I am about to lose it - I call in for reinforcements (my husband or sis-in-law) so that i can escape. A lot of people think it is great to be at home with your kids and it is BUT that doesn't mean we SAHM's don't need a break too. No one can be a 'super mom' all the time. I know I tried to be but I couldn't keep it all together. What's important ? The family's health and well-being. Have cereal for dinner or order pizza...do laundry once week, not everyday...clean the house once a week if you can...and you know what, if you are busy doing something fo you while the kids are up I think that's ok they need to learn to be independent too.

Kelly - posted on 02/17/2011

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Since we are confessing I should admit to a few things I do for me. I put the kids in daycare on mondays so I can clean the house (but sometimes I just play computer games and sleep.). Sometimes when the kids are being monsters I will put them in their own rooms and shut their security gates to close them in and I go out on the back porch for a cuppa (not often). Sometimes I unplug the tv and tell the kids the power is off so I dont have to listen to that happy boppy music anymore (about twice a week). Sometimes I sit my two year old at her little table with pencils and paper and ask her to draw me a picture so I can play the sims for half an hour. I make my two year old wash her own dishes in the sink (or give them a bubble bath as she puts it), and get her to water the herb garden while I do the vegie patch. I can go for four days a week in my pjs as I dont leave the house due to no car from tues to fri, and change the pjs after my nightly shower. And god forbid the kids stay in their pjs too. I am a great mother, but I am also human. Never feel guilty for wanting some me time. Its what keeps us sane.

Kate - posted on 02/10/2011

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Heck no! There are times when i shut the door and sit on the computer for a good 5-10 minutes just to get away from it all. Being a stay at home mom (im guessing from post) is hard, even though no one believes it. Im with my kids 24/7 and never get a break, it really starts to take a toll. 10:00 comes around and i dont care what their watching, im turning on the view for an hour to myself (i usually have them take a nap then). If your crazy, im crazy, and so are the other 80% of the moms that dont play with their kids ALL day, clean house and do laundry alll day are also crazy with you. Its life and i think its normal.

Kandace - posted on 07/08/2010

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I have a 1 and 2 year old so I know how you feel with toddlers so close in age. I just keep myself on a schedule and stick to it, it keeps me sane and my babies happy! I have my little ones take a nap at the same time, this is very helpful. Even if their older they can have a quiet time in their room.

Chandra - posted on 07/07/2010

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your completely normaly! My daughter is almpost 2 n a half n not potty trained. She sits on it but notta.. so it will happen when they are ready. though I have learned recently that when outside, specially with the weather being so nice (we're in hot Texas.) I'll let her run around in her bathing suit and she learns, opps had to go potty... she'll get out of the pool when she knows she has to go. so once we get nore practice think she'll catch on more... might be worth a try... Mama's need a break too and gotta get it the way we can.

Megan - posted on 07/07/2010

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Christy, you're NOT crazy!!! You are doing what you have to do to stay SANE! Nothing I read is cause for alarm...as a matter of fact it makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one that feels a little too close to insanity sometimes!:)

[deleted account]

No your not crazy and your not a bad mom...my daughter is 7 and we live in a condo and she is the only child here i feel bad but most of the time she drives me crazy always wanting me to play with her and watch movies..I love spending time with her but, sometimes i just want to be able to talk on the phone and watch t.v. without her interrupting me 24-7 i'll take her out for walks and we will go to the water park and ect...but it never seems to be enough she has been glued to me since the day she was born...so the only quiet time i get is when she goes to sleep...and there are somedays when i'll tell my boyfriend that i don't feel like cooking and he says ok! I clean constantly though and as soon as i'm done i have to clean again lol...

Kay - posted on 07/05/2010

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If you are crazy then most women have to be INSANE! OMG! I read your post and thought that you were me typing it. I have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old. My kids don't eat much and I am on this computer alot. Sometimes I don't leave the house because it's hard to do. You have to get 2 kids ready and yourself. And that is a chore. There are times I don't make dinner, don't clean the house and I have come to the realization that it is just fine. As I read on Circle of Moms, we are all normal going thru the same thing. Having young kids, as most of us do, two young kids, that are very demanding, and very active at these ages. You just have to know that you are not a bad mother, you are doing the best you can, and it will get better. You are not alone. Some days you will be able to cook, clean, leave the house, and run errands. I was surprised when I was able to do it. And it seemed as though my hubby wasnt that understanding because some men think that you should be that SuperWoman. Almost like they expect us to do it, like it's part of our DNA, and to be honest I think it is. But even Superwomen have to make time for themselves. Just take a break, go have a drink with a girlfriend, go out and do you. Good luck.

