Am I creating a monster really?

Sarah - posted on 12/12/2010

who cares what other peoploe say do what u want i personally put my baby in his own bassinet/crib from birth and hes still a brat haha :)

Kristie - posted on 12/11/2010

my baby girl is 6 months already and she still sleeps with me on my bed. She loves sleeping with me and i wouldnt have it any other way. It's tiring at times, but she is the first thing i see when i open my eyes and i couldnt ask for anything more!

Deanna - posted on 12/11/2010

We let my first child sleep with us until she was about 5 and a half. (we share custody with her dad) Anyway, at about 5-6 years old my DH told me enough and we started making her sleep in her room. We lived in hell after dark for over 2 months. When she seemed to "get it" and stay in her room I freaked out a couple of times. A few times I woke up and she was just standing in the doorway staring at me not moving or talking. I had just woke up because I felt I was being watched. (go figure)
The final straw was when I had that feeling again I actually took a breathe and opened my eyes and saw her standing right in front of my face not moving and not saying anything. She never said anything until my DH asked her flat out as he took her back to bed. He took her because she reminded me of a Stephen King novel and I actually didn't want to go near her. This was after I reached behind myself and punched my DH in the back to wake him up. Since then I have had 3 other daughters and let me tell you they have ALL slept in their own beds from day one. Granted it may have been beside my bed but never again in it.

good luck!! (and no I am not making this up.)

Luzenia - posted on 12/11/2010

Well, If you are just letting her cry a few minutes your not giving her enough time to self sooth. Three months is pretty much the mark when you want to start getting into a routine. I would give my son ten minutes to "work it out" and he would never make it past five. I know when your baby is crying 1 minute can feel like an hour but she will be fine I promise :D

Pamela - posted on 12/11/2010

whahah I could not be a co sleeper cause it made my sons and I sleep worse they preferred there own space and so did I they slept through from 7pm - 6 am from 10 and 12 weeks. I also don't have a problem with letting them cry .. but do I think your creating a monster? NO WAY! I have a friend who has a 23 month old and a 4 month old and she co sleeps with both still and does not want to stop ( they are not monsters) my niece slept with my brother and his wife for about 18 months my mum thought this was a horrible idea but one day Elise just decided to go to her room and that was it from then on she has slept wonderfully in her bed .. did they have some problems transitioning yeah sure but she was not a monster. and I also have another friend of mine who's little girl slept with her up until 11 month ( still does now at 16 months alot of the time) we looked after her one full night and YES she was a MONSTER! the scream was hideous like she was being brutally murdered ! I was told to just keep sticking bottles in her mouth ( up to 5 in one night !) after one full one and a bit she seems to have a tummy ache so I just had to sit up with her all night ! .. I told my friend I would not look after her again over night until she could sleep through so from that day she let her have naps and occasional nights in her cot it took her about a week I think and the next time we looks after her at about 13 months she was a wonderful sleeper! she can go from sleeping with mummy to sleeping by herself with no problems.. do what you think is right I would say if you do want to sleep by yourself again before she is 12 months I would transition before she turns 6 months old as it will be easier. think about what you want for the future and start the routine now ! from day dot with my two it was 6pm dinner ( last BF) bath, story and then bed at 7-00 and now my eldest is going to be 3 in 4 weeks and we still have the same routine!

Erica - posted on 12/11/2010

My daughter did the same thing! Doc told me to Let her cry till she puked!!! I couldn't. I waited till she was 9 months to teach her to fal asleep on her own. It was a rough week but she is now 20 months and goes to sleep on her own with no problem at all! Your the mom, follow your instincts. Every child is different!!!

Celeste - posted on 12/11/2010

You arent creating a monster, you are nurturing your baby to be content, secure and comforted within her family unit, by offering her such wonderful closeness. Your little one is only 3 months old, and is still very unsure of this new strange world she is in, and the more comfort and reassurance she gets from you (in the form of co-sleeping and other) is what is going to help her realise that she is in a stable environment and this will therefore allow her the confidence to gradually become more independant as she grows. I co-slept with my bub for 3 months (on my chest) as that is the only way I could get her to sleep at that stage. Steadily at about 3 1/2 months I started placing her in her own cot in own room (as my husbands snoring used to disturb her sleep too much) with a transitional toy (her lovey) which she associated with me, and she has happily been sleeping in her own cot in her nursery for the past 7 months. She was and always has been a baby that thrives on attention and cuddles and love mainly during the day, so that is exactly what she gets, and is becoming more and more independant because of it.