[deleted account]

I have a 9 month old and what you just said is my life. If it wasnt for the groceries, dr apts, and family stuff I would be at home everyday. I'm a recluse!

Juanita - posted on 07/04/2010

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No you are not crazy just as normal as the next mommy. I have 5 kids my self and believe I do the same as well. I have stuff they can pop in the microwave and I too take a break from cooking and cleaning. Wish I could sometimes run away to a deserted island. But it is all worth it.

Sarah - posted on 07/04/2010

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Im so happy to hear yall say that=) Im married but my husband is abt 7000miles away from us and im alone since 9month now. Had my daughter by myself and totally have those days too.. Im a mommy to a almost 4yr old and a 4month old. And all i wish for is to have my husband by my side.

Maria - posted on 07/03/2010

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i also change the channel to watch my shows only because my daughters young and she doesnt need to much t.v...but your not crazy nor a bad mom..i also need to get away from my one year old daughter because i will go crazy..there are days were ill be lazy and dont clean..its just the baggage that comes with being a momma....so to answer your question..YOUR NOT CRAZY ahah

Jaime - posted on 07/03/2010

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if your crazy then so am i, we all need to take a few moments (or more) to ourselves during the day and if your kids are quite happy to entertain myself for a while, then play on the computer, i do the same and my 1 year old is happy to entertain himself and we both stay sane, if anything, if you were the opposite of what you say i would be worried about your mental health. A messy house is a happy house.

Emily - posted on 07/03/2010

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You're normal. there are times throughout the day that my 6 month old will not let me put him down or out of his sight. I have things to do around the house, i plop him in a seat or in his saucer and i do what i have to, even if it means him crying. about 3 times a day i put him in his playpen (where he sleeps in our room) and give him toys to play with. he'sfine and calms down after he figures out that he's got toys to play with. If you're crazy then 95% of moms on here are. we arent wonder women (although we'd like everyone to think so) I dont have cable so we dont watch TV though, but that doesnt make you a bad parent or crazy. I go outside to smoke a cigarette now and then while the baby is in the house. HES SAFE. i mean why should we stress out all the time and not get anything done. when children need to learn that 24 hours of the day arent thiers because you do that now, they will expect it ALL the time. so in the long run we are hurting our children more than helping. just because you dont run to them ASAP doesnt mean you love them.
I go through a check list, call me a loser.

Is he fed
is he changed
do his clothes fit right?
is he cold/hot?

if you answer yes they arefine and you can do what you have to. i mean if youre a stay at home mom it can get demanding. and take a toll on you. just stay stong. you're doing an awesome job.

Ashley - posted on 07/03/2010

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I think you are normal. First of all, most 2 year olds aren't potty trained, and I know a 4 year old who isn't so... no big deal. I am on the computer while my son is awake and playing by himself right this minute. I don't do it all day, but a few minutes to myself is healthy - as is a few minutes for him to his self. I don't go outside alone, but I do go to bed early once in a great while with a "headache" and also go to yoga 3 days a week to have time to myself. I trade babysitting for that privelidge. We order pizza once every other week (sometimes once a week) and eat leftovers once a week. So, I don't cook dinner every night either. And, my house could use a maid. It's not a pigsty, but it isn't clean. As for the TV, I have been making an effort not to watch so much, or let my son watch so much. BUT we have a portable dvd player that he watches a movie on while I watch my own show on during "quiet time" since he doesn't nap anymore. So please, please don't feel crazy. Get yourself a babysitter and give yourself an hour alone. You will feel better.

Schmoopy - posted on 07/03/2010

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LOL - your post is funny and refreshingly honest. Sounds like you're pretty normal to me!