You are not doing anything wrong, and you or your baby wont suffer for it. I know many parents believe in Cry it out methods, I respect their decisions, but I am personally not in favour of it, for many reasons, one being that if it feels wrong to do it, inside, and your gut say's no, then it cant be right, and it wasnt for me. I have never used this method, Ive stuck it out with my way when times have been a bit tougher (not many of those) and I believe its been the best thing for my LO and of course me too. She has slept with me twice since she was 3 months old when she has been ill, and is then happy to go back to her cot once she feels a bit better again.

I would just ensure a good, peaceful bedtime routine and be consistent with it, so that when the time comes to transition her into her own bed, there is not such an enormous change, other than her own bed. You may have a few broken nights to begin with like I had whilst my LO got used to the new arrangement, but I was consistent with her, loads of cuddles through the day, her routine, bedtime and would always go to her when she cried for me at night, to reassure her. I feel that because of this, she quickly felt comfortable with her new bed, and happy that mommy wasnt far away. So before long, we were both sleeping peacefully again. Stick to your guns mommy, and do it for as long as it is right for you both x

Danielle - posted on 12/11/2010

i have 15 month twin girls, they have always slept in their cribs, except for the few occasions. sometimes they cry it out for a few minutes, if it doesnt stop after 15 ill go in there, otherwise the fall right asleep. OUr pedistrician said crying for a little while isnt gonna hurt them and its actually good for thier lung strength. We now put a little tv in their room and play a movie at night for them to fall asleep to with the volume down low. I think the bit of light and sound helps keep them occupied as they fall asleep (but im just guessing lol) it does seem to work most of the time. plus, its a good excuse for me to watch disney princess movies again

Atasha - posted on 12/11/2010

I let my first daughter sleep with me until she was 5. All it took to make her stop was tucking her into bed at night with a hug n kiss. As long as you are comfortable with the situation then there is no problem. Kids love cuddling and find comfort in having mommy with them. I currently let my seven month old sleep with me and I am confident that I can get her to sleep on her own when I am ready. Just enjoy your children.

Sarah - posted on 12/11/2010

I'd like to add that a nurse once shared with me the higher instance of SIDS is not just in co-sleeping situations but in co-sleeping situations where other factors are also present, such as parents under the influence of drugs(prescribed or otherwise), alcohol or parents who smoke. If you are healthy and not overly exhausted and don't take part in anything that will affect how deeply you sleep there are no stats that co-sleeping causes a higher instance of SIDS. People generalize this stat to back up their claim that co-sleeping is bad. The nurse shared this with me while I was in the hospital with my 18 month old while he had croup and was sleeping with him, apparently some of the nurses were making comments on how it was bad for me to be in the bed with him so this nurse shared the truth with me. While he was sick there would be times in the middle of the night where he couldn't catch his breath or would have coughing fits and need someone to hold him up and I was there right away, if he was in his own room or even another bed my reaction time would have been slower.

Sarah - posted on 12/11/2010

Both of my children sleep in my bed, my son is 2 1/2 and my daughter is 6 months. They sleep for more than 10 hours on the average night and we are all better people for having the chance to get that much sleep. I have learned that the important thing is that you do what works best for your family and do your best not to get annoyed with all those people who think they know better. If you think about it sleeping with our children is the most natural thing for us to do, it was what we did before it became popular to have several rooms in our homes and in many third world countries families sleep together and it's the norm. Or look at animals, they all sleep with their young, to keep them warm, feed them and protect them. In my opinion it's contrary to our instinct to push our helpless babies away. Whenever I start to question my 2 1/2 year old still sleeping with us I remember all the Moms of older children who miss the days when their children were willing to snuggle with them and I think I will keep him with me as long as he wants to and enjoy his snuggles because someday he won't want to give them any more.

Bethany - posted on 12/11/2010

oh geez, tell em to mind their own bees wax. What's it hurting them? Are they in your bed too? No, so they can bugger off.

Kristy - posted on 12/11/2010

i never let my daughter co sleep mainly because of the higher risk of SIDS but i dont belive in letting them cry it out either, i let my daughter fall asleep on me but always put her in her own bed, right next to me so i was within arms distance of her. She liked to be swaddled and as long as she was burped properly she went down like this like a dream. your bub is only 3months so i definately wouldnt let her cry it out, any midwife or pedi will tell you she is way to young for that. at the moment your trying to built a strong bond between the two of you and it is not recommended for any chid under 12months to be left to cry it out. use your instincts they are there for a reason :) my only concern would be safety with the whole co-sleeping thing :) congrats on your baby girl :)

Chrissie - posted on 12/10/2010

My sons was sleeping in bed with me and I got him out because I woke up and he had moved his feet off my chest and I didn't feel it. Then a friend of mine was yanked awake by her husband while taking a nap because her son had wiggled his way off of her chest and had somehow gotten underneath her.. Another friend of mine had a friend who actually did roll onto her baby while sleeping and her son died. Accident happen, and even though my son was only a month, it was VERY hard to get him into his bassinet. I started by sitting by him rubbing his back, so he knew I was right there. Then once he was use to that i would only lay my hand on his back. Then I slowly began moving my hand out a little more every night. That in itself took about 3 weeks and it was really hard. I definitely will not have my next sleeping with me.

Christi - posted on 12/10/2010

My son is about to turn 2 and he still sleeps with my husband and I. Our reasons I am sure are very different from everyone else's but if you are comfortbale with her sleeping with you, then let her. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. Our son is Autistic and has horrific night terrors, has ever since he was an infant. There is no way I would let him work it out on his own in his own room, that would absolutely terrifying for him, not to mention he is horrified of the dark. We have several night lights in our room and he is comforted snuggling between us and we love having him in bed with us. It doens't cramp our love life like alot of people would think. Works for us.

Maggie - posted on 12/10/2010

I slept with both my kids for years! I started putting my older son in his own bed when he was two because I was pregnant with my second and there was just no room in the bed. He's four now and sleeps through the night wonderfully. My two year old wanders into my bed in the middle of the night but I don't mind. He's not very snuggly during the day so I'll happily share my bed.

The decision is all yours and you have to do what is right for you and your family. Just know that babies who co-sleep are better sleepers throughout life than those who are left to cry it out. If you don't mind sharing your bed then keep doing what you're doing. If you don't want to share your bed then there are lots of other ways to "sleep train" your baby that don't involve stress and abandonment. Most recommend waiting until 6 months old, though. In fact, even crying it out isn't recommended until 6 months.

Read this:
http://www.selfmademom.net/2010/11/14/wh...

Mechelle - posted on 12/10/2010

Hi Ashlee, I allow my daughter to sleep with me too but not exclusively. Do I regret it? yes, sometimes it's a nuisance, but i also enjoy it as well. I have seven children all which i allowed to sleep with me pretty much up until the first year of life. the difference is that I also kept them sleeping in their bed as well. Once they fell asleep I would transfer them to their bed. For me the key was not having them in my bed so much that they felt that it was theirs. I did have one child that absolutely hated sleeping in their bed. Eventually i discoverd that the crib mattress was too hard. Once I traded to one that was less firm they slept in their bed better.

Trina - posted on 12/10/2010

i went thru the same thing with my baby whose now 3. every told me to make her sleep in her crib. well me being defiant brought her home and she slept in my bed every since. i love the closeness the connection. however at 3 she sleeps crazy! feet in my face.. just crazy! so now im tryna get her to sleep in her toddler bed and its not working whatsoever. if i cld do it over i wld start at 1. whens she tired do bath, book, and bed. shell cry but thats ok.. i say 20min at the most. but i dnt think it'll take that long

Amanda - posted on 12/10/2010

There is no way that you are creating a monster! Babies like to be close to their moms. I don't see anything wrong with letting her sleep with you as long as you realize that she will be sleeping with you for many years to come and you are okay with that. I let my son sleep with me when he was a baby up until he was a little over 4 years old. He was scared to sleep in a room by himself and I didn't blame him. I don't like sleeping by myself so I couldn't expect him to do it. After his sister was born and once she was 2 months old I started putting her to sleep in her crib. Both my kids share a room right now so once she started sleeping in there then he did, and now he wouldn't have it any other way. I do let my daughter sleep with me now. She is 15 months old. I put her to bed in her own room which helps my son to sleep, and then when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night I let her get in bed with me. My son loves to sleep in his own bed now. It's only a temporary thing letting them sleep with you. One day she won't want you to hold her and cuddle with her anymore, so cherish these moments. They sure won't last!