Ali - posted on 07/02/2010

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Ha! You are what I like to call a REAL MOM! And we're all f-ing crazy! Our kids make us this way. When all else fails blame it on the little people! Hang tough. All you ever need to be is GOOD ENOUGH! Really. You're doing an awesome job!

Jasmine - posted on 07/02/2010

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No way are you a bad mum.
every mum on the face of this earth feels like that from time to time.
I know I feel like that more times then not with my hands full with a 1yr and 2yr old i feel as if there is no escape sometimes.

Kristin - posted on 07/02/2010

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Come on over to my house! You will find yourself in my backyard, in the pool, on the computer or anywhere else you can get away from my 4 when the scream all day long!

You sound like you are doing an excellent job, but need some mommy time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting some adult time in your life. So, go ahead and enjoy it.

Jenelle - posted on 07/02/2010

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I wouldn't say Crazy, I would say normal!! And Brave for admitting it!! Do what works for you! In my group of friends, I am very much alone in this, but it works for me...all of my kids (6) are required to take naps everyday until they are in the first grade! If I don't do this, I go crazy!! I need my time. For me, I'd rather have kids up a couple hours later, than deal with them on my own ALL day!! Kids hit different milestones at different ages. One kid is potty trained over night, the next one takes a full year! My husband does dinner at our house Every night! If I am doing dinner, I order pizza! I've always wanted kids to play with. Never dreamed of growing up and having kids just to shove in front of the TV so I could clean all day! Don't feel bad, I wouldn't. We all do what is best for us! Keep it up!!

Christina - posted on 07/02/2010

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i'd have to say your completely normal. it is impossible to be able to handle your screaming children al the time. some days my daughter is so out of control that we have rest time. she doesn't nap but she plays in her crib so i know she's safe and i can take a break. sometimes i feel selfish but just keep reminding yourself that if you are not sane and clear headed then you can't be the best momma you can be.

Rachael - posted on 07/02/2010

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No you are not crazy! With the kids a house gets messy the minute after you clean.. So I do not clean every single day.. And sometimes you do need to be alone, It is perfectly normal.. =)

Bonnie - posted on 07/02/2010

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You are so not crazy. I'm a stay at home mom with a 2yr and 8month old, they are 20months apart. My husband is working at least 17hr a day, he's a truck driver, so I'm with the boys all day by myself. I have been trying to potty train my 2yr but it's not working. I'm always getting on the computer when they are playing. I try to clean the house and vaccum. But my oldest hates the vaccum! Naptime is so nice because that's when I get the most done and I always turn the computer off and spend the afternoon with the boys outside, if it's not too hot and humid, unless we go swimming. That way I don't feel bad for doing stuff in the morning that I want to do, because the rest of the day is theirs.

Kat - posted on 07/02/2010

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youre not a bad mom, by far. youre pretty normal. i think every mom is this way. i know i get tired of nick jr 24/7, so i turn it. i put him in the playpen in his room w his toys for some alone time where i can just sit and watch something i wanna watch. sometimes i'll tell my husband to take our son for a walk or drive so i can get away for an hour or so. sometimes i stay inside all day with him. so i do the same thing. i think it's normal to feel guilty since the stereotypical stay at home mom is all about mommy-&-me, etc, it rarely shows the actual stay at home mom, making all of us seem like bad moms or whatever

Danielle - posted on 07/02/2010

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Lol I hope you're not crazy...b/c if you are then so am I (and every other mom I know) Don't be so hard on yourself =)

Amanda - posted on 07/02/2010

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Sounds pretty normal to me. I get on the computer while my baby is occupied also. I mean if i'm home all day everyday I might as well do something that I enjoy doing. And no, everyday i'm not totally motivated to sweep, swiffer, dust, do laundry etc. I do keep up with these things and keep my space from looking like a bomb hit it, but what kind of life is constantly all baby and nothing else? Not that I would want anyone else to watch my baby all day, but I do need peace and alone time for my own sanity. I was that way before I even had a baby.

Cindy - posted on 07/02/2010

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It is not that you can't clean floors, it is because you don't want too, AND I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!