Nicole - posted on 12/10/2010

i didn't co sleep cause i have seen what that does first hand. not the while asphyxiate your child by rolling on top of them but the clinging and not sleeping in their own bed. its terrible. 3 yrs old and still has issues with sleeping....

i let my daughter cry but i also do a no no i give her a bottle to go to bed with. i however make sure to stay up and take it away after she is asleep if not you can cause major problems with baby bottle tooth decay. but i know that will be a hard habit to break her of ...but i rather that then wanting to sleep in my bed. with out it she will cry and scream her self to sleep for 30 min or more. which i have also let her done trying to break her of the bottle habit as she is now 9 months old. you can't run to them every time they cry i agree. my daughter is learning to stand she falls over and cries i make a joke of it and tell her wooopsie let her get back up on her own and a min later she is off some where else trying to do it again. all children are different but one ting is the same if you baby them too much they will want it and expect it for a very long time when they should't be. like 4 yr olds with pacifiers and getting rides in a stroller around a store....

Ashley - posted on 12/10/2010

I to this day have never shared a bed with my son. With the exception of him being sick. However, it doesn't make co-sleepin wrong. It's just a personal preferance. It's your child, your decisions. People need to let you be the parent. Advice is nice, but for them to tell you you're creating a monster is totally out of line. But the only thing I have to agree with is that if you're married or in a relationship with someone having a child sleep with you does strain the relationship. 2 of my friends right now are going through marital problems because there's no time for intimacy anymore because there's always a child in their bed. I'm not saying that that is gonna happen to you. But it's just a thought. But like I said before, you're the parent you make the call. So don't let anyone tear you down for having your daughter sleep in bed with you.

Laura - posted on 12/09/2010

My son slept with me up until he was about a year old. He is a bed hog and I wasnt getting enough sleep to function. He transitioned well. We would put him in his bed and when he woke up id go and get him. He still hasnt learned to go to bed by himself and has always been held, rocked or both and he is 2 now. As long as you are comfortable with her in the bed it doesnt matter, It is hard to break them of it when they get older, but its your decision when you decide she needs to sleep in her own bed.

Hayley - posted on 12/09/2010

I always think that if you have no problem with doing things the way you already are then it doesn't matter what everybody else thinks......carry on.

Terra - posted on 12/09/2010

I sleep trained all my kids, I guess because I knew I needed to get some sleep! But, really, it's your business, and as long as your doing what you feel in your heart is right for you and your child, thats all that matters! You are not creating a monster! Comforting your child is the natural thing to want to do. :-)

Tiffany - posted on 12/09/2010

I think it just depends on what the family is comfortable with. Our son is almost 21 months old and he sleeps right beside us. He has slept with us every day since he was born. I was always told "you don't want him to still be sleeping with you when he's...(however old.) and all I could say was "How do you know what I want?" We do not mind at all that he sleeps with us. Hubby and I still get our time, but it has to be elsewhere. We all feel more comfortable with him being so close. We are, however getting him a toddler bed when he turns 2. But his bed will still be right next to ours. We have a smaller house so our bedroom/livingroom are all in just one big room. We like it though. He will be in his own bed, but still right there. You aren't doing anything wrong, in my opinion, if it's what you guys want.

Stephanie - posted on 12/09/2010

i have a 15 month old daughter who has slept with me and daddy since the day she was born in the hosptial. but we also didnt have the room for a crib because we were staying at his parents in a bed room but i wanted her to sleep with us and plus i planned on breast feeding so i didnt want to have to get up out of bed but breast feeding didnt work. i am now pregnant again and we are buying a crib even tho we are still in a room but in my moms house so alot of our stuff is in the living room so we have just enough space in our room for a crib. i do not regret having my daughter sleep with us i just dont want 2 sleeping with us and specailly a toddler with a newborn. but u do wat you think is right for you and baby!!! good luck

Jennifer - posted on 12/09/2010

i can relate, but as a first time mom i felt obligated to fall in between so that i can see what works for us without completely going one way or the other and making changes so abruptly. at first i refused to feed my daughter when laying down because i was paranoid of falling asleep and suffocating her. push came to shove and i got desperate for some sleep so eventually i did it anyway but only for day time short naps when someone else was there to check in and i'd take extra precautions. eventually that turned into an every day and night thing and once she was asleep i'd put her in her crib and if she woke up i'd do it all over again. this has gone on for about 3 months now and it's gotten very difficult to actually put her to sleep in her crib. well i should say, putting her to sleep isn't an issue, getting her to stay asleep when we're laying her down is the real problem. i don't like to let her cry it out for everything like friends, family and a pediatrician told me to. at 2 months old i didn't think it was the best advice, but i did start putting her down more often and letting her cry for 2 minutes while i'd go brush my teeth or get dressed. 2 minutes slowly turned into 5 minutes, now at 4 months i allow up to 10 minutes if i know she's only having a tantrum. as for bed time i decided enough was enough and i put her down in her crib one night and of course she woke up crying and i just turned the mobile on and left. 2 minutes later she was asleep. the next day i did the same thing, 8 minutes later she fell asleep. now some nights it takes up to 15 minutes but she does fall asleep on her own now. if she cries for more than 15 minutes i calm her down and then try again. the thing is, she still wakes in the night and since i hate going between rooms every time, once she's up i just let her sleep with me. i'm letting this go on until she starts fully sleeping through the night. last night she finally slept until 6am (she usually wakes between 2 and 4 to feed) so we're already making progress and it's only been a week. i figure by the time she's sleeping through the night she'll have weaned herself from sleeping with me without even realizing it and it'll be a win/win. you can try my method if you want and see if it suits you. frankly i like having a few hours to cuddle just with my husband before i spend the rest of the morning cuddling my baby. but different things work for different people so just do whatever is best for you and your baby. it's always okay to listen to others' advice provided it isn't condescending but that doesn't mean you have to utilize it.

ASHLEY - posted on 12/09/2010

I think in the long run it is a good idea to get her sleeping by herself but it doesn't mean she has to cry herself to sleep. Put her in her bassinet or crib after she has fallen asleep so she gets used to waking up there instead of with you. If you keep a routine she will grow to love her bed. My son has slept in his crib since 10 weeks and thats how we made the transition not letting the baby sleep anywhere else when your home except for the place they will be sleeping at night seems to work. I think cuz it becomes familiar to them and they start automatically associating it with bedtime. I was shocked when eventually I discovered I could put him down awake and he would put himself to slee without fuss. The younger you do it the easier it is honestly. My son is now 16 months and is in a toddler bed... I am so glad I put him in his own bed early on because all my friends have two and three year olds that still sleep with them.

Heather - posted on 12/09/2010

You're not even supposed to start sleep training (letting them cry it out) till they are at least 5 months, so you're doing just fine. She needs all the attention you can give her and she needs you to respond when she cries. It's hard when you first start sleep training cause they cry so much, but it gets easier really quick cause they learn to sooth themselves. Goodluck :D

Alicia - posted on 12/09/2010

i think if you start sleep traingin when she is 6 months you should be okay. 3 months is still prety young to start any routine i suppose,but if she goes to sleep on her own thats great this is from experience i honestly wish i never started putting my baby in bed with me. hes 10 months old and i cant get him to sleep all night in his crib.. honestly he dont sleep all night ever so im having my own issues. wish you luck

Nicole - posted on 12/09/2010

I think you need to follow your own feelings and your little ones.

I never let mine cry it out. It was just not for me. I slept with my oldest and youngest. My middle wanted to be in his crib? They now are 8, 6 and 3 and all go to sleep on their own in their own beds. We did it until it did not work for both of us and the family. My children are not monsters and I feel it was what they needed at the time. Good luck.

Melissa - posted on 12/09/2010

Someone once told me "don't start what you don't want to finish" (with your child) so I didn't. I put my baby girl in her crib from about two months on and rarely rocked her to sleep in my arms. She sleeps soundly in her crib and I can put her in there at bedtime when she is still awake. It is YOUR choice on what you want to do. No one is a critic here.

Ambyr - posted on 12/09/2010

Well that is your choice. If you are comortable with her in your bed then thats what works or you. I was personally too nervous to let my kids sleep in my bed when they were that little so I never let them. My aunt has a 3 yr old ( almost 4) and she let her sleep in her bed and to this day she still does.The problem is she wants her to sleep in her own bed now and Ashley refuses to do so. So like I said it is completly up to you.I always hated hearing my kids cry in their cribs so I understand that part.