I say own it, if I could afford to pay someone, I'd be telling everyone. My floors if I am lucky get cleaned once a month. Is that bad? Cause in our house it is normal. I am having my husband replace all the carpet in the house with wood or tile to make it easier on me. One has to do what they have to do.

[deleted account]

Nah, you're not a bad mom! We all have our faults, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about yours.
Wanna know mine? I feel like confessing.
I go crazy if I don't leave the house, and sometimes, if it is messy I will stay gone ALL DAY, and make my son eat restaurant food for all three meals....and snacks...I suck at packing snacks and such for him.
I pay a teen in our neighborhood to come twice a week and clean my floors b/c I suck at that too, but I tell everyone I do it all myself, because the fact that I can't clean floors makes me feel like a failure.
There are LOTS of nights I don't make dinner.
And I drink wine with dinner every night, which I was blasted for on another board, but didn't know was bad until then, so I must be a clueless mom.
There you go. That felt good!

Katie - posted on 07/01/2010

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there are days i want to do that too. if you're a stay at home mom then that is normal. you never get a break from being a mom. maybe find a baby sitter one night every week and go out and just relax

[deleted account]

You are human - as are the rest of us we all do things that do not fit the model of perfection we have in our minds - it does not make you are bad mom. I do many of the things you do and I stay in my pj's some days too just because I can't be bothered to get dressed (I love PJ days they rule).

Jennifer - posted on 07/01/2010

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I'm a new mom of an almost 3 month old. My house never gets clean, I rarley leave the house or make dinner, and I sometimes stay in my pajamas all day. Not everyone is super mom, and I don't think I'll ever be!

Shalaina - posted on 07/01/2010

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One time my son was driving me crazy and I had not had 'me time' for awhile so I had a movie day...went out and saw 3 movies! (A couple at the $1 theater, but still movies that I wanted to see.) I loved it. He is great at giving 'me time' when I really need it. I truly don't know how single moms do it!
He also is a momma's boy, so it gets very tiring and he has a scream like no other. I definitely can't do the dishes, he even freaks out when I go make his bottle/food!!!

Kelina - posted on 06/30/2010

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No just normal! Sometimes my husband walks in the door and i hand him our sona nd either leave the house or go for a bath and lock both doors! My son is majorly a momma's boy so it can get frustrating as he doesn;t like when i do dishes or cook or clean. I can't vaccum cause it scares the bajeebers out of him. and the second I enter the kitchen he whines until i pick him up, a high pitched earsplitting headbanging whine that makes you want to bang your head against the wall and scream. AS for the potty training I would recommend a reward system. Each time they tell you they need to go potty they get a sticker or something and when they reach the end of their row of stickers then they get a popsicle or soething like that. for your 3 yr old anyway, your two year old will probably pick it up when he/she sees the older sibling doing it. And be patient! It's a big step, make sure you don't freak out thwne they have an accident as that will only prolong the process.

Shalaina - posted on 06/30/2010

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I only have one (almost 1 yr old) and I feel the same as you and I also do all of the above. We all need 'me time'!

Jessica - posted on 06/30/2010

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well i only have one child thats 7 months old, so its not that bad yet. but on her grumpy days, i will even run out and check the mail for just a few seconds to myself. i never make dinner, cuz my bf works nights so it doesnt matter whether i do or not. i only clean the house if i feel up to it, or if it needs it so bad i cant stand it. there is absolutely nothing that cant wait for a while,a tleast the next day, if you dont feel like doing it that day. a mommies life is plenty busy enough without adding the stress of trying to keep a clean house. i almost never leave the house cuz we only have one car and it leaves when my bf does. none of that makes anyone a bad mom, just not perfect. and if someone expects anyone to be perfect, they have another thing coming, cuz there aint no such thing! lol

Natasha - posted on 06/30/2010

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Very normal!! I think everyone has days where they have had enough and need time to themselves. I don't think anyone is fully capable of spending every single second with the children. We all need me time. I also do everything you have mentioned :)

Charlotte - posted on 06/30/2010

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I'd say you're normal, or at least I hope you are cos you sound a lot like me!!!!

Pip - posted on 06/29/2010

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Crazy? NO... Normal? probably.... We are all different, from our looks, to how we handle things. I wouldn't worry, if it's working for you and your family that's all that matters.

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