Karen - posted on 12/09/2010

1 more thing... try not to let your baby nap past 4pm. i always regretted it when i let her. since i stopped the late naps, shes good and ready for bed by 8. it made a big difference in how soundly she slept which helps big time when laying her down.

Karen - posted on 12/09/2010

I was told the same thing by my friends who have children. I wanted my newborn to sleep with me. 2 friends in particular would ask me all the time if shes still sleeping with me and promptly gave their advice. I tried to take their advice, because they made me feel bad, like I was messing up my kid. Now I look back and think, that while they are good friends to me, it was just their opinion. What works for them might not work for me.

I slept with my mother for years and years. It did not create a monster out of me. I have such a bond with her, I hope my baby and I end up that close. That it not why she sleeps with me though. She enjoys it as much as I do.
Heres the thing though. My daughter goes to sleep at 8pm. Shes 10 months old and able to fall off of the bed. Its not safe for me to lay her in my bed if I am not going to bed with her. The bed is against the wall, so she can't get off without waking me up. Because she can and will fall off, I rock her in the recliner until shes good and passed out. I'm talking mouth hanging open, snoring asleep. When shes at that point, I slowly walk her to the bedroom and gently lay her down in her crib. She may wake up an hour later or so, and not like where she is, I just pick her up and rock her again. I do this until I am ready to go to bed. When its bedtime for me, I lay down and when she wakes up in her crib, I move her to my bed. When shes in bed with me, she doesn't wake up crying.
Maybe one day she will stop waking up so much and stay in her own bed, but until then she is always welcome in my bed.

Bonnie - posted on 12/09/2010

Do what works for you. If others don't like it or have something to say about it all the time than tell them to try to get her to sleep on her own. I think that would stop them from bothering you right quick.

Joy - posted on 12/09/2010

If you don't want to let her cry, then don't. Trust your gut and figure out a way to tune out all the people who are reading your future (as if) and telling you what you "should" be doing. I co-slept with my son in a bassinet by my side of the bed when he was tiny and he's 3 now and we bedshare. It's not creating any monsters if all of the people involved are ok with the situation. I am constantly getting "the look" from people who find out that my son sleeps in the same bed with me. I don't know what it is about our culture that makes people now think that a mother sleeping with her child is somehow wrong. People always talk about how "back in the day" (as in pre-1900's) things were so much simpler and people respected each other and yada yada yada. Well....hate to break it to you folks but back then when things were so "great"....people were bedsharing with their children. Whole families, multi-generational bed sharing was going on all over the country and it was the norm. Somehow, over the last 100+ years it has gone the opposite direction and now you have a baby and everyone (or a majority) just assumes and expects a mother will put her child immediately in their own bed. If that's what you prefer, then I have no problem with it. But I totally get where you're coming from about the people who give you a sideways glance when they find out you sleep in the same bed with your child. My best advice to you is to trust your gut. Your instincts are all that matters on this subject (and most subjects on mommyhood). If you are ok with bedsharing then pshhhh to anyone else. It's your baby. Oh, important! Your partner (if you have one...you didn't mention one) HAS to be on board with it too. If one parent is ok with co-sleeping / bed sharing and the other isn't then that needs to be resolved and compromise is in order. However, if it's just you and your baby girl? Do whatever YOU want to do (just make sure you do it safely). Good luck Momma!

Tabitha - posted on 12/09/2010

I can tell you that you are creating a monster..... I have done just that myself. My 13 month old will not sleep in her crib and only wit me. the only difference is mine will not fall asleep by herslf I have to hold and rock her. I want to change that but I am with you, I do not want my child to be miserable. There is no reason to allow her to cry like that. In my own opinion. So when you figure out anything, I would love for you to share..lol

Lisa - posted on 12/09/2010

Both of our kids were in our rooms when they were born. Kept a bassinet/crib next to the bed and it just made nighttime nursing easier. But there were many times when they would fall asleep in our bed and we'd let them just sleep with us.

If you want to break the cycle, let her fall asleep in your bed and then transfer her to her own crib. But if you're comfortable with the situation, then who cares what other people think. Co-sleeping is a really controversial topic right now. Americans think it's absolutely wrong and babies/toddlers/kids belong in their own beds but in reality, cosleeping is a very old tradition that many countries and cultures still follow. Do what is right for your family...trust me, she won't go off to college being unable to sleep without her mom.

My daughter (4), still likes to occasionally sleep in our bed but she also has no problem sleeping in her own bed. Our son (2), likes to fall asleep in his bed but every room at 5 a.m., he comes upstairs, crawls into bed with me, gives me a kiss and goes back to sleep.

Kendra - posted on 12/09/2010

My daughter only coslept if she was sick but I always helped her get to sleep if she was having trouble. I NEVER let her CIO. She is now 3 1/2 and a great sleeper now... most of the time. She puts herself to sleep and STTN. However, she was 18 months before she did that. We feel that by responding to her all the time, we helped her feel secure enough to venture out on her own and do it herself. We are doing the same with our now 14 month old son. Like your daughter, he puts himself to sleep during the day but has trouble with that long night separation. I have been cosleeping with him more than I really want to but somehow, I feel like I am getting more sleep. He still wakes often to nurse and I cannot get comfortable, however, he is not alone crying for help with no one responding. He will eventually conquer the night time sleep as long as we give him the confidence that we are here for him when he needs us. Those who are left to CIO only sleep because they have given up on the one whom they though they could trust most and are too exhausted to continue fighting. That is NOT how I want my kids to go to sleep... its not how I would want to go to sleep either! I say, keep up what you are doing and keep responding to her needs.

Rebecca - posted on 12/09/2010

My daughter (2nd child) is now 11 months old and she slept with me until around 7 months. My son, first born, however did not. He never wanted to be held or cuddled while sleeping. He always prefered being put in his own room, and so I did that for him. But I never did controlled crying with him- he just did it all himself. My daughter however was completely different. She has a completely different personality and likes to be close to me while sleeping. I strongly believe that you have to put aside what the books say and what others say, and go by your child. From the moment your baby is born they communicate with you what their needs are, and I feel that when it comes to sleeping- they do the same thing. If you and your partner are okay with it, then it doesn't matter what others think. My grandma and mum really struggled with my decision and would often comment and 'try help' me, but I was confident that I was do what I believed my daughter needed. At around 7 months she started to indicate that she wanted her space, and now she is in her own room. But I still get up and comfort or feed her as often as she needs it. And everyone who spends time with us says that she is the most happy, gorgeous little girl- so clearly no monster.

Everyone has an opinion, and they are entitled to it- but remember that you are equally as entitled to yours!! You are her mother, and if you have to face some 'hard days' down the road then so be it- but there is no guarantee there will be any. And even if you are strict on them now, does not mean you aren't going to face the same or different 'hard days'. Go with your heart.

Debbie - posted on 12/08/2010

You do what suits you. If you are ok with it and getting the sleep you need, then just enjoy it!! When it becomes a problem for you or bubs, then worry about remedies then!



BTW, I had my kids sleep in the same room as me, right next to my bed for many months when they were new born. And the only reason I didn't rock to sleep was becasue of a bad back and they eventually got too heavy for me!!

Amanda - posted on 12/08/2010

I never let my son sleep in my bed unless he was sick. Made it easier if he woke up coughing really bad. But he hated sleeping, still does, he is now three and wont sleep the night. He would be rocked to bed when he was an infant. I eventually went to putting him in his crib and rubbing his back some nights he went to bed without a fuss, but most was a battle. But once he went into his big boy bed I lie down with him until he is asleep. He has a problem with the dark so if I don't stay with him he will not sleep he screams about monsters and shadow people, great right! Anyways in a ways you are creating a "Monster". Putting that into their head that they are only safe with mommy stays with them even from that age. But again it is up to you. My mom did it with us and I would crawl into bed with her for years and it put distance between my mom and dad cause he would go sleep in my room. Not fair to mom and dad or the kid what happens when the sleep overs start. You wont be their! Long term thinking has to be done, but once again your kid your rules.

Christy - posted on 12/08/2010

I never co slept with my babies. I was worried my husband or I would roll over on them at night. Sounds selfish but I needed some space, and the only time I got it was at night when I went to to sleep (and still do,lol). They are 2 and 3 now and still sleep in their own beds.

All I can say is do it when you think you should, based on your post it seems like at the 6 month marker. Set a date and slowly transition to it (maybe when she falls asleep, take her to the crib, let her cry it out for a set amount of time, like 15 minutes or so, etc)

Renae - posted on 12/08/2010

Here are some things you should know. 75% of babies will sleep through the night, before the age of 6 months, when they are physiologically ready, REGARDLESS of anything the parent does or does not do. That means that for all the routines, sleep training, sleeping music, lavendar baths, massages, self settling etc etc that we do, three quarters of good sleepers where always going to be good sleepers anyway and all of that stuff didn't make any difference. There are also about 10% of babies who will be bad sleepers no matter if you do everything "right" and teach them to self settle from the day they are born, again, it wont make any difference. The percentage of babies who are effected by what the parents do are the minority (around 15-20%).

When it comes to co-sleeping, you really need to think ahead. I ask my clients to seriously consider how they will feel in 12 months, when their baby is still in their bed all night and giving the parents no time out or time alone. It is unfair to teach a baby that the place they sleep is with mommy and then expect them to be happy about being stuck in a bed in a room by themselves when you decide you are sick of sleeping with them. Co-sleeping is a long term committment. All babies who co-sleep will become dependant on the presence of their parent to go to sleep and stay asleep and this is a difficult dependance to break. The great majority of children do eventually decide they want to sleep on their own when they are around 5 years old.

It is NEVER necessary to let a baby cry in order to teach them to self settle or to sleep through the night. Over the last 20 years psychologists have invented many sleep training methods that involve zero crying and no distress to the baby at all using tested and proven behaviour modification techniques.

Honestly your worst case scenario is that you co-sleep for now, in a year you are sick of it and want your baby in her crib, so you go to a sleep consultant who does not use crying methods and you spend 3-4 months of long hours and lots of patience teaching your baby to sleep in her crib using a gradual withdrawal method of behaviour modification / sleep training.

At the end of the day, always do what feels right to you and tell other people to mind their own business.

Alexis - posted on 12/08/2010

At 3 months I wouldn't worry to much. At about 6 months or so if you want you can start weening her to sleep by herself. If your breastfeeding then co-sleeping makes its easier too. I don't so see how cuddling and sleeping with your 3 month old will create a monster. When she is 3 years and you still sleep with her you may have trouble getting her to sleep on her own.

Medic - posted on 12/08/2010

My son (now 4) was a big cuddle baby, he was always sleeping on my chest or with me. He was probably 6-8 months old before he slept all night in his crib, he always napped in it. Then he got a big boy bed at about 16 months and didn't want to sleep with me except for every so often and thats how its been ever sence. He has gone threw a few spells of constantly sleeping with me for like a week and then he just decides his bed is better and now I can't convince him to sleep in my bed to save my life...sniffle....I miss my cuddle bug...and my almost 11 month old as never been able to sleep with me she likes her own space and no one touching her when she sleeps...(makes me sad, I love sleeping next to babies, they smell so good) so I guess what I am getting at is enjoy it. If its never made an issue and kids have the options of their own beds I don't think it ever becomes a problem. And you will so miss it when it stops.

Sarah - posted on 12/08/2010

I have 2 daughters now and the first one I hated to let cry... I felt awful listening to her like I was some awful mother and now she will be 5 in april and still needs to be helped to go to sleep... She either is rocked or laid down next to until she falls asleep... And it's really hard on my husband and I and on her I think in the long run because she really has never had to learn to fall asleep on her own. I don't like the cry it out method and I now have a 4 month old little girl and I'm trying to let her fuss a bit longer than I did with my first, but really you have to do what is best for you because in the long run it's how you feel and what you feel is best for your little one. I don't know if any of that helped you I just know it's hard to put my big girl and little girl to bed it takes a very very long time each and every night. Thank god my husband is there to help!

Candy - posted on 12/08/2010

Mine co-sleep with me from birth. They are now 5 and 6 I dont regret one second. We now still have the open door. If they wake up at night and want to come to bed with us they can. My Hubby works 24 sometimes 48 hours shifts so I let them sleep with me when he is not home.Even if I do say so my self they are far from Monsters. Now my oldest will not sleep over at Nana's house because Nana want let her in her bed for no reason what so ever. My oldest doesnt like that idea so she will go for the day and come home at night. Right now she is only 6 so no big deal in my book. They are YOUR children and YOU choose how to raise them. Dont let ANYONE tell you how to raise them. Thank them for their advice and leave it were it lays.

Stifler's - posted on 12/08/2010

If you don't mind then don't worry. But I hated feeding my son to sleep or having to pat him to sleep so I sleep trained him.